This is Fact, Not Fiction
by Musicmochroidhe
Summary: Tessa thought the world of Twilight was confined to the ficition books she loved, until a family of vampires moved to her hometown and she discovered that the books were more fact than fiction. PREVIOUSLY TITLED PLAIN AS DAY. Read/Review Please!
1. Chapter 1 Wake Up

**A/N**: This is a story I wrote, inspired by _Twilight_. It is based on the idea that the amazing world of _Twilight_ is somehow meshed with the Real World, and my main character, Tessa, gets to walk the fine line between the two! I do not own _Twilight_, or any of Stephenie Meyer's awesome characters, but I love the books a ton! Enough to write my own book that I hope fits well with the series. I have already finished writing the story, and I will be posting the chapters periodically, so I would love all reviews and comments! I hope you like it!

P.S. I admittedly took a while to introduce my own original characters, so please don't be discouraged that you don't meet the Jacob Black or the Cullens in the first chapter! Give it a chance! I really love all my original characters and I hope you will too!

P.P.S. I cannot write or read without listening to music, so I set up a playlist by chapter that I will post on my profile if you're interested. If you think of any other songs that fit well, please let me know! Ok, enough jabber, on with the story!

**Preface**

I didn't believe in fate. Fate was for people who weren't strong enough to take responsibility for their own actions. I believed in _choice_. Choices determined which path my life would take.

So if I didn't believe in fate, how could I explain all the things that had happened to me? Meeting the love of my life, _that _was fate. There was no other explanation for it. All the events that led me there, they had to be part of fate too. I thought I had been making choices, didn't I? Surprise! Nothing is quite as changeable as I'd like to think.

But _this_, this was something that I could change. _Only_ me. I was his only hope if he wanted to live, and it didn't matter that I was giving up everything I had ever wanted to save him. Life is more important than love.

Isn't it?

There wasn't exactly enough time to evaluate that now.

The pale figure flew across the space between us, cold hands wrapping around me, and not far away, just behind the shadows of the trees, a heart was beating almost as frantically as my own.

**Chapter 1**

**Wake Up**

Sighing with a deep sense of satisfaction, and an edge of lingering thrill, I set the book, _Breaking Dawn,_ down in my lap for what felt like the first time since I'd picked it up. The conclusion of the four-book _Twilight _saga, of many sleepless nights, many skipped meals, and more than enough literary excitement to last me for a year. And yet…

I couldn't fool myself. I knew darn well that a literary appetite such as mine was not one that would be easily satisfied. Not even close. Questions still flew through my mind, questions that wouldn't be answered on the FAQ page of the author's website. Could love really be like that? Edward and Bella, the perfect romance, untainted by the by the fact that they end up as vampires, as they are able to live happily ever after, _forever_.

I laughed to myself, a small chuckle. I couldn't think of anyone that I wouldn't get sick of if I literally had to be with them _forever_. Well, maybe someone… someone I clearly hadn't found yet.

The thing about books is that you can have as many happy endings as you want, yet still always want more. Because you won't find anything in life nearly as gratifying.

It had been days, yet it felt like weeks, since I first picked up the first book of the latest craze that was sweeping my high school. The characters I had just met felt like friends I had known from preschool; Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme; the Cullens, a family of vampires that lived in modern day, not to mention the pack of werewolves that shared their small town; Seth, Leah, Quil, Embry, and most importantly, Jacob, the werewolf who fought a vampire for the heart of a normal human girl, Bella.

__

I used to consider myself preoccupied in more important matters when I first realized how behind in the happenings of my high school I was, that I was the only one who hadn't yet read the books that were on everyone's minds; In truth though, I was just a little bit oblivious.

Who could blame me though? It wasn't like I didn't have a MILLION things to deal with on a daily basis; I could barely find time to sleep, let alone read a four book series. Books ranging from 498 to 754 pages, no less. I did have a few things on my mind: school, AP courses, five various music ensembles of which I was an important and prominent member, looming college applications, my duties as an upstanding member of the National Honors Society, fighting to be class valedictorian, and a well-behaved daughter…

Let's face it: I had my hands full. I didn't have time to breathe, I wasn't about to start a literary adventure that supposedly would never let me go until the last page.

But what had pushed me over the edge then? What catalyst had launched me into the novels head first, disregarding all my "important matters" that had kept me so busy before? Oh right, I remembered the day…

****

***

It was a cold Saturday in December, and I was standing outside my empty high school, wrapped up in three layers of jacket on sweatshirt on thermal shirt, bundled to the nose with scarf and hat, and yet still as cold as if I'd jumped into the Atlantic Ocean on a whim, my French Horn sitting sheepishly beside my trembling feet.

The day of the audition. The day I _blew_ my chances of claiming any right to the talent I desperately coveted. I had worked for _months_, months of constant practicing in every spare minute I could find in the empty school auditorium, working toward one goal: qualify for the district-wide honors orchestra. In the end, I should have known that no amount of practice or confidence would equip me for the inevitable fear and nerves that swept over me when I entered the audition room, faced the same judge who had shot me down the year before, and consequently stumbled through the piece that by all rights, I _should_ have known like the back of my hand. I played like an amateur. That's all I was, with no improvement since the year before.

An entire year, gone to waste.

_Not a waste_, my inner conscience told me sympathetically.

_Shut up_, my exterior bad mood grumbled bitterly.

And there my French Horn sat, sheepishly. It knew it was busted. It had promised me so much, and then fallen through as most heroes do in real life. Left me high and dry, and utterly miserable.

I picked up my horn and stomped over to my car, tossed it in the back seat without any sympathy toward the traitor, and drove home with a lead foot.

It wasn't until later, when my brother, John, found me lying curled up on the couch in a fetal position, wrapped in as many blankets as I could find, chewing on some form of comfort food- I believe it was a baguette- that I even considered leaving my self-induced coma of misery.

"Here," he said distractedly as he passed through the room up toward the stairs, stopping to drop a book on the coffee-table in front of me, "Eric borrowed this from his sister for you, he said you were asking about it," and he and Eric continued up the stairs, oblivious of my pain and suffering.

I stared at the book for a good five minutes, and it stared right back at me from the table, a mere foot and a half away, whispering to my sore and aching heart, _Come with me, it will be alright. You can forget all about your troubles, forget it all… My world is waiting for you._

I shifted the mountain of blankets on top of me to reach out one hand into the relatively cold air surrounding me, and lifted the book of the table, giving in to the temptation and stealing away with the forbidden fruit. And I let myself forget about my humiliation as I plunged into the world of _Twilight_; I didn't re-surface.

****

***

Almost a month later, I breathed what felt like the first breath of undiluted air since that day. The books had been a drug for me, or at least what I would imagine an addiction to drugs would feel like. No movie, song, or painting went through my mind without first going through the _Twilight _filter that the books installed, free of charge. I read and reread the four books until I had absorbed every word on the pages. The last few weeks of school before winter break had been a distracted blur. I don't think I filed away a single piece of educational information in those last few days. I was zombie-Tessa. No information got in, and none went out.

And here I was, after the bliss of several comfortable weeks in the fictional world where super-attractive vampires and werewolves ran off into the sunset after a simply normal girl. A girl like me. I had somehow just read the most pure and potent love story I had ever witnessed in print, and it had shattered my concept of reality.

Ha! Okay, I made up that last bit. I left the adolescent phase of worshipping fiction behind me in middle school. Or at least I humored myself with that belief.

I set the book down in my lap and gazed at the two windows of my room that had hidden behind sheer purple curtains during my extended period of hibernation. My lapse into fantasy over, it was time to let the light back into my room, time to return to reality. Just in time too, as the first day returning to school after the all-too-short winter break began in less than twenty-four hours.

It was midday I thought, probably somewhere between the hours of noon and three, and I was piled under blankets, as was the norm for winter in New England, in my room, still contemplating this new freedom I had found myself capable of grasping at, now that my hands were no longer chained to the books that had been holding me captive. What a world to ponder, I thought. What a life to be envious of; it was no wonder that half my school had been going crazy with all this in their heads, all through the fall.

I crawled begrudgingly out of my cocoon and crossed the room to the billowy silver curtains, pulling them back to reveal a beautiful day…

Lies. There was no sun shining through my dirty paned windows, only a heavy dark gray that shadowed the entire view. I flipped my head around to gawk at the big red numbers on my digital clock to realize that it was already five o'clock in the evening. I had spent much more time wrapped up in my book than I had thought.

Feeling sufficiently shameful of my laziness, I quickly made my way downstairs to search for the rest of my family whom I had strategically avoided for the majority of the vacation. At the bottom of the stairs I was greeted by the handsomest creature alive, and my one true love: My dog, Hugo, named after the French author Victor Hugo. Hugo joined our family halfway through my freshman year of high school, while I was being forced to read _Les Miserables_, which coincidentally became one of my favorite books. Hugo was indeed the most good-looking man I knew, if you would go far enough to call a dog a man. He was part Akita and part Chow, with fluffy golden fur the color of peanut butter, a sweet round nose that made him resemble a sleepy bear, and a thick mane of hair around his neck that he loved me to scratch. He had always been the most loyal of loves, and he had never let me down. Always a fair judge of character, Hugo never hesitated to let me know what he thought of the boys I sometimes brought home. He didn't like any of them. I suppose he could be the jealous type, a small price to pay for that kind of love.

As I stepped over the sleeping dog who had curled himself up on his backside against the foot of the last stair, he twitched his neck so that his nose gently bumped my ankle. A small sign of the love we shared.

"Hey baby," I said to my furry friend as I continued down the hall to the kitchen where my mother was standing by the sink, putting the last of the freshly cleaned dishes into the drying rack. "Hey mom, I just finished my book."

"That's great Tessa," she said automatically. No signs of intelligent life.

"So…" I mused, searching for a new topic of conversation to pick up after she shot down the previous one. "When's dinner?"

"Oh, you're father still isn't feeling well, and Johnny went to Eric's after their shopping trip. I guess we're on our own tonight." My brother spent the majority of his time with his best friend Eric, which was slightly mind boggling to me. I couldn't spend two consecutive days with him, let alone every afternoon and evening of _every_ day. However, the two boys were capable of keeping each other occupied for endless amounts of time, and I wasn't going to be the first to reign John in from his many afternoons _not_ bugging me. Now that I thought about it, I should probably thank Eric for the favor.

"Great," I said unenthusiastically. I kept leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for her to say something, some tidbit about her day, to let me feel less alienated from my family.

After a few moments of uninterrupted awkward silence, my mother looked up from the sink and asked, "Do you need anything honey?"

"Oh, no," I said quietly, caught in my charade of the attentive daughter. She didn't feel the need to talk, so I didn't have to wait around, did I?

I grabbed a yogurt out of the fridge and stole away with a spoon back to my cave. Plopping down on my untidy bed, I ate my dinner too quickly to relish any of it, and stared wistfully around my room. It was a mess, sadly neglected all through vacation while I piled my Christmas gifts and semi-clean clothes and various blankets all over the limited floor space. A humming sound notified me that the portable heater was stirring back to life, ready to raise the frigid room temperature a few degrees temporarily.

A loud and jarring vibration caught my attention as I saw my cell-phone light up and jump around on top of my dresser. A quick glance at the screen told me that I was missing a call from Barney, my "boyfriend." I didn't feel right calling him that. The word implied commitment, and shared feelings, things that I did _not_ have. Sure I felt something for Barney, the kind of love you feel for a good friend, or a brother. How exactly did all that happen? How did I end up as someone he called his _girlfriend? _It had happened during my month as zombie-Tessa. One minute I was having a good laugh with my friend, the next… we were a couple, and I was completely unaware of when the development took place. Usually there's a warning for these kinds of things! Some kind of sign or turning point where you can say, "Hey! This is NOT what I had planned!" But where had those signs been? I had tried so hard to NOT make Barney like me, in fact, I had never worked so hard to send someone's sentiments in the opposite direction. I knew that he was two years younger than me, that it was just plain _wrong _to lead on a boy when it felt morally corrupt to take his innocence like that… I _thought _had been doing a stellar job of keeping our relationship on the strictly-friends level… Suddenly, surprise! I'm dating him! I didn't want that. I didn't want to date anyone. I just wanted to be happy by myself, satisfied by the characters I dreamed up from books and movies without the pressure of being happy with someone else.

__

Lying back down on my heap of blankets and pillows, I leaned over and hit the play button again on my CD player, and the music brought me back to the wild fantasy of the books that I wasted so much time on, while I let the last few hours of my winter vacation slip away.

I ignored the buzzing phone until it fell silent again. Somehow, I would explain things to him. Later. Tomorrow. Sure I would.Of course, love couldn't really be like that; it was far too supernatural. Just thinking about it in the aftermath, I was shocked that this was in fact the story I had spent so much time obsessing over. _TWILIGHT_, the book, the film… the hysteria. 


	2. Chapter 2 Somebody Hit the Lights

**A/N**: Ok, I made a mistake and posted this the first time before previewing it. OOPS. I hopefuly won't be doing _that _again... Sorry to those of you who read this in underlined italics! Thanks for reading!

**Chapter 2**

**Somebody Hit the Lights**

Awaking to a blaring alarm clock, I groaned at the cruel machine that had stolen the last glimpse of my dream. There had been a boy, a pale beautiful boy… I shook my thoughts out of my head, realizing that my overdose of literature had somehow sunk into my subconscious mind.

I folded my blankets back and let my feet slide off the bed in search for the floor, shuddering at the unbearable cold that had all but put frost on my mirrors in the night. I hated New England winters. It was never warm enough to put any feeling into my bones. Not even the steaming hot shower could warm me on mornings like this.

A few minutes later I was stumbling around my kitchen in a semi-conscious stupor, trying to wrap my mind around the concept of school.

Ugh. School.

I hurried out of my house with few words passed between the rest of my family, wrapped in a stylish parka I had purchased precisely for the below-freezing mornings I had grown to know so well. Much to my chagrin, not only was my car buried under three inches of snow, but a freezing rain during the night had left the entire vehicle covered in a sheet of ice that blurred all the windows and made it nearly impossible to even open the doors. Finally, after chiseling some ice off with my house key, I was able to yank open the drivers side door and retrieve a legitimate ice scraper. Fifteen minutes later, I was rubbing my hands in front of the pathetic little heaters in my car as I waited to turn at the traffic light down the street.

I drove my friend Samantha to school everyday, which was possibly the only reason I managed to force myself into the cold morning each day. She probably was wondering why I was running later than usual, but I didn't care. I wasn't in any hurry to get to school. The only place that called for my speed was the coffee shop around the corner where at steaming hot cup of mocha flavored coffee was waiting with my name on it. As I pulled into Sam's driveway, I continued warming my frigid fingers in front of the dashboard while Sam waddled out to the car, slipping on her frozen driveway with a mock attempt at balancing. The door opened and Sam flopped onto the seat with a heavy breath of relief.

"Coffee," she said without any formalities.

"Coffee," I agreed, and we backed back out onto the road.

"So," I began, "How was your vacation?"

"Oh," Sam said casually, "I finally read those books, the _Twilight_ series," she said, brandishing the third one in front of her face before shoving it back into her bag.

"Oh yeah, I read them too," I said, trying to sound as blasé as possible. If I had any hope of retaining my composure throughout the day, I could not allow my mind to drift back into the book-induced zombie-Tessa episode.

Unfortunately, Sam didn't need any preemptive to go off on her rave about the books. "Oh! You did? I just love them, don't you? I haven't finished them yet, don't tell me what happens! Don't you just love Edward? I do. I really think he's a better choice for Bella than Jacob could ever be…" And I zoned out.

Keeping my attention firm, I convincingly ignored Samantha all the way to the coffee shop, where she continued her monologue, until we both had coffee and I had an excuse to change the subject.

"We have band first today, do you think Mr. Culvert will let us keep our coffee in class?" I asked as we walked back out to the car, warm drinks in hand.

"Who cares! I don't," she exclaimed bravely. "I could care less what that man wants of us now. I mean, recall how our concert went last week? If he thinks he can boss us around after that joke of a performance, then I will gladly take a seat in the office, _with_ my coffee. Did you do that ridiculous paper he assigned us over vacation?"

I hadn't. One of the many things that slipped my mind in my mental absence.

"No," I said, starting up the car and pulling out onto the street.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it," Sam said, brushing off the subject. "I'm not going to do mine, though I suppose he'll let you turn yours in later today."

He would. Mr. Culvert always took the opportunity to seem more casual with the students in band, giving them his e-mail address, staying late to chat about favorite songs, all a distraction from the fact that he was a horrible teacher. Since he started working at Hardgrave High School, the performance level of the band had deteriorated to the point where we didn't want to perform anymore, because it was too embarrassing. The last concert had been the biggest joke of all; I had actually urged my family not to come so as to preserve their musical taste, but of course they did anyway, and afterwards they didn't say a word to me, in an attempt to avoid stating the truth: we sounded terrible.

The rest of the ride was quiet, as Sam decided to read her book, and I opted to turn up the radio rather than struggle to force a conversation that didn't revolve around _Twilight_.

The first sign was when I pulled into the parking lot, and my usual parking spot was filled. By a sleek black convertible that looked like it had been lifted into the spot by helicopter, more likely than to have been driven there through the salt covered streets. I let out a hearty groan of frustration.

"Would you look at that!" Sam cried out, obviously impressed. "That's a Mustang convertible!"

"Who cares what kind of car it is?" I whined, "It's in my spot!"

"Oh, stop being a baby," Sam scolded me, "There are plenty of parking spaces left. Wow, I guess someone got a nice Christmas present," she said, returning to awe at the shiny black beast before us.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I awkwardly turned my car around in something like a six and a half point turn. Fortunately it was still early, so there weren't many witnesses to this embarrassing event.

"Well, no one I know at this school drives a 2009 black Mustang convertible," she said, "so clearly someone's parents were very generous this Christmas."

I glared at the ostentatious vehicle. I couldn't believe that some people's parents were so willing to spoil their child like that. I drove a 2000 silver Toyota Camry that I inherited from my mother when she decided to upgrade to the more fuel efficient Toyota Prius. It had ninety thousand miles on it and a dent in the front bumper. But I didn't really care about the quality of my car, only that it got me from one place to another.

We pulled up next to the black idol and took great care to open the doors without scratching its precious paint job. As I loaded my arms with bags, books, a French horn and a now luke-warm cup of coffee, Samantha took another minute to ogle at the Mustang that had already made my day bad enough to race back to my bed and stay there.

"Come on, Sam," I called behind me as I headed toward the school building. She gave the car one last wistful glance and followed after me. I tossed the monster one of my best death glares and continued into the school.

The hallways were crowded with laughs and groans, and calls of "How was your New Year?" and "What'd you get for Christmas?" but I just hurried on to the auditorium, my small sanctuary in the hectic building.

In the early hours of the day, the concert hall would have seemed eerily empty, if it were not exactly what I was yearning for all day long. Safely depositing my things in the adjoining classroom, I walked carefully across the dark, silent stage to the light box, then flipped three familiar switches. The room was suddenly illuminated by three rows of overhead stage lights, highlighting my favorite performance space. My French horn and I took our place center stage, and I proceeded to play a series of scales and arpeggios that reverberated through the entire hall and came back to me, the most sweet, wholesome sounds I knew. I segued into the beginning of the piece I auditioned with a month ago, memorized from so many sessions of practice on this very stage.

Suddenly, I was momentarily blinded by the quick illumination of the house lights in the back of the hall. I paused my playing and squinted to see who had stopped my performance of one.

"Sorry, Tessa," Ms. Gordon, the choral director, called from the back of the auditorium where she was opening the wide house doors to the exterior hallway where students were still making their way into the school.

"That's alright, Ms. Gordon," I answered, "I was done anyway."

I leaned over to put my horn back into its case just as my friend Carly shimmied her way past Ms. Gordon and walked down the aisles of the auditorium toward the stage, taking large strides.

"Hey Tess," she said as she took a standing position on the top step of the risers that were set up right in front of the stage. "That sounded good," she remarked, pointing a finger to indicate my horn.

"Yeah," I laughed sarcastically, "I'm sure it did. Just what everyone wants to hear first thing in the morning."

Carly was easily my best friend. The sincere kind, not just a friend that you spend the most time with so you feel obligated to put a title on them. We had known each other for years; years of sleepovers, phone calls, side stitch for overdoses of laughing, sharing movies and music, and receiving the best kind of love I had ever known, the kind only found in that type of friend.

"Whatever," she said, brushing off my grouchiness. "Did you hear about the new family that moved here during break?" she asked.

"No," I said, surprised. "Who is it? What grade are they in?"

"Well, there's four of them," she began, obviously enjoying the opportunity to gossip. Carly wasn't one to chatter about any old thing like some girls are prone to, so I knew immediately that there must be something truly attention grabbing about the newcomers. "There are two guys and two girls. I don't think they're all related though, at least, I think…" she faltered, unsure of her thoughts.

"What do you mean?" I prodded.

"Well," she began again, still uncertain. "I saw them all in the office this morning, and they didn't look anything alike! Well, I mean, I guess there were some similarities, I suppose…" she faltered again, clearly racking her memory for something. "It wouldn't make sense for there to be several different families that all showed up at once, would it?" she asked sheepishly. Without waiting for an answer, she continued again. "Two of them looked a lot older, so they must be seniors. Although, they all looked pretty mature, so I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders at the confounding situation.

"Well, I'll look out for them," I said. Carly's face immediately lit up with a wily smile.

"Oh, you'll know when you see them," she said enthusiastically.

My brows furrowed in confusion. "Why? Is it really obvious?"

Carly's smile widened. "They're _gorgeous_," she said, and she giggled an uncharacteristic giggle. Wow, these boys must be pretty darn good-looking to get that kind of reaction out of her.

"Hey you!" I laughed, smacking her playfully on the arm. "You already have a boyfriend! Keep your eyes to yourself!"

"So do you!" she laughed, whacking her arm back at me. Ah. She caught me.

My face immediately fell into a sort of grimace. "Right, about that…"

"Oh no, don't tell me," Carly smirked, "You're already missing the single life."

"Umm…" I stuttered, hesitant to answer. "It's just that, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship! I don't even know how this happened!"

Carly laughed at me, but not with any malice. "Ha! Well, I certainly don't know what event took place that convinced you to say yes, so I guess you're on your own for this one. See ya later, babe." The bell rang, and she ran off back down the aisle, and out the door.

I frowned, still in my frustrated funk, as people began entering onto the stage, instruments in hand. I headed over to my seat in the back corner and plopped down to wallow in my misery.

Three things worth noting occurred during band class. The first was that I consumed my entire coffee in less than three minutes, and burned my tongue in the process, but still felt like a likely candidate to contract hypothermia when I was finished.

The second was that Mr. Culvert tried, and failed, to commend us on an excellent winter concert in the previous week.

The third was that Melissa, the trumpet player who sat next to me, leaned over while I was drinking my coffee and whispered in my ear, "Dude, did you hear about the wicked hot guys that just moved to our school?" at which point I nearly choked on my drink and did manage to burn my tongue. Apparently Carly wasn't the only one who had noticed the newcomers.

The rest of the day was a kind of miserable blur. Gym class presented new tortures for the new year, guaranteed to fill me with delight and enthusiasm for the thrill of exercise. Not.

I didn't see any of the new students that were filling the hallways with the buzz of gossip. Not that I had been looking very hard. I was relieved to return to the auditorium at the end of the day for my independent study, time allotted specifically to practice the French horn. Once again, I took my spot center stage, and let my lungs fill the round, silver instrument with a gust of air that delivered my favorite sounds.

I ran through scales and arpeggios, then progressed to some of my easier solo pieces, then finally onto the audition piece I knew so well. The hall was filled with such a beautiful sound that I was sure would arouse envy in even the most practiced musicians. I was so utterly happy to be alone with my music…

I suddenly opened my eyes, as I had been playing with them closed, and abruptly noticed that I was not, in fact, alone.

There was a boy standing in the shadow of the doorway at the opposite end of the hall. I couldn't see his features, but there was a familiarity about him. This was strange, as I clearly didn't know him. He stood in an odd, distinguished way, like he could stand there all day without any effort, and even standing in shadow, I could tell he was very, very pale. If I squinted, I thought I could see a slight frown on his face, like he was deeply confused about something. I was a little disturbed that he had been listening to me practicing, and unsure of how I should politely ask him to get lost.

I jumped out of my seat as the final bell rang, surprising me, and I stood to leave the stage.

However, I didn't get very far, for as soon as I stood, Barney was walking in the door through which I had been planning to make my exit. I naturally turned to head the opposite way, despite the fact that the door was blocked by the mysterious man, only to find that he had disappeared. Frozen in my shock, I was unable to make an escape before Barney finally noticed my presence and practically skipped over to say hi to me. Skipped may not be the appropriate description. His movements were very awkward as he had recently grown into several extra inches and didn't seem to know what to do with them. Less than a year ago he had been a solid two inches shorter than my five foot seven, but now he was edging toward six feet. His walk lacked a swagger, but an uncertainty to every step made his round figure wobble from side to side. His face was sweet and youthful, and he had warm brown eyes that glimmered when he saw me. I hadn't ever noticed this before, perhaps it was something acquired during my month as zombie-Tessa. Or maybe it was the stage lights.

"Hey Tess," he said softly, like he was still a little shy to talk to me. This seemed very silly as we had been close friends for nearly two years, never hesitating to say anything to one another. Apparently, now that I was his _girlfriend_, everything was different. I shuddered, unnoticeably, simply from thinking the word.

"Hey Barney," I said, trying to give the impression that I was very busy and didn't have time to chat. Either I was a really bad actress, or he just didn't get the hint.

"So," he began, sitting down on one of the many chairs that was strewn across the stage. I sat down too, but a couple seats over. He looked disappointed at this action. "How was your day?"

"Oh, the usual," I said casually, "boring. Wish I wasn't here. Time would be better spent sleeping."

"Yeah, right," he said, clearly already at a loss for words. I abruptly decided that if I was going to ever free myself, I had to do it then, and quick. Like pulling off a band-aid.

"Look, Barney," I began quickly, afraid I would lose my sudden lapse of bravery. "I don't really think this… 'you and me' thing is how I want to be right now."

Shocked at my sudden decision, he stuttered, "What, why?"

"I just… I don't want to date you," I said, "Sorry!" I quickly blurted as his face turned dejected. "I don't mean you specifically! I just meant, I don't really want to be dating anyone right now."

The boy still looked like I had punched him in the gut. "Oh," he said, surprised at the rash change in the conversation. "I didn't know… I mean, well, then… why did you say yes when I asked you out?"

"I think there was a miscommunication," I lied. I suppose it could have been a miscommunication, if you considered being completely aloof a miscommunication. "I thought you meant we should go out, like, occasionally, on dates, but not… _dating_." I put emphasis on the word "dating" in hopes that he would get my drift. The look in his eyes told me he did.

"Oh, okay," he said, clearly trying to salvage something from our short tryst. "So, we _could_ go out sometime?" He looked hopeful.

"Oh, yeah! Sometime," I said quickly, pushing the conversation forward so that I wouldn't have to backtrack and explain myself. "But, you know, I'm real busy right now… with college stuff, and school…" I searched for excuses while waving my hands lightly through the space before me, as if gesturing the large amount of things that required my attention. Finally, I grasped at one piece of truth I could leave him with. "If I'm being honest, Barney, I really just need some time to myself right now," I said calmly, relieved that I wasn't lying through my teeth just to end something so silly.

A look of confusion crossed his face again, and he leaned away from me, withdrawn. "Tessa, we've only gone on one date. It's not like you go out every weekend!" He exclaimed, exasperated. "When was the last time you actually went out with someone, other than me?"

He stared at me persistently while I counted months in my head. It had to have been…

"A year ago," I whispered softly, feeling a light pain in my chest as I made the realization.

"Exactly," He said, raising his arms over his head in concession. "I'm sorry, but, I don't know what you need time for. And how much time do you need?" He was obviously irked now, but he wasn't going to bother me further on the subject. He got up and walked out the door in a huff, leaving me and my French horn alone, hit with my own bullet.

"Yeah? Well, who's to say how much time is enough?" I yelled at his retreating shadow. I was upset now, angry that he had seen through my façade, and upset that he was right. It was true, I was a lonely spinster who didn't want anyone near me!

Sure, it had been a year since I even attempted to go on a date with someone, but I had reasons for that time alone. The last time I had tried to let someone that close to me, it had gone way too far… It became something that I had never wanted for myself, something I was ashamed of. I wasn't myself anymore, I was what a boy had wanted me to be. I needed to be alone, to retain my own person. And now, I was too afraid to go anywhere near that kind of danger again.

I was drawn out of my resentment by a muffled chuckle that echoed across the room. The same boy who had watched me practice was hovering in the doorway at the end of the hall again. His shoulders shook with gentle laughter at my fury, though I still couldn't see his face.

"Hey, you!" I yelled at him, not caring about formalities or manners. I was going to give him something to laugh about…

I bent over to pick up my books and my horn, but when I stood back up, the boy was gone.

I yelled out loud with frustration. What was with the disappearing act?

I rushed off the stage to follow him out the door, but there was no one around. The hall was completely empty. Filled with a new fury, I retrieved my things and rushed out to my car, parked as close as space would allow to the school building. I took little notice that the black mustang that had ruined my morning was gone. I dropped my things in the backseat on the way to the driver's side, and with a turn of the keys, my car came to life, radio instantly playing my favorite station. After a few minutes of deep breathing to calm myself down, I gracefully backed out and drove home, singing as loud as I could the whole way so that I wouldn't have to think about anything but the lyrics of the song.


	3. Chapter 3 Play and Repeat

**Chapter 3**

**Play and Repeat**

Later that afternoon, I made the highly mature decision to not think about anything Barney had said or the accusations he made and focus all my efforts on discovering everything I could about the hovering man. Not only was I angry that he had laughed at me, but I was sincerely confused as to why he had been listening to me play at all. Usually when people heard me playing the French horn, they made their best efforts to get my attention so that I would _stop_, or otherwise they'd walk away as fast as possible. Even though I thought it was the most beautiful sound on the planet, I was about the only person in Hardgrave who felt that way.

So, with new task at hand, and old worries stacked on a shelf in the back of my mind under a large DO NOT DISTURB sign, I made the phone call to my first and only reliable source. Carly answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Carls," I answered quickly, "Whatcha doing?"

"Umm, nothing much," she answered lightly. "You?"

"Nothing. Actually, I was wondering if you heard anything else about the new kids in school?"

"Oh, I did!" She answered excitedly. "They are related! Or, at least somewhat."

I laughed at her choice of words. "What do you mean?"

"They're all adopted," she answered. "You see, there's Lisa, who's a sophomore, and Scarlett, who I think is a junior, and Roger… He must be a senior, he's so big! And then there's Sean who's also a junior. Their parents are really young foster parents, and they just moved here over the break. I think there was some kind of tragedy in their old town, and they decided to get away from it all…"

"Do you remember what any of them looked like?" I asked, thinking of my pale, hovering man.

"Oh, did you see them today?" She asked, "I didn't think they were in any classes yet, they were just getting schedules set, and paperwork done."

"I think I saw one," I answered, "He was watching me practice last period." I didn't mention that he had stuck around to see my embarrassing break-up with Barney.

"Well, the guys look totally different," she said. "Roger is really tall, and really muscular. He has sort of curly hair, but it's short. And, like I said, he's absolutely _gorgeous_-"

"Save me the opinions," I said, cutting off her drool-session.

"Well, Sean is a bit shorter," she said, "a lot slimmer, and he has blonde hair, cropped pretty short. I think it was probably him you saw. You would have known if it was Roger, he's not hard to miss."

"I didn't really see whoever it was," I answered. "I just noticed that it was someone I didn't know. Oh! And that he was really pale."

"Then it was definitely one of the McNallys."

"The who?"

"McNally, that's their last name. They're all really pale, kind of freakishly-so, actually. Not that it does anything to detract from their good looks," she assured me.

"Hey, Miss Gawk-at-every-guy-who-walks-by, aren't you supposed to have already found your prince charming?"

"Oh, Mike doesn't care!" she retorted. "I can look at guys if I want to."

Mike was the man I was under obligation to share Carly with. In reality, I had absolutely no problem with him; he was the best guy I could ever dream to have for my best friend. He was smart, funny, and totally loveable. Not to mention he was completely infatuated with her.

"Speaking of boyfriends that we ignore," Carly interjected with mild mockery hanging on every word, "How's Barney?"

"Ugh…" I groaned, comforted that this would hopefully be the last time I'd have to think about him for a while, "I ended it today. This afternoon actually, right after school."

"What did you do that for?" Carly asked, surprise in her tone. "I thought you liked him."

"I do, but not like that. Not in the same sense that he liked me."

"Not like how I love Mike?"

"That's different," I said, "You and Mike are soul mates. You were meant to be together. Barney and I were just social."

"Tessa, I didn't like Mike right away, I had to spend some time with him, get used to the idea. Of course," she added, "It didn't exactly take long to get used to. The real waiting was waiting for him to lose his ex-girlfriend," she giggled.

"I don't want to date!" I whined, "I just want to spend time by myself, and with you. Dating is too complicated. Besides, if there _is_ a soul mate for me, he certainly isn't in Hardgrave. I know all the guys here, or more specifically, I know they're all loser -jerks who will never achieve anything."

"Oh, don't be so bitter!" Carly objected. "There's someone out there for you!"

"It's not that," I admitted, "I just don't think I'm right for anyone. Not here anyway. In which case, I won't lose anything by waiting until college to open my doors to prospective boys."

"You are so negative," Carly scolded, "And so quick to jump to conclusions. All I'm saying is that you've dated one boy since we started high school, and just because it wasn't what you expected, you've been a cranky loner ever since."

"I prefer enthusiastically single, thank you."

"Regardless, I just can't see why you chose to blatantly ignore all your options."

"I've seen the options! You can't tell me there's anyone in our school who you would date, you know what all the guys are like!"

"You never know who might surprise you. Besides, there's new meat this term. I'm telling you, those McNally boys are gorgeous. If either of them show any interest, promise me you'll at least consider going on one, itty-bitty date?"

"Ew, no! Why are you asking me to sacrifice all the morals I hold most holy to date some guy I don't even know?"

"Because," she laughed, "I'm already a taken woman with nothing new to look forward to in my life. I wish to live vicariously through my bestest friend who needs a little motivation to start her currently stalled life."

"You're trying to trick me into agreeing, but it won't work."

"Yeah, just wait until you see them, though," she added with a wily tone. "I swear, married teachers will be reconsidering their vows."

"You're truly deluded," I told her. "Absolutely ridiculous."

She laughed again, "I'm bored! Let me enjoy myself."

"Ok, go enjoy yourself with Mike," I said, and went to hang up the phone.

"No!" She yelled, sensing my intentions. "Don't leave me!"

But I had already hit the end button, laughing at my crazy friend, spewing nonsense. The odds of a total stranger finding any interest in me were slim to none, so I felt pretty safe in this new contract I had somehow wound myself into.

I got settled into my routine of doing homework and periodically procrastinating for the rest of the afternoon. I started by picking out an old CD I had in my collection that I rarely listened to, and set it to play while I worked. I had never really liked it before; there were quirks to the lyrics that had sent me searching for more plain music in earlier days, but I was determined to give it another chance. I don't know what drove me to it, but I kept hitting play again, every time it stopped, until I began to notice new things about the songs I had never noticed before. One song had an incredibly calming classic guitar riff that reminded my of riding a bicycle in the winter. Another had a tricky tongue twister for the chorus that took me several tries to say correctly at a much slower pace than the song required. The last song on the CD had such beautiful harmonies, I couldn't help but hum along. As the day turned to evening, I kept playing the CD over and over, until I was lying in my bed ready for sleep, and the sweet harmony of the last song played like a lullaby. In just one afternoon, I had unintentionally grown to love the CD, all because I had given it the chance it deserved.

I smirked at my dark ceiling, realizing the relevance this phenomenon had to my conversation with Carly. I could just hear her saying, "See? I told you!"

Did that mean I would go into school the next day and tell Barney that I changed my mind, I've give a chance toward being in a relationship?

No, probably not, I thought. But at least I knew that if the right opportunity arose, I was capable of reaching out and trying something new. Then again, dating boys was _not_ like listening to music. CD's don't take over your life. They don't consume all your time. They don't tell you what kind of a person to be. You're in control. You hit play, and they played.

Boys were definitely not like CDs.


	4. Chapter 4 Envy and the Serpent

**A/N:** Hey Everyone! Thanks for reading my story! I hope this chapter goes over well, some of you may think parts of it are a little silly, but I'll just say that Tessa is a typical French Horn player, and as the standard musician joke runs, when two French Horn players greet each other, they say "Hi! I can play that better than you!"

Anyway, enjoy! The playlist on my profile if updated as well. If you have any song suggestions, please let me know and I'll add them! Read! Reveiw! Please!

**Chapter 4**

**Envy and the Serpent**

I had a surprisingly restless night, as I was constantly transported through the most vivid dreams. Or should I say dream, as there was just the one that kept reoccurring. I was always running, down hallways, down forest trails, down strips of an unfamiliar beach, and there was always someone running after me, a pale familiar face that was too far behind to see the details. The thing that struck me as odd was that I wasn't running out of fear. I had to keep moving, but I couldn't understand why I was running away if there was nothing to be afraid of...

And finally, I ran into something, a wall perhaps, and I was filled with immediate relief. But I couldn't understand these feelings. Why the lack of fear, yet the consolation of relief? The wall closed in around me, and yet again, I wasn't afraid. It was a comforting feeling, like it was where I had been running to all along...

The long night of running ended when my alarm let its wakening cries arouse me from sleep and I found myself severely twisted in my many layers of blankets that had encompassed me. Prying myself free, the only analysis of the dream that I could come up with was that perhaps I should give track practice another try. I imagined myself running around the icy track circle outside our school in several layers of sweats, panting behind the skinny, limber girls in my grade, and quickly reconsidered.

There was less ice on my car that morning, so I made it to the school with plenty of time to spare, claiming my preferred parking spot without any interference from the Black Mustang of the day before. Sam decided to fill the morning chatter with gossip about the new celebrities of the small Hardgrave populace: The McNallys. I was barely paying attention, more concerned about now slipping on the ice and dropping everything I had brought with me.

"...I can't believe they'd come to Hardgrave, they should be in L.A. modeling or something, I swear! They are all so good-looking, I heard that Tasha George slapped Steve Crawford just for looking at Scarlett for too long. I mean, _gawking_ at her, and you know he's head over heels for Tasha!" Tasha and Steve were the school's "IT" couple, they had been dating since freshman year. When we voted for cutest class couple in September, there wasn't even anyone else on the ballot.

"The really funny thing is that Roger, you know, the oldest one, totally went over to Steve and asked him to stop looking at Scarlett, and he was _scary_, like 'or else' scary."

"Well, you know, protective older brother," I remarked absentmindedly as we entered the school.

"Oh no," Sam replied, like I was missing the point of the whole conversation. Which I probably was. "Roger's not her brother. I mean, well, I guess none of them are related, but he's technically not one of the McNallys. He's an old neighbor or something, he got kicked out of his house so he lives with their family now. He and Scarlett are _dating_."

"What? He's dating her and he _lives_ with them?" I asked, shocked at this new piece of information.

"Yeah, I know, it's weird. But to be honest, I couldn't blame them. They're so hot!" She said this like it absolved all sins. Which struck me as kind of the opposite, but I just waved to her and let the conversation take a back seat in my mind. It didn't matter to me whatever was going on with these new strangers. I was going to graduate in six months, I was already accepted to my top school, Dartmouth, and all I had to do was coast and practice my French horn. I couldn't care less about other people's lives.

That is, until I walked into the auditorium and saw a god standing next to my seat. A god that stood about five feet nine, with a slender yet muscular body clothed in casual designer garb of a pale blue button down shirt and jeans that fit like they were made for him, and sleeves rolled up to reveal chiseled forearms and hands that grasped a French Horn. With honey colored eyes, a distinguished and beautiful mouth that was relaxed out of indifference, and golden hair that was cut short and attractively spiked, his perfect face was looking toward the front of the stage where Mr. Culvert was talking with one of the flute players. This magnificent being stood so still and looked so perfect, I would sooner think him to be a marble statue than a student at Hardgrave High School. Even his perfectly pale skin was luminescent under the stage lights, making him look like a man made of stone.

Sean McNally. _The _Sean McNally. The boy that the entire school was obsessed with. Sean McNally was gorgeous. Sean McNally was standing less than ten feet away from me. Sean McNally was in band with me. Sean McNally was completely unaware that I had frozen solid at the sight of him. Sean McNally played the French horn.

That final thought brought my mind back to where I was standing in the eaves behind the stage, the shock that this godly existence played the same instrument as me. Damn, that would make avoiding him altogether really impossible. I was not comfortable gambling with Carly over my status of "single" if I had to sit next to such a beautiful man everyday. Sit next to, and probably talk to.

Breathing heavily to regain full control of my mind in its shocked state, I quickly planned to portray the usual charming, cranky loner that I knew myself to be whenever I was around him. Problem solved.

I was still wary on how to approach him, however. How does one introduce herself to someone of such unearthly beauty? While taking slow steps towards him, I racked my brain for something to say that didn't sound entirely idiotic.

"You must be Sean McNally," I stated boldly, now standing right next to him.

His reaction wasn't what I expected, but then, nothing about him was something you could expect. He whipped his head around faster than I would have thought humanly possible, coiling into a pose that struck me as strangely hostile, and stared into my turquoise eyes with something that looked like... fear. Had I really startled him that badly? I hadn't tried to be particularly quiet, and I couldn't see what was so scary about a normal American girl. I wasn't even dressed in mildly threatening colors, or chains and spikes like my friend Kayla wore on occasion.

Before I could even step back in defense, he straightened up into the same pose as before, and shook his head lightly, like he was having trouble focusing on the girl standing in front of him. I was still in shock from his immediate reaction.

"Sean McNally," He said, confirming my assumption. His voice was the smoothest tenor I had ever heard; it was such a pleasing sound, more so than any instrument in the room. I could have listened to his voice for the whole hour and not gotten tired of it. Although he had introduced himself to me, he still seemed terribly confused about something.

"Tessa Calder," I introduced myself. I thought to offer my hand in greeting, but decided it was a dorky move. Not to mention, I was a little scared to touch those unbelievably white hands...

"Right," Sean said, like he made some mental connection. "Mr. Culvert told me I should look for you." That lousy excuse of a director couldn't give me warning that I was supposed to expect the most exquisite specimen of man would be waiting for me to play the French horn?

"You play the horn too?" I asked. Duh, he's holding one.

"Yeah," he said, chuckling a little, like he knew that was a stupid question. "I play a little. I haven't touched one in years though."

Translation: I shouldn't expect much. He'd still be a beginner.

"Well," I said as we took our seats in the back corner of the room, "How do you like Hardgrave so far?" Here I was, making small talk with someone of incredible beauty, fully aware that every girl present, and even some of the guys, were staring at him. I felt like an absolute fool.

His face remained unchanged, with that curious look that played about his eyes. "Fairly well," he replied slowly. "I think there are definitely some advantages to this school that I didn't foresee." Way to be cryptic.

Everyone in the class continued staring at him. Except me, of course, as the only way I could look at him while sitting next to him would be to stare straight at him, which might provoke a funny look.

I didn't _want_ to look at him anyway, I reminded myself. I was keeping my eyes, hands, and heart to myself, at least until college. Although, Carly's suggestion wasn't looking so bad right now, emphasis on the looks. I did a quick peripheral glance, just to make sure he was still there and hadn't disappeared to wherever it is that gods go, only to discover...

..._He was staring at me_. With those honey colored eyes that looked like they could see right through me. My heart stuttered under the intentness of his gaze. Why was he staring at me? I certainly wasn't anything special. I took the initiative to ignore his searing eyes and introduce him to the music we were playing in band.

"So, we're not doing any seriously challenging music this term," I started casually, still aware that he was measuring my every move. I flipped open my folder and set out some music for him to look at. "There's only one piece that's a little difficult, but I can play that for both of us."

"I think I could handle it," he said lightly, "May I see the piece?"

I handed it to him, and he set it up on the stand in front of us. Raising the mouthpiece to his perfectly elegant mouth, he took a steady breathe and began playing.

The immediate sound was nothing I could have prepared for. Where I had expected gurgling notes that lacked finesse, there was perfect clarity. The sound rose above the chattering band members that all raised their heads to discover where the brilliant sound was coming from. They looked towards Sean and I to see the god playing the most beautiful rendition of the music ever produced in this music hall, and me, mouth wide opened, aghast at the impossible sounds coming from the horn next to me. Everything I had dreamed of ever achieving, sitting next to me in the arms of a boy who was much too gorgeous to be real. Yet he had to be real, I was hearing it with my own ears, seeing him with my own eyes. The sharp pain of jealousy stabbed my heart and I couldn't take it anymore.

I leaped out of my chair and ran from the room, leaving everything behind me.

As soon as I was out in the hallway, I reached out to lean on the wall with one hand while my other clasped at my chest that was learning how to breathe. I heaved air like I had been drowning. In a way, I had been. Drowning in despair that I had spent so much time trying to reach a level I never could, when some _boy_, regardless of how good-looking he was, waltzed in with the talent I had desperately coveted and flaunted it like it was nothing.

My head began to spin as I was hyperventilating, and I slid down to the floor with my back against the wall. How was this possible? How could this be real? It was like my worst nightmare, in live action.

A group of ungraceful footsteps alerted me that I should expect a visitor, and sure enough, within seconds, Barney stumbled out into the hall, sweeping his gaze both ways until he saw me curled against the wall. As soon as the look of concern crossed his face, a look of fury covered mine, and I groaned loudly.

"Leave me alone Barney! Really, just leave, right now."

Barney ignored my pleas. "You don't look so good, Tessa. I could take you to the nurse?"

"No need," I mumbled bitterly, "I just need some time to reevaluate my life's purpose."

"Excuse me," a new voice said, as the angelic body slid around the corner of the door. Ah, the torturer himself, come to gloat. I groaned louder.

"What do you want?" Barney asked in a rude tone, clearly trying to play the knight in shining armor and defend the weak and humiliated damsel.

Sean ignored him and kept staring intently at me. I couldn't tell if his expression was of concern or confusion. It appeared to be a little of both.

However, upon seeing him, an angry monster of sorts riled up inside of me, and before I knew it, I was on two feet again, lashing out at the complete stranger.

"Hadn't played in years, huh? Yeah right! You could have warned me! Did you attend some sort of conservatory? What are you even doing here, messing around in some high school band? Why don't you go and play with people who can keep up? Do you know how _hard_ I work to play even an echo of that? _What are you doing here?_" My words had no logic or reasoning behind them, I was just letting out my anger, and this unlucky boy was getting the wrath. To his credit, he didn't flinch at my howling accusations, he just stood and took it like a man, probably thinking that I was insane. Barney, on the other hand, was so frightened by my storm of rage that he nearly fell backward, then quickly retreated back into the auditorium.

I paused to regain my breathe which was faltering once again, and probably would have gone on with another slew of grievances toward the unfortunate stranger, but he raised a hand in front of me that urged me to hold off my anger.

"I am terribly sorry that I upset you," he said calmly in that beautiful voice. Surprisingly, he sounded like he meant it. "It is even more discouraging that I've angered you so early, we've hardly even met." He smiled sympathetically. "I had hoped we could be good friends. I heard you playing yesterday, and I guess you could say your music _inspired _me-" He rolled his eyes to show he knew that his phrasing was more than a little corny, "-to get back in the habit of playing music. I really haven't played in quite some time." He looked at me quickly, judging my expression, which I'm sure was still bitterly hostile. "I was quite impressed by your performance yesterday afternoon."

"That wasn't a performance," I snarled through my gritted teeth. "That was me practicing! What were you doing, watching someone practice! Don't you know how embarrassing that is?"

Sean looked utterly surprised. "Er, no, I guess I didn't think of that. It was just such beautiful music, I didn't really think it would be an offense to listen. As I said, I have a high appreciation for your playing ability."

His verbal prose was so odd, so formal. I didn't understand his motives. I shook my head to try to make sense of this situation. I couldn't; It was all just too bizarre.

"Look, I don't care," I mumbled. "I don't care what you do. I need to get out of here-" I started to push my way past him, and he dodged out of my way so that our bodies never touched, but he called out to me just before I had even taken a step in the other direction.

"Wait, we haven't resolved this, yet."

"Resolved what?" I asked with irritation.

Looking back at him, his face looked just as confused as I was. Then the confusion suddenly disappeared and he was ice, looking at me blankly.

"I don't understand why I upset you, but I won't do it anymore. I think we can come to an agreement on whatever issue you have with me." He said the words like he were reading off a script, filling in the emotion that was printed in italics next to the lines: _Indignant, Sympathetic, With Sincerity._

"You don't know what my issue is?" I laughed, although now that I thought about it, I wasn't entirely sure myself. Better to make up something than be caught in your own trap. "How about, 'this band isn't big enough for the both of us?'"

"I am sure I don't know what you mean," he said, straight-faced, "But why you would have a personal problem with someone you just met it beyond my comprehension. Perhaps you could be more specific." Ok, now he was joking. I could see it in his eyes, the humor that danced around, enjoying the moment of my fury.

"Ok," I said, not paying into his wit, "I just don't see how we can both play the French horn. One is certainly enough for a band this small, and to be honest, I think that seeing as I was here first, I would be the one to take that responsibility." If he was going to play the gentleman, let's see him argue that one.

He surprised me by answering, "You are entirely right. My effort would be better spent elsewhere. I shall inform Mr. Culvert that I will switch as soon as possible."

Finally, I thought. He would switch out of the class, and I would be safe from his overly-attractive eyes for the rest of the year. I tried to muster a little remorse, that I was essentially forcing all chances at love out of my life, not to mention for this new boy out of a class he might have enjoyed, but there wasn't any. Oh well.

We walked back into the auditorium, where Mr. Culvert was on stage attempting to conduct a sprightly march that sounded more like a death sentence. I noticed that Sean was very careful not to touch me as we walked side by side, yet it felt like there was a certain kind of camaraderie between us, after achieving civility through compromise. I was almost sure that I could see him smiling out of the corner of my eye. Another thing I noticed: Barney was staring daggers at Sean from his seat in the second row. This may also have been what prompted the smile on my neighbor's face.

As soon as we walked in, the entire congregation of the band stop playing, most to drool at the sight of the masterpiece of man that was Sean McNally. Mr. Culvert, to his credit, only took a few seconds to realize that the music had ceased, and turned to acknowledge us.

"Everything okay?" he asked, clearly more than a little timid at the idea of a female having an emotional break down in his class.

"Yes, I think so," Sean said confidently. "We were discussing brass technique, naturally," he added. I gave him a funny look as he continued with the improvisation, but he winked at me and continued without my help. _Winked_ at me! I caught Sam giving me a look that I couldn't identify, but her eyes were shifting between Sean and me.

"We came to the conclusion that the horn parts were adequately covered, and I didn't need to play them for these pieces." I waited patiently for him to get to the point. "So I will switch to a woodwind instrument instead. I was thinking the oboe would be a good challenge."

_What?_ That was NOT the conclusion we had come to! I gawked at him, open mouthed, but he seemed oblivious to my horror. In fact, he was _grinning_. Grinning like he had planned this all along.

Mr. Culvert seemed as flabbergasted at this suggestion as I was. "The oboe? That's a bit of a change from brass!"

"Oh, no need to worry," Sean said soothingly, "I assure you I am a highly proficient oboist." I bet he was.

"Yes!" Ben, our current oboist, jumped up on his chair, shaking his oboe over his head in jubilation. "I can switch back to clarinet! Yes!" He jumped off his chair and quickly made his way back into the eaves to put away the instrument he detested. Mr. Culvert looked more than a little startled by the goings-on in his class. Fortunately, the bell rang before he could choke out any kind of objection. The class all stood and started to pack away their things. I saw Samantha in the front row eying me curiously, then shifting her gaze to Sean who was still standing next to me.

I turned on him with newborn fury. "What was that?" I yelled.

That self-satisfied grin still lingered on his face, and I got the chance to view his lovely, straight, absolutely white teeth. God, was there anything about him that _wasn't_ perfect?

"To what are you referring?" He asked calmly, but too much like he was very good at restraining laughter.

"The _oboe?_ I thought you were going to switch classes, not switch instruments!"

"Your current player doesn't seem to mind," he said pointedly. It was true; Ben was still jumping up and down on the stage, celebrating.

"So you're planning on sticking around?" I asked, exasperated.

"Of course!" He laughed, then looked at me with a whole new expression, but still with as much good humor as before. "I'm not going to leave you that easily."

My mouth dropped open, shocked. This. Could. Not. Be. Happening.

Before I had even blinked, he was reaching into the side pocket of my bag and pulling out a foreign piece of paper that _I_ didn't even recognize. "Do we have any other classes together?" He asked out loud, already comparing my wrinkled schedule that I had stashed in that pocket at the beginning of the year to his crispy new white one. His grin turned into a slight frown as he read the classes I was taking. "That's the problem with being a junior, isn't it?" He asked himself. "You never get the classes you want. Well, at least we have gym together."

"We do not!" I yelled, reaching for the schedules to see it with my own eyes, but he had already slipped his into a back pocket and left mine dangling in his loose grip for me to grab. I clenched the paper in my fist and shoved it back into the unused pocket of my bag.

He laughed at my rage and walked out of the hall, calling "I look forward to seeing you later, Tessa," over his impeccable shoulder.

I _wasn't_ looking forward to it. I had never met someone more infuriating in my entire life. I stomped off to my next class, French, which I shared with Carly, and flopped into my seat, anger still pouring out of me in jets.

Carly jumped up, startled by my mood. "What's wrong with you?" She asked loudly, "Oh, desole Madame," She pardoned herself, then rephrased her question in French. "Qu'est-ce que tu as?"

"Sean McNally," I answered, not bothering to provide an explanation en français.

"Oh, il est tres cannon, oui?" She asked, eyes wide with delight, gathering that I had finally met the new man on campus.

"Non, il n'est pas cannon, pas du tout!" I objected furiously. "Il est un serpent qui je veux battre avec un arbre!" Carly giggled at my image of hitting Sean the snake with a tree.

_Congrats if you can read the French! _


	5. Chapter 5 A Familiar Voice

**A/N: Ahhhh! I couldn't update for so long because of the log-in glitch! here's chapter five, it's one of _my _favorites, but we'll see how you like it (and you should probably review to let me know whether you like it or not, hint hint hint...)! Yay! I'll try to update my playlist and the next couple chapters asap! Little side note: I, like Tessa, play the French Horn, and I have a concert tonight where I'm playing a really tough solo, so wish me luck! Ok, done jabbering.**

**Chapter 5**

**A Familiar Voice**

My anger did not lessen throughout the rest of the day. It took all of my will power not to go to the nurse and get excused out of gym altogether. When I did arrive in class, sure enough, there he was, leaning against the wall, attempting to look casual, but rather achieving the look of a model posing for the camera. He didn't notice at first, when I walked in, but he obviously heard my groan when I saw him because his eyes flickered to me and the same confused look he had before crossed his face. It was gone in a flash, however, and replaced by a light grin. Damn it. He was happy to see me.

I changed slower than necessary and eventually made my way to one of the volleyball nets that were set up in the gymnasium. Some of the boys were already passing around a ball, kicking it at each other and causing a lot of havoc that the coaches were conveniently ignoring. Most of the girls were sitting down, and all of them were watching Sean where he was still standing across the room. Except now there was someone else standing with him.

It was a short girl who had long, dark black hair. Her unfamiliarity and outstanding beauty convinced me that she had to be one of Sean's sisters. She was just as remarkably pale as he was, but her skin was offset more than his by her dark gray sweater dress and black leggings that were just short enough to show a few inches of pale skin on her claves before her legs disappeared into a pair of black Ugg boots. Her height could have led me to believe that she was much younger than Sean was, but her face had a mature expression, like someone who had seen more than her fair share of pain and sadness. Looking at her face alone, she could have been Sean's mother. I couldn't imagine what kind of hurt this girl had gone through to give her that expression...

Suddenly, her eyes caught mine, and I saw that they were the same honey color as Sean's, but hers definitely hid something that the rest of her appearance tried to forget. Whatever tragedy had led the McNallys the Hardgrave, those eyes had seen the worst of it.

The girl broke our eye connection and walked over to the coaches to introduce herself. I began doing warm up hits with the volleyball, passing it across the net with my friends. Unfortunately, no one was passing the ball back. Every time, it bounced right past them, or occasionally hit their unobservant heads. Finally, fed up, I followed everyone's gaze to the ridiculously attractive leaning figure across the court, who coincidentally was staring at the floor, not caring to give an interested eye to any of the girls who were so obsessed with his mere presence. The anger welled up inside me once again, and without even thinking, I launched the volleyball into the air and hit it smartly on the underside so that it went flying right toward Sean's averted head…

Only, just before it would have smacked him right in his perfectly spiked, golden hair, he turned his face upward and caught the ball and inch away from his nose. He didn't even flinch.

My mouth dropped for what felt like the billionth time that day, out of shock at the impossible reflexes. However, this shock was nothing compared to what I felt when he lowered the ball from his face, looked straight at me with those amber eyes and_… smiled._

Yes, he smiled. Like it was some big joke we had been planning. I screamed in fury just as the coach blew his whistle, drowning out my cry of frustration. As we all split into teams, Sean was still laughing uproariously on the opposite side of the gym. The only thing that made me feel a little better was when I saw his sister glaring at him from the opposite side of the room, her look clearly condemning such behavior. Sean continued laughing anyway, and then decided to watch my every move for the rest of class, just in case I decided to hurl a ball at him again.

Why couldn't I shake this kid? If he had any intentions of becoming friends, I was ready to skip out on the second half of the year, get my GED, and lay low until college.

When we were let out for lunch, I got to finally see the rest of the McNallys. I let my eyes follow Sean and his sister to a table against the side wall where another pair of devastatingly beautiful people were clearly waiting for them.

Roger, clearly defined by his good looks and large size, was just as handsome as his brother, with short, sleek brown hair, dark amber eyes like the rest of his siblings, a square jaw and Herculean chin, along with a set of jaw-dropping muscles all down his body. He was taller than Sean, but only slightly, and also dressed in casual, yet clearly designer clothes, of a red polo and well fitting jeans.

Scarlett, who was easily the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, put my own blonde tresses to shame with a head of shockingly golden waves that wrapped around her heart shaped face like she had just left the hair salon, ready for a photo shoot. She sat sweetly under Roger's arm, toying with a tray of food, her perfect mouth in a bit of a pout, and only raised her caramel eyes that were set under a thick set of long lashes when Roger pounded the table across from them to indicate that Sean and his sister, who I gathered must be Lisa, should sit down.

If I hadn't been so dead set against concerning myself with any of the McNally's, I think I would have liked Roger a lot. He seemed like the kind of guy that would always find something funny. Even sitting in the cafeteria, not doing anything mildly interesting, a wide, happy grin was permanently set on his face. I also noticed that Sean was quick to share the good mood that Roger was exerting, and the four beautiful people sat by themselves, oblivious to the waves of stares they were getting.

I sat with Carly, Sam, Kayla, Joanna, who was Kayla's best friend, and Jarrod, who was Joanna's boyfriend, as well as some of our other friends. To my dismay, Barney decided that he was one of these "friends," and he sat himself down a couple seats away with his best friend Mark. The main topic of conversation was, of course, the McNallys.

"I think they moved here from New York," Sam suggested.

"That Roger kid is great," Jarrod was quick to add in. "He's in my history class, and he totally owned on Mr. Richards, it was classic!" He smacked the table while laughing at the remembered joke.

"I wonder why they moved," Kayla said quietly.

"There was some sort of tragedy," Joanna answered. "I'm pretty sure someone died-"

"Do you guys mind?" I asked sharply. "They're sitting right over there, they can probably hear you."

Everyone automatically looked over at the McNally table. Roger was saying something to Scarlett, and Lisa was staring out the window, but Sean was looking straight at us. More exactly, he was looking at _me_. I turned my head, hoping that no one else would notice the direction of his gaze. No such luck.

"Umm, Tessa," Carly supplied, "I'm pretty sure Sean McNally is watching you."

"Well don't keep staring at him!" I whined, "Just ignore it, maybe he'll stop!"

'What's up with him?" Joanna asked, ignoring my pleas.

"Oh, he and Tessa have a special relationship," Sam said, with implication heavy in her voice.

"Do you now?" Carly asked, eying me suggestively.

"No! We don't!" I yelled in frustration. "The only relationship I intend on sharing with Sean McNally is the 'pass the salt' kind. I'm not going to be his friend, acquaintance, or even someone he'd talk about the weather with. There is nothing, zip, zero, nada, end of discussion."

"Who'd want to be friends with him anyway?" Barney added, supportively. I didn't give him the gratified look he had been hoping for.

"Um, I would," Carly replied sharply, and shot Barney a silencing glare. He immediately left the conversation. She turned her gaze back to me. "Tessa, are you expecting me to believe that Sean McNally is _staring_ at you for absolutely no reason?"

"Yup," I lied.

"So this wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that the two of you had an intense conversation outside the auditorium this morning?"

I blanched. "How did you know about that?"

Carly smiled sweetly. "You forgot I had gym this morning. I saw you two!" Damn. I did forget that the gym was right across the hall from the auditorium, and Carly, naturally, would have heard me yelling at Hardgrave's new Casanova.

"Oh yeah," Jarrod exclaimed, the light dawning on his eyes. "Right after Sean played the horn solo from Danny Boy! Dude," he sighed with appreciation, "That kid can _play_-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, jerking in my seat at the reminder. "I don't want to hear about it!"

"Oh my god," Carly gasped in delight. "It would totally figure that the most gorgeous boy to ever enter this school would play the French horn. Tessa, you must be psyched!"

"Opposite of, actually," I amended. "And besides, he isn't playing the horn, he's going to play to oboe, and I can't believe we're talking about this at lunch! You guys are such dorks!" I stood up and dumped my things in the trash, racing out of the cafeteria toward my next class. Mr. Howards wouldn't mind if I sat outside of English for fifteen minutes before class started-

"Tessa?" An angelic voice in my ear made me trip mid-stride and I whipped around to see Sean McNally standing right behind me.

"Where did _you_ come from?" I gasped, catching my breathe. He smiled at my shock, and his grin made my knees feel like rubber.

"I believe that's an explanation better left for health class," he answered smartly. "But what I am doing _here_ is a different subject. I wanted to talk to you." He sounded completely sincere, but what could possibly motivate him to talk to _me_ was hard to grasp.

I didn't respond to his statement, so he continued. "I believe that our cordialities were cut short by the bell this morning, so I was hoping I could catch some extra time with you. I could walk you to your next class?" He suggested, then leaned in the direction I had been heading.

Too stubborn to accept, but too polite to turn him down outright, I just shook my head in surrender and continued walking. He fell into step next to me, still careful not to touch me, I noticed.

"So," he started pleasantly, "I gather you like music."

"You'd be right," I answered, not bothering to return the friendly attitude.

"Is that what you plan to do then?" he asked. "In your life, I mean," he added.

"Yes," I answered, briefly thinking about the future I had planned for myself. Always playing music, perhaps traveling through Europe to learn more about music's origins, teaching kids to have the same kind of passion I grew up with…

I stopped walking and turned to face him, composing myself with seriousness. "You have to understand," I began, careful not to look into his eyes before I forgot what I was going to say. "The only reason I was upset this morning is because you were so _good_-" I emphasized, "So much better than I am, at playing an instrument I've spent four years trying to master. I can't describe the jealousy I felt, I just saw my entire future, everything I've hoped for, slip out of grasp when I realized that I wasn't as good as I thought I was."

"That's why you were upset?" He asked me, the surprise written all over his face. "Because I could play better than you? That's hardly fair-"

"I know it isn't!" I exclaimed. "It wasn't fair to you, I shouldn't have judged you so quickly-"

"No," he cut me short. "I meant it wasn't fair to _you_. I've been playing for years, I have twenty years more experience than you-"

"That's impossible," I spit out. "Twenty years? What are you, sixteen, seventeen?"

"Right," he said, looking flustered. "Well, what I meant was it's _felt_ like twenty years, but anyway, I'm really nothing you should compare yourself to. Besides," he said, giving me a meaningful look. "I was trying to show off, just a little."

Of course, he had been trying to show everyone that he was going to be the big man on campus. I figured as much, anyhow.

"Please, like you need any more attention," I said caustically. "I'm pretty sure every girl in the room was already staring at you."

"I meant I was showing off for you." This caught me off guard. I decided to shove_ that _little tidbit out of my mind for the moment.

"Well, anyway," I said, "That's it. I guess I'm sorry I blew up at you like that."

"Entirely understandable." He sounded like he meant it to.

I kept walking, and he followed. I didn't understand why he was still walking with me, I had apologized, wasn't that what he had been looking for?

"Hey, what's the deal?" I asked, stopping again.

The look on his face was of complete innocence. "I don't know to what you are referring."

"I explained myself, I apologized. So you can go now, you know-" I waved my hand in the direction of the cafeteria, "-back to lunch. You don't have to keep following me."

"As it happens, I'm not hungry," he smiled a coy smile, like he knew some joke I didn't, "And I already offered to walk you to class. I wouldn't go back on my offer." Of course he wouldn't.

I begrudgingly continued with Sean in tow. I figured that while I had him to myself, and things between us were somewhat mended, I probably should try to be a little bit friendly.

"So," I started, asking the first question that came to mind, "what brought your family to Hardgrave?" I immediately sensed it was probably the wrong question.

His lighthearted smile quickly turned to a sad grimace, as he answered, "A brother of ours died. Well, a good friend, I guess. He was Roger's brother. Of course, I think of them all as my siblings." There was pain written across his face as he thought about the past memories.

I almost stopped in my tracks. I couldn't imagine losing a friend, or a brother. "I'm so sorry," I said. "That must be horrible for Roger." Just as I said the words, the thought of Roger's perpetually happy face crossed my mind. My confusion must have been apparent as Sean laughed.

"Yes," he said, "Roger is one of those fortunate people that can never be anything but happy. I suppose he truly believes his brother is in a better place. It was hard on all of us, though" he added.

I wasn't going to push him to say any more, so I remained silent. He understood my quietness though, for what it really was.

"I don't mind talking about it to you, you know," he said. "This may sound strange," he continued, with the familiar confused look on his face, "but I feel very comfortable around you, more than you can imagine. It would make me feel a lot better if we could at least _try_ to be friends."

His suggestion astonished me, but how could I tell a grieving boy who found comfort in _my_ companionship that I wouldn't even try to be civil with him?

"S-sure," I stuttered, blinking furiously.

He immediately smiled and stopped walking. It took me a second to realize that we were at my classroom. How he had known what class I had was beyond me, but then I remembered he had thefted my schedule that morning.

"I'm glad to hear that," he replied. "I will see you soon, then, Tessa." And before I could say anything more, he was walking down the hall, leaving me with my thoughts.

What an odd turn of events, I thought. I wake up refusing to even think about the new boy at my school, first period I've decided to hate him for eternity, and by lunch time I'm his new best friend. I shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all, and entered my class.

At the end of the day, I grabbed all my things and headed out to my car before I could be assaulted by Barney's persistent company. Due to my quick reflexes at the bell, I should have been the only one in he parking lot, but much to my surprise, all four of the McNallys were already piling into the Black Mustang I recognized from the day before. Of course, it would be their car, I thought to myself. Naturally.

Lisa was driving, Sean sitting shotgun. As they pulled out and drove past me, definitely over the 20mph speed limit of the Hardgrave High School parking lot, I saw Sean look at me a smile, and, yes- he even waved.

I was too stunned to be angry. I thought that for sure he would forget all about our pact of friendship by the next day. After all, there was an entire populace of teenagers more than eager to be friends, or maybe even more than that, with him. Who was I? Absolutely nobody.

Yet, it would be an understatement to say that I wasn't a little excited the next morning when I walked into the building and saw Sean standing casually by the door to the auditorium, eyes finding me as soon as I walked in. My inner monologue cried out in jubilation, _Yes! He was waiting for _me_!_

My exterior mouth said nothing. Sean was still charming.

"May I carry something for you?" He asked genteelly.

As I was noticeably dropping more than a few of my books and bags, I nodded my yes. He grabbed two of my heavier parcels and opened the door for me so that I may pass through.

"Thanks," I managed to mumble. "That's very chivalrous I suppose."

"Well," he said with as much charm as before, "I consider myself nothing, if not a gentleman."

It struck me as very odd that the new kid in school was helping _me_ around, rather than vice versa. How the traditional roles got switched was beyond me.

"I was curious as to what you do with your time, other than playing the French horn," Sean asked nonchalantly. "I thought perhaps there was some activity or hobby we could do together, so that I may get to know you better."

"Uh," I said, surprised by his request. "Nothing. I don't do anything."

"Really?" he said, interest piqued. "How do you feel about sports?"

"Lame," I answered immediately.

He laughed. "So quick to judge, I see!"

"No," I answered defensively, "I've tried sports, but it's not like gym isn't made to be a form punishment, and no one in my family watches sports. The only athletic activity I've really tried is track, and that ended as quickly as it started." I rolled my eyes, remembering the week long tryout. "I used to hike a lot in the summer, but it's way too cold here-"

"You like hiking?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, not seeing why this was so interesting. "I used to going hiking down in Virginia with some friends. But like I said, it's too cold around here to ever hike much."

Sean was quiet for a minute, then he continued his interrogations. "Do you play video games at all?"

"Umm, I tried Guitar Hero once," I suggested sheepishly.

He looked at me and laughed. "What _do _you do with your time?"

"I don't know! I read, I watch movies, I listen to music… normal stuff."

"Wrong," he said, still laughing. "Normal would be going to the mall, spending time with friends, creating a website, having a ridiculously large scrapbook sticker collection-"

"Are you saying you _do_ have a scrapbook sticker collection?" I asked him pointedly.

He paused, then smiled at my joke. "No, I do not. But I don't spend all my time doing _nothing_. I have... my own friends whom I enjoy spending time with."

"Like who?" I asked skeptically. As far as I knew, I was the only person he knew at Hardgrave.

"Oh, just people that I've met over the years... in different places. My family has moved quite a lot." Now what was that strange smile for? It was like he had some inside joke he wasn't telling me!

"Look," I said, a little exasperated. "I _would_ hang out with friends more, but most of them have boyfriends they spend all their time with, and you can only pull off the 'third-wheel' act so many times. Which, by the way, I am a pro at." I smiled coyly and grabbed my horn out of its case. Sean was in the process of putting together an oboe he had pulled out of nowhere.

"I see," he said conceding, "Then tell me what the last movie you watched was."

I thought for a moment, then answered, "Casablanca. I watched it last night."

Sean smiled that wide perfect smile, and said "Excellent choice." And launched into a whole new conversation, filled with quotes from the film.

The whole day was consumed with this kind of conversation. After almost every class, Sean would appear out of no where and our conversation would pick up again. He asked me about various movies I liked, I defended my favorite books, he told me about his brother's and sisters' interests, I told him stories from my summer hiking trips, and the day went on. I didn't muster the ability to be nearly as surly as I had been the day before, mainly because I was a little awed that he had chosen me of all people to entertain him, and believe me, there were more than enough people who were willing. I received multiple jealous glances throughout the day, and even some nasty glares, but whenever someone else tried to talk to him, Sean would flinch a little, and politely dismiss them from his attention. His only concern, it appeared, was me. I finally got the courage to address him about this.

"You know, you're going to get stuck with the impression that you're an unsocial recluse," I mentioned after he ignored a fairly pretty junior girl who had tried, but failed, to introduce herself. He looked at me like it was the last thing he expected me to say.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you apparently haven't talked to anyone but me since you came to this school. Were you planning on making any friends?"

His faced looked confused, but he answered anyway. "Well, I have Roger and Scarlett-"

"Family doesn't count!" I glared at him teasingly until he responded.

"I thought I told you, I just feel much more comfortable around you, more than anyone else. I just… don't connect well with most people."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I… couldn't say." His face looked so torn, I decided not to push the subject anymore, and we continued our previous conversation.

At lunch, he sat with his family again, but waved to me across the room before he sat down. This gesture did not go unnoticed. As soon as I sat down, still a little jittery from the remarkable situation, Carly spoke up, clearly continuing a conversation that had begun before I got there.

"I called it!" she exclaimed, reaching for a high five from Kayla.

"Called what?" I asked over the chatter and laughs the were going around the table.

"You and Sean," she said smartly, looking at me intensely.

As had become habit, my mouth dropped wide open. "I…I…I-"

"Don't even try to deny it," Sam continued. "Since you walked into the building this morning, the two of you have been attached at the hip."

"Obviously not!" I cried out, indicating my Sean-less hip.

"Regardless," Joanna interjected, "It's not as if he isn't the most gorgeous guy in school."

"Hey!" Jarrod interrupted indignantly, just as I said, "And this determines what?"

"You two obviously like each other," Joanna stated smartly like it was the only possible explanation.

"Could you guys just stop!" I yelled over the bickering and the jokes. "I don't know where all of this is coming from, but there is nothing going on between Sean and I. I'm being friendly, showing him around. Normal stuff! He just moved here, and I thought it wouldn't hurt if I helped him get acquainted with the school. That's more than I see any of you doing!"

"Don't think I haven't tried!" Sam bantered. "I offered to show him everything there was to see in this school!"

"Well," I said bitterly, "Maybe he would have taken up on your offer, too, if you hadn't been drooling at the time!" That made the whole table laugh, and Samantha calmly tried to compose herself, knowing I was right. I think I even saw Sean laughing across the room, but he couldn't have heard me. "Honestly," I continued, "I'm just being friendly, I wish you guys would stop making such a big deal about all of it." I made a big fuss about eating my lunch and eventually everyone stopped staring at me and the conversation moved on to something else.

Before the end of lunch however, just as I was about to dump my things in the trash, a pale hand reached out and grabbed the empty containers for me. I turned to see Sean's smiling face leaning over me.

"Well, friend," he said, "Are you ready to show me more of the school?"

I heard Carly and Sam break into a fit of giggles. I sent a swift kick under the table in what I hoped was Carly's direction, and half the giggling ceased so I must have hit my mark.

"Sure, I'm ready. What do you want to see next?"

"Well, I'm fairly certain I have no idea how to get to the library."

"Of course," I said, ignoring continued snorts. "Let's go."

As soon as we were out in the quieter hallway, Sean turned to address me less formally.

"I have to ask, and please don't question how I heard this, but do you really only think of me as someone you're showing around the school?" His look was so concerned, I was immediately taken aback.

"No!" I answered indignantly. "Gosh, I only said that to get my friends off my back!"

Relief swept over his face, and then the obvious question occurred to me.

"Wait, how _did_ you hear me say that?"

His eyes swept to the floor as he answered sheepishly, "I heard you say it. I _wasn't _eavesdropping, I just hear your voice better, since it's more familiar." He looked up to judge my reaction.

I considered his answer. "I suppose that's alright. Just as long as you know I do really think of you as a friend. I just can't stand when Carly, and Sam especially, think of you as a piece of meat or something!"

To my surprise, Sean just laughed and said, "I guess I'm just used to that reaction. In fact, you're the only person I've met here who doesn't act all strange when I approach you. I suppose that's part of the reason I like you best."

"Only part of the reason?" I asked, but he ignored me and changed the subject.

"I could try meeting your friends sometime," he mused, more to himself than to me.

"Oh right," I said sarcastically, "Cause I know you're just dying to face four gawking girls."

He smiled at me, and then apparently actually took the idea into consideration.

"I have a better idea," I said, cutting his ponderings short. "How about you introduce me to your family? I bet I'd like them."

"No," he said so quickly I stopped short. He saw my frowning face and then back tracked. "No, you have to understand, they aren't very… understanding. They don't socialize well. I just don't think they'd be very friendly to you, under the current circumstances." Of course not, not after losing a brother and a friend.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking into my eyes with all the sympathy he could muster.

"No," I assured him, "I understand. I'll lay low for a while. When they're ready to meet me, I'll be here."

This idea seemed to excite him. He kept walking while he thought about it. "You're going to love them, Roger especially, everyone likes him. And I could introduce you to my parents, Harper and Alison. Harper is very kind, and Alison loves us all dearly. And I know you'll get along with Scarlett, you two are very similar, and Lisa would love you if-"

He abruptly cut off, and a pained look crossed his face. I searched his eyes for some kind of explanation, but he quickly changed his expression and smiled at me, but clearly with effort.

"You'll like them, I just know it," he said finally, like there had been no pause at all in his thoughts.

I eyed him suspiciously for a minute, weighing the options of asking the question he obviously didn't want to answer, or just shutting my mouth and leaving it all behind me. He must have gathered what I was thinking because he ended my thoughts.

"Tessa, just don't ask it. This isn't something I can't tell you." The look of remorse was back in his eyes and I just stared at their unfathomable depth for a minute before I agreed.

"Okay," I said, and that was all. Conversation returned to normal.

**Review. Now. Go. Please!**


	6. Chapter 6 Leap of Faith

**A/N: Yes! Two chapters in one day! Sweet success! If you're nice and review, I'll be nice and add two tomorrow too, how's that sound? I think it's a pretty reasonable deal. Hope you like it!**

**Chapter 6**

**Leap of Faith**

Weeks passed in the same way. Everyday we would walk to class together, chatting about everything under the sun. I got to know Sean as well as I knew Carly in days, rather than years. We had inside jokes that never ceased to make us laugh. Twice he even brought me coffee, though I noticed he didn't have any himself. We were closer friends than I could have imagined possible. I liked to think that there wasn't anything forced between us, that we fit together well. He always seemed at ease with me, no matter what the day presented. And I did my best too.

Ok, admittedly, I felt a little odd being with him. It didn't seem right that someone as attractive and friendly as Sean would chose to spend all his time with someone as _average_ (for lack of a better word) as me. I sometimes suspected that he, subconsciously, felt the same way. He always seemed surprised to see me when I walked up to him. Still, he didn't sit with me at lunch, and he never made an effort to get to know my other friends. Nor did he introduce me to his family. It was like we were secret friends, although there was nothing secret about the fact that he walked with me everywhere I went. He never said that he didn't _want _us to be open about our friendship. My friends had long stopped teasing me or asking me unanswered questions about whether or not there was any romantic interest between us. To be totally honest, I wasn't terribly comfortable letting someone as close to me as Sean became anyhow. Only one thing was truly a comfort: We definitely were _not_ dating.

How did I know this? First off, we never saw each other outside of school. Not that I minded; I was spending most of my time rereading Jane Austen novels, a new craze brought on by my English teacher. Second, we never touched, not even by accident. I thought it was odd, at first, but I soon gathered that Sean was just one of those people that always protected the space around him. This didn't seem as strange to me as it probably should have. Third, the only term Sean addressed me with, other than "Tessa," was "friend." Even Carly called me "dearie," or "babe," and Kayla always called me "honey." But Sean was much too polite to use such endearments. I didn't mind.

We never talked about the future much, though it was all that was on the rest of the school's mind. All the seniors were wearing their college sweatshirts and T-shirts. I owned one T-shirt that Dartmouth had mailed me shortly after my acceptance, but I didn't wear it; The idea of me going off to college seemed to upset Sean a little.

The only time we talked about it, I almost forcibly brought it up. He had been talking about a camping trip he was planning over the weekend with his family.

"You know," I interrupted, "The woods up at Dartmouth are really great for hiking. It's one of the reasons I picked that school. Maybe you could come visit me up there sometime next year?" I had meant the suggestion to be casual and friendly, as everything about our relationship was, but his reaction was not what I expected.

"You're going to Dartmouth?" he asked sharply.

"Yes," I responded, surprised at this hostility. "It's really gorgeous up there. I saw some of the woods on my last visit-"

"I've seen the school," he cut me off, the harshness still lingering in his tone. "You shouldn't go hiking up there by yourself," he quickly added. "It's not very safe."

"Well, I wasn't planning on going by myself!" I laughed, still unnerved by this unexpected aggression. "I meant if _you_ came to visit me, _we_ could go together-"

"I don't want to go up to Dartmouth," he finished brusquely. Then he sighed with an aggravated look on his face. "Why couldn't you just go to a school nearby? I'm sure you could get into Boston University or something-"

"I did get into B.U. I wanted to go to Dartmouth," I replied bitterly. I didn't like that he was judging my choice of where to go to college, it had taken me long enough to decide without his criticism. Besides that, I was one of the only people in the school who had been accepted to an Ivy league college.

His expression changed when he sensed my anger at the direction our conversation was heading. "I know you chose Dartmouth, I'm sorry I said anything." He was done talking, but he still looked into my turquoise eyes like he was trying to say something he couldn't say out loud. Those few seconds he held my gaze were more intimate than if he had been holding my hand, or even wrapping his arms around me. But sooner than even I expected, I broke our gaze and kept walking, asking him about his family camping as if we had never argued. I was always the first to sly away from intimacy. It was safer that way, safer for me.

Other than that day, we didn't talk about college, or anything in the future. It convinced me that he didn't really think of any kind of future, at least any "us" future. That was a comfort.

Yet, during all the weeks of our unwavering friendship, I never awoke to the possibility that Sean was hiding something from me. I suppose in a way, I was the only one he wasn't hiding from, but I didn't acknowledge this reality. I was still living and believing the lie that had convinced everyone else. I was only vaguely aware that there was something different about my friend, but not enough to ever suspect it had nothing to do with the fact that I was the only one in the whole school that he talked to.

***

It was Friday of the first week of February. The day had gone as normal as any day since I had met Sean McNally. It was one of the days he had bought me coffee which I gratefully consumed while talking to him about the book I was reading for English. I don't even remember what book it was.

He walked me to all my classes. I think we talked about the weather. Sean already knew how much I detested snow, and anything cold. He thought it was funny, considering we lived in New England where winter lasts from October to April.

"So you'd prefer to live in Florida where it's warm all the time?" He asked me seriously.

I thought about it, then answered, "No, it's too sunny there. I like the rain, but even when it rains there, it either doesn't last long or it's some form of hurricane and you need to evacuate. No, I wouldn't want Florida," I decided conclusively. "You know, I wouldn't even mind the snow so much if I only had a way to keep warm." I paused, then laughed. "And if it would snow during the week once in a while! Honestly, what's with all these weekend snow storms?" I asked, referring to the predicted storm we'd be getting that weekend. Already into February, and we still hadn't had any snow days because every decent storm had come through on a Friday or Saturday night.

Sean laughed and agreed with me. Everything about him was happy that day. I could tell there was something different about him, something in those golden eyes; like a question that had been there since the day we met had finally been answered, indecision dissolved.

That day he left me with my friends at lunch, waving, as was usual, and he sat with his family. I watched him sit down, and apparently say something that made all three of his siblings alert, and Lisa turned in her seat to stare at me with a fierce gaze.

Since the first day I saw her, I had never looked at Lisa as intently as I did then. Her amber eyes pored through me like lasers and her sugar sweet mouth was puckered in a frown I couldn't duplicate. After holding her leering gaze for only a few seconds I looked down, red in the face. For the first time, I thought of that time that Sean had said Lisa _would_ love me if- If what?

I saw Sean turn to follow his sister's glare, his eyes defensive as he saw me, and pulled Lisa around so that I couldn't receive the wrath of her eyes anymore. I was severely shaken by the nonverbal encounter, but I didn't say anything.

After lunch, I got permission to grab something important from my car. I don't even remember what it was. Sean, always the shadow, came too. When we were walking down the hall, I decided to address him about the odd look I received from his sister.

"So," I began uncertainly. "I noticed that your sister was…looking at me during lunch." The words sounded stupid after I said them, but I couldn't think of another way to phrase what had happened.

Sean rolled his eyes and his brow creased with frustration. "Right, I figured you'd see that. Look, I wouldn't worry about it. Lisa has… issues."

Normally I would have accepted this answer, but something about the cool afternoon pressed me further. "So you didn't say anything about me that might have provoked the death glare?"

Sean looked at me, the crease in his brow still standing, and a frown growing on his face. "Why would you assume I said something bad about you?"

"I didn't!" I defended, "I just didn't know you talked to them about me."

His face relaxed. "Tessa, why would you think I didn't talk to them about you? You're the most important person in my life right now, of course I talk about you!"

His sudden honestly left me stammering and shaking in the winter wind. In just a few seconds, everything that I had held true about our relationship, our strictly _non-romantic_ relationship, was a wobbly mess in front of my eyes. Concern crossed Sean's face, but rather than back track, as had always been the standard route for us when we said something out of line, he pushed forward.

"Look Tessa," he began, backing me up against my car while he leaned against the side with one arm, still careful that we weren't touching, "I have something… _big_ that I want to tell you. Now certainly isn't the time or place to discuss it, but I have full intentions to do so at the next opportunity that presents itself. However, present conditions have made that time a little more elusive than I would have hoped, so I would like you to come with me for a drive this afternoon, right after school, if it is possible."

I was frozen, literally and metaphorically, against the side of my car under the hypnotic gaze of Sean McNally. I did everything I could to not look into his all-too-deep topaz eyes, yet I knew that that newfound contentment was still glimmering in his irises.

"Yes," I said quietly, still shocked that I would agree to anything of the sort. "I'll meet you after school."

The seriousness left Sean's face and he smiled at me joyfully. "I'm glad to hear that." He stood up and walked around my car to wait for me in the middle of the lot.

I realized quickly that I had forgotten what I needed inside and turned back to Sean. I ran over to him, only faintly aware of the sound of a motor on the other side of the parking lot.

"Sean," I called out as I raced over to stand next to him. His eyes were fixed on something down the road. He turned to me with the biggest look of surprise on his face, just as I heard a motor loudly accelerating. I turned my eyes in the same direction to see the Black Mustang, Lisa in the driver's seat, speeding toward the spot where we were standing.

There was no time to run out of the way, I knew that. I also knew that there wasn't anyway that Lisa could slow down the car so that we _wouldn't_ be killed on impact. The final thing I noticed in what I assumed would be the last second of my life: Lisa's eyes were focused on only me, glaring intently as she got closer, a manic smile on her face.

I didn't think of what my life had been like; I didn't think of anything other than the grill of the car that was getting increasingly closer each millisecond. Did time move in slow motion? I suppose it did; otherwise I wouldn't have registered the events that followed.

First, Sean wrapped his arms securely around my waist, and even through layers of sweatshirts and jackets, I could feel the band of his arms, cold as ice. Seconds before the car's impact on our bodies, Sean sprang fifteen feet into the air, still with a secure hold on me, and landed on the other side of the Mustang that had passed underneath us in less than a second. My feet never even felt the ground's impact. I was also aware of the heavy screech of tires as Lisa hit the brakes- after what would have been the point of impact.

I was startled out of my mind. I was supposed to be dead. We both were, yet Sean and I were standing upright in almost the exact same place as we were _before_ the Mustang had charged at us-

"LISA!" Sean bellowed with an anger that was completely alien to me, "WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING?"_

"You wanted her to know, Sean," Lisa spat with equal anger that sounded bizarre with such a high and sweet voice; a tone like burning acid. "Now she knows!" She yelled at Sean's retreating back, for he had picked me up in the icy cradle of his arms and ran me into the school, although run would be an understatement. _Flew_ would be more accurate; He moved so fast that the hallway was a complete blur. I was just instantly standing on the stage of the dark auditorium, Sean's arms on my shoulders while he spoke to me in a calm voice, trying to stop the stammering of words that were trying to spill out of my mouth.

"Tessa, Tessa? Oh, Tessa, you have to listen to me. Listen to me, Okay?" he searched for my eyes that were spilling tears and moving across the floor. He finally found my gaze and looked into my watery eyes, trying to evaporate the terror that resided there. "Tessa, just listen to me, Okay? You are alright, you aren't in any danger. I'm making sure of that. Lisa was just joking around. I'll explain everything to you, just like I promised I would. Trust me. Meet me this afternoon and I'll explain everything. It'll be Okay. Tessa, are you listening to me? _Everything is alright_, _breathe_."

I followed his command and heaved in a painful breathe. In seconds I was on the floor with my head between my knees, heaving out each breathe with extreme effort and rocking back and forth as the tears of terror flowed out my closed eyes. I felt Sean lift his hands off me slowly, and heard him step back from my curled figure.

"Just meet me this after school, I promise I'll explain everything. Just trust me." I looked up just in time to see him run down the long hallway at an unearthly speed, past the curious and fearful eyes of Scarlett and Roger who looked at me, curled on the stage, then at the direction where Sean had retreated, and then they too disappeared at astronomical speeds.

Shaking and stuttering, I crawled off the stage to look out the door in the direction they had all run, but collapsed into a heap next to the grand piano instead. There I sat for a solid hour, crying until my eyes were dry, and heaving air until my breathing was calm.

I stood up. I looked at the top of the piano where a paperback copy of the book _Twilight_ had been left by some choral student. I reached for the book, and flipped it over in my hands, feeling the cool sleekness of the cover, finally flipping it so that it was face up in my hands. I looked at the pale forearms that grasped at the round, red apple on the cover, and I knew.

It all made sense. The ultra pale skin, the strange amber eyes, the impassable beauty. The remarkable reflexes, the incredible hearing. Why none of the McNallys ever ate or drank anything at lunch. Why I had never seen either Sean or Lisa actively participate in gym class. Why the family had only shown up during the coldest and cloudiest part of the year. Why none of them looked like sophomores or juniors in high school. Why Sean's whole body went rigid whenever someone came up to him to talk to him, or just pass by, why we never touched…

Sean had asked to see me outside of school for the first time since we had met, to tell me something big… and seconds later his sister tried to run us down with a car, but neither of us had a scratch to tell of the accident…

I knew Sean McNally's secret.

**Bum Bum Baaaaahhhhhh.... Review! You know you want to....**


	7. Chapter 7 Real Life vs Fairy Tales

**A/N: Heehee, last time we were with Tessa and Sean, a rather exciting event sent Tessa's very normal life in a tailspin towards the lives she'd read about in her favorite books. Now we get to find out where fact meets fiction! You should note that this is how I imagine the world of _Twilight_ would collide with real life and I changed some facts on purpose to show that there's always a difference between the books and history. Please don't be mad at me! This is pure creativity, not me making some kind of bizzare statement about Stephenie Meyer or her wonderful books. I hope you like it! P.S. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! I have ONE awesome dedicated reviewer who is absolutely wonderful. The rest of you... be courageous! Leave a note! I'm nice, I swear!**

_Sean had asked to see me outside of school for the first time since we had met, to tell me something big… and seconds later his sister tried to run us down with a car, but neither of us had a scratch to tell of the accident…_

_I knew Sean McNally's secret._

****

Chapter 7

Real Life vs. Fairy Tales

I suddenly ran for the door, book still in my hand, and raced to the school parking lot, not even caring if the final bell had rung yet.

Sean immediately pulled up to the door in my car- I hadn't recalled giving him the key- and threw open the passenger door.

"Get in."

I flung myself into the car gracefully, and before I even closed the door we were speeding out of the parking lot.

"Although my driving record is impeccable, I would prefer if you buckled up," Sean said calmly as we flew down the back streets of Hardgrave at speeds my car had never seen before.

I ignored him and instead flung the paperback copy of _Twilight_ onto the dashboard.

"This," I said, trembling still evident in my voice, "Is _supposed_ to be a work of _fiction_."

Sean looked over to glance at the cover of the book and snorted.

"Tessa," he said patronizingly, "Not all fiction is conceived from the depths of a human mind. In this case," he indicated the book on the dashboard, "The author is simply retelling the story of Bella Cullen, and with a rather strong poetic license, if I do remember."

I was still shocked. "What do you mean _retelling?_"

"Tessa, will you listen to what I'm saying before you question me?" Sean answered sharply. "Bella Cullen, Edward Cullen, they're real people! Well, I suppose if you consider us people," he shot me a wary sideways glance. "Bella went to college with, oh, what's her name-" He checked the cover of the novel with one hand, "-this, Stephenie Meyer, and I suppose they became close enough friends that Bella felt it safe to tell her about our existence. A few years later, Ms. Meyer decided to take her college girlfriend's life and make a bestseller _fiction_ book." His voice was acidic as he said the word _fiction_.

I took this information into consideration for a minute and my mouth finally formed the words that I had been struggling to find.

"So, it's all… all of it is, _real?_"

"Yes!" Sean cried out, exasperated at my clearly slower-than-usual mind. "If you mean 'did a vampire really fall in love with a human girl and change her so that they could be together forever' then yes, it's all real. Happens all the time, I'm sure."

My head started spinning again as the words sunk in. Vampires. Vampires are real. Sean was-

"You're a vampire?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

He didn't answer me at first. He stared out at the road, though not seeming to see the yellow lines and black pavement. Then he turned to look at me.

"You have to know this Tessa, I would never hurt you, I couldn't-" He stopped mid-sentence, and confusion clouded his face while he searched for the words. "You are… different than other humans, you don't smell the same-" He stopped, shaking his head again. "I'm not explaining this right at all."

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" I asked timidly.

He had pulled over into the parking lot of the baseball field across the street from my house. There were four baseball fields closely located in an open space, and a ring of woods all around the perimeter. Sean got out of the car and began sauntering toward the edge of the woods without a moment of hesitation. I paused, not as willing to follow him through the light layer of snow that covered the field or the bitter cold wind. After a small squeak of resentment slipped through my lips, I raced out to follow him, shivering against the chilling air.

As soon as he hit the edge of the trees he slowed to a pace I could keep up with, then began what I think of as the most life-changing conversation I ever experienced.

"My whole family and I are vampires. I guess you figured that out after Lisa's lovely stunt this afternoon," He rolled his eyes in disgust. "At least that was her intent. We are one of the "vegetarian vampire" families you heard about from those books. Most covens are nowadays. The Cullens really changed how our kind lives. They became fairly well known in the late thirties when they took on the Volturi, our former leaders-" his tone reflected that he didn't think much of their 'leading.' "-And so the lifestyle spread. It took a few years for them to really get a control on their lives- I believe it was around the same time as one of your World Wars, a good time to be less suspicious, as horrible as the situation was- but by the fifties, most covens were agreeing that life was better if they _weren't_ monsters, and many found that they could form relationships with humans as strong as the relationships with their own kind. However, it's still difficult for many of us. Most can only feel truly comfortable around _certain_ humans, like yourself." He turned to look at me and I felt my mouth drop open in disbelief.

"_Me?_ What's so special about me?"

"Well, I guess it's not you in particular, but rather your blood. It has no scent." He checked my face again to make sure I was following his lead. "There are a few humans like you, and our kind always find it easier to be around you because there isn't the same _temptation_-" I grimaced at the word, "-as with other humans. Without the scent, drinking your blood would be about as satisfying as drinking powdered milk, without the water. It would never quench the thirst." I could feel myself shaking, but no longer from the cold.

I stopped walking and grabbed the trunk of a tree to steady myself. My body was now shaking with a fear I hadn't anticipated, even when I made the conclusion on my own. Sean sensed that I had stopped and turned around to face me, a deep look of sadness on his face when he saw my shivering figure. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye.

"No, Tessa, don't you see?" His voice was thick with concern. "I could never hurt you, there'd be no need. Since I can't smell you, I can act _normal _around you, like any other human being." He laughed lightly. "That's why I nearly attacked you the first day we met. I was so surprised to see you, my natural instincts took over for that brief second. It took me a while to realize how important you could be in my life. That's why you alone are my friend, why I don't talk to anyone else- I don't want anyone else but you!" He stood in front of me, pleading, agony tearing apart his whole body. He was shaking as much as I was, but with pain and anger, rather than fear.

"How could you say that?" I whispered. "How could you say there's no way you could hurt me? You never touch me, and I know why! You're afraid your strength alone would hurt me! Your sister tried to _kill_ me!" I screamed the words, but at the same time, I knew there was no meaning behind them. Lisa knew that Sean wouldn't let the car run me down, she had just been trying to lash out at Sean, angry that he planned on confiding in me with their secret. The anger _I _was feeling was toward the way his body was inclining toward mine, suggesting something was between us that I knew I didn't feel. Did I?

"Yes," he said in surrender. "Lisa… she is not very supportive in my choice of friends, to put it mildly. There's something you don't know about her, though. Her secret has been betrayed before, and she lost someone very important to her."

I looked up at him suddenly to judge his expression; it was the same one he had the day he had proposed I should meet his family.

"In the last place we lived, we had just settled down, really built a reputation for ourselves in the town, and we thought that for once we would be able to stay maybe more than just a few years. All of us hoped too much," he leaned his head against his hand and let out a heavy sigh. "Of course, back then, there were seven of us."

I was too absorbed in my own thoughts to realize what he meant by those words. "Oh!" I squealed, jumping when I realized his covert message. "Your other brother, the one who died!"

"Yes, Joseph was our brother, and Lisa's mate- they had been together since the fifties. He was much more relaxed around the humans who lived in town, and quickly befriended many of them. He believed in co-existence enough tell them our secret. I think he was hoping for a future where we could live harmoniously together. Joseph was always very optimistic." I could sense from his tone that this was where the story went downhill.

"One day a strange group of vampires passed through and decided to make their next… _meal_ one of Joseph's friends. He cared about them enough to step in the way. Neither he nor his friends survived."

The pain was so evident in his face, I couldn't move, not even to reach out to comfort him.

"Naturally," He continued, "Lisa was devastated. She's never going to get over that pain. It's the worst kind imaginable, to lose your soul mate. And as a result, she'll never trust humans with our secret again, never form any kind of relationship with them. That's why she decided to lash out at me this afternoon, and you, unfortunately, became a part of that. Believe me, I tried my best to convince her that you wouldn't be the same danger to us as Joseph's friends, that you were different, but she didn't believe me. She doesn't understand the way I feel about you-"

I automatically flinched when he said these words. There were just too many feelings I didn't want to feel, feelings I had sworn to shut out of my life.

Sean apparently didn't notice my reaction because he continued his declaration of sentiments. "Since the first day I met you, and I realized that you were different, that I could be myself around you, I've let myself fall in love with you. I never said anything because I didn't want you to return that feeling unless you knew who I was, who I _really_ am. Finally, I couldn't stop myself, so I told my family that I was going to trust you with our secret. I want to be a part of your life, and you're welcome to be a part of mine."

The entire suggestion was so formal, and bizarre, and absolutely nothing that I could have expected.

Sean loved me. The only comfort I had out of our entire relationship was that I had absolutely no attachment or obligation towards him, yet here he was, forcing exactly that upon me without even a thought. No matter what, I couldn't go back to the way things were. I was part of his secret, I was part of his life already. There was nothing that could change that.

But did I really feel indifferent about him? Could I have been blind to a secret love I had been harboring through all our weeks of friendship? Is it possible to gradually fall in love with someone and not even be aware of it? I had spent so much time making sure that I _wasn't_ in love with him, I didn't open myself up to the possibility that here was one person I could love. I already trusted him, to an extent. There was no way he could be closer to me than he already was. Was I really sacrificing so much to love him back?

What was it that Carly had said about finding love? That it took some time to get used to. Perhaps I had to get used to the idea of love, and then maybe… maybe I could love Sean. Maybe I could love him the same way that Carly loved Mike, or that my mom loved my father. All love takes a little effort, right?

Sean was still staring at me intently while I pondered the predicament in my head.

"I-" I stuttered, still frozen by the cold, "-I need time to think."

I ran back out the woods to my car. Sean didn't follow me at first. It wasn't exactly a long drive home, as my house was right across the street. I pulled into the driveway and walked into my house. No sooner had I closed the door than I heard a knocking and someone shouting my name.

"Tessa! Tessa, I'm sorry, I should have waited before I sprung all that information on you. Please, can we just talk a little more?"

I threw open the door to glare into Sean McNally's beautiful amber eyes.

"I don't know what to say, Sean. I'm trying to understand where we are now!" I yelled at the closed door like I couldn't see his face behind the glass panes of the window. I didn't want to see that new emotion that was spread across his face, something resembling a lovesick fool.

"You don't have to say anything. I just want to be with you, now that I know that's all I want to do for the rest of my existence. It's hard for me to do anything else passively."

I sighed, frustration creeping onto my forehead. "If we're going to talk about anything, boundary issues better be one of the main points to cover." He stared at my frown with confusion until I smiled a grin of surrender. "Alright, come in. At least it's warm in here. We'll talk."

Sean returned the smile and followed me inside. Immediately, Hugo, my ever protective watch dog, launched out of his dog bed in a fest of howls and barks.

"Hugo! Stop it!" I screamed, shocked at his unnatural outburst. Hugo had never been particularly friendly to any boys I brought home, but this level of aggression was unfamiliar.

"Don't worry, it's not him, it's me," Sean stated mildly. "I've never met a dog who didn't hate me."

I quickly led us upstairs to my room and pulled the door closed so that Hugo's howls were slightly muffled. I then turned to face Sean, who's god-like appearance seemed terribly out of place in my disarray of a room. He didn't seem to mind however, and he casually took a place on the folding bench I had seated in front of my keyboard situated in the corner of my room.

"So…" I began, unnerved by the awkwardness of the situation. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well," started Sean, "To begin with, I'm sure you have some questions about my way of life. It's not every day you meet a vampire." He smiled a wide grin, but caught my glance toward the bookshelf where I had all four copies of the _Twilight_ books. "I see you're already well read on the basics."

"It's all true, then, what's in those books?"

"For the most part," Sean affirmed. "The incredible speed and strength, the ice-cold and rock-hard skin, the appetite…" he winced a tiny bit, "as well as the diet. Although, the events that those books document are a little out dated. The Cullens' days of excitement happened quite some time ago, back in the thirties and forties, like I said. Nowadays I believe they have made a permanent stay somewhere in the peaceful woods of Northern Quebec."

"All of them?" I asked, shocked. I wracked my brain, trying to dig up the knowledge I had obsessed over during Winter break, the names and characters…

"Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Halo and Seth. My family fought next to them in the last stand against the Volturi, but I suppose you wouldn't have heard about that."

"Wait a second, who are those last two? Halo and Seth?"

"Of course, you wouldn't have heard of them. I believe our author changed Halo's name to apply better to her story. Halo is Rosalie's daughter."

"You mean Bella's," I corrected.

"No," Sean said sternly, "Rosalie's. This is where the books diverged from real life, I suppose." He sighed in frustration and continued. "In the early thirties, both Emmett and Edward found their soul mates in the unlikely humans that lived in their town. While Bella had particularly fragrant blood, just as those books describe," he pointed to the books where they sat on my shelf, "Rosalie had blood like yours, that lacked any fragrance at all. Emmett fell in love with her, and they had a child before he turned Rose into a vampire like himself. Bella was already a vampire at that point; she had convinced Edward to change her a few years before hand. Of course," he added, "That turned out to be very handy in a few months time when the Volturi descended in investigation of the alleged immortal child, and Bella's presence alone discouraged them from destroying the entire coven and their werewolf friends."

"Werewolves exist too?" I asked suddenly, curiosity turning to excitement.

"Yes. Seth is a werewolf who joined their clan. He was a good friend of Edward's for many years; they had bonded over some matter in earlier days, and he imprinted on Halo, Rosalie's half-vampire daughter, so the wolves were also at aid when the battle against the Volturi was brewing. After all the trouble was over, Seth stayed with the Cullens to spend the rest of his life with Halo."

"I thought it was Jacob who imprinted on the half-vampire," I muttered in confusion.

"Jacob?" Sean asked, "Jacob Black? Why would he imprint on Halo? He was in love with Bella! Still is, as a matter of fact."

"What? Seriously?"

"Of course," Sean said almost mockingly, "Rule number one of _fictional _happy endings: no loose ends." He laughed lightly in a tone I didn't like at all. "You'll have to learn, Tessa, that real life doesn't always have happy endings, and Jacob Black is a prime example."

"What happened to him?"

"Well, I don't know the story word for word, but from what Edward told me, Jacob was in love with Bella before she was changed. The wolf believed in some prophecy that said he would save his soul mate from a fate worse than death. This, he naturally assumed, meant he was to save Bella from becoming a vampire. Obviously," Sean said this with such disdain that I was automatically resentful, "he failed to do that, and he ran off into the wilderness rather than face the fact that his 'life's purpose' was a wild goose chase." Sean laughed cynically.

"Why are you laughing?" I nearly shouted at him. "That isn't funny!" I was so angry that he could find humor in the unfortunate circumstance of another. At the same time, I felt an immense sympathy for the wolf-man I didn't even know. Someone who was probably running through the woods, almost as lost as I felt right now…

"Tessa," Sean said in disbelief, "He's just a werewolf."

"And you're just a vampire."

Sean looked almost amused at my defense, then changed his attitude. "I'm sorry, I guess I still hold some of the old rivalry. I'll try to behave myself. If it's any comfort, I hear that he still checks in with the Cullens now and then. They're on good terms."

I rolled my eyes and decided to move on with the conversation.

"So what else is there to talk about? What's the best part about being a vampire?"

Sean smiled a devilish smile. "Running, hands down. Would you like to see it?"

Recalling the literary images of Bella hanging onto Edward, flying through a tangle of woods, I quickly declined.

"Umm, no. Definitely not."

Sean frowned. "Tessa, I already promised, I'm not going to hurt you. Why don't you believe me?"

"You're not going to hurt me? Prove it, touch me! Hold my hand, swing my arm, do something without breaking my bones!"

Sean's frown turned more severe. "Well, I'm sure I _could_ do it, if I really concentrated." His brow furrowed as he stared at my hand that was hanging in the air between us. "It would be like touching a rose, being sure to be careful, not rip the petal."

My breath stopped as he stood up and walked over to me, and carefully reached out for my outstretched hand.

"Tessa," he said calmly before our fingers touched, "Could you please stop shaking?" I hadn't even realized that I _was_ shaking. He looked into my eyes and whispered, "Trust me."

In that second, I didn't trust him. I didn't trust anything but bravery and physics.

Our fingers touched. I immediately felt the ice of his skin, cold to the touch. He brushed his fingers past mine twice, then intertwined them until our hands were clutched together. It was like grasping a snowball. He gently tugged me towards him, off my bed where I had been sitting, and walked me towards him. Our clenched hands in the air, he used his other hand to wrap around my lower back and pulled me even closer towards him. From all angles, it would have looked like we were in a dancing position. I shivered.

"You see?" He whispered, his cold, sweet breath on my face for the first time. "Nothing to fear. I will never hurt you."

"I don't think that is the problematic case on our horizon right now," I barely whispered, but he heard me anyway.

"What do you mean?"

My voice was stuck in my throat, and my hands were shaking in Sean's cold grip. As it was every time I was forced to say the thing that I needed to say the most.

"Sean, I see now that you apparently have some degree of… feelings for me. I have to be honest; I don't think they are feelings I can return. Not because you're a vampire or because of your family, but simply because I've never thought of you that way. I don't know how to love someone, at least not like you do. I don't think it's what I was made for. I've never been able to really love anyone."

Rather than pull away from me like I expected, in humiliation, shock, or even disgust, Sean remained calm as ever, and to my surprise, he even smiled.

"Of course you've never loved anyone before; you're special. You were made to love under extraordinary circumstances. It'll only be a matter of time before-"

"Before what? Before I realize I'm actually madly in love with you? I don't think you understand Sean, I _don't _love you. I think I would have known by now if I did."

He kept smiling. "Tessa, you haven't known me, the _real_ me, that is, for more than an hour. You couldn't know if you were in love with me or not. As it is, I believe that you are in love with me. It'll just take time for you to understand that. That's how it always is in real life. Just allow me the time to prove it." He was so determined, he didn't even give me the chance to argue. There were never equal negotiations when Sean was involved.

**REVIEW... JUST DO IT. Every review I don't get is another tear I cry. Do you really want to make me cry? Really? **


	8. Chapter 8 Two Smiles, One Cup of Coffee

**A/N: Yes, I posted two chapters today because I feel slightly guilty, having the whole story written and all, and only posting one chapter at a time... so if you want more (since I have all the chapters ready to go) you should PROBABLY review and tell me... just a suggestion... :)**

**P.S. I had to repost this twice because strange things kept showing up where I did not put them! Sorry for the craziness there. Keep reading!**

**Chapter 8**

**Two Smiles, One Cup of Coffee**

Sean only agreed to leave my house Friday under the condition that I met him the next day at the end of my driveway. At first I thought this was a bizarre request, but I scrambled out into the cold Saturday morning nevertheless, and he was already in the driver's seat of my car, ready to go.

I begrudgingly let myself into the passenger side while mumbling, "You know you're not insured to drive this car."

Sean laughed, "My reflexes are a thousand times better than yours and I've never gotten a speeding ticket. Do you really want to argue about who drives?"

"No," I muttered, turning the heating vents so they warmed my frozen toes.

"So, what would you like to do?" He asked cordially. "I admittedly don't spend much time with humans, so I'm a little behind on what the usual morning activities are."

"Sleeping, usually," I mumbled. "Though I suppose breakfast would be nice."

Sean nodded and pulled into the parking lot of the town diner. We entered the crowded dining room to a wave of heat and the smell of bacon. I smiled wide as my stomach grumbled in reaction to the floating smells of breakfast food. Sean wrinkled his nose.

We sat down at a corner booth. The noise in the diner was loud enough that we could talk and not be overheard. I quickly looked over the menu and decided what I wanted so that I could focus all attention on Sean, who hadn't even touched his menu.

"Aren't you going to get anything?" I asked

Sean raised his eyebrows. "No…"

"You mean you don't eat!" He just smiled and shook his head. "Not at all? Wow, you really take your diet seriously…"

Sean laughed as he told me, "It's not exactly a _choice_, Tess, it's what I am."

"So when was the last time you went out for breakfast?" I asked quietly, a smile playing on my face as I observed the lingering grimace on Sean's.

"Back in the sixties. Roger convinced me go with him every morning to the local diner in town so he could court one of the waitresses there. It was Scarlett, of course."

"So he met her when she was still human?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. He fell in love with her easily; followed her everywhere, but he never told her about us. Then, one day when she was walking home, a car swerved on the road and hit her, a hit and run. She was going to die anyway, so he made the choice to change her rather than let her go. They've been happy ever since."

"It's hard not to be, when you're around him," I commented.

"Yes," Sean smiled, "Roger has a special gift. He is _always_ happy. It can get quite sickening sometimes, I assure you. Even after Joseph died…" He paused. "Roger understood that we needed time to mourn, so he left us for some time. Lisa can't stand him. Of course, she's not very friendly to anyone these days."

"Don't try," he urged me. "She's not in a good place in her life. I don't expect I'll ever see her smile again."

"Even if you live forever?" I teased.

"I am going to live forever, so I wouldn't expect so."

"Wait, you're really going to live forever?" I asked, thrown off guard.

"That's what we expect," he answered, "Although, Carlisle Cullen is doing so research with chromosomes to see if there is an expected age limit. Did you know that humans could have a life span of more than two hundred and fifty years?"

"Yes, I think I heard that in biology once."

"Well, we're trying to do the same kind of test on vampire chromosomes," he continued. "Although it is proving to be a rather difficult project, some theories expect that the vampire life span would be somewhere close to a thousand times longer."

"Two hundred and fifty thousand years?" I asked, eyes wide.

"Yes, that is our estimate. Aided by exercise and nutrition, of course," he joked, "and a kind disposition, seeing as no one lives long with a vendetta. It's just a theory. Not even anyone of our kind has lived that long yet. Although some of the older ones are beginning to look a little haggard."

"Hard to imagine," I said, appraising his good looks.

"It is, isn't it?" He smiled.

Just then, probably the last person I wanted to see came into my view.

"Oh god, no," I groaned.

"What is it?" Sean asked, concerned.

"Barney. I forgot he works here on Saturdays."

Barney saw me and immediately headed toward our table, only noticing Sean when it was too late to pretend like he wasn't making a beeline directly for us.

"Hey, guys," he said awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable in his current situation.

"Hi, Barney," I managed to say in a convincingly pleased tone.

He smiled at me, then opted to ignore Sean.

"Anything I can get for you, Tessa?" he asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I'll have the Saturday special," I answered, handing him my menu.

He continued looking at me as he said, "Anything else for your table?" He was taking the whole Sean-thing a little harder than I would have expected.

"Yes," Sean said clearly. "The table would like some coffee."

I stifled a laugh as Barney's smile turned to a frown and he cleared out of the area to place my order. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sean and I both started laughing.

Finally composing myself, "You could have been I little nicer," I said, feigning annoyance. "It's not like you needed anything anyway."

"He doesn't like me very much, does he?" Sean continued to laugh.

"No," I said, cheeks turning a little red. "It's not you, it's the fact that you're with me. I think he's jealous."

"No doubt," he said, smile wide on his face.

"It doesn't help," I added, "that the first time I ever came to visit him at work I brought you."

"It certainly doesn't," Sean agreed, though not in any tone that would suggest he felt sorry in any way.

"So," I said, changing the subject, "Speaking of special talents, which we weren't, but I'm going to bring it up; do vampires really have special talents, like Edward and Alice Cullen? Can you read minds or something?"

Sean pursed his lips and answered, "Yes, yes, and no."

I pouted. "No special talents?"

"Sadly, no. I'm pretty normal, well, as normal as I can be," he smiled a wide grin to show his shin white teeth. "My whole family is fairly normal. Well, I suppose Roger's happiness could be considered a talent, though it's more of a permanent condition. And Lisa used to have a special sense, but since Joseph died, it hasn't been as apparent."

"Really, what could she do?"

"Well, I guess she could see the future, but it wasn't exactly the same as Alice Cullen. Alice sees what will happen, whereas Lisa saw what needed to happen."

I could feel the confusion forming on my face. "I… don't understand."

"Few of us do, don't worry. How can I explain this?" He paused and played with a straw wrapper while he mulled it over. "OK. Imagine you really want to fly to Florida, but you don't know which flight to take. Lisa would see which one you should take so that you would get there safely and be the happiest."

"I guess that's pretty useful. Why do you think it doesn't work anymore?"

"I don't know, but Alison believe it has something to do with the nature of her ability. Lisa would see what choices would make you happiest, but after Joseph died, nothing would make her happy anymore. So the visions stopped."

"That's so sad," I sighed. "How do you know it doesn't work anymore?"

"Well," Sean said thoughtfully, "She didn't see you coming." He forced a smile. "Let's talk abut something happier. For example, Barney is about to come and ignore me for another few minutes."

I couldn't help but grin at Sean's teasing manner. I tried to muster a little sympathy for Barney, but I just couldn't manage it.

Within seconds, sure as rain, Barney was by our table, setting down my plate, and strategically ignoring Sean, as predicted.

"And your coffee, Tess," he said, placing a pot of coffee in the center of the table, and one mug in front of me. I stifled a laugh, knowing that what Barney thought was intentional discourtesy did not offend Sean in the slightest.

I just smiled my best charming smile and said, "Thanks Barney, we'll let you know if we need anything."

"My break's in fifteen minutes," he said hopefully. "I could hang out with you at ten thirty."

"Actually, Barney, I'm probably gonna scarf this down and hit the road, we have plans." I tried not to smile too much as I said this.

"Right, well, okay," Barney mumbled as he went off to grab our check.

Sean looked seriously at my plate of food and said, "Actually, Tess, you probably should work on that meal pretty quickly. I do have some plans for us, and we wouldn't want to be late."

"What kind of plans? Where are you taking me?" I asked, but started on my meal anyway.

"That's for me to know, and you to find out." He smiled a crooked smile that sent shivers down my spine, and he lightly brushed his hand across mine.

Ten minutes later, we were back in my car, Sean once again in the driver's seat, and the mystery destination was revealed.

"I want you to meet my family. Now that you're in on the secret, there's nothing to stand between all of us."

I nearly choked at his words. "You want me to meet your family? Are you including your homicidal sister in that category?"

"How many times do I have to tell you? I won't let anything bad happen to you! As far as the typical dangers are concerned, you are safe from my family, safer than anyone!"

"That doesn't exclude if they like me or not."

Sean turned to look at me, his eyes burning with emotion. "Tessa, I love you. So will they. You are part of the family now, there's no way they couldn't love you."

I didn't say anything.

**Review... oh look! There's the review button, right there! Calling your name! Isn't it a nifty looking button? You should definitely push it, see what happens! Maybe a little dancing monkey will show up on the screen. I know what you're thinking, "No way, I've done reviews before, that would never happen," but how will you know unless you try? Huh? Answer me that! Thanks for reading, as always!**


	9. Chapter 9 When Your Heart Stops Beating

**A/N: Hey! I got a pretty good response for yesterday's chapters (which made me REALLY REALLY HAPPY!!!!), I hope the trend continues! I already updated the playlist and I'm still open to any suggestions you guys might have! I lay out a little more "history" in this chapter, so same disclaimer from yesterday applies, it's just me being creative! Hope you like it! Stay tuned for more tomorrow!**

**Chapter 9**

**When Your Heart Stops Beating**

We drove for some time, until I no longer recognized the roads, yet Sean assured me we were still in Hardgrave. The usually packed suburban houses had dispersed into thicker forest than I was used to. Sean turned onto a dirt road that wound through the trees. My car groaned a little at the bumpy road, but persevered nevertheless. Finally we came upon a small wooden house set in an oasis of forest. The shades of green and brown in the trees bounced off the wooden house and created the perfect image of comfort in fantasy. The lawn all around the house was filled with greens that I assumed would bloom lovely colors when the air warmed enough. Right then, however, the air was still frigid enough that I could see my breath. I pulled my coat closer around myself.

"Well," Sean said lightly, "This is home."

"It looks very…" I searched for an appropriate word, "…woodsy."

Sean laughed at my attempt. "Harper is a nature lover. He's just waiting for summer so he can plant some flowers around here; I doubt all this plain green and brown will satisfy him for long, but we couldn't exactly move to Florida. Your New England is fortunate to have a steady cloud cover for the majority of the year; it's easier for us that way. We can go to school, go out during most days, not have to wait for nightfall…"

"So, does your skin really look like diamonds when you're in the sun?" I asked.

"I think I will let you be the judge."

Hmm. So apparently we would be spending time in sun soon…

The house was a two story Cape house with natural wooden siding and a honey colored door that matched the shutters and little window boxes that were currently under a layer of ice left over from the last snowstorm. A two car garage of the same styling was attached to the right side of the house. Out of one of the three dormer windows I saw a sparkling, pale figure staring down at us crossing the frozen lawn. A flick of long black hair told me it was Lisa before I had identified her face.

About twenty feet away from the house, the front door flew open and Scarlett dashed out at an inhuman speed.

"Finally!" She burst, "We've only been waiting forever!"

I had to blink a few times to register her movements. Not only was she not limiting herself to any burdensome human velocity, but her beauty was such that to look directly at her almost hurt my eyes. The distorted light that filtered through the thick clouds over head bounced off her pale skin in the most attractive patterns. There just wasn't any part of her that wasn't beautiful.

She stopped short in her strides toward us, her face confused.

"I really can't smell her! It's incredible! It's like there's no one there, just the image…"

"Like a ghost!" Roger leaned out of the open door, his grin wide. "Boo!"

Roger and two other people I didn't recognize except for their pale skin and unrivaled beauty followed out the door and gathered around us on the lawn.

"Hello, Tessa," the woman said amiably. "We've been looking forward to meeting you! I am Alison, Sean's adopted mother."

"And I am Harper. It's a pleasure to meet you."

The couple stood close, choosing not to extend hands in greeting, a nicety I was glad for, as my frozen fingers weren't likely to make an kind of good impression with a handshake. Alison was fairly tall, probably around five eleven, if my estimations were right. I had always considered myself fairly tall at five seven, but I was literally shadowed in Alison's presence. She had stylishly short mahogany brown hair that managed to emphasize her height even more. Her husband was shorter, though it wasn't hard to be, and he had cropped light red hair. Like the rest of their family, their eyes glowed amber, a color I was learning to trust more and more.

Roger worked his way around the crowd that was forming around me to weave his fingers through Scarlett's. The gesture was unacknowledged, like it was more normal than breathing.

"You'll have to excuse the baby's impatience," he chortled, kissing Scarlett's cheek, "She's been up all night just waiting for you to show up."

"And I bet that really wore her out," Sean laughed sarcastically.

"Oh, stop talking about me like I'm not even here," Scarlett whined, cringing away from Roger's affections for the time being. "I was just excited. Can you blame me? It's the first time in fifty years I've had a new friend!"

I smiled at her feebly. The cold was getting to me quicker than the others, but of course, their skin already felt frozen.

"Umm…" I whispered, my voice shaking, "…I don't suppose we can go inside? It's a little chilly out-"

"Oh my goodness! Of course," Alison said abruptly. "Silly vampires, forgetting how cold it is, you must be freezing! Let's get you inside," she hurried to move everyone indoors.

We entered an open foyer that was simply decorated. Mainly light colors, creams, yellows and blues, decorated the walls, and a nicely modeled staircase led to the second floor where I heard a door slam closed simultaneously as we walked in the door.

"You don't have to hide up there like a bat in the attic, Leece," Roger spoke gently, as if she were standing right in front of us. "Sean wasn't exaggerating. I can't smell her at all!"

There was a moment of silence and everyone's face but my own turned to a frown. No one chose to inform me why, so I prodded, "What is it…?"

Sean looked at me and quickly changed his expression to a forced smile. "Nothing, don't worry about it." And he pulled me into the living room where several comfy-looking chairs were gathered for a sitting area, but a large, relaxed wingback by the electric fire place particularly caught my attention. It was exactly where Sean led me, and I sat down, warming up immediately by the flames.

None of the others seemed at all uncomfortable in the current setting, like literally nothing _could_ bother them. Not the temperature, or my presence. In fact, if I watched closely, their movements were at a velocity they never would have used in normal situations, like school. It was as if the fact that I was a human, not a fellow vampire, didn't register in their reflexes. They were comfortable to just be themselves.

"Is there anything I can get for you, dear?" Alison asked. "Coffee or tea?"

"Oh, no thank you," I responded automatically. "I just ate, actually."

"Lovely," she said, her gaze dropping just a little. I glanced through the gap between her and Harper into the kitchen where I saw a tea pot and china all set up, steam rising from the lid, set on the counter, in case I had said yes.

"Then again," I said, "I might like some tea in a few minutes, when I've warmed up some more."

Her face perked up instantly at my request, "Of course, after you've warmed up."

Sean gave me a knowing look, but I just smiled back innocently.

"So," Harper began, taking a seat across from me, "Sean's told us a lot about you. He says you play the French Horn?"

"Yes, I do. That's how we met, actually." I felt odd, making small talk with vampires. I wasn't sure how to behave around them in all honesty. They all just watched me, expectantly, like I would break out into song and dance at any moment. Of course, I could have been the most interesting thing they had seen in years. I sort of doubted it, however.

"I've heard her playing," Scarlett commented. "She's pretty good, for a human. Almost as good as Annoying, over here." She gave Sean a playful nudge, who pinched her right back. "You should know, Tessa, back in the seventies, Sean decided there was nothing more he wanted to do than get accepted to the New York Symphony Orchestra. It didn't matter that he had never played the horn in his life; he picked one up and practiced for a solid month, not taking any breaks-" she paused, "-well, except for a few crucial hunting trips- and he made it in. He lost interest in the orchestra within weeks-"

"For which we all nearly killed him!" Roger laughed. "You have no idea how annoying it is to hear him practice that thing for a month _straight!_ Cause it's not like he ever got tired of it!"

"-But he kept up his musical interest," Scarlett finished. "It's stuck with him ever since."

"And stuck with us too!" Roger exclaimed. "As in, he had to learn _every_ instrument before I could go one night without hearing a trumpet, oboe, viola or harmonica."

I laughed. "Wow, that must have been _really _terrible."

"Thanks," Sean said sarcastically. "You know, as a fellow musician, you're supposed to be on my side."

"Hey, not even _I_ would practice for that long. I don't care if you think it's cause I'm human or something, but that kind of dedication is insane."

Everyone laughed, and I felt a little more at ease.

"We love Sean's music, we really do," Harper assured me.

"Yeah, ok," Sean retorted. "Don't even pretend like you weren't in on the conspiracy to steal my saxophones."

"Dude, I'm sorry," Roger chortled, "but there is _nothing_ more annoying than hearing a saxophone for a week straight."

"They're in a better place now," Alison assured him.

I smiled at the banter that went back and forth.

Alison reoffered me a cup of tea, and I accepted politely, following her to the kitchen. The rest of the family drifted off to different parts of the house. Roger and Harped contentedly sitting in the living room watching a football game on the mounted flat screen television above the fireplace. It sounded like Scarlett had gone upstairs. I could hear her singing a pretty, wordless tune, her voice the sweetest soprano I had ever heard. Whether she was going to try to reason with Lisa or just go about her business, I wasn't sure. I wasn't about to ask, either.

Sean followed me like a magnet, every so often placing a hand on my shoulder of knee, as if they didn't want to leave my skin. This didn't thrill me, as his touch was ice cold, as always. However, I had a warn cup of tea to counter the coolness of his fingers.

Alison stood with us in the kitchen, chatting lightly about how the family came together.

"For the longest time it was just Sean and I. He was my first friend to this new life. We met Harper around the turn of the century, and I fell in love with him in an instant." She turned to smile at the back of her husband's head. "And not long after, Roger came into our lives. We met Lisa during the fight against the Volturi, and she became part of our family as well. Scarlett's always been the baby, of course."

I heard the beautiful singsong voice upstairs called out "Not anymore!"

Alison literally glowed with happiness when she talked about her family, but there was something that seemed off about the way she spoke, almost as if it was staged. If I were to put an age to her beautiful features, it would be late twenties, early thirties. If she had never gotten the chance to have her own family in life, then this must be the closest thing to a remedy. Surely this must be the family she always wanted, what was most important to her? I didn't follow her too carefully to pinpoint what it was that disturbed me, but I did notice that she never mentioned Joseph when she talked about their history.

"How did you all become vampires?" I asked, not thinking that perhaps this was a personal question.

Alison didn't act as if it was. "Well, I can't recall when I was changed. I believe it was sometime around the civil war. I honestly don't remember any of my human life, except that my husband had gone off and died in the war, and I was alone, taking care of home, and letting rooms out to strangers who needed a place to stay. I suppose that one of these strangers thought me kind enough to grant me immortal life. At the time, there were so few humans around at all, the only things alive were animals, so that was what I consumed." She checked my expression, fearing that she would push the subject too far, but I kept my face straight and composed as possible. "The first other vampire I met was Carlisle Cullen, who had done his own service in the war as a doctor, and passed through my town on his return home. He found me, explained some of the rules of the life, how he was able to survive on animals as well, and then he parted, heading west. I decided to make my own way in New England. Not long after, I met Sean."

"I was one of the first generation of Irish-Americans," Sean explained. "My human parents came over in the 1850's. I was born and raised during the war. Then, one day I met Alison in the woods, found her hunting. She couldn't smell me, like I can't smell you. Once I learned her secret, I convinced her to change me as well."

"He wasn't _just_ like you," Alison added. "He just didn't smell like a human. More like an animal, a sheep or a cow."

"He still smells like a cow!" Roger yelled from the other room.

"Harper was different," Alison continued. "We found him at the brink of death; a rowdy group of men had beat him and left him in the road. The blood had drawn us to him, and as I said," she smiled, "I fell in love. I couldn't let him die. Vampire venom can save any beating heart, but I gather you already knew that."

"And then you met me!" Roger yelled cheerfully from the next room, keeping himself in the conversation.

"Yes, and we've been stuck with the Happy Hooligan and his wallflower ever since," Sean remarked teasingly.

"Hey!" I heard I cry from upstairs and suddenly Scarlett was in the kitchen, pinning Sean to the tile floor with her hands around his neck. "Call me a wallflower again, I dare you!"

Sean was laughing too hard to answer.

"Oh come on, babe," Roger cooed, entering the room and wrapping his arm around Scarlett's waist to pull her off Sean. "We all know you're the most gorgeous girl around." He kissed her cheek to distract her while Sean got himself up off the floor.

"How did you become a vampire?" I asked Roger when he was done soothing his girlfriend.

"Series of unfortunate events," he said, blasé. "It just so happened that two unfriendly vampires decided to fight over my mouthwatering blood, and ended up killing each other, leaving me with two bites in my neck to change over by myself. It was by mere happenstance that Alison and Harper stumbled across me when they were traveling. That, I suppose was a rather fortunate event." He smiled.

"And none of you have a problem with the diet?" I asked. Everyone laughed a little hesitantly. "What? I think it's a reasonable question."

"It's just that you were so forward about it," Alison assured me. "Most humans would simply be grateful that we chose to find our meals elsewhere."

"I much prefer that I'll never be one of the idiots fighting over a human's blood," Roger laughed.

"I'm grateful enough that I never turned into dinner, after serving meals that were never eaten to this buffoon for so long," Scarlett smiled at the man with his arms around her waist.

Sean didn't say anything.

"It's just one of the choices that we've made," Alison added. "All of us feel stronger as a family this way. So do most others like us. Just look at the Cullens! They're the most famous of our kind, and they not only have the largest clan across the continent, but they've made alliances with werewolves, and humans alike! They're living proof that we're _not_ the monsters of myth, and it's refreshing to know that we're part of that success.",

"I guess the Cullens are like celebrities among your kind, aren't they?" I prompted.

"Oh yeah," Roger laughed.

"There's not a civilized vampire alive who doesn't know about the Cullens," Harper commented, joining the conversation while the football game was at halftime. "We're all living in their legacy, after all."

"You already know most of the story," Sean told me. "About how they made the first stand against the Volturi, and it ended in a draw."

"Oh," Scarlett jumped, "You've read the _Twilight_ books too? I thought they were just fantastic! Even if they did take a detour from history a little…" Sean glared at her until she stopped her rave.

"A better time for book discussion, perhaps," he said meaningfully. "Anyway, after that first gathering of vampires to aid the Cullens, the benefits of their way of life convinced almost all covens to change to the new way. Enough that the Volturi felt it a large enough danger to attack again."

"It was the worst battle in history," Alison said gravely. "I've never seen so much fire, or heard so much screaming. It was a miracle none of us died."

"You mean it's a miracle that Bella Cullen is god among us mere immortals," Roger chortled. "With her amazing skills, no one on the gold side could be touched."

A confused look on my face prompted Sean to inform me, "They call it the Red and Gold War, because of the opposing forces," He pointed to his golden eyes.

"Oh, of course," I said, nodding.

"So, continuing story time," Roger said cheerfully, "The Volturi and all their followers bit the dust, and the Romanians returned to power, but they don't interfere with us vegetarians so much. The Cullens are famous, the rest of us go home safe and sound, and with a long list of new pen pals to send Christmas cards to. End of story."

"Speaking of Christmas cards, Peter and Charlotte didn't send us one this year, do you suppose they'll be visiting soon?" Harper chimed in.

"Oh, I bet they will be, they were always the ones for surprises," Alison replied. "Of course, I would have liked a little notice as to when, if only Lisa-"

The entire room froze as her name was mentioned and I strained my ears for any sound of the girl who was sulking upstairs, for the singular reason that she hated me.

I took my cue to politely excuse myself. "Well, this has been a wonderful visit, I'm sure I'll be back sooner than you know it. I think have some homework to get to though-"

"Of course," Sean was quickly at my side. "I'll take you home."

"That's not really necessary, I mean, we did drive _my_ car."

He smiled innocently at me. "I just want to make sure you get home safely."

"Okay, I guess…" I wouldn't push the subject, I could already sense that there was no way I could win.

The whole family smiled at me as I headed toward the front door.

"It was lovely having you over, Tessa," said Alison.

"I'll see you at school, I guess," Scarlett said with a hint of remorse to see me leaving so soon.

I flashed her a special, friendly smile. "Yes. I'll see you on Monday." Her face lit up at my promise, and I said goodbye to the rest of them. Then Sean and I were out the door.

Once we were in the car, I felt safe to talk about them. "Your family is very welcoming."

"Of course they are," he said, "They know you're a part of us now, they _want _you to be welcome."

I hesitated when he said "a part of us," but didn't say anything. "It was very nice to get to know most of them."

He caught my insinuation. "I'm sorry about Lisa. I warned you that she wouldn't be very friendly."

"Sean, how good is a vampire's hearing?"

He was surprised by my change of subject but answered the question anyway. "Well, we can hear pretty much everything that's said in the house, even some things outside. I can usually hear things clear across the cafeteria at school, even with all the jabber."

"So Lisa could hear everything we were saying when I was there?"

He frowned. "Yes."

"And you could also hear if she said anything."

"Yes."

"Then what did she say when I first walked into the house?" He paused, unwilling to tell me. "Please?"

"She was just being bitter. She doesn't feel safe that we're letting a human be part of our secret."

"Just tell me what she said, Sean."

He sighed. "She said that the only way to be friends with a human is if their heart stops beating."

"You mean if I died?"

"Or the other option."

"Like…?"

"Becoming one of us."

I gasped, because I suddenly realized what his plan had been all along, why I was now "part of the family."

"Look," he said quickly, "I told you: Lisa is just being bitter, it doesn't matter what she says. Let's just forget it ever happened. Until she can behave, I'm going to ignore her, and you should too."

I nodded, but I knew what would really happen. Unless Sean decided that I was going to become a vampire like the rest of them, Lisa was going to decide for him. And who knew which way her decision would go; for immortal life, or other ways.

**Another quick note, I mentioned Charlotte and Peter in this chapter making a visit in the futur. I didn't actually write said visit into the story, but if you guys think I should, I'd be more than willing. Tell me what you think! Reviewwwwwwwwwwwww please :)**


	10. Chapter 10 Ice

**A/N: Happy Friday everyone! Wow, I am sooooo happpy it's the weekend. You know how they say the week back from vacation is the longest week ever? THEY WEREN'T LYING. Anyway, I was _sooooo_ happy with all the wonderful reviews I got yesterday, like, really I can't even describe how happy I was. There was some jumping up and down involved... Because I love you, here is the next chapter! Yay! And i have full intentions of spending the entire weekend reading, writing, and watching chick flicks, and posting more chapters! Three cheers for Friday! Yeah! **

**P.S. I have put up a poll on my profile for the Charlotte/Peter question. Make your voice heard! VOTE!!! I'm making the final decision tomorrow at noon, so you better vote ASAP!**

_Unless Sean decided that I was going to become a vampire like the rest of them, Lisa was going to decide for him. And who knew which way her decision would go; for immortal life, or other ways._

**Chapter 10**

**Ice**

"What do you mean there's no story? You have to tell us how it happened!"

"Yeah! There is no way you would willingly enter a relationship without _some _drama."

"Did you cry? Did he get down on one knee and pledge his love for you?"

I tried to ignore my friends' pleading while I made a feeble attempt at our worksheets on the subjunctive mood, but their hunger for gossip was insatiable. Since Sean and I walked into the school that morning, holding hands, everyone knew. It was official: We were dating.

Of course, Sean didn't exactly see it this way. To him, our relationship was something more permanent. I was the missing piece he had always been searching for, his partner for eternity.

I tried not to think about it to much. Excepting the fact that my right eye twitched whenever I heard someone use the words "forever," "love," or "attached," I was doing ok with the idea. After all, now I got free coffee every morning.

Now, after finally getting used to the idea that I had no romantic interest in Sean, my friends Kayla, Sam, and Carly were attacking my change of status during French, demanding and explanation. An explanation I couldn't give.

"You have to tell us _something_," Sam begged.

"There really isn't anything to tell," I replied. "He just admitted that he felt more than just friendship between us, and we agreed that we could be more than that."

"Tessa," Carly said very seriously, pulling my attention towards her, "I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, and I _know_ that this just isn't like you! Less than a month ago you swore that you didn't want to date _anyone_, that you were going to wait until college. I know you well enough to know that being in a relationship scares the heck out of you! You're more focused on repelling boys than on falling in love with them! What's changed?"

"Maybe I was wrong before, could you blame me for jumping to conclusions? I love Sean. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. End of story." Lies. Lies. Lies.

Sam groaned. "Ugh! You are so frustrating! Not even caring enough to give your friends one tiny detail…"

I thought about the events that passed Friday and tried to think of something I could tell them. Unfortunately, most of it was even too much for me to comprehend.

"He's very old fashioned," I said finally. It was true enough. Considering he was over 150 years old.

"So? What does that mean exactly?" Samantha urged.

"Did he give you his class ring or something?" Kayla giggles.

"No, I just mean he's very… formal."

"Ugh!" Sam groaned again. "You're no fun!" She turned around in her seat and focused on the class work we were supposed to be doing.

Carly examined my poker face one more time, then followed suite.

I breathed an unnoticed sigh of relief and turned to my thoughts once again, considering there was so much to think about.

I was dating a vampire. Officially. Whose sister may or may not be plotting my death as the measly minutes ticked by. And all the while, the more time I spent with him, the closer I let him come, I was never sure, never absolutely certain that this was what I wanted. I hoped it was, I wished it to be. I didn't have much choice in the matter; he never let me choose.

Where was the moment where he was supposed to say, "I have deep affections for you, will you please me my girlfriend?" Thus creating the opportunity to scream at the top of my lungs, "NO!"

The moment didn't exist. One minute I was oblivious to Sean's true identity, safe from all attachments, and the next I was in on the greatest secret to enter the borders of Hardgrave, and I was romantically involved with the culprit. What choice did I have? It wasn't exactly like I could say, "Hey, thanks for letting me know that all your family are immortal vampires, but I think I'm gonna stay single. Peace out!" When entrusted with such a secret, could I really betray the one who confided in me?

It didn't matter that looking at his beauty hurt my eyes, or that his cold skin repulsed me, or that I was in constant fear of his immeasurable strength; I was trapped.

Even when I told him how I really felt, he ignored it like it was nothing. He was so confident that I would eventually love him just as he loved me. How that could be, I didn't know.

The bell rang and I jumped in my seat. The few people who noticed laughed quietly at my falter, and Carly gave me a concerned look. While the rest of the class exited, I slipped on a pair of gloves that I kept in my bag, as well as my overcoat.

When I stepped out into the hallway, Sean was already waiting for me. He casually slipped his bare fingers through my gloved ones and placed his other hand on my burdened shoulder.

"A bit overdressed for lunch, don't you think?" He asked mockingly. "You look like you're going out into a blizzard!"

"I'm freezing," I lied. "They don't heat this school well enough."

He remained oblivious and didn't remove his hands.

We entered the cafeteria together, and I was positive that everyone was staring at us. The general din of the room was lower than I had ever heard it. Even the lunch ladies were looking at us. It must have been an odd sight; gorgeous god, seen with pudgy girl in a parka. Sean didn't seem to notice, however, and he pulled me toward the table where the rest of his family was sitting. As we passed the table where the rest of my friends sat, they all gave me a series of confused looks. Carly just shook her head while Joanna whispered to her, "What's going on?"

I blindly sat at the McNally table, unobservant, when I suddenly realized that there were only two people facing me. I looked up to Roger and Scarlett's glowing, grinning faces, but didn't see the glowering grimace I had been dreading.

"Wait," I stuttered, "Where's Lisa?"

"She didn't feel like coming today," Roger replied passively.

"Not that any of us wanted to see her," Scarlett added bitterly. "She has been unpleasant, unhappy, and downright _rude_ these past few days! I've just about had enough of her!"

"Babe!" Roger objected.

"She _is_ part of the family," Sean chided. "It's not like we're can kick her out on the street."

"Why not?" Scarlett asked. "She's certainly not _acting _like part of the family…" Sean shot her a look that silenced her rampage. Scarlett's sympathetic eyes just moved to me.

"Scarlett, I really don't care how Lisa feels about me. You don't have to campaign for my defense. I kind of understand where she's coming from."

"You do?" Sean asked, surprised hanging off each word.

"Yeah, I mean, if she doesn't trust me that's her decision. I'm not trying to win a popularity contest here; I know that not everyone in the world is going to like me. It's too bad she's one of them, but it's not her fault."

"Of course it is! Why wouldn't be her fault!" Scarlett asked sharply.

"Because she's not the one who decided to break the rules."

Sean's calm expression turned harsh. "That was _my _choice, not hers!"

"Exactly. You made a choice that _she _now has to live with, whether or not she likes it."

"Well, she could certainly put some effort toward pretending," Scarlett mumbled. Roger squeezed her shoulders to help relieve the anger.

"Do you think perhaps we can talk about something mildly pleasant?" Sean gave a fierce look toward both Scarlett and I, inviting us not to bring Lisa back into the conversation.

"Sure, Bro," Roger said blithely, "Shoot."

"Weather reports say that the clouds are going to clear by early afternoon," Sean continued. "I thought it would be a good opportunity to go for a hike on Peacock Hill." I knew Peacock Hill; it was a series of open trails on top of a pretty hill in the neighboring town. At the top of the hill you could see clear across the bay to Boston. I also knew it would be freezing if the clouds really did break enough to let the cold northern winds swoop down on us.

"That sounds like fun," Roger said cheerfully. "It's not that busy on Mondays, is it?"

"It'll also be a good chance for Tessa to see our skin in the sun," Sean whispered, so quietly that I could barely hear him, and I was sitting less than six inches away.

"Actually," I began uneasily. "I usually go to church on Mondays. It's an afternoon into the evening thing…"

"I think you can afford to miss it once," Sean stated. His tone was nice enough, but he left no room for argument.

Just then, a looming shadow accompanied by heavy breathing alerted even my human ears that we had a visitor. I looked up from what had become something of a huddle around the table to see Barney in a fuming rage, standing at the end of the table in what he surely thought was an aggressive stance. In actuality, he looked a little like a toddler in a tantrum.

"So this is how it is, huh, Tessa?" he said through trembling lips.

"Yes," Sean answered in perfect diction. "Tessa is with me now. I'm sorry this apparently upsets you, but in all honesty, you had your chance."

"Would you let the girl talk?" Barney barked back through gritted teeth.

Sean looked at me, and for a moment I saw what Barney had seen in his amber eyes; possession. I was _his_, no one else's.

I thought about what to say. I wanted to tell him that No, I hadn't suddenly changed my mind, but that things were different and far more complicated than he could understand. Of course, I couldn't say this. I didn't want to set myself up for disaster, nor did I want to put Barney in any danger. He would try to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, and as Lisa had pointed out many a time, that only led to tragedy. I knew the only way to shake him off my trail would be to lie, say that I was happy, that this was what I wanted. I also knew it would break his heart.

"Yeah, this is it. This is how it is." My words were cold, and uncaring.

He took a step back, as if I had hit him with an invisible blow. He quickly composed himself to match my coldness. "Well, it would have been nice to know that all the while you said you just wanted space what you were really asking for was good looks. It would have saved a lot of trouble on my part." He glared at Sean's coy smile.

"Yeah, I guess it would have been nice." I didn't lessen the callousness of my words, but I was crying on the inside, broken up that he thought all I cared about was appearances. I had always held a special admiration for Barney's boyish face, his scuffed, mousey brown hair, and warm cocoa eyes. I missed the comfort of familiarity, the softness.

"Yeah…" He paused, still caught up in my heartless reply. "Well, I really hope you're happy, cause I'm done trying to be enough for you. I thought you were someone special, Tess! We could always talk to each other, understand one another! I don't know what happened…" He gazed into my eyes, searching for an answer. I thought about ice. Cold, hard, cutting ice.

"I guess I was wrong about you," he said finally.

"Guess so."

"Yeah… Have a nice life, kid." He walked away. I exhaled. So did everyone else at the table.

"Thank god," Scarlett said quietly, but forcefully. "He smelled terrible, I thought he was never going to leave. Come on, Tess. I need some air."

Suddenly I was being pulled from my chair and all but dragged out of the cafeteria and down the hall. Scarlett was good at disguising her inhuman strides; to any passerby, it looked like we were just walking, but in actuality, I wasn't really moving my legs so much.

We crashed into the door to the girl's bathroom and Scarlett inhaled quickly to determine that we were the only ones.

"I hope you don't mind," She said to me, "but you looked like you could use some primp time. That must have been totally annoying for you, having some loser on your heels like he was. I was ready for him to get down and beg!" She laughed bleakly, and the chime-like sound echoed off the tiled walls.

"Now, let's see," she said and she reached a hand across the space to tuck a bit of hair behind my ear. "I think I know what you need. Just give me a second." She reached into her purse and pulled out a brush and some unidentifiable tube of what I assumed to be makeup. "I hope you don't mind losing this," she said, pulling off my parka. "You can borrow my scarf if you're really cold. It looks much better, and it'll still keep you warm." Surprisingly, it did. Scarlett took a few more minutes twisting my hair behind my ears and spreading some liner under my eyes.

"There," she said, tucking her tools away. "Now, just put on a brave face and don't think about what anyone else says about you. You _are_ special, you _are_ beautiful. Why else would Sean love you so much?"

Because it's convenient, I thought, but I didn't say anything. I tried out what I thought was a brave face.

"Perfect," Scarlett appraised, smiling. "Let's go."

I followed her out the door, but not before glancing at my face in the mirror. My breath caught in my chest. The girl that looked back at me from the mirror looked just like all of them; beautiful, but cold as ice. ***

That afternoon Sean pulled me with an arm around my shoulder through the parking lot to the Black Mustang that I had once cursed with my killing glare. Safely deposited in the passenger seat, he let go of me only to take the wheel. Roger and Scarlett took the back seat contentedly, playfully arguing over some personal matter. I was polite enough not to try to listen.

We pulled out of the lot and Sean turned on the radio to some freestyle jazz station. The music sounded like a party of clowns who had some how obtained a bunch of saxophones and thought it was a real laugh to try to out-blast one another.

"Do you like this kind of music?" Sean asked.

"Sure," I lied.

He smiled. "Good, cause I love it. I was going to do my own recording before the rest of the family kidnapped my saxophones. I think I'll see if I can borrow some of the school's horns, just try out a few good charts. I have a recording studio set up in our basement, did you know that?"

"No," I answered blankly. "That's pretty cool."

Sean continued smiling and reached across to hold my hand. I had forgotten to put my gloves back on, so I was subjected to the coldness of his fingers. It felt like frostbite creeping across my arm, but I said nothing.

We drove the familiar roads to Peacock Hill, all the while enjoying the jarring sounds of freestyle jazz. I internally fought with myself about why I was punishing myself by sitting through this misery, but manners won out in the end. It wasn't a terribly long drive to the Hill anyway.

As the weathermen promised, the clouds were breaking apart just in time for the last few hours of daylight. Peacock Hill was deserted, as it was a Monday, and the winter wind was whipping around my ears. I shrugged my scarf up higher on my shoulders in an attempt to shield them, but I was suddenly whipped in another direction by Sean's hand tugging mine. I saw he was heading towards one of the lower trails that was more concealed than the very top of the hill.

"Come on," He said excitedly. "I want to show you something." I complacently followed along, not bothering to even try to fight against his grasp on my arm. I knew it would be useless.

We got to the bottom of the hill where the trail meandered into the woods. There was a large boulder, about up to my chest in height, that was next to some of the trees. Sean effortlessly picked me up around the waist and propped me up on top the rock. It was cold, but not entirely uncomfortable. The wind wasn't as strong at the bottom of the hill. I could see Roger and Scarlett far down the trail in the woods, just standing, enjoying each other's company and a day out in the fresh air. I figured they must have run ahead of us at vampire speed, as I certainly couldn't have made it that far into the woods in the amount of time it took to get where I was, even running to the best of my ability.

It was then that I noticed we were in one of the few spots on the hill where the sun had broken though the clouds. A visible ray poured down right on the rock where I was perched, and I let it warm my frozen cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement, and turned to see Sean under the shade of the trees, unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you-" I began, but stopped as he stepped out into the sunlight. The first thing I noticed was that he had absolutely perfect abs, as pale as the rest of his skin, but the second thing was what he had obviously intended for me to see. It was that every inch of his skin was sparkling in the sun, just like it were made of reflective glass. Every color imaginable shown from his skin, light bouncing off him and jumping onto the leaves and grass all around, but he was still a beam of white light. It reminded me of when an artist painted a white egg, but never used the color white. Instead, every color together created the illusion of white. Sean's skin was an illusion that made the eye constantly move across his shimmering image. It was too painful; I had to avert my gaze for his godly figure.

"Now you know what it looks like," He said casually, re-buttoning his shirt. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"It's amazing," I said honestly, but still not looking at his glittering face.

"That's why we don't really go into the sun much; it's a little distracting," he joked.

"Do you know why it does that?" I asked.

"It's cause of what our skin is made of. It's a molecular construction almost identical to diamonds. It has the same strength as diamonds, and it also has the same reaction under natural white light. Just one of the perks of being a vampire." He laughed.

"Can I ask you something?" I suggested timidly.

"Of course," He answered, eager with curiosity.

"Why did you want to become a vampire? I mean, Alison said that you convinced her to change you when you discovered what she was. Why would you _choose_ this life?"

Sean gave me an incredulous look. "Why _wouldn't_ I choose this life? I have a family who loves me, incredible abilities, and an eternity to learn and spend time with the people I love. My parents had died long before I met Alison, and I was afraid of death. It had been all around me when I was growing up. There was nothing I wouldn't give to avoid the same fate as my family. You see," he added, "They had all become very sick and it had withered away every hope they had for life. It was they most painful thing to watch-" He trembled at the memory, and I caught a glimpse of the mental image, seeing loved ones shaking and sweating with sickness, screaming out in pain…

"I had nothing left to lose," He said conclusively.

"I see," I said, but I didn't. I couldn't imagine being at any point in my life when I wouldn't want to hold on to it; when I wouldn't want to feel warmth instead of eternal cold, when I would choose the taste of blood over the taste of food. When I would give up the hope of loving someone for who they were, not for convenience.

"Besides," Sean continued while I was lost in my own thoughts. "Some good things come around when you have a hundred and fifty years to wait for them." He smiled at me, and his shining white teeth caught my attention once again. He stole the moment to force his unfathomable amber eyes into my pale turquoise ones, and lifted a pale hand to my cheek. His touch made me shiver, but he didn't take any notice of it, and pulled me closer to him.

I knew what was going to happen a split second before it did. His ice cold, rock hard lips pressed onto my shivering pink ones gently, and moved to force the emotion behind them into me.

I knew how he felt. I knew that he was just trying to let me know that I meant more to him than the life he had thrown away so carelessly. But I didn't feel the same way. I couldn't respond to his love. Instead, I became frozen under his frosty lips. He didn't seem to mind. When he released my mouth, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side, cradling my chin in his hand, and let silence sit between us.

I suppose to anyone walking by, we would have looked like the perfectly happy couple you always see sitting on park benches, or in cozy booths at restaurants. The kind that's happy only to be in each other's arms. I was not comfortable. Sean's embrace was as cold and hard as the rock we were sitting on. But I couldn't move, and I couldn't speak. I was literally frozen, an ice sculpture.

It wasn't until that evening when I was finally alone in my room, after Sean treated me to an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant that I had barely tasted, that I realized how frozen I was. I didn't feel anything. Not just emotionally, because I had already been aware of that, but also physically. Everything was numb. I pinched my skin; I couldn't feel it. I pulled off my sweatshirt and looked at my arms. There were bruises I hadn't even noticed. Probably from Sean's inadvertently strong pull on my wrist as he raced us all over the trails of Peacock Hill. I couldn't accuse him of hurting me, because I had never felt it. I poked the center of one of the bruises now, but still didn't feel anything.

I was made of ice, just like them.

**This is it, this is your cue. Don't be nervous, just follow the stage directions: _Reader gazes intently at the computer screen, then clicks on the review button with gusto and leaves a comment- _(Improvisational comments, etc...) Please review!!!!!**


	11. Chapter 11 Running

**A/N: Ok, I think I finally got everything figured out. I WILL be writing the visit with Peter and Charlotte, that little extra chapter is coming immediately after this one. I want to toss in a little disclaimer though, I already wrote everything else WITHOUT the next chapter, so although I'm going to try to make it fit into my story to the best of my ability, it might not be perfect. PLEASE don't let it change your opinion of the story. Anyway, I'm going to try to get that chapter out later today (yay! two chapters in one day! woohoo! we love the weekend!) so be patient, read, review, and check out the playlist on my profile! Thanks everyone!!!!!**

**Chapter 11**

**Running**

The long anticipated spring finally arrived in Hardgrave, bringing with it days that didn't fall to below freezing temperatures, an almost constant fall of rain, and flowers that poked through the rain soaked ground. My fellow classmates took the opportunity to flaunt the latest spring fashions, showing off their salon tanned legs in baby doll dresses and flip-flops rather than skinny jeans and Ugg boots. However, despite the warming weather, I was still stuck in a permanent winter. Especially with Sean McNally around.

With a cold arm always around my shoulder, and cold lips so often pressed against my cheek, spring seemed like a distant and almost laughable concept. When everyone was bouncing around in their light and dainty fashions, I was still wearing baggy sweatshirts and long jeans. I had to wear long sleeves to hide the bruises that constantly covered my arms. I wasn't in any pain though; I still couldn't feel anything.

Can being frozen become a way of life? Of course it can. If you're a vampire, that's how you live; In almost every sense of the word, I was a vampire, minus the blood part. I felt no warmth, and I stayed out of the sunlight when it did shine down on Hardgrave. I was frozen in time, exactly the same as I had been the day Sean first today me what he was. I didn't eat unless I had to, and when I did I couldn't taste food. My eye sight was improved; I saw every jealous glare and every confused look that passed me. My hearing was better too; I heard every whispered rumor about me, and about the McNallys. I joined the spring track team so I could run everyday, finally enjoying the thrill of speed, no longer anchored by the pain that I should have felt pulsing through my legs. I had stopped sleeping as much as I could as one dream kept haunting me every night.

It was the same dream I had the first day the McNallys had moved to Hardgrave. I was always running, which didn't seem so odd, now that I ran every day, and I knew I was running from Sean. It was strange that he never caught up to me because I knew that he could move faster than most motor vehicles, but I ran nevertheless through all the unfamiliar terrains.

The thing that bothered me the most about the dream was that I _shouldn't_ be running from Sean. I felt the guilt of this desire, even in my unconsciousness. Sean was the most perfect boyfriend any girl could have ever wished for. He loved me unconditionally. He told me so every day. He did everything he could think of to make me happy, from walking me to class, to buying me unexpected gifts, to spending every second of our free time together. He always said he would never hurt me, which was more or less true as I couldn't feel anything anyway. It was the thought that counted.

I knew that it was horrible for me to be running from someone as wonderful as Sean, even in my dreams. Why would I run from someone who loved me?

I stayed up as late as I possibly could every night, reading, or doing homework, or listening to music, until I would suddenly awake, book in hand, CD over, and light on, with the memory of ground speeding underneath my feet still fresh in my mind and guilt still thick in my heart.

I fought against these dreams strenuously, but it was useless. All music started to put me to sleep, even the heavy metal CDs that I had purchased in an eighth grade fit of rebellion. I had read over forty books in the past three months, but couldn't remember the name of the main character of a single one. My homework record was impeccable, and I finally had a solid hold on the title of valedictorian of my class, but if asked what I had learned in any of those classes in which I had an A, I couldn't recall a thing.

The only clear memory I had obtained from between the months of February and April was of running through a million different places, Sean left behind me.

During the day, it didn't matter that I was numb to the world; I projected the perfect façade of happiness. It was easy enough, with Sean always around, laughing about various nothings that amused him. Eventually the strange looks my friends shot across the cafeteria and classrooms went away. The whispers and rumors found their own ends. Sean was always at my side, shielding me from any exterior influences that might penetrate my fortress of ice. He walked me to every class, like usual, and I continued sitting with his family at lunch. If ever Sean wasn't in school, because it was too sunny, or because he went hunting with his family, I stayed home.

Scarlett filled in the place of my best friend since I had stopped talking to Carly months ago, and I no longer drove Sam to school. Scarlett aptly noticed my affinity for baggy sweatshirts and jeans, and was kind enough to supply me with more fashionable options than my closet usually held. Due to my lack of appetite, as well as my new running regimen, I lost a significant amount of weight, so new clothes were much appreciated.

Sean couldn't join track with me, as the outdoor practice was usually sunnier than he was allowed, so he met me everyday at the end of my practice and drove me home where we did homework until my dad made dinner and Sean politely excused himself, kissing me once before he walked out the door.

My parents liked Sean well enough, accrediting him to the glories of my miraculous weight loss and stunning grades. To them, there was no better influence in my life, although they did ask me why I didn't hang out with Carly as much.

My brother, John, didn't like Sean, as he was constantly reminding him to do his homework or to get off the computer and run around outside. Sean claimed that none of my family had particularly fragrant blood, though none as bland as mine. He kept a safe distance from them for their own safety, and I watched his movements like a hawk when they were in the same room as us, just in case.

Hugo, my once true love, had taken to hiding in my parents' room whenever Sean was over. He never softened even a little bit to Sean's constant presence. He wouldn't come near me anymore since I smelled too much like the vampires who had taken over my life. This broke my heart the most.

On Saturdays and Sundays, after my morning run, Sean would meet me and drive me to his house, and I would spend the whole day with the McNally family. They loved my company so much, I almost felt the happiness that I pretended motivated the consistent smile on my face. There was a very contagious energy around the house. They competed in cooking meals for me, seeing who was the best chef. I tried to be a fair judge, even though I couldn't taste anything. We played board games as a family, or sometimes tossed a Frisbee around in the back yard, avoiding Harper's flowerbeds. Sean and I watched a lot of movies. I had already shared my entire collection of favorites, and Sean had moved on to showing me what he claimed to be the best titles of the forties and fifties. In short, there was always something to do at the McNally household.

The more time I spent with them, the more I got to know and appreciate the company of Sean's family in return. I learned that Alison had a very vivacious character. She bounced all over the house, filling every room with a certain level of liveliness, and her booming voice echoed around the house, although everyone could hear her easily. I liked to think she did this for my benefit. Harper contrastingly had a very calming personality. He was always either watching TV with quiet intensity, or outside working in his gardens, or hovering in the shadows of whatever room Alison was in, countering her animated aura. Roger and Scarlett were almost always together, usually bickering about something inconsequential, but always forgiving each other with the sweetest of words. I was awed by their relationship. Love was so clear and apparent in everything they did together, it struck me as bizarre that Sean thought we could even compare. He had been right, of course, that I would grow to love him over time, but I couldn't believe that it was the same kind of love I saw in Scarlett's eyes when she looked at Roger.

I asked Scarlett about this once, during one of our "primp" sessions in the girls' bathroom. She had grown obsessed with making sure my hair and make-up was perfect, seeing as I had lost interest in my appearances the same time I lost interest in food and sleep. It got to the point where I didn't bother doing anything with my hair before I got to school and I just met her first thing in the morning so she could work on the mess that was the entire upper half of my body while I drank the coffee Sean had kindly brought me.

Between the occasional tsk-ing and her comments of "Oh, this will look _great_," I squeezed in my question.

"Scarlett, what did you think of Roger _before _you knew he was a vampire?"

"That he was gorgeous, obviously," She laughed. She sighed as she tugged a brush through my hair, then continued in the lovesick tone she used whenever she talked about Roger. "He was the most charming customer I ever had at that puny little diner. I never understood why he came every morning, cause he rarely ate anything, and he wasn't like all the old men who came simply out of habit. Every day he looked as if he were on some new adventure, by simply sitting down in my section and waiting for me to say something. It was incredibly flattering, you can imagine," she giggled. "I had never thought of myself as very pretty, though I made an effort to look my best. Unlike you appear to do." She emphasized this by smacking my shoulder lightly with the brush. "I fell in love with him the first time I heard him say my name. There was no stopping it. He was the only reason I stayed at that diner, serving old cronies and perverts all day long. It was all for him. It was like he was the sun, and I was in orbit around him. There was no way I could let go."

I knew that I had been right in thinking that my love for Sean was something completely different. He wasn't my sun, he was the moon, giving me some light during the darkness, but not even enough to see color. I wasn't pulled to him, but he had an effect on me, like the tides. And he was always there, a part of my life, even if it wasn't always visible.

The McNally household became like a second home to me. I was a part of the family, knowledgeable of all the quirks that belonged to certain people. I had my favorite chair in the living room, and my favorite place to hide if things were too hectic. That was the back porch, which stretched the entire length of the house, with large glass doors that opened out from the kitchen and living room. Harper had planted flowers all around the porch, as well as in flowerpots and window boxes, and a porch swing hung at the left end. Gazing into the deep woods from this seat was the closest I ever came to a sincere emotion. I didn't know what it was, but it was the only time I could feel the blood in my veins move fast enough to create something familiar of warmth.

I grew so accustomed to the family, that it took me longer than it should have to realize that someone was missing. Sean was driving me home one Saturday evening when the obvious truth dawned on me.

I audibly gasped and threw my hands out in front of me. Sean quickly asked, "What is it?" voice full of concern.

"Lisa," I finally managed to choke out. "Lisa hasn't been coming to school. She hasn't been at the house. Where's Lisa?"

"Oh," Sean mumbled, concern gone and replaced by aggravation. "I was hoping this wouldn't come up. It's not very important, as it is. She left."

"What do you mean she _left_?" I asked incredulously.

"Just that; she left. She hadn't been going to school anyway, and all she did was stay up in her room sulking, and one day she finally came down and told us she was leaving."

"What did she say?"

He frowned, then answered, "She told Roger that his constant happiness was giving her headaches and that she couldn't stay with us anymore."

I studied his expression which he was desperately trying to keep composed. "That's not all she said."

"Sure it is," he lied.

"Sean," I said, voice stern and unyielding.

He sighed, then said with irritation. "She also said… that she wouldn't stick around to watch another tragedy unfold on our lives."

"Meaning me."

"No," he retorted sharply. "Meaning she can't see any happiness in her future so she's too nervous to stick around. She doesn't know what she's talking about!"

"How would you know?" I yelled. "You haven't said a civil word to her since the day she tried to run us down with the Mustang!"

"I know, ok? So let's not talk about this. No one in the family is sorry to see her leave, and I won't have you trying to make them feel guilty about it. Lisa would have left eventually anyway, it was only a matter of time. Besides, we're all very happy to have you in our lives, no one is going to regret that."

The fact that none of the McNallys ever said anything about Lisa convinced me that her leaving had more to do me than Sean wanted me to believe. Her name was like taboo; if someone let it slip, everyone went silent and stared at me. I got so sick of it, I left for my porch swing whenever it happened. Unfortunately, Sean took this motion to mean that _I _was uncomfortable someone had brought her up. Nothing could have been more wrong; I wished that they would just talk about her, just like they talked about all their other friends. It wasn't like she died. Even if she had, they should still talk about her, I knew they must miss her. How could they not? She was part of the family, Sean had said it himself. Why had he let anything change that?

I found myself seeking the comfort of the porch swing more often, pretending that the girl I had never gotten to know was sitting beside me, as furious with the rest of the family as I was. Now that it was late April, the woods had transformed into an ocean of green. Harper worked busily in the flower bed just off the porch steps. He was humming a sweet melody I didn't recognize, his skin shimmering dully in the faint traces of light that tried to work their way through the thick clouds.

"How are the flowers doing today, Harper?" I asked cordially.

"Just fine," he answered, dusting mud off his fingers. "They certainly like the rain that passed through last night."

"April showers bring May flowers," I recited.

He looked up at me and smiled a warm smile. "Yes they do." He stood up and collected his tray of gardening tools. "I'm so glad that they finally broke through the ground. Winter is the loneliest season for me, without anything growing. It's like if I had a pet who only showed up during the warm months in the year."

"I would hate it if I didn't get to see my dog for that long. I'm going to miss him so much when I'm at college in the fall."

"That's right," Harper said, "You'll be at college next year! Have you decided where you're going yet?"

As Harper was talking, Sean walked through the kitchen door onto the porch to stand next to me. "Oh, Tessa doesn't know where she's going yet."

I was startled that Sean had answered for me. "Sure I do!" I retorted angrily.

"Well, what I mean is you haven't made the final decision yet," he said this with a calm, convincing voice while he squeezed my shoulder. "Still a few weeks to do that." He smiled a wide grin that made me glare at him spitefully, while Harper moved toward the kitchen door.

"Of course," he said while rubbing his muddy hands together. "Well, it's my turn to cook dinner, so I better get started soon. See you in a few, Tessa." He winked at me and went inside.

I turned all my fury onto Sean. "What do you mean, I don't know where I'm going yet? I know exactly where I'm going!"

"No you don't," Sean said, his look earnestly confused.

"Yes, I do! I'm going to Dartmouth! I told you that in January!"

"Yes, but that was _before_ you knew the truth about me. I just figured, since we're together now, that you would give Boston University another consideration."

"I don't _want_ to give BU another chance! I'm going to Dartmouth!"

"Tessa," He said, turning me to face him directly and staring into my eyes with concern. "I'm only registered as a junior in Hardgrave. I can't graduate for another year. If you go to Dartmouth, I can't follow you."

Just then, I saw the shining-pale envious moon's true desires. He wanted to be close to me, always. He wanted to always have our Saturdays and Sundays with the family, to always bring me coffee in the morning, and to always kiss me goodnight. If I stayed in Boston, he could probably still manage this, at least most of the time. But Dartmouth was far enough away that he would only be able to see me on the weekends, if that.

I suddenly felt something inside myself; the first real emotion that had coursed through me in months. A monster of sorts rose up and confirmed the decision I thought I was sure of, but now knew to be unwavering.

"I'm going to Dartmouth. No negotiating."

Sean looked at me, utterly shocked, but somehow waved it away and the cocky grin returned to his face. "We'll see. Like I said, there's still time to decide."

The monster inside me growled. Yes, there was still time, but I had already made my decision. I faked a smile in return and we continued through the evening without any more hiccups until he kissed me goodnight at my door and I walked inside.

Walked inside and went straight to the desk in my room where I had kept all my acceptance letters stored, found my letter from Dartmouth, pulled out the return envelope, marked the square box that said, Yes! I am enrolling in Dartmouth's Fall Semester for the class of 2013! And I signed the check from my seldom-used check book for $400. And ran all the way down to the corner of the street in the dark to post my deposit in the blue mailbox. I also burned all my other acceptance letter in the stove for good measure.

It had just become so evident that evening that _this _was my escape, my only chance to be free of Sean's constant attentions. The monster in me purred happily as I made mental plans for my approaching year at college, and I sat in my room gasping for air as I let myself _feel _for the first time in months.

There was hope. I had a chance. This was it.

I did something completely different that night; I set on a CD of calming music, and I ignored my pile of books to read while I climbed into bed at the early hour of 10 PM, for once begging myself to experience the dream I had been hiding from for so long.

My subconscious complied. I was running; running fast and effortlessly from so much practice. I recognized the street I was running on, as I had been there before. Not only in other dreams, but in real life. I turned off the road and ran across walking paths and green lawns, past familiar buildings. I knew Sean was behind me, calling my name, but not catching up to me.

I knew I was running away from him. I wasn't afraid of him, but I couldn't stay where I was, I couldn't be near him anymore. I needed to feel something. I needed movement, I needed to feel earth beneath my feet. All I felt was the ground under my feet. No cold, no pain. Just feet hitting the ground.

I saw the woods looming ahead of me. For the first time I felt something close to fear, because I knew that once we were in the woods he would catch up to me, try to stop me, and I wanted to keep moving. I kept on my path. I burst into the woods, running with abandon through the brush, not feeling if thorns or branches were scraping against my legs. Every thing was so clear, clearer than if I had even been awake.

I hit a wall. But how could a wall be in the forest? This was some surprise that my subconscious had been saving for me…

I didn't look up to see what I had run into. I didn't keep running, or turn around to look for Sean or do anything. Instead, I stared at my hand.

My hand, the first thing that had made contact with whatever the thing had been, was warm with heat. I could feel.

I woke up, jumping almost clear out of my bed, still feeling the lingering warmth on my hand that was stretched out in front of me, shaking in the air. My breathing was staggered from the shock, and I continued staring at my hand in the dark.

I didn't know what it all meant. I didn't know why this dream had haunted me for so long, or why it seemed to be the only weapon against the numbness that had consumed my life. But I did know two things.

I _did_ need to run from Sean. No matter how perfect a boyfriend he may be, or how much I did love him, my dreams were not lying to me. I needed to run away from him.

The other thing I knew was that Dartmouth was my escape. The dream had confirmed this as well; The streets I ran on, the familiar buildings, the woods that felt like home… They were all recognizable in my memory as the college campus I had visited in the fall. I had seen clearly in my dream every Dartmouth sweatshirt, and even the familiar street signs.

Finally, I knew I was running in the right direction.

**Review! Reading your reviews is like music to my ears, and seeing as I'm OBSESSED with music, you should DEFINITELY review. It's the only logical response.**


	12. Chapter 12 Shocked Off His Feet

**A/N: This is my extra chapter that I just wrote today about Peter and Charlotte's visit (Cue cheering: Yay!!!!!). I will repeat my disclaimer from the last chapter, THIS MAY NOT BE PERFECT. I tried my very best to keep the moods and attidudes of the characters the same, but if some things don't seem right later in the story, don't be like, "Well, in chapter twelve, Tessa said this..." because in the original story, THIS NEVER HAPPENED. This chapter is just for fun, I tried my hand at being humorous, which may or may not have failed (you tell me), and I just wanted to write something that connects the story to the _Twilight _books a little bit more. I will gladly keep editing this chapter if you guys find any mistakes (thematic, content, or grammar-wise). Anyway, I hope you guys like it!**

***Chapter 12***

**"Shocked" Off His Feet**

Although I was resolved in my decision, I didn't want to tell Sean. Not yet. I was a little worried about his reaction, I admit. Look, I know it may seem like I didn't have my physical condition in my best interest, all things considered, but that didn't mean I wanted to go piss off a super-strong vampire because of my teenage fit of rebellion.

It was Sunday, and I was once again spending the day with the McNallys, so I would just have to keep the monster that had riled up inside of me quiet and content for the day with the satisfaction that I had already made the initial move in my plan. There was no need to start a riot today. I hoped.

As I pulled into the McNally's driveway and looked at the calm exterior of the building, I was mentally planning everyway to keep all conversation away from my collegial future. I could go one day without saying anything, right? I had the skills to manage one day of distracting-

I stopped right in front of the door. Something was odd. Although I didn't have supernatural hearing, I knew I could hear two unfamiliar voices laughing inside the house. Harper wasn't outside, tending to his flowers like he usually did in the early mornings when I arrived. Scarlett hadn't raced out to greet me like she always did. I hesitantly pushed open the front door and walked into the McNally's sitting room. Seven pairs of topaz eyes turned to me with identical looks of surprise.

I blinked. I blinked again. Yes, I was seeing _seven_ vampires, not the usual five. In addition to the McNallys, two new vampires, similar in appearance, were sitting on the light blue couch that faced the empty fireplace. The male was clearly tall, taller than Sean, perhaps around the same height as Roger, with light, blond hair. He looked very German-Arian in his features. The girl was almost tiny in comparison, perhaps around five feet, but she shared his white-blond hair, also cut rather short. Her delicate features reminded me of a Christmas Angel, and her laugh tinkled like jingle bells.

"Tessa!" Sean looked up at me happily, "This is Peter and Charlotte, our friends from the war." He said this casually, as if the "war" was equal in sense to "middle school."

"Oh! You're Tessa?" Charlotte sang. "I'm so glad we got the chance to meet you! Sean hasn't stopped talking about you since we arrived."

I was still a little shocked to see the two. I had read a little about them in the _Twilight _books, but didn't humor myself that I knew them, like I did Alice, Bella, or Edward.

Peter stood up and walked over to me, graciously reaching out his arm to shake hands. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Tessa. I hope you aren't intimidated by our visit, I realize it's not everyday that you meet a new vampire. I assure you that I can't smell your blood any more than Sean can." As odd as his introduction was, it was reassuring.

"Oh! Thank you! It's… nice to meet you too. Don't worry, I'm not afraid or anything," I mumbled nervously.

Sean laughed. "I think Tess's just startled. We didn't exactly have a warning that you would be coming."

"No warning?" Charlotte asked, her brows furrowed in confusion. "I thought Lisa could see us coming?" Oh dear, she had spoken the taboo. The whole room froze in an unnatural tension, until Alison finally spoke.

"Er, Lisa has, uh, recently left us." She said gently, insinuating that it was not a topic they often brought up.

"Oh, my…" Charlotte trailed off, concern covering her face.

"So, Tessa!" Roger suddenly burst enthusiastically, cutting the unease in the room, "I bet you haven't eaten yet. Sean! Someone's got to put some food in this girl's stomach! Who's it gonna be?"

The room rumbled with a new excitement as my stomach simultaneously rumbled with a hungry I had been ignoring for months.

"Oh! I want to cook! Please, you _know _I'm the best cook here!" Scarlett whined.

"I believe it's my turn," Alison said casually, but with direction to her words.

"Wait, you guys all cook for her?" Charlotte asked. "That's so cute! Why not let Peter and I try?"

Sean eyed them suspiciously. "Do you know _how _to cook?"

Peter laughed while Charlotte stared Sean down with near contempt. "_Yes_, I can cook, moron. I took lessons from Edward Cullen, and he certainly did it for a number of years!"

"Yes, but has your food been tested by someone who can actually taste it?" Sean continued.

If Charlotte could blush I think she would have. She stared abashedly at the floor while Peter's laughter grew.

"Yes, Seth tried her cooking, and nearly choked it was so overly spiced," he chuckled.

"I was just trying to make sure it had enough flavor!" Charlotte whined. "And besides, the second time I cooked something both Seth and Halo said it was very tasty!"

"I think we should give Charlotte a chance," I suggested. All eyes turned to me, expressions ranging from elated to horrified.

Charlotte beamed at me. "Yes! I swear it will taste great!" She raced over to me at vampire speed and took my hands in hers, squeezing them in a friendly gesture.

"Oh no! That's not the end of this! _I _suggest a cook off!" Scarlett countered. Her voice was lined with excitement.

"What?" Sean asked incredulously.

"A cook-off!" Scarlett repeated. "Between me and Charlotte! We'll both cook something for Tessa, and she'll tell us which is better!" Her eyes were definitely sparkling with anticipation. I could tell that in her mind, this was going to be more fun than dressing me up like a Barbie every day, and that was saying something.

"You know, I'm not actually that hungry-" I began, but Scarlett cut me off.

"I don't want to hear about how you're never hungry today, Tessa. This is going to be so much fun, and you are not going to ruin it for me."

"You know what?" Charlotte said, catching the enthusiasm, "You're on! Let's do this!"

Oh great, what had I gotten myself into? On the bright side, I didn't have to restrain myself from confronting Sean about the Dartmouth issue…

Minutes later, the stage was set. On one side of the kitchen, Charlotte and Peter were setting up their weapons of mass destruction, in this case, a long line of spices and cutlery. On the other side, Scarlett was forcing Roger into an apron while she donned a fluffy, white chef's hat.

"Alright, the rules are as follows," Harper said in a loud, announcer type voice. "You have thirty minutes each, you are preparing a breakfast meal for Tessa, you shall not cross the lines of scrimmage at any point during the cooking period, and your meal must be edible."

"And if it's not," Sean said darkly, "You have me to deal with."

Both teams had an almost devilish glows in their eyes as they appraised the tools and materials in front of them.

Harper cleared his throat. "On your mark, get set, COOK!"

The four vampires sprang to life, flitting across the kitchen at vampire speeds. Flames flew out of the stove top as Scarlett plopped on a tea kettle of water. Bits of onion peel flew into the air as Peter chopped onions at an unbelievable velocity. Charlotte was beating eggs with gusto, and I thought I saw an egg shell fly across the room and hit the back of Scarlett's hat. Roger was flying though the kitchen cabinets, looking for what I gathered was pancake mix. Peter juggled six oranges while Charlotte squeezed orange juice, not needing a juicer to crush the fruit to a pulp. Scarlett was screaming "Sous Chef!" at Roger over the screaming of the tea kettle that was boiling. It was positively chaotic, and it was only the first five minutes.

"You guys do realize how ridiculous this is, right?" I yelled over the clatter of pots and pans and the squealing tea kettle. "The fact that you're having a cook-off and none of you _eat_?"

"Hush it, Tess, I'm making magic here," Scarlett scolded from her spot in front of a cook book. "Damn it, another ingredient is listed _to taste_. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"Just guess!" Roger yelled over the spitting sounds of sizzling bacon he was cooking in a frying pan.

"You better not be _guessing_," Sean warned, putting a cold, protective hand on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes. How much of this food did they actually expect me to eat? Charlotte was pulling a pan of cinnamon buns out of the oven that were the size of dinner plates.

"Esme says these things are to die for," she said, laying the tray on a rack to cool. I could, in fact, smell the cinnamon that wafted over the whole kitchen. It was almost enticing enough for even my unenthused stomach.

"I said no dying!" Sean barked again, becoming increasingly more nervous.

"It's a figure of speech, calm down kiddo," Peter said patronizingly. Sean's grip on my shoulder tightened. Great, another bruise.

"Oops," I heard Roger utter immediately after a clatter of breaking glass pierced the air. "Alison, you weren't _terribly _fond of the blue china tea set were you?"

After another fifteen minutes of basically the same, the dining table was piled high with the fruits of their labors. On Scarlett's half there was a plate of ginormous blueberry pancakes, a plate full of crispy bacon, and a fruit salad large enough to serve my entire church congregation at a Sunday brunch, all of which were drizzled in maple syrup. There was also a kettle of hot tea with honey and cream waiting for me. One Charlotte's side were the huge cinnamon buns, expertly cooked eggs, a large plate of homemade hash browns that looked like they were perfectly seasoned, and fresh orange juice. Altogether, it was more food than I had eaten in the past week.

"Umm…. What exactly do you expect me to do here?" I asked nervously.

"Try it, of course!" Scarlett said enthusiastically.

"Are you crazy? I can't eat all of that!"

"Hmm, you're probably right. Ok, then, just take a small taste of everything."

I sighed, then subjected myself to the two meals before me. I did try a little of everything, just to be nice. I couldn't actually taste any of it, but I lied and declared Charlotte the winner, since she was a guest and all, and was full by the time I had made my way all around the table.

"Now what?" I asked, wiping my mouth from the glass of orange juice while Charlotte smiled victoriously and Scarlett sought comfort in Roger's loving arms.

"Well, I suppose we'll just wrap up everything for you to take home," Harper said. "We certainly don't need the food."

Right. It looked like I would be stopping at the church on my way home to donate a large breakfast for the next day's sunrise service.

"Wow," Charlotte sighed. "I haven't had that much fun since we visited the Denali clan last winter. Kate and Garrett always come up with something fun to do."

"Really?" I asked, intrigued by hearing the familiar names of people I had read about. "Like what?"

Peter thought for a moment then said, "Well, last time we visited, they decided to do a reenactment of the revolutionary war via snowball fight, Garrett's idea."

"The patriots won, naturally," Charlotte added. "Garrett built something like a cannon out of snow and killed all of us Red Coats."

"I'm so glad Kate and Garrett have stayed together so long," Alison said sweetly. "They are positively perfect for each other."

"Well you know he completely fell head over heels for that girl. Literally," Peter laughed.

"Yes," Charlotte agreed. "I suppose you could say the _sparks_ of love really _shocked_ him." She giggled softly.

"I'm confused," I said, missing the innuendo.

"Well, it's fairly simply, really," Peter said. "Kate has a defensive talent that physically shocks people when they touch her, and Garrett, being the dare devil he is, was so tempted to try it, he was tossed flat on his back. And just like that, he knew he had met his match."

"The shock must have awaked his feelings enough that he fell in love with her," Charlotte said. "It's very sweet, really. It's lovely to see them together."

"Right," I said, understanding a little more. "Maybe I'll get to meet them someday."

"I'm sure you will," Sean said, knowingly. I didn't comprehend what he meant by that, but I ignored it.

After the epic cook-off, Roger and Scarlett convinced us to play Frisbee in the backyard. Alison stayed inside to clean up the kitchen and pack up the food as I requested. Harper only came outside to guard his flowers from the murderous flying disc that was speeding through the air. The game mostly consisted of Roger, Scarlett, and Sean laughing as I dived for the Frisbee, missed, tripped, and fell in the mud that was left from the rain showers the evening before. After one too many trips, I took a seat on the porch swing to wipe the mud off my limbs. The teenage vampires decided to take the game farther into the woods for more of a challenge.

"You don't mind, do you, babe?" Sean asked, pecking me on my muddy cheek.

"No, don't worry about me. I'm just going to get cleaned up and have a few human moments. Go, and take as long as you like." I urged him to leave me, wanting some time to be able to breathe. That's all I needed, room to breathe.

He still looked unsure, until Charlotte said, "Go on, Sean. I'll stay with Tessa. I can tell her some stories from the old days, and we'll have a nice chat. I'm tired of playing anyway, and you know she must be." She smiled at me in a friendly way, and Sean took his cue to follow the others into the woods. Even Harper went inside, no longer needing to guard his flowers, and it was just Charlotte and I.

"You must be exhausted," Charlotte said, helping my scrape some of the mud off my elbows. "It's not easy keeping up with a bunch of vampires."

"Oh, I manage. It doesn't bother me that much, I'm used to it."

"Just like Bella," Charlotte giggled. "I never got to meet her when she was human, but I heard that she was fairly tenacious about being included in all of Edward's vampire activities."

I frowned. "I don't think I'm much like Bella at all."

"Why not?" Charlotte asked curiously. "You seem to fit in with them very well."

"Appearances can be deceiving," I whispered, but I knew that she would be able to hear me.

A look of comprehension crossed her face. "Oh, I see. You still feel strange about being here? That I can understand. It's an odd lifestyle, I know-"

"No! It's not that! It's just…" I didn't know how to explain it. "I don't feel anything when I'm here. It's like Garrett, before he was shocked by Kate. I don't _feel_. It's like I'm trying to fill the place of someone else when I'm here. I… I wish Lisa had never left." There, I had said it. I said the thing that bothered me most about the whole McNally family. The fact that it wasn't whole, and they didn't seem to notice.

"Right! Okay, I think I understand," Charlotte said. "They didn't tell me why she left, do you know?"

"No," I lied. I had already said a little too much.

"Well, I'm sure she'll come back when the time is right," she said pensively. "Lisa always has a plan. As for you, I wouldn't worry too much about fitting in. It's obvious that Sean loves you, and he cares immensely about you. He'd do anything for you!"

He'd even try to keep me from my future at Dartmouth, since he loved me so much. I put an end to my cynical thoughts there, and listened to Charlotte's story about when Edward first met Bella instead. I had already heard most of the story in the _Twilight_ books, obviously, but it was nice to hear anyway. Charlotte told me how when she and Peter visited the Cullens just after Edward ad first met Bella, he had been completely on edge during their visit, not sweet and "normal" like he usually was.

"He wasn't nearly as calm and collected as Sean is," she giggled. "Bella had completely sent him for a turn down crazy street. He could barely sit still and talk with us for five minutes, he just wanted to go see her."

"Well," Sean said, surprising me as he and the others came out of the woods, looking happy with their game, "I like to think I have a saner head on my shoulders than Edward Cullen. After all, he's the one that fell in love with one of the most tempting girls on the planet. I at least found someone who wouldn't smell like a tasty meal." He laughed at the conversation, but I was disgusted. He had practically stated that he _chose_ to fall in love with me, because it lacked complications, not because it was anything close to romantic. Sure I wasn't much of a romantic myself, but that didn't mean it shocked me that he would be so plain about it. He had made me take a detour into his life without even asking if I wanted to give up my sense of normalcy. So much for romance.

That evening I said goodbye to Peter and Charlotte, happy to have made two new friends, but glad to be getting away nevertheless. Sean kissed me goodbye in an almost showy fashion, and I drove off into the sunset with the monster inside me growling happily. I wasn't going to put up with this much longer. I was going to find some room to breathe, make my escape to Dartmouth, and find a way to feel again. Even if I needed a shock to knock me off my feet in the process.

**Please review this chapter, it's even more important that you review now since this is my first "rushed" work, and it can still be a work in process if you guys think it needs something! Thanks!**


	13. Chapter 13 Change of Plan

**A/N: Hey! So, while reading this chapter, please be a little flexible and pretend that the last chapter never happened (I mean, it _did_ happen, but we're pretending it didn't). So, going on this tangent, Tessa just mailed off her Dartmouth deposit, she decided she needed a little "breathing room" if you will, and she also has been having some pretty crazy psychic-esque dreams that are telling her to go to Dartmouth. Okay? Sounds about right? Then let's get this show on the road! _Allons-y!_ Read and review, _s'il vous plait_.**

__

I didn't know what it all meant. I didn't know why this dream had haunted me for so long, or why it seemed to be the only weapon against the numbness that had consumed my life. But I did know two things.

I _did_ need to run from Sean. No matter how perfect a boyfriend he may be, or how much I did love him, my dreams were not lying to me. I needed to run away from him.

_The other thing I knew was that Dartmouth was my escape. The dream had confirmed this as well; The streets I ran on, the familiar buildings, the woods that felt like home… They were all recognizable in my memory as the college campus I had visited in the fall. I had seen clearly in my dream every Dartmouth sweatshirt, and even the familiar street signs._

_Finally, I knew I was running in the right direction._

**Chapter 13**

**Change of Plan**

Monday morning I got up early so that I could pull myself together for once, rather than wait for Scarlett to do it. I grabbed one of the sweatshirts she had bought me, a cute pink one from American Eagle, as well as a pair of jeans that fit my newly slimmed legs tightly, so all my limbs were covered. The bruises still hadn't gone away, and I had no excuse for them that would keep me out of the guidance office for any amount of time, so hiding away in sweats and jeans, even in the warm days of April and May, was my only option. I pulled my hair into a loose ponytail that still showed off all my natural highlights from running in the rain and the sun, and I even went so far as to rub a little eyeliner under my long eyelashes. Scarlett would be proud.

I ran downstairs while trying to simultaneously pull on my sneakers, thinking that if I got to the school early enough, I could do a few laps around the track before everyone else showed up. For the first time ever, my dreaming of running all night long had filled me with energy and vigor, rather than draining me of it. However, despite my uncharacteristic morning speed, I still wasn't fast enough to beat my mother out the door.

"Tessa," she called from the kitchen, "Could you come in here please?"

I followed her voice to the kitchen table, rolling my eyes while preparing an explanation of why I was leaving so early, but her question caught me off guard.

"Why did you start a fire last night, and why were you burning all your acceptance letters?" Her face was meant to be purely quizzical, but I sensed some concern in her eyes.

"I didn't burn all of them. I saved one."

"I take it this means you decided where you're going to college, then?"

I gave her a shocked look. "You knew where I was going! Dartmouth! It's been Dartmouth since January!"

She looked sheepish as she said, "Well, yes, of course I knew you said that _then_, but you've spent an awful lot of time with Sean since, and I know you two are very close, and I wasn't sure if that might affect your decision."

Why did everyone assume that just because I had a boyfriend I would give up everything I wanted to be with him? "No, mom. It's always been Dartmouth. It still is."

She smiled with relief, finally. "I'm glad to hear that. It really did scare me, thinking that you would put your future on pause for a boy, not that I ever thought you would do something so foolish-"

"Mom," I said cutting her off, "Wait. I thought you liked Sean. Don't you?"

"Of course I do, honey. As long as you like him, I'll like him. But sometimes I do get worried about the way he acts around you… he's very… possessive. A little too mature for his age, I guess."

"What do you mean he's too possessive?"

"Well," she said considering this, "Just that he doesn't really let you do much on your own. He doesn't like to share you."

"I do plenty on my own!" I barked defensively. "I'm do track, and Sean leaves the house at seven every day. Not to mention, I spend every weekday here with you and everyone else in the family, and I spend the weekends with his family. How is that not sharing?"

She looked at me sternly. "When was the last time you went out with Carly?"

She had me there. My mouth hung wide, trying to formulate a comeback, but my mother waved her hand and continued before I had a chance to answer.

"You know, never mind. You don't need to answer that, it's none of my business. I'm just glad that you're still making good decisions. I'm very happy you'll be going to Dartmouth, it is a wonderful school." She smiled earnestly. I managed to return the smile, at least grateful that my mother was still looking out for me, not blinded by Sean's charm like so many were.

I made my way toward the door once again, but she stopped me a second time. "Uh, Tessa, aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" I asked bewildered.

"A little thing we used to call breakfast? Most important meal of the day, usually consisting of grains and protein-"

"Ok!" I ran back into the kitchen exasperated and grabbed an apple to satisfy my mother, then burst out the back door before she could complain any more.

Walking out to the car I took a big bite of the green apple. It should have been sour, but I couldn't taste any of it.

I was still fairly early to school, but I didn't go for a run like I planned. Instead, I took my French horn into the dark auditorium. I didn't play it, however. I just sat in the dark and listened to the echoes of my memories bouncing off the walls. The sound was so clear in my mind, it was better than reality. I hadn't practiced my horn any more than necessary in the months that had passed, which wouldn't fare well when I joined the Dartmouth Orchestra. I let the music in my head fall silent as I started playing the familiar notes on my horn. The hall filled with sounds equally beautiful to the ones I imagined, calling to me as if they were saying, _What kept you away for so long?_

_I don't know, _I answered.

I kept playing through the first warning bell. A few students peeked in through the hall doors to see where it was coming from, but I ignored them, until one particular face searched across the rows of seats to find me on the stage.

Carly was standing in the doorway, drawn by the sound of my music. I stopped playing and stared back at her, recognizing the hopeful look on her face. I had almost resolved to wave, or at least smile, when a sound behind me caught my attention.

"Good morning, beautiful," Sean said, handing me a cup of coffee and kissing the top of my head. "You sounded good. You haven't practiced in a while, have you?"

"No-" I stuttered, looking back at the doorway where Carly was still frozen like a deer in the headlights. She saw how I flinched when Sean kissed me. She heard the stutter in my voice.

"There you are Tessa! Thank goodness-" Scarlett was strutting across the stage now, frantically checking my appearance. "-You at least put _some_ effort into your hair this morning, I have to say, I was worried when you didn't meet me…" She followed my gaze to Carly who jumped as if shaken out of a trance and dashed away to class. Scarlett evidently decided a jumpy girl in the morning wasn't anything to worry about and turned back to me. "We're not done though," She scorned me. "I want you to meet me immediately after first period."

"Actually, Scarlett," I said, coming out of my own daze, "I think I'm good today, thanks." I smiled at her sincerely.

She looked uncertain, but let me have my way. "Ok, I guess. I'll see you at lunch then!" And she hurried off the stage to get to class, not taking the proper amount of care to act entirely human.

Sean squeezed my shoulder as he left my side to get his oboe, but I didn't notice it. Every thought was focused on Carly's expression.

She had been worried, and definitely sad, that I had done everything possible to shut her out of my life, to avoid her constant questions about Sean, hiding the truth from her because she, of all people would see through my show of happiness. But when she had looked at me playing today, I could swear that I saw an entirely new expression: Hope.

I would know for sure when I saw her in French class. She stared at me intently as soon as I entered the classroom. No sooner had Madame Newton turned her back than a hand reached across the aisle and snatched my notebook. I turned to see Carly eagerly scribbling something in the margins, then pass the book casually back to me.

_Get a pass to the bathroom in five minutes._

_Don't argue, and DON'T stand me up._

_P.S. Please._

I watched her get up and ask the teacher quietly to go to the nurse, but she flashed me a meaningful look before she left. I fought internally with myself for the five minutes, but finally gave in to the desperate longing to talk to my friend again. I dutifully asked for a pass to the bathroom and snuck down the hall as inconspicuously as I could, careful not to draw the attention of any vampires out of their classrooms. Being the only one of the hundreds of students that none of them could smell, I was the most likely of a safe passage through the school halls.

I burst through the door of the girls' bathroom and saw Carly jump at the sound. I waited for her to say something, but she just looked at me like she was shocked I had come at all.

"What did you want?" I asked, aware that my voice lacked any of the friendliness she once knew. It wasn't anything I could help, I was still numb.

"I… I wanted to see if you were really as changed as everyone said you were."

I raised my eyebrows in contempt. "Really? And your findings are…?"

"Tessa," She pleaded, "Don't be like that. You know I'm just worried about you."

"Worried about me, how? What could possibly be wrong? I'm happy, I'm top of the class, I'm doing well on the track team, and I have a boyfriend who seriously cares about me! What are you worried about?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you haven't said a word to me for three months? Or that you stopped practicing your French horn, you favorite thing in the world, until this morning? Or that you suddenly lost a ton of weight and started wearing clothes I don't even recognize? Nice sweatshirt, by the way." Her tone did not insinuate that she really liked it. She looked at my sweatshirt with disgust, probably seeing it as a symbol of my change in allegiance.

"I've been running in track, that's why I've been so busy. I'm sorry we haven't talked much…" My voice still lacked the sympathy I was wishing for.

"Yeah," Carly said bitterly, "Let me tell you something, three months ago, you _hated_ running. I've seen you out there, you run with such reckless abandon, it's like you're _trying_ to hurt yourself! What is going on, Tess? I've seen you in depressions before, but never like this-" She choked on her words, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's because of that boy, I know it is-"

"Stop. Stop!" I yelled at her, defending Sean, but also trying to protect her from the truth. "Sean is wonderful. He is the perfect boyfriend-"

"He's a thief! He stole you from all your friends, and changed everything about you! How could you let him do this to you?"

"You made me!" I yelled suddenly. "You were the one who told me to open up my heart to someone new! And here I am, in love, and you think that it's ruining me!" Sarcasm and resentment flew out of my mouth and I hated myself for it.

"Please, Tessa, how can you accuse me of wanting you to be happy? I thought he would have been good for you, we all did, but this is not what I had intended. You are _not_ happy-"

"I am happy!" I said this in such a harsh tone it contradicted itself.

"Sure you are. You know, I haven't seen you smile since January. How could you let a boy take over your life like this?" Her eyes were streaked with tears, her mascara smearing.

I was so overcome with the instinct to comfort her, I rushed over and put my arms around her in a hug. "Carly, I'm fine! Don't be so worried, I'm fine! No one is running my life except _me_. I'm sorry we've been out of touch, but so many things are going on…" More than I could possibly describe.

In the few moments that I held her, all the memories of sisterly love and friendship came back to me. I remembered the silly sleepovers, the fruitless shopping trips, the inside jokes, pinching each other during chemistry to stay awake. We had a friendship that went deeper than skin. How could I have avoided her for so long? I thanked God that I could almost feel the emotion between us again. It was just so nice to be able to talk to Carly at all.

She backed away, wiping her eyes. "I know, I know. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. Wow… I just can't believe we haven't talked for so long. I feel like I don't even know you any more. I don't even know where you're going to college!"

"Dartmouth," I said, weakly surprised. "Why does everyone suddenly doubt where I'm going to college? It's Dartmouth, it's always been Dartmouth, and, Oh yeah, _I'm going to Dartmouth!_" We both laughed and I could feel the relaxed boundaries of our relationship easing their way back into place.

"Yeah," Carly murmured, wiping her eyes one last time, but only succeeding in smearing her make-up even more, "I guess I should have known that. It's just so weird not talking to you, you know?"

"You're right," I agreed. "But I promise to call you tonight so we can catch up, if it makes you feel any better,"

"It would." She smiled so sincerely at me, my mouth automatically curled into one as well.

I laughed at the ridiculousness of her mascara. "Your face is a mess, let me help you."

I rolled up my sleeves and dampened a paper towel in one of the sinks to wipe off the black marks that were covering her cheeks. She let me clean her up then opened her eyes wide in shock at grabbed my wrist out of the air.

"Tessa-" she said, a new breed of frantic concern heavy in her voice. I looked down at my hand and saw the purple and blue bruises that had become a permanent part of my life. Carly's horror deepened as she pulled my sleeve farther up my arm, revealing more bruises. She grabbed at the bottom of my sweatshirt and yanked it up to show not only my pale stomach, but the series of purple and blue bruises that wound their way across my lower back where Sean liked to hold his arm around me.

Fear gripped at every inch of her face as she saw the extent of the inflictions on my body. "Tessa, _what has he done to you?_"

I yanked my sweatshirt back down and stepped away from her. "Carly, it's not what you think-"

"He's hurting you!" she gasped, conviction in her voice.

"No, he's not! Really, they don't hurt-"

"You're lying to me!" She screamed. Her entire body was shaking as she made the conclusions in her head.

"No! Carly, listen to me!" I ran over to her and grabbed her arms, trying to hold her still. "Listen! I know this looks awful, but it really isn't! _I have a plan!_"

"What?" She spit out at me. "How can you ignore this? This is _abuse_! You have to tell someone, Tessa!"

"No, I can't, and neither can you!"

She gasped for breath to formulate her words. "What's your plan?"

I stared at her for what felt like forever, then finally said. "Dartmouth. In only three and a half months I'll be at college, and I'll be free for most of the time. That's all I really need." The plan had become solidified in my mind all during the night. The months at college would give me the space I needed, time to think, and hopefully awaken the feelings that had gone numb, enough to know that I loved Sean and I missed him. They said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that was the least I could do for someone who loved me like he did.

"But he's _hurting _you! This is something you're supposed to report, Tess. Has he been hitting you? He's not going to let you go if he doesn't want to, that's what they always say about abusive boyfriends-"

"Stop saying things like that! Sean is not an abusive boyfriend! He loves me!"

"You really think he's going to let you leave him like that? He doesn't even let you walk to class by yourself. I hope you have a plan B. What if he tries to make you come home?"

"Then I'll run away." I could see the images of myself running along the streets, through the woods…

"I don't know, I'm so scared for you-" Carly stopped short because we both heard the terrifying sound of a door creaking. I whipped my head around to face the bathroom door, and my heart stopped when I saw a miraculously pale hand pushing it open. Scarlett must have heard my voice and decided to meet me-

No. It was even more unbelievable than that. The beautiful creature standing in front of me was none other than Lisa.

**Woohoo! Don't we just _love_ plot twists? No? Well, if you don't... you should review and tell me! And if you _do_, you should review anyway! HA! Love you guys! Peace out!**


	14. Chapter 14 A New Ally

**A/N: Hey everyone! So, sorry for my little cliff-hanger yesterday (heeheehee), but every authoress has a right to her tricks, and it kept you reading, right? Right. So, now vindicated, I presesnt you with chapter 14 (Yay!!!!!). As always, READ! REVIEW! CHECKOUT THE PLAYLIST! REVIEW! And, oh wait, there was something else... REVIEW!**

_"Then I'll run away." I could see the images of myself running along the streets, through the woods…_

_"I don't know, I'm so scared for you-" Carly stopped short because we both heard the terrifying sound of a door creaking. I whipped my head around to face the bathroom door, and my heart stopped when I saw a miraculously pale hand pushing it open. Scarlett must have heard my voice and decided to meet me-_

_No. It was even more unbelievable than that. The beautiful creature standing in front of me was none other than Lisa._

****

Chapter 14

A New Ally

I was dead. We both were. This was what my mind was screaming at me as soon as I saw her shove the door closed behind her, but before I had time to react, she spoke and said the absolute last thing I would have expected.

"Don't be scared. I'm here to help you."

I blinked furiously. I gasped for breath. I even felt like I was going to fall over, but nothing changed the sparkling clear image in front of me. Carly caught me and tried to hold me upright, but Lisa rushed forward and held me instead, issuing instructions.

"Listen; this is very important; You must go back to class and tell Madame Newton that you found Tessa throwing up in the bathroom and you're going to help her down to the nurse. Then meet us in the parking lot outside of the girls' locker room. I _will_ explain everything as soon as I can, but we have to get away from the school first. No one can know what is going to happen."

Carly looked doubtful, but a glance at me made up her mind, and she rushed out of the bathroom.

Lisa sat me up straight and looked into my eyes, calculating my expression.

"Are you alright? Do you understand what I'm asking of you?"

"Yes, I understand," I said faintly, blinking one last time to make sure that I was still seeing the pale girl in front of me. "Could you just tell me one thing, though?"

"That depends, but I'll try."

"You're not going to kill me, are you?"

Lisa rolled her eyes with exaggeration. "Not even on my agenda. Now come on." She lifted me up onto her shoulder effortlessly and moved to the window, cracking it open and somehow shimmying us out and onto the ground. She didn't put me down though, and instead ran around the side of the building, ducking around windows, to the side of the gym where a shiny back sport car waited for us just outside the girls' locker room. She only put me down when we had reached the car, and shoved me in the passenger seat, already on the other side, turning the ignition.

"What is your plan?" I asked hurriedly.

"First, to get us as far away from Hardgrave as possible before Sean realizes that you're missing."

"And then…?" I urged.

"And then, hopefully work out how exactly you're going to get away from him permanently."

"You say that like it's possible," I grumbled sarcastically.

She turned to look at me, a grave expression on her face. "Oh, it's possible. And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure it happens."

"Why?" I asked, incredulously. "I mean, it's not like you were ever my biggest fan. Why would you put yourself up against your family for my sake?"

She sighed before answering. "Because, I happen to love my family, and I want what's best for them, and _you_ are not it." Her tone assured me that if I was suspecting any secret friendliness hidden under her rough exterior, I was mistaken. She did say she _wasn't _going to kill me, right? Would I be able to tell if she was lying? Oh man, what had I gotten myself into

Just then, Carly crept out of the door to the girl's locker room, and ran over the car, jumping into the backseat as Lisa peeled out of the parking lot. In no less than three minutes, we were on the expressway heading south towards Providence.

"Ok," Carly began, her voice calm and steady, but forceful. "Someone better start explaining, and I mean now."

"Girl's day out?" I suggested meekly. She didn't buy my joke.

"Well, Tessa, I suppose you should start by explaining the truth about Sean. Everything will be easier to understand that way."

"Are you sure?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes," She answered firmly. Carly looked at me, waiting.

"Ok," I began, slowly. "Do you remember the _Twilight_ books I read over winter break?"

"You mean those horrible books that Sam forced me to read in February? Yeah, I remember them. What about it?"

"Hey!" I bantered, "I like those books!"

"Please, they are so lame!" Carly chided.

I was about to make another retort, but Lisa barked, "Get to the point, Tess!"

"Right, sorry." I couldn't bring myself to say it, it all sounded so stupid in my head. "The thing about those books is… there's more fact to them than fiction."

"Elaborate, please."

I took a deep breath for the hard part. "Sean's a vampire."

She stared at me, mouth open and eyes blinking furiously. "Wait… Pause, rewind. _What?_"

"Sean's a vampire. His whole family is. I found out in February, and I've been keeping the secret ever since."

"Ok, freeze!" Carly yelled, processing information. "You're telling me that Sean is one of the ultra pale, insanely gorgeous, blood-drinking, car-lifting, sparkle-in-the-sun, super strong, incredibly fast, immortal vampires that are in those books?"

"The same."

"Look, kid, I think you've been drinking too much of the Kool-aid. Newsflash: _Vampires don't exist!_"

"I beg to differ," Lisa said very coolly. She flashed Carly a smile of her impeccably white, and razor sharp teeth. Carly gasped and fell backward onto the leather seats.

"Oh… my… God…"

"I know,' I said hurriedly, "I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. That's why I have the bruises, why I stopped talking to you and everyone else, why I don't come to school when it's sunny out-"

"Wait!" She said abruptly, "You're not a vampire too, are you?"

"No! Of course not!" I screamed. "Don't be stupid! I meant that Sean doesn't let me go anywhere without him, excepting track practice. He's attached to me like a magnet."

"He isn't… attracted to your blood is he?"

"No!" I almost laughed. "They're vegetarians, just like the ones in the books. And my blood doesn't smell like a normal human's blood does, so I'm safe."

"Umm, I wouldn't say that, seeing as you've already admitted that you need to get away from him."

"I meant for some time, not forever," I said defensively. "I just need air, that's all."

"I hate to break it you," Lisa laughed sharply, "But forever is exactly what you need. More than you know."

"Don't be silly," I said, "Sean would never hurt me."

"Listen, girl, I'm not talking about any infliction of pain, I'm talking about your life."

"I don't understand."

Lisa pulled over into the break down lane and turned in her seat to face me.

"Sean wants to change you into a vampire."

I laughed. It just seemed so ridiculous in my head. "No he doesn't! Why would he do that?"

"Because he thinks you're his soul mate that he's meant to spend the rest of eternity with."

I just stared at her, disbelieving.

"Umm, call me crazy, but wasn't it _you_ that said the 'only way to be friends with humans is if their heart stops beating'? Isn't this what you want? For me to become a vampire? Aren't _you_ the enemy here?"

"Believe me, the _last _thing I want is for you to become a vampire."

"Then you want me to die, then, is that it? So much for a safe car ride, I'm out of here-"

"Don't be ridiculous! I already told you, I'm not going to kill you! I'm probably the only one of my little _family_-" She said the word with utter disgust. "-who is actually concerned with keeping you alive."

"And why is that?" I asked skeptically.

This surprisingly caught her off guard. She hesitated, then said, "That I can't tell you. But you should trust me when I say that Sean _is_ the enemy in this case."

"Really? How so, if he's so in love with me he want's to spend the rest of eternity with me? What about my being his 'soul mate' or whatever?"

"That would make sense, except that you're not." My mouth dropped wide open in shock. "Don't doubt me, you know it's true. Deep inside, you know that you don't love him like that. You know that you couldn't be happy with him forever."

"Of course I know that!" I laughed. "I _never _planned on forever! We don't even have the same taste in music! How do _you_ know it?"

"Please, I know Sean told you about my ability." Lisa rolled her eyes at my confusion. "I thought he was the idiot in this situation. I told him the first day he met you that you weren't the one, and he didn't believe me! None of them did. They were all so convinced that my vision was failing me, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!"

"What vision?" Carly asked me quietly.

"Lisa can see the future," I explained, "Or at least parts of it."

"I can see what will make someone happy," she added. "What road they must take to achieve their goals, where to go to find what they are looking for. Sean was looking for love, and he didn't believe me when I told him you weren't the one. He somehow deluded himself into thinking that you were the love of his life."

"This still doesn't explain why we're plotting to sneak Tessa out of the state," Carly prompted. "Or how we're going to accomplish it."

"We're doing this because it's the only way to save her life, the beating-heart, pumping-blood part of it, anyway. How we're going to do it is still a little elusive to me, but it involves you going to Dartmouth."

"Well, I figured that much out on my own," I said vexed. "If I'm away at college he won't be hanging around me every second, just as I said."

"No, it's something more than that," She said, her forehead creased and her eyes shut in concentration. "It's so frustrating, I can't see why you need to be there. If it were up to me I'd send you all the way to Canada, but there's just this gaping hole in my vision-"

"Maybe you aren't seeing everything perfectly," I pondered, concerned. "Sean said that-"

"There's nothing wrong with my foresight!" She snapped, her eyes piercing into me. "Sean's conclusions are blatantly biased and inaccurate. The only thing that ever affects my vision is being near Roger, because he's _always_ happy. I do sort of go numb when I'm around him, but this is something completely different."

"Wait," Carly called our attention, "What are we going to do during the three months before she leaves for college? Cause, personally, I don't like having Tessa around this guy who's clearly not good for her. I mean, just look at her arms-"

"Will you stop picking on my bruises? They don't hurt, ok? I'm not in any pain."

"You're numb, aren't you?" Lisa asked suddenly, looking at me intently.

I gawked at her. "What do you mean?"

She grabbed my hand and moved her fingers lightly across the tops. "Do you feel this?"

"You're touching my hand."

"Yes, but do you feel the cold?" I didn't answer. She looked at Carly. "Pinch her, will you?"

"What?" Carly objected skeptically.

"Just do it, please." Carly reached over and pinched my hand. I didn't even flinch. She did it again. Nothing.

"What's wrong with her?" She asked, fear in her voice.

"Her body has shut off all its normal senses as a defense mechanism. It just means that we need to get her away from the source of the pain sooner, which brings me back to my original point."

"Hey, listen!" I yelled, yanking my limbs back. "You're not going to take me away now! It would break Sean's heart if I just disappeared! Besides, we still have a month left of school-"

"I don't want you hanging around with someone who's hurting you any longer than you have to!" Carly rebuked.

"Carly, you don't understand. I love him. No, not in the same way you love Mike, but enough that _I_ don't want to hurt _him_. He's terrified at the thought of losing me. I'm not going to up and leave now, without any warning. At least he'll be ready for me to leave for college."

"But tell me one thing; you do want to get away from him?"

"Yes. I do."

She looked between Lisa and I, and I could almost see the cogs turning in her head. "Here's my idea. We finish out school, graduate, the works. You spend as much time with me, and as little time with him, as possible. Then, right after graduation, we leave. Go on vacation. Go _somewhere_. Just you and I, and then we'll go straight to college together. Dartmouth is only thirty miles from New England College, it would make sense to go together. This way, you won't see him all summer. You'll be _safe_-"

"I'm just going to leave all summer? And do what? Get a job? Sit on a beach somewhere? It's your plan, you tell me."

She smiled with a glimmer of excitement in her eye. "How does a road trip sound?"

It sounded ridiculous. But now that I thought about it, a road trip with my best friend wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. We could go to all those theme parks and historical places we always said we wanted to go, and visit my grandparents out west, and maybe even spend a few days at the beach. Just the two of us and our favorite CD's…

She saw me deliberating and her grin grew. "See? Wouldn't it be fun? Oh please, please say yes! It would be the best summer we ever had! And we wouldn't have to worry about money since I got a huge scholarships and my parents gave me half its worth to spend on whatever I want, and we could drive down to the beaches in North Carolina, or maybe out to California, since you've never been there, or up to your folk's place in Canada…"

She kept planning, and the excitement kept building, but I was still lost in thought.

It was possible. I could make an escape. Even when I had put my deposit for Dartmouth in the mail, I didn't think that it would come to this extreme. I just couldn't imagine any way that Sean would truly let me go, forever. I figured that someday I would have to make the uneasy choice between life and immortality, and I could only hope that my heart was intact enough to know what choice I was making. I didn't feel like Bella had felt in the _Twilight_ books, so sure that she wanted to be a vampire. I couldn't even imagine it as a possible future. My mind told me it was, but my heart was utterly silent on the topic. I was stuck.

But if there was a way that I _could_ avoid that decision, would I do it? Carly seemed to feel that I could just hide from him, and be able to live my life. If there was anyone that _could _hide from a vampire, it would be me.

My options just seemed incomplete. Something was missing, just like Lisa had said. Something I couldn't see…

What I could see was Carly's eager face, pleading with me to give life a chance. Wishing it for her best friend.

"Ok," I finally agreed. "We'll go on a road tip for our last summer as reckless adolescents."

She squealed with delight. "Yes! It will be so much fun! I promise!"

Lisa rolled her eyes at the infantile glee. "Ok, that's the plan. You two will hit the road, and I'll stay close to Hardgrave to keep an eye on Sean and the rest of them. You can't tell him where you're going to go, or that you're not coming back before the summer is up. This is what has to happen," she said with certainty. "We can't tell _anyone_ what was discussed in this car," she said even more firmly, looking at Carly.

"I know how to keep a secret," Carly replied defensively.

"It's not you I'm judging, it's a general dislike for your species." Lisa turned around and restarted the car, while Carly glared at the back of her head, but she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze that was a combination of fear, sympathy, worry, care, and excitement.

We had a plan.

**REVIEW!!!!!! I will not stop singing Dashboard Confessional songs until I get my first review, which is going to make my brother very angry with me (and he's armed with nerf guns!!! yikes!!!)****, so please review soon!!!! Love you guys!**


	15. Chapter 15 Cutting the Cord

**A/N: Ok, this is a short chapter, I know, and nothing really happens... It sortof just lays out things you already knew, which is still important, but not quite as exciting. Maybe I'll post another chapter today to make up for it, but I should probably try and get some homework done first... Alright, you know the deal: I post chapters, you read them, you leave an awesome comment if so inclined, (PLEASE!!!!!! *begging ferociously while on hands and knees*), and I'll post another chapter super soon! Oh, and if you have any questions, I'll do my very best to answer them! Hokey Dokey! (Yeah, I went there).**

**Chapter 15**

**Cutting the Cord**

Carly dropped me off at school late that day so I could drive my car home. Lisa had made her escape at the edge of town so that she could return to the McNally house in the woods. Her story would be that she had come to school to see how unhappy her family was, but saw the opposite and had discarded her pervious prejudices in order to stay with the McNallys. She figured this alibi would account for any traces of her scent that would be discovered on the school grounds, and give her a reason to stick around, mainly so that she could keep an eye on me.

Of course, I wasn't at all surprised to see Sean sitting on the trunk of my car, waiting for my return. Carly pulled into the parking lot, a safe distance away from Sean, giving me a special, comforting smile and a squeeze of the hand as I got out.

As soon as she had driven away, Sean raced toward me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I could sense the fear and worry he had felt under his cold, heavy arms.

"Thank goodness," he gasped, head buried in my hair. "I have been worried sick. Where have you been? You just disappeared, and I couldn't follow your smell-"

"I was with Carly," I said happily, supplying the story we had rehearsed. "She decided to kidnap me for a senior skip day, seeing as we haven't spent so much time together lately, with track and school going on. I had a really great time!"

He pulled away so he could look at my face when I said this. I layered my voice with convincing cheerfulness, and plastered a wide grin on my face.

"Really," I continued. "It was one of the best days I've ever had! We went hiking in Plymouth, and we ate lunch at this really nice restaurant…" He seemed to relax as I provided more details. "Where did you think I was?" I asked carefully.

His brow furrowed as the glimmer of fear flickered in his eyes again. "Well, I had no idea. You didn't leave any note, or call, but I searched around the school and found-" He stopped abruptly, and I knew what he was going to say.

"You found what?" I asked innocently.

He hesitated, then answered, "I smelled Lisa. She had left a fresh trail. I was afraid she had taken you away."

"Lisa's back?" I asked, feigning blithe surprise. "Your family must be so happy!"

"Yes," He answered, vexation still present in his voice. "She returned to our family this afternoon. Scarlett called to let me know, since I stayed behind to wait for you. Lisa promised them she had nothing to do with your disappearance, but I couldn't be sure until I saw you. I'm so relieved to know you're all right."

I laughed lightly, "I'm fine! Really, you worry too much about me." I smiled sweetly. "Do you really think your sister would hurt me? I know we haven't been close in the past, but maybe this is a chance for me to finally get to know her!"

He finally returned my smile. "I hope you are right. Perhaps she's finally gotten over her silly premonitions. I hope the two of you will be friends," he said with a new finality.

I allowed him to believe the lies I fed him. However, I knew that there were some important things he needed to know as well, and it was best to get them out in the open sooner, rather than later.

"Sean, do you think we could go for a walk? There are some things I want to talk to you about."

His face lit up with curiosity. "Of course!" We began walking towards one of the paths that led through the woods behind the school.

"It's about where I'm going to college, and I would like you to keep and open mind," I added quickly. He remained silent, so I continued. "I've decided that I'm going to Dartmouth. No negotiations!" I said hastily, seeing that he was about to open his mouth to argue. "It's what I want. It's my _dream_, and it always has been. Nothing is going to change that. I've already sent in my deposit." He looked at the ground, still not speaking, but a look of sadness on his face. "I know you're worried about us being together when I'm away, but we can still visit on the weekends, and call each other, and write-" I tried to think of other reassuring things that would make him accept my decision. "I just hope you'll understand that this is my choice, and I'm going to stick to it," I said weakly.

He looked at me finally, those golden eyes burning into mine. "I just don't _understand_-" his voice was raspy and pained, "-How do you expect us to be together when I only get to see you once a month, or however often I can make it up there to visit you? I need to be near you! Why is this such an important decision?"

I looked at him, astonished. "What do you mean, why is it important? I'm only going to college once! It's incredibly important!"

He laughed mockingly. "_I've_ been through college eight times. Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be."

"Maybe not to someone who can relive their college years through infinity, but for a _normal human_, like myself, it is kind of a big deal!"

Sean looked at me very seriously then, and said in his softest, most convincing voice, "Tessa, it doesn't have to be like that. You could go as many times as you liked, if that was what you really wanted. You could have all the time in the world."

I gasped, and stumbled backward as he finally voiced what I had known were his intents all along. "You mean, if I became like you?"

"Yes," he said, staring at me, begging me to agree to his wishes. Fortunately, his will-bending gaze had no power over me.

"So _this _is what you want for me!" I spit at him, shoving my way past his body which had begun to cave in around me. "How could you even say such a thing! Why would you ever think that I would want that?" I didn't know why I was reacting so harshly; Lisa had told me that this was exactly what he was thinking, only a few hours ago. Yet hearing him say it aloud brought about an echo of anger inside of me that I was only just beginning to re-familiarize with.

"Why would I think that?" He replied sharply, the hurt evident in his voice, "Because we are in love, and this is what we do! We enjoy a happily ever after; together, forever! Just like all the others of my kind. You didn't expect to break up and move on like a typical high school romance, did you?"

Was it what I expected? No, but it was what I wanted. Rather than answer him, I began running down the trail, away from him.

He was at my side before I had even put a distance between us, halting me with a tug on my arm. "Tessa, just stop for a second, will you? I'm sorry, let me apologize."

I turned to face him, but took my arm out of his icy grip.

"I'm sorry I reacted so harshly. I understand that you want to go to Dartmouth, and I will not stand in your way." He paused, then continued. "But I will not take back what I said about turning you into one of us. I know it came as a surprise, but it is something I want you to think very seriously about. You don't have to answer me now, in a week, or even in a year. You'll have plenty of time to think about it, because I'm not going anywhere. I'll be waiting when you're ready. You can go to college, or even go to graduate school, and I won't say a single complaint! But just promise me that you'll think about my offer."

He stared at me pleadingly, until I nodded a yes, and he forced a weak smile on his face. "Good," he said, then took my hand and walked me out of the woods. "I suppose I can handle you being away at college," he said more to himself than to me. "After all, I will be able to visit often, and we'll have the whole summer together-"

"Oh!" I cried out abruptly, remembering the second item of importance that I had meant to tell him. "About this summer… I won't be here. I'm going on vacation with Carly."

He blinked at me in utter disbelief. "_What?_"

I smiled sheepishly. "Well, today we made plans to go on a road trip for the whole summer, just the two of us, our last hurrah before college-"

Sean let out a loud and ferocious howl of frustration, pounding a tree at the side of the trail, which promptly broke at the roots and tumbled through the surrounding branches and leaves to the ground. I shook with fright at this display of strength and anger.

"You're _leaving me? _For the _whole summer?_"

"Yes," I said, trying to keep my voice steady and firm. "Again, this is something I _want _to do, you can't stop me."

"Oh, watch me-" He began with a boiling with rage, but pulled himself back into a mere steaming composure. He breathed heavily, and his shoulders shook, but the anger was gone from his face. It was an impressive show of self control. "Tessa," he whined, "Why do you do this to me? I have to let you go, you know that. I _wish_ I could keep you with me for every hour of every day, but I don't want to see you unhappy." The resignation settled in his face, and he reached up to gently stroke my cheek. "Is there no way that you would change your mind?"

"No," I answered resolutely. "I'm sorry…" My words trailed off, meaningless as they were.

"No, Tessa, don't apologize," he said softly. "There is nothing to blame in wanting to spend time with you friend. I know I have somewhat monopolized your time in the past few months. I know you'll enjoy going on vacation. I just have a hard time grasping the idea of being stuck here when you're off on an adventure." He smiled a crooked grin and me and put his arm over my shoulder, once again leading us out of the woods and back to my car that was still parked outside the school. The sun was hovering over the horizon, as if it were waiting for us to leave before it set.

"If you love somebody, let them go," I whispered meekly.

"If they return, they were always yours," Sean finished confidently.

If they don't, the wind whispered in my ear, they never were.

**And then the wind whispered _Reviewwwwwwwwww............ _Hmm, I'm not one to reckon with a force of nature, but you can decide for yourself :) I know! If I get AT LEAST FIVE (5!!!!!) reviews, I _promise _to update again today!!!! So let's see those reviews!!!! Love you guys!**


	16. Chapter 16 Making A Hole

**A/N: As promised, here is my SECOND chapter today (Woohoo!!!). We're already more than halfway through the story, so I need to stop being so nice and updating all the time! Then the story will be over all too soon, and then WHAT will I do with my time, I ask you? To those of you who haven't read it on my profile or heard it from me personally, I suffer from severe senioritis (definition: the tendency to ignore all work and responsibility during final year of highschool) (who am I kidding? I'm not suffering, I enjoy every minute of my slacking!), so I NEED something to keep my mind off homework and school... anyway, I'm done blabbing. Chapter 16, GO!**

**P.S. REVIEW!!!!!!! I reply to all reviews! I'm friendly! Please review!**

**Chapter 16**

**Making A Hole**

Of all the feelings that could permeate my wall of defense, it figured it would be guilt. Guilt hung heavy in the air around me like an unpleasant taste in my mouth. It rang in every word I said, every decision I made from that day forward. Now that Lisa was back at the McNally house, the new taboo was my trip in the summer. It was either not mentioned, or ignored. Alison and Harper would talk about exciting summertime activities, and not acknowledge that I wasn't going to be there. Then my guilt would kick in, and I almost regretted that I would miss the moments of Sean and I on the porch swing in summer wear, while Harper worked the garden to full summer bloom, and Roger and Scarlett rallied me into another game of Frisbee. Alison had even mentioned buying a top of the market outdoor grill, should I ever get a craving for a picnic at their house.

It was an appealing image, and it was certainly tempting, but I had made my decision. Or, according to Lisa, it had been made for me. She claimed that my future was clear up until I was settled at Dartmouth. She saw Carly and I driving off into the sunset, and leaving Sean far behind us…

…Which I felt guilty about. Despite the massive betrayal I had already committed, Sean was still as sweet and charming as ever, if not more so. He was the most perfect and caring boyfriend I could ask for, and I was so completely undeserving.

The day after my runaway episode, he brought me flowers to apologize for _his_ harsh words. He also asked me to attend the prom with him, brandishing tickets he had bought early by charming the prom committee head, Mrs. Flack. I could only imagine the flurry he could have put the poor woman in, using his dazzling powers to acquire such a favor. He even agreed to sit with my friends at lunch, since Carly was now refusing to let me leave her side during school hours. We commandeered a new table, half occupied by my old, familiar friends, minus a few faces, and half occupied by the beautiful, statuesque vampires of Hardgrave.

As if he could sense that I was planning on cutting him out of my life, Sean gave me every reason not to. Our hours spent together were packed with laughs and fun. He teased me sweetly, and I returned his flirtatious banter. His embraces were tighter, and his kisses were longer. The permanent presence of his arm around my shoulder no longer made me flinch, but was almost relaxing as the days became warmer, and I was still stuck in long pants and sweatshirts, covered with bruises as I was. The time we spent together flew by, and I enjoyed myself more than I had all year.

I really did love Sean, as much as it scared me.

It also helped that my classes were finally winding down. The whole senior class seemed to be on the same high, induced by anticipation, and the long-awaited glimpses of the end, not far off. Track was coming to an end as well. I was still running everyday, but there was only one meet left, in which I was likely to do well. Sometimes Sean came running with me, though it was no effort on his part. He could run faster than most cars.

Now that I had finally made a decision to leave, I was reconsidering my motives more and more.

Would a life with Sean really be so awful? Sure, I know that it's a little cliché to marry your high school honey, but no one could argue that we were both mature beyond our years. Him, especially. It wasn't just the life that scared me though; it was the eternity.

I had said it myself, long ago, before the option was even before me: Who would I want to live with, if I had to live forever? At the time, it had been no one. That same answer still held true. Well, maybe my dog.

It was that gut reaction that assured my choice; Sean was _not_ the person I would spend forever with, despite the fact that he was the only one offering.

I now had a sharp pair of eyes on me at all times, if there had been any signs of weakness. Carly was doing her best to monitor me at school, and Lisa was my new best friend at the McNally household. Her family had welcomed her back with open arms, just as she predicted they would. The day after our conspiracy began, Sean brought me to his house and Lisa made a big show of apologizing to me in front of her family.

Sean had led me into the living room where everyone was gathered as witnesses, or perhaps as protection if they suspected any foul play on her part. The only trick she had up her sleeve was the one we had planned the day before.

"Tessa," she said, her voice an effortless display of shame, "I am so sorry that I judged you, especially since I didn't even know you. Sean is lucky that he has finally found someone to love, and I would like the opportunity to get to know you, if you'll forgive me for my horrid display of behavior in the past?" She looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes, the perfect image of remorse. I felt sure that I was the only one who noticed the mocking laugh dancing around her amber irises.

"Of course," I answered her sweetly. "It's all in the past." And the odd charade somehow convinced them. Alison let out a sigh of relief, Harper flashed a wide, paternal grin, Roger and Scarlett commended Lisa for her good conduct, and Sean squeezed my hand with an extra ounce of comfort.

We were incredible actors. With only a few staged conversations and played-up games of scrabble, Lisa and I were able to portray the closest of friends. She may have gone overboard a little, constantly squealing about how excited she was for the day when I became a vampire whenever her family was around, and gushing about how cute Sean and I were together. When we were alone, I made sure to give her flack for that. However, most often having her on my side was a good thing. It was nice to have someone looking out for me, when I so rarely looked out for myself.

One day at lunch, Sean was talking about the end of the year festivities, when I suddenly jumped at a realization.

"I've got a limo booked for the prom," he was saying to Carly, who was already showing some pre-party stress, "which you are welcome to use. I'm sure Tessa was planning on having you there anyhow, and we have plenty of room."

"Really?" Sam asked, cutting into the conversation. "Do you think my date and I could come too? We've been looking for a ride, too."

"Yeah, of course you can. Just be sure to tell him that it's going to be a straight edge limo; no, ahem," he cleared his throat to emphasize his point, "illegal substances. I think my father was planning on doing pictures and corsages at our house, you should come for that too. Our garden is beautiful this time of year, it would be a good place for it. Speaking of corsages, Tessa? What color is your dress? I would like to plan accordingly."

My breath froze in my chest and I couldn't speak. A small truth had dawned on me. I had been so worried about getting away from Hardgrave during the summer, I had neglected the details of the events proceeding it.

I sent a panicked look across the table at Lisa who spoke up on my behalf.

"Oh, Sean, I thought I told you? I already ordered all the corsages for prom, party planner that I am. Don't worry about a thing! Besides, now you can be surprised when you see her! Hey Tess, would you come with me to the bathroom? I want to check my make up." She tacked on the last bit and I willingly followed her like a little red wagon.

As soon as we entered the bathroom, my silent spell broke.

"Lisa, I can't go to prom. I totally forgot to get a dress! How could I even _wear_ a dress when my arms look like _this?_" I rolled up the sleeves of my sweatshirt to show the colorful display of bruises that reminded me of every loving hug and squeeze from Sean's all too-strong arms.

She briefly appraised my painted limbs, but then looked at me with no expression of surprise or anxiousness.

"Tessa? Why are you worrying? Did you really think I would forget about that?" She scoffed. "I already got you a dress, and yes, it will keep your secret safe, so stop fretting, right now."

"You got me a dress?" I asked surprised. "Without telling me?"

"Of course I did! Honestly, you are so wrapped up in whatever it is you think you need to be worrying about, I couldn't possibly expect you to be able to take care of yourself-" She didn't hold off on the disdain that hung heavy on every word. "You humans forget _everything_, and you're so self-absorbed-"

"Thank you." She stopped ranting when I spoke my words of sincere gratitude. For that second, her expression didn't have the same contempt or scorn that I expected from her. It didn't last long though.

"Well, I don't see why you're thanking me, it's not as if you particularly care what kind of dress you wear, as long as it covers you from head to foot."

"I do too care!"

"You do not! Otherwise you would have remembered to get one yourself! At the very least ,the first thing you would have said would have been 'Oh no! All the good dresses will be sold out by now!' not, 'Oh no! I can't possibly wear a dress that would expose me to be a stupid human who somehow likes to keep myself near pain-'"

"Can I see it?" I asked, my excitement overriding her sneering attitude.

She rolled her eyes and pulled a notebook out of her bag, flipping to a page where a picture had been taped in. There was writing around it, most of which I couldn't read, as she apparently like to write her notes in German, excepting a caption below the photo that said, "Tessa's Dress."

It was white, long-sleeved, and floor-length. The style reminded me of renaissance gowns, but it was made out of a lighter, shiner fabric that made it contemporary. It miraculously wasn't too fancy, nor did it resemble a wedding gown. The very front had a simple pattern of rhinestones that made it sparkle under the flash of the camera. It was absolutely nothing I would have picked out for myself, but it was perfect nevertheless.

"Oh, Lisa, thank you!" I ambushed her with a hug which she almost immediately wormed her way out of.

"Eww, get off me. I'm glad you're happy and all, but keep your hands to yourself."

I smiled earnestly at her. "Thank you. It really is beautiful."

And we left without another word.

****

***

Before we knew it, Prom was only days away. Lisa and Scarlett had me tied down to a chair in Lisa's room, testing different hair styles and make-up to make me glam for the big night.

"No, don't use blue eye shadow! It makes her look like a hooker!" Lisa squealed.

"And you would know that _how?_" The two vampires giggled as they continued to play dress up with me as their life size Barbie.

"I want to see how the dress fits her," Scarlett said, finally releasing the iron grip she had on my hair. They had somehow figured out a way to style my hair so that gently curled locks swept around my neck, hiding one outstanding bruise. Scarlett was blissfully unaware of how I got that bruise, and she had objected to leaving my hair down for its sake.

"Couldn't we just cover it with makeup or something? A white dress _needs _an up-do!"

"That would be fine, except I think Tessa would rather _not_ have an entire bottle of foundation on the back of her neck, and we also don't want to run the risk of making her look like it's her wedding day." I was grateful for Lisa coming to my defense.

"Why not?" Scarlett retorted. "It'd be a good hint for Sean, right?" She winked at me and I made a show of silently retching when she turned away, which forced a laugh out of Lisa.

I finally got to try on the beautiful dress, and it fit my newly-slimmed body like a glove. Lisa had been good at guessing my size. The skirt flowed around my legs, and the fabric was light enough that I didn't mind that it had long sleeves.

"You'll be cooler than most people anyway," Lisa pointed out, "Since you'll be dancing with a vampire."

"Who are you bringing to the dance, Lisa?" I asked casually, not thinking about what I was saying. Scarlett's sharp intake of breath and Lisa's silence brought me back to reality.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-" I stuttered, but Lisa held up a hand to silence me.

"Shh, don't worry about it. I'm going stag."

"You mean you didn't invite anyone from school?"

"Ha! Like I could stand spending the night hanging off the neck of some human!" She laughing scornfully. "No offense."

"None taken."

"Actually, I thought about inviting Caleb-" she said this with a wild glimmer in her eye, glancing at Scarlett who laughed out loud, "-but he said he couldn't last a limo ride with Carly and her boyfriend."

"Who's Caleb?" I asked, observing that Scarlett still laughing.

"He's a vampire who had the hots for Lisa a few years back. He tried to convince her to leave us and join him in a life of, ahem, _thrill_," She giggled, and I got the gist that he wasn't one of the "vegetarian" vampires. "He thinks of himself as something of a lady killer. No one broke his confidence like Lisa did. After she told him no, he ran away faster than a starved vampire on the hunt."

"Faster than a werewolf with a broken heart!" Lisa laughed with her, almost rolling over in a fit of humor.

"I can't imagine that he would turn you down on any offer that would involve spending time with you," Scarlett said musingly.

"Oh yes he would; just one, actually. My offer was that if he laid a hand on a single human the entire evening, I would _personally _rip him limb from limb and torch his pathetic remains. He didn't like that offer much at all." She let out one last devilish laugh, then turned back to me. "Alright, enough dress-up; get out of that gown before you get it dirty."

I complied and handed the dress to Scarlett who went to hang it up in her walk-in closet. While we were alone, I felt brave enough to ask the question that had been on my mind.

"Do you miss him terribly? Joseph, I mean?"

She was quiet, and her face reflected a sad and painful gray.

"More than your simple human mind could imagine."

"It's not something you can get over, is it?"

"No. Love is a little different for our kind than for yours; we have all of eternity to find our soul mates, so we don't settle for someone were merely get along with, or someone we simply find attractive. Our soul mate completes us, and there is no changing it, or settling for someone else. Joseph was the _only _one that I could ever be happy with, that I could ever love. When I look at other men, it's like I don't even see them. I don't see their faces. They are nothing to him."

I watched her while she was talking. As a vampire, she could stand still as stone for ages; vampires didn't need movement like humans did, to reawaken limbs, or as involuntary reactions. Yet when she talked about Joseph, it looked as if she was involuntarily collapsing in on herself, like there was a void in her center. I rushed forward and carefully put my arms around her, since I knew she didn't like me touching her. She didn't push me away, but let me bring her into a warm- literally- embrace.

After a few silent minutes, she pulled my tight arms off of her with ease and said, "Sean will be back from his hunting trip in a few minutes, I'm going to bring you home."

I knew that we wouldn't mention the incident again, but I had gotten all the information I needed. That empty space that Lisa felt in the absence of her love was nonexistent in me. Sean wasn't filling a gap I had never known was there. He didn't fit into my life like someone who was always meant to be there. He was certainly trying to carve his own whole, but for once my human skin was tougher than a vampire's.

***To the tune of the seven dwarfs song* **

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**(Coming soon, Tessa's Prom!!!!!)**


	17. Chapter 17 Thoughts on Prom Night

**A/N: Voila, Tessa's Prom! I admit that I didn't get into the usual flashy, formal, exciting prom that we all know and love. I'm not really big on the party scene... So, this is my rendition, and I hope that you guys like it. However, if anyone thinks they could do better and take over, I am totally willing to give out the rights to do a one shot of Tessa's prom! Just let me know. Oh, and REVIEW!!!! As always :)**

_Sean wasn't filling a gap I had never known was there. He didn't fit into my life like someone who was always meant to be there. He was certainly trying to carve his own hole, but for once my human skin was tougher than a vampire's._

****

Chapter 17

Thoughts On Prom Night

Prom night was upon us. Scarlett and Lisa rushed me out of school as fast as possible, less than a full second after the bell rang, flying at vampire speeds before any other students had even left their classrooms. I squealed asking them to put me down when they literally lifted me from my classroom and sped down the empty hallways, but we were outside before I had even finished uttering my first word. I was left to sit dizzied in my backseat as Scarlett drove my car to their home where the beautifying commenced.

I was able to entertain myself through the hours of makeup, hair, and nail polish with my i-pod and my paperback copy of _Twilight_. This, both my vampire friends found very amusing.

"Oh god, you're not reading that again?" Scarlett laughed and she worked her way towards making my hair curl again.

I smiled at her. "Yes, I most certainly am. Why can't I enjoy some contemporary fiction? Besides, if I recall, there's a scene where Bella goes to the Prom-"

"Now _that_ is fiction," Lisa said. "No man, or vampire for that matter, could ever get Bella Cullen to go to a dance."

"It's true," Scarlett agreed. "Bella Cullen is possibly the first vampire in history to have two left feet. She wouldn't even dance at her own wedding!"

"My point is, I can enjoy some light reading if I want to. Especially if you are subjecting me to sit perfectly still for the next three hours."

"Jane Austen is good contemporary fiction, none of this _Twilight _beeswax. I mean, the title doesn't even have any symbolic or metaphorical meaning for the story!" Lisa scoffed.

"I hate to break it to you, but Jane Austen isn't exactly 'contemporary fiction' anymore; that's what people these days call _classics_," I teased. Lisa just glared at me.

"I loved Jane Austen," Scarlett gushed. "No one can write romance like her. I can never decide which I like best though, _Pride and Prejudice, _or_ Persuasion_?"

"I just read _Persuasion_," I chipped in.

"Really?" Lisa asked, giving me a meaningful look. "And how did you like it?"

I shrugged, but kept her gaze. "I didn't think much of it."

Scarlett went on to praise the quality of romantic fiction, and I turned on my music.

Three hours and twelve minutes later I was primped to the nines, wearing my beautiful dress and descending the stairs of the McNally house to see Sean waiting for me in a crisp black tux with a white vest and a white rose corsage. He greeted me with a quick kiss and let me wrap the corsage's ribbon around my own wrist.

"You look beautiful," he said confidently, smiling diamonds at me.

"Oh, she looks alright," Roger joked, also clad in a sharp-looking tux with a dark purple vest and a matching bowtie. "I mean, I've seen worse." He smiled a wide, friendly grin, and I returned the favor. "Now that," he said, cocking his head back toward the staircase, "Is beautiful."

Scarlett followed my trail down the stairs slowly, so as to draw out the full effect of her entrance. Her dress was a slim fit, shockingly dark purple that made her pale skin shine like ivory, and accentuated all her perfect curves. Her hair tumbled off the top of her head in beautiful blonde curls, and a large purple stone hung from a silver chain around her neck. The sight would have broken a weaker man's heart, but Roger fortunately had a heart of stone. Literally.

"I'm pulling for Prom Queen, what do you think?" She said coyly, twirling at the bottom so that her curls bounced and her skirt swished around her slim legs.

"You are flawless," I sighed.

"Duh," Roger said unabashed, pulling her into a sweeping kiss that made me blush and look away. I was just able to catch the sight of Lisa descending the staircase in her own softly glam makeover. She had arranged her smooth, black hair to fall straight and delicately around her shoulders, and she wore a short, shiny, black baby-doll dress. The look was subtle, yet still breathtakingly beautiful.

"Are we about ready to go?" she asked, not taking her time to come down the stairs, already wearing her small corsage of baby's breath, tied with a thin, black ribbon.

"You're all ready?" I heard Alison call from the kitchen. "Then let's start taking pictures!" She entered the foyer with a large, professional looking camera, followed by Harper.

"I found the perfect place out in the yard," he said. "And there's just the right amount of clouds, so we'll have good lighting."

The McNally's skin didn't sparkle so much as it just faintly glowed under the diluted sunlight that was filtered through the consistent cover of clouds. We all took turns posing while Alison gushed over how beautiful we looked, and Harper expertly worked the camera. Carly arrived soon with her boyfriend, Mike, as did Samantha and her date, Ricky, so even more pictures were taken. Sam and Mike were looking around the simple house, sensing that something about the quite country décor was too modest for the wildly beautiful family, and Ricky was dumbstruck by Lisa's striking appearance, failing to keep his eyes on his own date. The other two couples were in blue and red, so there was a satisfying variety of color. After what felt like forever, we finally we all got into the limo that was waiting at the end of the driveway. All the boys were the utmost gentlemen, handing their dates off into the stretched car, until it was Lisa's turn to climb in. They all stood a little uncomfortably, flustered as to who would help her in until she sighed in disgust and slid in with determined gracefulness. As soon as we were all in, Ricky casually pulled a small bottle out of his jacket and took a sip.

"Anyone else want a taste?" He asked, indicating the alcohol, giving a warm look toward Lisa who returned the gesture with the signature icy-vampire glare. Carly rolled her eyes with embarrassment.

"Yeah," I said. "Hand it over here." Everyone looked at me in complete shock as I reached for the bottle. Carly was about to object when I rolled down the window and tossed the bottle into the woods.

"Hey!" Ricky exclaimed, leaning toward me menacingly, "That was hard to get!" Just as he said this, Roger put out a hand that pushed him effortlessly back into his seat.

"Sit down, kiddo," he said gruffly.

Ricky kept glaring daggers at me, so I said calmly and coolly, "I'm sorry if you misunderstood the invitation, but this is a straight-edge limo; no booze. And by the way, your boutonnière is red, so you should probably keep your eyes on the girl who's wearing that color. In case you're too slow to understand what that would imply, I mean _your date_."

The limo rumbled with chuckles and Ricky turned away from me, red-faced, to make conversation with Sam, who was oblivious that anything had happened while she tried to get the car's CD player to work. Lisa gave me a short-lived look of gratitude and then went instead to stare out the window.

It wasn't at all surprising that Scarlett, Roger, and Sean were all incredible dancers. They moved with the most elegance out of everyone on the dance floor, invoking jealousy all around. Lisa opted to spend her time sitting by the soda bar, turning down every request to dance with unrivaled enthusiasm. Scarlett did, in fact, win Prom Queen, and the shiny plastic tiara fit perfectly on top of her golden curls, something I imagined she had planned. Carly and Mike were beautiful, dancing close together all night long, with Mike whispering sweet nothings in her ear, and Carly watching me carefully through the night as Sean twirled me around the dance floor. I knew I would probably pay for my obliging dances with a new brilliantly colored set of bruises the next day, but I couldn't get away from him once during the evening. One of the downsides of having a vampire boyfriend was that he never grew tired of dancing.

The night went on like every picture-perfect Prom does, but in all honesty, I didn't savor every moment of the evening like you are supposed to; I didn't make it a night to remember when I'm old and gray and my children are asking me about my high school days. The only thing I could think about the entire evening was that graduation was a week away, and that in that many days, I would be free of the cancer that was killing me in Hardgrave; I would be free from Sean McNally.

That night when he brought me to my backdoor, he kissed me with passion, wrapping his cold hand around my neck so that I had chills all down my body, and moving his lips to evoke an equal ardor in me. When he pulled away he sighed a cold perfumed breath in my face, and I saw that a pained look of frustration was washed over his.

"Tessa," he said quietly, "I feel like I've been missing you all night. Where are you? Where is your mind?"

"I don't know," I lied, feeling guilty that he had seen through my façade with his impeccable observations. "I guess I'm just thinking about graduation a lot."

"Of course," he said, mistaking where my worries lied. "You have that speech to write."

"Speech?" I asked, surprised. "What speech?"

"Your valedictorian speech, of course," he said with a humored tone.

"Oh my goodness," I said frantically, "I totally forgot about that. I only have a week left to write it!"

"Don't worry," he said nonchalantly, "I'll help you. We'll get together tomorrow and work on it."

"I guess that's good," I said, though I wasn't sure how much help I would want from him.

"Then it's settled," he said confidently, "Though, you still haven't told me what is worrying you."

I groaned internally, kicking myself for thinking he might forget the subject he originally brought up. "You know, I think I was just bothered that I was forgetting something, and you reminded me! Everything's great now!" I added an enthusiastic smile for good measure.

"Alright then," he said, settling the matter, "Now that your mind is clear of all worries, I'm going to try again, and I'll hope for a better response." He leaned in to kiss me again. I gave my best effort to fake excitement and lust. Finally, he left me to wallow in my attitude, which was distinctly guilty.

Honestly, how horrible could one person be? I was _pretending_ to be happy all the time, and held my breath for the few moments when I _wasn't _with my boyfriend; a boyfriend who only loved me and cared for me. Yes, he had plans to take my life away from me and in turn give me immortal existence, but who else would have objected to that? I should be erecting temples and forming religions to praise him! Not counting down the seconds until I no longer had to be in his tight and loving embrace.

I tiptoed past my dad who was sleeping in an armchair by the back door, no doubt awaiting my return, and went upstairs to my room. I struggled to escape my dress, which was nearly impossible to take off by myself, and quickly changed to some comfortable sweats, pulling myself into my bed, sliding under the smooth covers.

I didn't go to sleep. I lied down, propped on my side, not even playing any music, just letting my slow breaths accompany my speeding thoughts.

There are times when you simply have to face the facts and let the chips fall where they may. In my case, I would be a high school graduate in seven days, and before you could say "safe grad night," Carly was going to whisk me off on our whirlwind, big city adventure. Or rather, the most epic road trip of our lives. And I would be saying goodbye to someone I loved, regardless that I didn't love hi to the same degree as he loved me. I would undoubtedly be hurting someone who cared for me unconditionally.

If I didn't leave, I was going to have to give up life as I knew it and willingly become a monster like Sean; a blood drinker, a cold one. I would never know true happiness, nor would I feel other emotions; pain, sorrow, anger, excitement, passion, lust. I would be stuck in time.

Neither option was anything I had ever wanted. Why me? Why my town? Why did Sean have to walk past the open auditorium doors that second that I was playing my audition piece? Was there anyway I could have avoided this scenario?

Some many people base their lives on the powers of fate, but I had never been one of them. Was there really no way I could have avoided this? I had told him the plain truth on several occasions, that I didn't love him quite the same way that he loved me, and the words had flowed past his ears like they had never existed. And thanks to Lisa, I knew I wasn't the only one who had told him. It was like an underdog complex; he had been told so many times that it couldn't be done, he was determined to prove everyone wrong.

If for no one else but Lisa, I knew that there was no way I could change my mind. I wouldn't let she who had done so much for me be left to fend for herself against the wolves. Or rather, vampires.

I drifted off to sleep, tossing these thoughts around in my mind, and found myself running once again, toward a smiling face…

**Hmmm... I wonder who it could be? Ok! I know who it is, but I'd be happy to hear your guesses! REVIEW!!!!! Love it or hate it, you gotta review!**


	18. Chapter 18 Space to Breathe

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry my chapters are getting a little shorter than the norm, I just started noticing that. I can't really help it, the story's already laid out and ready to go. **

**By the way, REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTION here: I want to change the name of my story, I called it _Plain As Day_ when I was writing it because I thought it reflected one of my main themes, but it ended up going in a different direction when I finished it, and I never changed the name. I'm thinking of calling it _Fact or Fiction?, _or _Lack of Color_ (named after a Deathcab for Cutie Song- look it up if you haven't heard it! It's also related to the fact not fiction thing). Anyway, I need more ideas, better ideas! SEND ME YOUR IDEAS!!!!! I'll take the ones I like the most and make a poll and keep it up for a week or so. Just think, YOU could be the one to rename my story! PLEASE help me out here. THANKYOU!!!! **

**And thanks to EVERYONE who has been reviewing the story, you are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, every one of those exclamation points was necessary. Love you all!**

_I drifted off to sleep, tossing these thoughts around in my mind, and found myself running once again, toward a smiling face…_

****

Chapter 18

Space To Breathe

I bolted upright in my bed. There was sunshine pouring through my windows, which was unusual, even in the spring. In fact, I had only gotten around four hours of sleep, but the hovering image from my dream had rung so solidly in my mind it had brought me prematurely out of my slumber.

I had seen a face that lacked defined features, excepting a wide smile, and I remembered I had been running towards it, full of relief and joy. The feelings I remembered from the dream were stronger than my real life emotions, so much so that my body almost tingled in the shock of it all. None of my dreams before had shown me this smiling face, but it was still more familiar to me than my own mother's smile. Most importantly, it wasn't the shining white, sharp-toothed smile of a vampire.

It was insane, thinking that my dreams were leading me toward something in the future; something clearly only a careening believer in fate and faith would be able to ponder. Yet all signs so far had been right: I was running away from Sean, running to Dartmouth, searching for a way to feel again.

I screamed into my pillow, an outcry of frustration, and got ready for when Sean would arrive to help work on my speech. I didn't care about my appearance, keeping to my sweats and just pulling my hair back in a ponytail, but I did clean my room and prepare some notes from my college essays to help in my brainstorming. I decided to put on some music and opted for a Linkin Park CD that I hadn't listen to for several weeks. I was entertaining myself, screaming along with the lyrics, when Sean walked in on my embarrassing display.

"What are you doing?" he laughed.

"Can't you tell when someone is singing?"

"I can, but that's hardly what I'd call whatever it is you're doing. What are you listening to?" he asked incredulously, looking at the empty CD case that sat on top of my stereo.

"Linkin Park, I answered simply.

"But you hate this kind of music."

"No. I don't."

He looked at me with a searching expression, then decided to solve the conflict of discussion by turning the radio off. "So, let's start with this speech, shall we?"

It was soon evident that music wasn't going to be the only difference in tastes this morning. As Sean looked over the drafts of my old college essays, clicking his tongue and sighing when he disagreed with a statement, I began reaching more and more out of the shell I had retreated to, defending my opinions.

"I just don't understand," he said, laying down one of what I thought was my better essays. "You talk so much about the importance of making good choices and deciding what to do with your life; What about the things you can't control? What about things like fate? Destiny?"

"I'm not a fan," I replied lightly. "I think there's always a choice for someone, no matter how hard their circumstances, or how limited their resources."

"I understand that, but what about things like love? You don't decide who you fall in love with."

"Don't you?" I asked coyly.

"Of course not! That's a matter left up to fate! It's why I love you so much, what brought me to the tiny town where you lived-"

"That was circumstance, not fate."

"I'm a vampire; we don't believe in coincidence."

"_That_ sounds pretty unbelievable to me."

"You claim that fate has nothing to do with how things will play out in life?"

"No! I do have faith in some things. I believe that fate exists; it will bring you to certain points in your life, but from there you have to make choices, for better or for worse."

Sean scoffed at me. "I don't know if I've ever met anyone who weighed so much on choice. Most people are so quick to believe that the troubles in their life are in no way self-inflicted, but you run in the opposite direction."

His words echoed in my mind, making more of a mental connection than he had intended, but I didn't comment.

"I'm writing my speech about making good choices. It certainly seems like the best kind of advice I can give to my fellow classmates."

I thought I distinctly heard Sean mumble something like, "Choice is overrated," but the clicking of my fingers on the keyboard of my computer drowned his side comments.

Sean suddenly stopped the movement of my fingers with his hand. His brow was furrowed as he formulated words from the thoughts that had popped into his head.

"Is this why you're going to Dartmouth? Because you think that is where fate is bringing you? And that you can only make the right choices from there?"

I was surprised by his conjecture, but answered as honestly as I could. "I suppose so, but I think going there is a choice as well-"

"Why would you have to go away to make a good choice?" He asked, ignoring the second half of my answer. "Whatever choice you make, I will want to be there for you!"

"Ok, now I honestly don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't you?" He asked, looking even more confused. "The choice to be with me, forever? Letting me change you, remember? You promised you would think about it. If you're going away so that when you decide I won't be upset with you, then you don't have to worry. I will still love you, no matter what you decide."

I was shocked that this was where his mental wanderings had led him. "I know you'll always love me, Sean. That had nothing to do with why I'm leaving."

"Then why?" he asked, pain entirely evident in his face.

I did the hard thing and put my hands on his cheeks as I said as calmly and slowly s I could manage, "Because I really do want to go to college, and I don't think some time apart is going to hurt us one bit. I have no reason not to go. You already said that you'll always love me, so why is this such a big deal for _you?_"

He paused, considering my question, then answered, "I guess… I just don't want to lose you. For all I know, some college guy is going to snatch you up, and then where would I be?"

"You're not seriously jealous, are you?"

"Can't I be?"

"I don't know, it just seems silly… An all-powerful vampire, jealous of some human boy who takes a fancy to me of all people-"

"Now stop that, right now. You know you are devastatingly beautiful."

I laughed. "Yeah, okay," I said sarcastically. Sean just wrapped me in a hug as a response and kissed my cheek.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said, though I could feel the pain of the words sinking into me like poison.

Later that day, and almost everyday for the rest of the week, Carly came over to help me pack up my things for our trip, as well as for college. It was crazy that I was already saying goodbye; it felt like just yesterday that I had painted my room the four shades of purple that covered my walls, though it had been in eighth grade. Not so long ago that I had hung the various Beatles posters all over my walls, but they had been there for all four of my high school years. And now that I was moving all my clothes, books, pictures and knickknacks into boxes for storage, the room looked incredibly bare and sad.

I sighed repeatedly as I looked around my naked room.

"Oh stop whining already!" Carly cried out after my twelfth sigh in a row. "You know it's for the best. Besides, it's not like you even cared that much for this room anyway; it was always such a mess!"

"Hey!" I objected, "I love my clutter! What if I get a roommate in college who's a freak like you and keeps everything obsessively clean? I'll be miserable."

"Better miserable than missing things that are necessary for life and hygiene. Seriously, if I didn't come in and clean your room annually, you wouldn't have been able to find anything! We would be packing up seven hairbrushes instead of the two that I had to consistently locate for you throughout the years."

I didn't pose a rebuttal, but instead continued to mope around my room. That was when I caught her in the act, packing one of my swimsuits in the duffle that I was taking on the road with us.

"What are you doing? I can't wear that!"

"What are you talking about?" She asked naively, looking down at the bikini. "You lost all that weight, it'll look great on you-"

"Um, hello?" I said, pulling up the bottom of my long-sleeved t-shirt to reveal the bruises that wrapped their way around my stomach and lower back.

"Oh please," she said, tossing the swimsuit back into my duffle, "As soon as you're away from Sean those bruises will be gone in no time."

"Really? You think so?" I asked, looking at my stomach once again and pondering for the first time this possibility. "They've just become such a big part of my life, I can't imagine them not being there…"

"Wow, you really are out of it," Carly scoffed, continuing her packing. "Thank god I'm getting you out of here, and bringing you back to planet earth." I pouted at her harsh comment, but she ignored me. "What are you wearing tomorrow for graduation?"

"Umm, cap and gown, just like everyone else."

"No," she said pointedly, "I mean under your gown."

"Oh, Lisa bought me some lightweight khaki slacks and a nice long-sleeved shirt. The weathermen say it'll be cloudy, and not too warm, so I should be fine, temperature-wise."

She was holding a pretty summer dress I had bought at the beginning of the school year on sale up in the air with a sad look on her face, and she sighed. "I wish you could wear this instead, it's so much prettier." She brightened up and packed it into my duffle.

"Ok, I am _not_ wearing that on our trip!"

"Damn right you are!" she teased. "You'll be wearing it when we're on the boardwalk by the beach. When you're back to _normal_."

"Ok, what is so _not _normal about me? Huh? Give me a reason."

"Oh, I can think of a few."

"Like what?" I said, putting my hands on my hips.

She rolled her eyes like it was terribly obvious and looked at the ceiling as she recited in a very bored voice, "Oh, I don't know; the vampire boyfriend, the collection of bruises that apparently don't hurt you at all, the obsession with running, the fact that you're valedictorian… Do you want more? I can go on."

I waved my hand to let her know that I had heard enough. I started to do my useless pacing around the empty space in my room once again, which Carly eyed, then she did something totally unexpected. She dropped the stack of clothes she was folding, and leaped at me, grabbing me around the waist and tossing both of us on top of my bed in a fit of giggles.

After we had finally relaxed to the point of being able to speak without stuttering with laughter, we looked up at the glow-in-the-dark stars I had stuck on my ceiling and Carly said, "Why are you so nervous about leaving? I thought you knew it was the right thing to do. Even Lisa said it was, and I'm not about to bet against Lisa."

I sighed one last time and said, "I don't know what's right and wrong anymore. My guidelines got blurred when my normal life took a step up to supernatural. I mean, I love Sean, I do. But it's not the _same_- it's not like Scarlett and Roger, or like you and Mike! And it's _definitely_ not like how Lisa loved Joseph." Carly had been filled in on the personal details of the McNally family during the weeks of our conspiring. "I know in my gut that he's not the one for me, but he thinks I'm the one for him so strongly, it's hard to be sure."

"Well," she said, after some thought. "Did you ever think that maybe this is what you need? Some time away, to figure it out? Here's my proposition," and she straightened herself up on the bed to present her idea, "Go with the plan, come on vacation with me, and go to college with me in the fall. If, by then, you realize that he really is the one, that you can be happy with him, maybe even forever, then I promise I won't try to stop you. I'd even drive you back to Hardgrave myself to tell him. You wouldn't lose anything by taking me up on the offer, except one summer. And what's one summer to the infinity of summers you'll have, if you decide to take that road?" She looked to me, but I didn't raise any objections. "I just don't want to lose you now, when you have other choices," she said finally.

"What choices do I have?" I whispered, my voice trembling, moved by the immense love and caring between us.

"I don't know, it's a mystery." She smiled and me and gave me a tight, best-friend hug. The best kind that I knew.

**Review Review Review! And send me ideas for a new, better title!!!!!**


	19. Chapter 19 Saying Goodbye

**A/N: Ahhhhhhh!!!! Ok, I know, this chapter is _wicked_ short, I'm sorry!!!! But, I'm willing to make it up to you! It won't take much effort, just a little detective work... (Hey, nobody said you could get extra chapters for free). I have cleverly hidden a lyric from one of my favorite songs in this chapter, and if you can tell me the name of the song and the band that sings it, I will post the next chapter TODAY! Yay! Isn't this fun and exciting! Because of my little scavenger hunt, I won't be updating the playlist just yet (no clues! Ok, well, maybe I'll leave _one_ clue...) because the song is on it. Anyway, good luck! I hope someone figures it out! **

**Oh! And the "Rename My Story" Challenge is still on the table. Send me your suggestions! I want to put up the poll sometime this weekend! **

**Alright, on with the story...**

**Chapter 19**

**Saying Goodbye**

The next morning, the morning of my graduation, my mother found me sitting in my room on my bed, wearing pajamas with polar bears on them and a Styrofoam princess crown, curled up in a ball under the blankets, drinking a homemade milkshake through a chocolate cereal straw, and staring at her with wide eyes of terror.

She laughed as she said, "Are you ready to grow up yet, sweetie?"

"No," I said, with infantile fear.

She sat down next to me and wrapped her warm arms around me, rubbing my back comfortingly. "Well, I think that you're more grown up than you know. Your father and I are so incredibly proud of you. We really couldn't be happier for you today. You've done some incredible things in the past twelve years, we couldn't ask for anything more. I think it's wonderful that you and Carly are going on this trip together. It's a wonderful opportunity for you too see as much of the world as you can before going off to college. And all of us will be there on your first day at Dartmouth!"

I looked up into my mother's caring eyes and smiled back to her. "I did ok, I guess, didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did."

"Aren't you going to miss me?"

She looked at me with humor in her eyes now. "Silly question. Now get ready to go, it's a big day."

I got dressed it my boring but conservative graduation outfit, and even did my hair up so it would look nice under the graduation cap. My mother had made me a large plate of waffles with fresh strawberries and whip cream which I ate quickly, and the whole family got in the car to go to the school for the grand ceremony. There was a flurry of blue and white everywhere as all the graduating seniors rushed around to get ready, or to find their friends. More than twelve girls were in all out tears, clutching at one another like it was the last time they would every see each other. For me, it was very likely the last time that I would see any of them, but I couldn't cry. My wall of defense was too strong, even for that.

Family and friends were piling into the bleachers or gather around the sidelines of the football field. The field was covered in rows of folding chairs, specially laid out for the graduating class. We had hours of practice during the week, filing in and out of the rows in alphabetical order like it was our job. I was at the front of the rows however, since I was valedictorian, I wasn't stuck between the chatty Meghan Cadigan who was already in tears, or Steven Campbell, who like to mumble to himself a lot. I could see the administrators and the public speakers gathered around the podium that faced the audience, apparently oblivious to the waves of emotion and energy that were coming off of the mass of teenagers behind them. The band was struggling to play a solid march while Mr. Culvert waved his arms pointedly, trying to get their attention back to the tempo, and I heard Samantha chatting loudly with Ricky who looked like he was in pain, "I am _so _glad I'm not playing with them today. I think I'm going to go home and _burn_ my flute!"

The procession began. Our principal and superintendent both gave long, boring speeches. Despite the cloud cover, everyone was complaining about the heat. I could see my family sitting in the bleachers smiling at me, and not far away was Sean's family; Sean, Alison, Harper, Scarlett, and Lisa. Roger was in the graduating class with me. Sean caught my eye and gave me an extra big smile.

It was my turn to talk. As I walked up to the podium, some freshman girls from the track team screamed "Yeah, Tessa!" and I heard a few whoops from the band as well. I didn't know I was so popular. The principal shook my hand and mumbled a congratulations of sorts. I cleared my throat.

"Well, we're finally here." There was a low rumble of cheers from the students behind me. "It's been four long years, yet it feels like just yesterday that we walked through those school doors as wide-eyed freshmen, unsure what the future would bring us. The reality is, however, we've brought ourselves to the future." I paused for dramatic effect. "A long series of difficult choices and decisions have brought you here, Hardgrave seniors, and I congratulate you for making it this far. You made the right choices." Another rumble of whoops and hollers swept across the mass. "I encourage all of you to continue the trend. Do your best in every aspect of life. Don't leave things up to fate, because fate will never take you as far as you can take yourself." I could see Sean rolling his eyes as I said this, but he kept smiling at me. "As we've heard many times before, from many different people, it is the choices that we make that run the course of our lives. It is our choices that determine who we are. As newly graduated seniors, entering the adult world, everyone has a right to be nervous, and unsure where they want to go, or who they want to be, but the only mistake you could possibly make would be to do nothing, and watch your life fly by from the side lines. Have the courage to make the important choices that will mold your life into everything you ever wanted it to be. I am so glad to have been a part of this school and this community." I paused, ready for the big finale that would send everyone into cheers.

"Congratulations, Hardgrave Class of 2009: We did it!" In a Legally Blonde-esque fashion, I sent my congratulations out to my fellow seniors and smiled a wide, happy grin, and took my step down from the podium.

Shortly following, we were all presented with our diplomas. I received mine first, and my family and friends all cheered to an embarrassing degree. I watched my classmates follow my lead, one by one, until we all had our diplomas and the superintendent announced us as the official graduating class. Suddenly, all our caps were above our head in the air, and cheers were all I could hear.

It was over. I was officially a high school graduate. I was leaving home forever.

The first person to tackle me was Carly, naturally, and soon all of my family and Sean's family had gathered around where we were standing. My parents eyed the McNally's with the appropriate amount of awe and fear while everyone gave the seniors of the group a good pat on the back for our accomplishment. It was then that I noticed everyone was holding a wrapped package of sorts, something they had clearly planned for our departure.

My mom gave me a new digital camera, "So you can take as many pictures as you want of your trip and send them to us!" Scarlett got me a very pretty journal that already had pictures of all my friends and family in it, even a picture of my dog. Sean gave me a cell-phone that had unlimited calling time, under the condition that I promised to call him and my family every other day. I agreed.

My dad gave me an nice card that had a joke in it, along with some extra cash, "for non-fashion related emergencies only."

My favorite gift, though, was a Dartmouth sweatshirt from Lisa. She gave me a wide, showy smile that put Sean's frown out of mind when she handed it over, and I immediately pulled it on in trade for my white graduation gown.

The time finally came when there was nothing left to do but say goodbye. Carly's car, packed full with our travel gear, was waiting for us in the school parking lot, and we were ready to go. My mom cried when she said goodbye, and even my dad sounded a little emotional. Sean openly kissed me in front of everyone, and let his sad, loving eyes be the last thing I saw of him before I left. As we pulled out down the road, I saw my mom and brother waving in the rearview mirror. Carly had turned on the music and cranked it. I rolled down my window, and stuck my hand out, floating on the air. With a flick of the wrist, I was waving a goodbye.

**Ok, so, my one and only clue for you: The song is by my favorite band. Good luck!!!! Review Please!!!!! Love you all!!!!**


	20. Chapter 20 Hiding From the Moon

**A/N: Hey Everyone! Sorry no one won the lyrics challenge, the song was _So Long, So Long _by my all-time favorite band, Dashboard Confessional! The lyrics were at the very end of the chapter, _Hand out the window, floating on air, and with a flick of the wrist, I'm waving a goodbye_. It's one of my favorite songs, and I also used that same lyric for my senior quote! Anyways, it's an awesome song and I wrote the last chapter with it in mind, so if you want to look it up, go for it. **

**So, this next chapter skips ahead a little (sorry if you were expecting an account of the totally awesome Carly-Tessa roadtrip. I figured that since the point of the trip was to get _away_ from the vampires in Tessa's life, it wouldn't exactly qualify as fanfiction...). I hope you like this next chapter! Enjoy and review!**

**P.S. Playlist is officially updated! Check it out!**

**Chapter 20**

**Hiding From the Moon**

**Three Months Later**

"Mom!" I screamed, as I got out of Carly's car and ran across a paved parking lot to hug my family whom I hadn't seen in almost three months. My whole family- even Hugo!- was waiting to meet me at Dartmouth College on move-in day. It was sunny out, and I was showing off my recently tanned limbs in the pretty sundress Carly had packed so wisely for me so long ago. In the past months, my body had healed more than I could have imagined. The bruises were gone, as was the numbness, and I was almost back to "normal," as Carly put it. I had laughed and smiled more in the past week than I had in six months, and still nothing compared to the moment when I got out of the car to greet my family whom I had missed so much. Everyone was happily chatting and telling stories, even Carly had flowed into the conversation with ease. I caught my brother eying her tan, slimmed body- when did he started checking out girls?- just before I smacked him over the head and wrapped him in a sisterly bear hug.

We walked over to freshman check in, and stories started to flow out. Where we had been- North Carolina, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Harpers Ferry, New York City, Louisville, and even a small town in Washington called Forks. We never made it to California, but we did visit the Second Largest Farmer's Market in the world. We spent our final two weeks on the boardwalk by the beach, just as Carly had promised we would, and the two of us had made a scrap book of our adventures in our final week which I promised to show them when we got everything set up in my dorm room.

The guy at check-in was definitely checking me out, something that shocked me, but I was aware that I was slimmer and tanner than I had ever been, and being with my family had brought a light and happiness into my face. I had somehow lucked out to get a single dorm, so my fears of having a roommate obsessed with organizing my socks were calmed. My whole family and Carly all helped me carry my boxes and bags of stuff up to my room.

It was on the second floor of a building at the edge of campus. Near the woods, but a little far from the dining hall. I figured this would probably be to my benefit, as I would at least work off some of the calories of late night snacking by having to walk a quarter mile to the cafeteria, if I didn't squash the cravings just by the thought of going that far. Some RA had taped a pink sign decorated with crayon colored flowers on my door that said TESSA CALDER, so I knew I had the right room. It was smaller than Scarlett's walk-in closet, barely fitting a bed and a desk, but there was a window that had a view of the woods which I liked a lot. It was comfy; it felt like home.

My parents were still talking to Carly about the trip, and she was showing them some pages from our scrapbook, particularly the pictures from the beach where the two of us were running around in the waves, wearing bikinis and amazingly resembling two completely normal teenage girls. I, of course, had a stack of pictures ready for my mom; doubles of all our photos, including ones of me in front of almost every identifiable monument in the United States, and she gave me a big kiss on top of my head and thanked me when I presented them to her.

We decided to go to lunch since the day was still young. I had been all for trying out the cafeteria, but my parents convinced me that I would be sick of the cafeteria food before the week was even up, so instead we went to a nice diner in town.

Minutes after we sat down, my cell-phone rang in my purse, and I knew there was only one person who would be calling me.

"Excuse me, guys, I have to take this." I smiled sheepishly as John mumbled something that sounded like, "Stupid boyfriend," and Carly gave me the same worried look that flew across her face every time my phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked once I was safely outside.

"Hey babe," I heard a familiar, smooth, cool-as-ice voice in my ear. "What are you doing right now?" he asked in the same excited tone he used whenever he talked to me.

"Um, well I just sat down to eat lunch. We made it to Hanover!"

He laughed. "Lisa said she thought you were probably at lunch. She's getting better and better at guessing these things, maybe she hasn't lost her talents after all!" He was more right than he thought. I distinctly heard Lisa in the background saying, "And I'm still waiting for you to stop betting against me!"

"Yeah," I said happily, "I'm a college girl now. I've got my own dorm room and everything."

"That's great," he said. "I wish I could be there with you, but the weathermen said it was going to be incredibly sunny in Hanover, New Hampshire today, and that doesn't do well for a vampire, does it?"

"No, not at all," I laughed. "And it _is _very sunny today. You would be miserable."

"That, or I would be scaring away every other freshman at Dartmouth." I could almost hear him smile. I guess I missed that smile a little, if only as proof that I hadn't been through some kind of psychological lapse in sanity during my six months of winter.

"I'm sure you'll be here visiting me soon," I said, every ounce of truth intact.

"You bet I will be. I'm driving up next weekend, and we'll finally be together. I can hardly wait, can you?" He was so excited and happy, all I could do was lie.

"Yeah, I'm thrilled. Can't wait!"

The fact of the matter was, despite the three months separation, I wasn't any closer to knowing what kind of a relationship I wanted to have with Sean. Though my body was healed, and the physical numbness was gone, my emotions were as frozen and opaque as ice. The only hint I had was that I had managed to spend three months away from him without desperately trying to get on a plane, bus, or train to get back to him, something that all the stories of true love assured me was not possible. Of course, those were stories, works of fiction. Real love wasn't nearly the same. I knew my parents were in love, and they didn't go crazy when they were apart. There was no reason that I couldn't be in love for Sean and not be so different from them.

So why was my gut telling me to stop being so sensible?

We talked about the trip a little, and then I told him I had to get back to lunch, so he said he loved me and hung up.

When I returned to the lunch table, everyone was already ordering, so I hurriedly asked for whatever Carly was having, and let the waitress put in our order.

"So how is Sean?" my mom asked casually. Carly was already eying me to see my reaction.

"He's fine," I said. "He's coming to visit next weekend." In my peripheral vision, I saw Carly twitch when I said this, and revert her startled gaze to her empty placemat.

"That's nice," my mom said, folding her napkin over her lap. "I haven't seen much of him this summer. I suppose he's busy with his family?"

"Yes, he and his brother went on an extended camping trip."

"Really?" My dad asked, curious. "Where to?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. All I knew was that it involved a lot of hunting and no artillery.

"Don't you think you'll be a little busy for a visit, so early in the school year?" Carly asked casually, still not meeting my gaze. "I mean, orchestra rehearsals start this week, as well as classes. I know my schedule would be too packed."

"My real classes don't start for another week, and I already know all the orchestra music. I think I'll find time for him. It's only fair," I reasoned, "I mean, I haven't seen him all summer."

"I guess you're right," she conceded, and she finally looked up at me, and I saw why she had avoided my gaze. Her eyes were full of fear.

I reached under the table and squeezed her hand. Trying as hard as I could to send her a mental message, I thought, _It will be alright, I promise._

The rest of the day was spent touring the campus with my parents, and walking with my brother and Hugo in the woods. I knew immediately that the wooden trails were going to be my favorite part about Dartmouth. I would go running everyday for the rest of my life if I got to run in those woods.

Eventually everyone had to leave. Carly had to check in at New England College the next day, and my family was going to make the long drive home. I hugged everyone for a long time, and even cried when I had to say goodbye to my best friend who had been with me for every moment of the best summer I had ever had. I especially hated saying goodbye to Hugo, who let me hug him for the first time in months, just like the old days, before I spent so much time with vampires.

And then I was alone. I made my way up to my dorm room, passing other students who were happily bopping around from room to room, making introductions, and laughing loudly with the excitement of college life running through their veins. I went about unpacking, hanging clothes in my joke of a closet, organizing my CDs on their shelf in alphabetical order, plugging in my mini-fridge, stereo, and baby-sized TV. The room was just about starting to look like home when I hung up my posters and pictures, and I relaxed into the ease of living by myself, even if it was for the first time.

Several people stopped by to introduce themselves throughout the night. I didn't remember most of them, but a few stayed stuck in my mind because I would be seeing them in orchestra rehearsal the next day. Chelsea, the violinist; Sasha, the cellist; Barbara, who played percussion; Sandra, who struck me as a Type A, stuck-up flute player, but was somehow dragged along to meet people with Barbara; and Lindsey, a sweet trumpet player who knocked on my door just as I was sitting down to watch the movie _When Harry Met Sally_.

"Hello?" She called, peering around the edge of my open door.

"Hi, I said, turning to see a small girl with straight, brown hair, wearing a dark green Dartmouth t-shirt that looked like it was brand new. He had a sweet face and kind, hazel eyes. She cautiously stepped through the doorway, so as to show that she didn't want to intrude, and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Lindsey. My room-" she pointed outside the door, "-is just down the hall. I saw everyone else going around introducing themselves, so I thought I would too. It's my first year here…"

"Mine too!" I said quickly, to avoid embarrassing her. She was sweet, and I didn't mind talking to her like I did Barbara and Sandra.

"So, what classes are you taking?" she asked, glancing around my room and spotting my large CD collection. "Any music classes?"

"Yeah, actually. I'm in the Music Ed program. I have orchestra rehearsal tomorrow."

"Really? Me too! What do you play?"

"The French horn."

"Awesome! I play trumpet!" We both smiled at this small similarity. Then she noticed what I was watching. "Oh my God, I _love _this movie, it's so funny!"

"Really? You want to watch it with me?" I gladly offered, happy that I had found someone nice so quickly.

"Sure! How about I go grab some popcorn? Do you mind if I bring some friends, too?"

"If you think they'll fit in here," I laughed, gesturing at the minimal free space in my room.

A few minutes later she returned with a bowl of popcorn and two friends, Tabitha, who went by Tabby, and Deirdre. Deirdre was another music student that Lindsey had met, and Tabby was Lindsey's roommate. The four of us were amazingly comfortable sprawled across my bed and floor, watching the movie on the tiny TV screen. We laughed and told stories and enjoyed ourselves sincerely, all happy that we weren't spending our first night at college alone.

It wasn't until somewhere close to three in the morning that I was finally able to go to sleep, still in a good mood from my entertaining evening, but looking out my window at the moon, I remembered why I was really there in the first place. I was in hiding, trying to get away from Sean McNally. Lisa had promised to get me this far, but what was next? What on earth was there that could deter a vampire? Looking at the dark clear night, I could see Sean's smiling face etched in the pale moon, and it sent shivers down my spine.

**Some additional listening that isn't on the playlist, but I think goes with the end of this chapter pretty well, _You Are The Moon_, by The Hush Sound. REVIEW IT! Come on, how else am I going to occupy my time other than reading your wonderful reviews? I'll tell you- cleaning my room. I HATE cleaning my room. So, if you think keeping my room a cluttered mess is in my best interest (it soooooooo is) then REVIEW! Love you guys! Keep reading!**


	21. Chapter 21 Lost and Found

**A/N: Ok everyone, I am _very _excited about this chapter, and you should be too. Why is that? Because _this _is the chapter where absolutely every one of your question WILL BE ANSWERED! No, really this is the single most pivotal chapter in the entire story- basically, this is where it _really _gets good. It's my biggest plot twist of them all, and it's my total favorite! THIS IS THE CLIMAX PEOPLE! GET EXCITED!!!!!!!! **

**Ok, rant aside, this is a really important chapter, I pulled out some serious twists, and I need to hear what you guys think! I expect _at least _TEN reviews, I know twice that is reading this story. Some of you may hate what I've done, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, LOVE IT OR HATE, YOU'VE GOT TO _REVIEW _IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care if it's a week after I've posted it (or even a month if it comes down to that), I always reply to my reviews and I love getting them at any time.**

**Love you guys!**

**Chapter 21**

**Lost and Found**

Carly had been right to assume that I would be busy the following week. Between orchestra rehearsals, and my private lessons with the school's horn professor, I spent more time in a practice room than I did in my dorm room. This included the time spent sleeping. I knew I wasn't alone, though. All of my friends from Orchestra were feeling the pressure of playing at the college level. Those of us who needed more work to get there practiced into the early morning hours. Lindsey was making jokes about moving her bed into one of the practice rooms so as to maximize convenience.

Before I knew it, Saturday had arrived, and brought with it the promise of Sean McNally's visit. My busy schedule was the only thing that had kept him away during the week. I had assured him that I was too busy running across campus to rehearsals to have time to even say hello to him, and he had complied by staying away. However, there were no rehearsals on the weekends, so I had no excuse to avoid him. I slept late, and ran over to the dining hall around ten to get breakfast, aware of the heavy, gray clouds that had blown in overnight.

After breakfast, I decided to go for a run through the woods as I had done every free minute I had during the week. I had already found my favorite trail, one that was infrequently used and wound its way through the thick forest so that there were places where even the bright sun couldn't break through the heavy foliage. On those sunny days, I ran under a dancing green light that bounced off everything; on cloudy days, like today, the dark woods hid in shadows, keeping secrets from me. It was altogether to much for me not to love it.

Sean had told me the night before he would arrive around noon, so I made my way back to my dorm and got cleaned up enough that I was presentable, wearing jeans and my own dark green Dartmouth t-shirt. I was taking a risk, leaving my arms bare when I would be spending time with Sean, but I was hoping there would be a way to avoid him touching me.

I ran outside, waving to Lindsey and Tabby when I passed their room, thinking I would wait for Sean on one of the benches by the parking lot, when no sooner had I stepped out of the building than I saw him making vampire strides towards me.

Suddenly he had me in his arms.

"Tessa! Oh, I've missed you so much. You look so different; so tan, so warm."

I wasn't warm anymore. His icy embrace gave me goose-bumps all over my body. The warm day in early autumn might as well have been in the dead of winter.

He let go of me and I got a good look at him. He was exactly the same. It felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me, but there was absolutely no difference in him from the day of my graduation. Same short blonde hair, same devastatingly beautiful features, same amber eyes, glowing with happiness.

"I've missed you too!" I lied.

"Of course you have," he said, oblivious of my falsity, taking my hand in his and walking with me around the large lawn of the campus.

We told each other stories about our summers, me providing him with tales of the places I had seen, and the discomfort of sleeping in thee backseat of Carly's car, him with narratives of his and Roger's hunting trip in Canada. He assured me that everyone in the McNally family was doing well, that Scarlett and Lisa were amusing themselves by working summer jobs at a fast-food burger joint, and Harper's garden was at the height of its splendor.

We had lunch in the school cafeteria, and I was very self-conscious that every girl, and even some of the boys, were watching him very closely. I didn't recognize anyone, except Sandra the flautist, who left almost as soon as she saw Sean was with me.

Soon we were back outside and talking again. Just as I had feared, I was relapsing back into the numbness, and I was afraid to spend much more time with him. I tried telling Sean about my busy schedule, to insinuate that I couldn't talk all afternoon, but he remained completely obtuse. I offered to play Frisbee, so at least he would let go of my arm, but he said he'd rather not just then.

I was running out of ideas, and we were running out of things to talk about, and soon he brought up the most difficult subject of all.

"So," he said, "You've had a whole summer to think about my offer. Have you come to a decision yet?"

"What offer?" I asked with false naivety.

He turned to look at me very seriously, holding me by both arms. "My offer to… make you one of us. My offer to be with you forever. Surely you've given it some consideration? You promised you would."

I had done that, hadn't I? Damn. I couldn't lie my way out of this one. Instead, I worked my way around the question.

"Have you ever tried to change someone before?"

My question didn't have anything close to the reaction I expected. A sudden wave of guilt and sadness swept through his eyes, and his face became impossibly paler. I caught this reaction before he had time to hide, and urged him on to tell me what had caused it. "What's wrong? You have to tell me!"

He waited for a long while, then told me in his cold, calm voice, "Yes. I have tried to change someone before. I was hoping you wouldn't ask this question, but I cannot lie to you, now that it is out in the open." He stopped, struggling to approach the topic, and both sympathy for his pain, and fear of what was causing it coursed through me.

"Please, tell me what happened," I begged.

He brought me to a bench by the side of one of the school buildings, far away from any passersby. Then, in the same pained and nostalgic voice, he continued his story.

"When I convinced Alison to change me, all those years ago, I wasn't entirely honest with her when I told her that I had no family, no loved ones. There was a girl. As a human, I was in love with her. Her name was Katherine." I pictured a lively young girl, no older than myself, with flowing red hair and freckles, and a happy, contagious smile. "We had been together since childhood, best friends, and eventually sweethearts. Both our families had died when we were young, and we were all each other had. I lived in constant fear that she would become sick and leave me like all the others had. When I met Alison, that day in the woods, the first thing I thought was that I had found a way that Katherine and I would never meet the same fate as our parents, that we could lead long, happy lives." He was talking about the same life he wanted for me. I suppose it wasn't too awful a thing to want for someone you loved, to give them the chance to _always _be happy and healthy.

"I waited a few weeks after I had been changed. I thought I had control over all my vampire instincts, at least enough to find Katherine and tell her what had happened to me. She had assumed I had gotten lost in the woods hunting and had died, and she was in mourning. I found her, and explained what had happened to me. She was terrified, naturally. It was so hard to be in the same room as her, her blood smelled so strong." Contorted pain was all over his face as he recalled the memory, and his calm voice was shaking.

"I finally convinced her to let me change her, so that we could be happy together forever, but I didn't know how weak I really was."

I saw the following events in my mind like an old horror movie playing in black and white. Sean's razor teeth, hovering over Katherine's pale neck, tears in her eyes, hope in his, and then, the worst thing possible-

"She died," I gasped in a tiny, petrified voice. Sean was bent over his knees, head grasped in his hands, shaking convulsively. I wanted to comfort him, but I was so scared, so _disgusted_, I pulled away instead.

"I couldn't stop myself. There was no way-" He was heaving useless air now, unable to cry. I got up and started to run.

"No, Tessa! Don't go! You don't understand!" He was immediately at my side tugging my arm to stop me.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, revolted by his touch, by everything about him…

"Tessa! Just listen to me! I was young, I was weak, and I didn't know what I was doing! Not a day has gone by that I've not felt sorry for what I've done-"

"You're lying! I don't believe you!" I was crying, and still screaming. Fortunately there was no one else around. I tried to yank my arm away, but he held tight.

"I am sorry! I loved her, almost as much as I love you! Enough that I wanted to be with her forever, and I killed her! That alone is punishment enough! But I would _never_ let that happen to you-"

"How can you say that? How can you be sure? You can't! You didn't think you would kill Katherine either, and look where that got her!"

"You don't understand, there difference between hers and your blood is exponential! You are unique! Without a taste or scent to your blood, there is no way that I wouldn't be able to stop myself!"

"I don't believe you!" I screamed, and I finally collapsed crying, unable to get away from him. He picked me up and carried me to the shade where he held me until I was shivering violently, but no longer crying.

"Alright now," he said calmly while rubbing my back with his frozen hand. "Are you going to run away now? Can I let go of you? Because you're shivering quite profusely."

I sat up and nodded that I wouldn't run away. I couldn't look directly at him, or say anything to him, but I wouldn't ran away. Yet.

After a few deep breaths, he let me stand up and move a little ways away from him. I rubbed myself to try to warm my cold arms.

"So you see now?" He said calmly. "I promise I won't hurt you, when you decide to let me change you." When. He said when. Not if.

"I didn't make a decision yet!" I said defensively. "What if I wanted to live a real life? With a family, and kids? Maybe I want a job, maybe I want my own house, maybe I want a dog who won't run away from me because I smell like a predator!"

"You can have those things!" He said. "Maybe it won't be the way you'd expect them, but we could find a way to have all those things, I assure you. Nothing is more important to me than you and your happiness. I will do whatever it takes to see you smile every day, for all eternity."

"So take a picture of me! Don't take my life away."

He was about to say something more when something caught his eye. He stepped over to me and took my arm very gently in his hands.

"What is on your arm?" His eyes widened as he realized what he was looking at was a bruise in the perfect shape of his hands, wrapped around my arms where he had restrained me from running away. "Oh my, what I have done to you?"

"Oh, it's nothing," I said automatically. "I always have bruises, at least, I did all through the winter and the spring. They don't hurt, see-" I poked the bruise with my finger and didn't even flinch, I was so used to the constant pain. Sean's face filled with disgust.

"You had bruises all winter and you never told me? Tessa! If I had known I was hurting you…"

"What? What would you have done? Stopped? You can't control your strength, I understand that."

He growled in agony and frustration. "Tessa, don't you see? You have to let me change you! Then I won't be able to hurt you anymore! I feel so horrible for what I've done!" He twisted his head from the swell of emotion, then calmed himself to look me directly in the eye. "Tessa, I love you, and I will do whatever it takes so that I will never hurt you ever again. Please tell me you'll let me change you? Let me save you from this… from myself."

He was so sincere, and for a moment, I had a vision of what it would be like. Our life, played out in front of my eyes that had been wide with fear. I would always be eighteen, always with someone who loved me. His family would welcome me with open arms, and we would live happily as long as days came over the horizon. A life of simplicity, with music and laughs, flowers and games. It was ideal, it was good. It was enough to be happy.

And what were my other choices? I looked, but saw… nothing. Just a dark haze of mystery. Nothing I could make out to bring me happiness or love of any kind. Lisa didn't want me to say yes, but what good had she done thus far? She had gotten me to college, with no promises after that. I had no other plans. I didn't know what I would do if I said no. So I said…

"Yes. I will. I'll become a vampire."

Sean's face lit up with more happiness than I could imagine possible. He swept into his arms and kissed me with more passion than I had known in the seven months we had been together. When he finally let me go, placing me back on the ground, I was shivering again, and he pulled off his sweatshirt to offer it to me.

"Here, this will keep you warm. I have to say, I can't wait until you are a vampire and I no longer have to worry about your body temperature." He laughed, still overjoyed that I had said yes. I pulled his sweatshirt over my head, and it smelled like the strong perfume of his body. It was so sharp a scent it gave me a headache, but I figured that was better than freezing in the cool air that was coming in with nightfall, and it hid my conspicuous bruises.

"It's already twilight," I said, looking up at the fading traces of light that were hanging over the horizon. You should probably get going. I'm not allowed to have visitors after seven."

"You're right. I need to start driving home anyway." He pulled me into his chest and held me before letting go.

"I love you," he whispered sweetly into my hair, kissing the top of my head.

"I love you too," I said, looking up into his happy, amber eyes before his gave me one last peck, and ran off into the sunset.

I stood there until I saw his car leave the parking lot. I felt so numb, I was almost falling over. Rather than let myself collapse and not be found until the next morning in a hypothermic state, I started running. And I didn't stop.

I ran across the lawns and footpaths of the campus, eventually working my way to the wooded trails that I ran most often. I was on my favorite trail, running full speed toward dark black woods.

I felt like I had someone at my tail the whole time, someone with a pale face and a shining white smile. I wasn't running from him though. I wasn't running from anything.

I just wanted to feel something, anything. I was so numb, no happiness, no fear, no anger, and no sadness could penetrate my body. I threw myself through the woods, aching to _feel_ something, begging. I would cut open my hands and bleed freely on the ground if it would just give me _something to feel_-

I crashed into something large. It felt like a tree, or a wall, except that it was incredible warm, and it was moving. And there was also the fact that it was breathing heavily.

I had fallen backward onto the ground upon impact, and I was looking up at the thing which was unidentifiable in the shadows. It was alive, and it was moving backward, farther into the dark. I just thought I could make out the shape of something tall, and hairy.

_A bear_, I thought automatically. Except that I didn't expect a bear would be that tall…

A canine-like howl erupted from the animal and I screamed. _Not a bear, a wolf!_ I hastily tried to move but I was still on my back, on the ground. My limbs had all gone numb and wobbly, and I couldn't get up. I saw the wolf moving back towards me, and I closed my eyes to prepare for the attack.

Only at that very second, the clouds overhead broke and a beam of orange light from the sunset settled through the leaves on the face of a man.

A man with russet-colored skin and short, messy, black hair, who had piercing dark eyes, and a look of immeasurable confusion, mingled with extreme concern written all over his face.

No sooner had I seen those stunning eyes than I knew that I was in love with him.

He rushed forward and lifted me of the ground with two large, strong hands. Hands that were so warm, my body felt like it had sparks running up and down it, individually breaking apart all the numbness I had felt for so long.

I stared at his beautiful face until a smile worked its way up to the corners of his eyes, and he laughed at me.

"You're no vampire."

I almost stumbled backward, I was so surprised that these were the first words to come out of his mouth, but I was more startled by his wonderfully husky voice that sounded like a lullaby, one written especially for me.

I was at a loss for words, but he ignored this and instead bent over to sniff Sean's sweatshirt which I was still wearing. He crinkled his nose like it was the most disgusting smell he had ever experienced, and withdrew. When he had been leaning over me, I caught the scent of his body which was absolutely heavenly- he smelled like running in the woods, if that made any sense. To me, it was like a cat sniffing catnip. My eyes must have been wide with awe and desire when he pulled away and looked at me, but he made no recognition of it. In fact, it seemed as if his eyes had the same look in them, only intensified. I felt certain immediately that I could look into those eyes for the rest of my life…

He straightened up to his full height, which must have been close to six foot seven, as he was nearly a foot taller than I was, and focused his gaze on my forehead rather than my eyes, speaking to me in that beautiful voice, but with seriousness instead of humor as before.

"Don't take this too personally, but would you mind telling me who you are and why the hell you're wearing a vampire's sweatshirt?"

I stuttered for something coherent to say. "I- I… he-"

I was failing, to an embarrassing degree. He urged me once again, even more seriously. "Your name? Anything at all? God, I can't do this without your help. Look, just tell me one thing; is whoever he is still around here?"

"No," I finally managed to say. "He left a little while ago. How do you-"

"Let's save that discussion for a little later, could we? Now, I know this probably seems like backtracking, but I would really like to know your name…?"

"Tessa," I breathed. "Tessa Calder."

"Tessa," he said, with every emotion I could name and some that were still mysteries to me laced in his voice as he repeated my name. Suddenly, he lifted me off the ground into the haven of his arms and he kissed me.

_He kissed me! _He was kissing me like I had never been kissed before. I had no warning, but it was magical and wonderful, and nothing I could have imagined or expected. Heat was radiating of his body into mine, warming every limb and thawing the frozen pools of my soul. I felt like I had been a million piece puzzle and someone had finally put me together exactly as I belonged.

The most surprising thing was that I didn't object, because I never wanted him to stop. I didn't even know his name, but I knew that I loved him. I knew it like he was the only one who could anchor me to the earth; gravity had no more effect on me. It was like being blind my whole life, which I suppose I had been, and suddenly seeing light for the first time. He ran his hand through my hair and pushed his mouth harder upon mine, and I willed my body to melt and become one with his.

I forgot about Sean. Sean no longer existed in my mind. I forgot the life I had seen us having; I forgot the life I had always wanted to live. I forgot all my hopes, dreams, desires, friends, family; I forgot my own name. The only thing that existed was the man that was holding me to him, kissing me like he needed my lips more than he needed air.

However, the best was yet to come. Because when he finally broke away, both of us breathing unevenly, I saw in his eyes, the most beautiful thing I would ever know; I saw that every feeling of insurmountable bliss I had felt in those few seconds, he felt them too.

"Tessa Calder," he said, "My name is Jacob Black."

**OH. SNAP. That's all I have to say :)**


	22. Chapter 22 Something That's Right

**A/N: Hey everyone! OMG, I got _so _many reviews yesterday, which, naturally, thrilled me to no end. I'm so glad all of you liked my plot twist, you have no idea how hard it was for me to sucessfully keep that secret for so long! Anyways, things get even better from here on out (at least i think so), so KEEP READING! And especially keep reviewing :)**

**btw, I have officially put up a poll to determine the new name of the story, something more fitting (hopefully). I want everyone to vote! The final tally will be Wednesday night (March 11), so make sure you get your votes in early! Thanks for your support everybody! I hope you like this chapter!**

_I forgot about Sean. Sean no longer existed in my mind. I forgot the life I had seen us having; I forgot the life I had always wanted to live. I forgot all my hopes, dreams, desires, friends, family; I forgot my own name. The only thing that existed was the man that was holding me to him, kissing me like he needed my lips more than he needed air._

_However, the best was yet to come. Because when he finally broke away, both of us breathing unevenly, I saw in his eyes, the most beautiful thing I would ever know; I saw that every feeling of insurmountable bliss I had felt in those few seconds, he felt them too._

_"Tessa Calder," he said, "My name is Jacob Black."_

****

Chapter 22

Something That's Right (For a Change)

I knew I could have spent the rest of my life at that same spot in the woods if Jacob was with me, but he seemed to be concerned about my state of health enough that it was necessary we got out of the forest and into some kind of shelter.

Night had fallen, and there were no more students wandering around the campus, except between the dorms and the dining hall. I was able to sneak Jacob into my dorm room, which seemed like quite an accomplishment to me, seeing that I couldn't take my eyes off him and I couldn't see how anyone wouldn't notice the beautiful creature that was following me into my room. It also had to be noted that he wasn't exactly dressed conservatively. In fact, he wasn't wearing anything but a pair of cut-off jean shorts. No shoes, and no shirt to cover his beautiful, russet chest. He followed me so quietly, I would have thought he'd disappeared if I didn't have my eyes on him the entire time.

I had never noticed how ugly my room was until Jacob was in it, putting the tiny dorm into perspective and making it resultantly beautiful. It was as if nothing was beautiful without Jacob anymore, and I was sure I would continue feeling that way forever. Jacob made himself comfortable sitting up on top of my bed, and pulled me into the folds of his arms where I obligingly and happily followed.

I was ready to just sit in bliss for hours when he said, "So, when are you going to explain to me how you became pals with a vampire? I'm not Edward Cullen, I can't read minds."

His words brought me painfully back to reality, and I let out a whimper. "Oh my God, Sean…"

He was immediately concerned at my reaction, and his hand automatically reached up to cup my chin. "What's wrong? Who's Sean?"

"My boyfriend, the vampire. I told just saw him today-"

"You're dating a vampire?" Jacob laughed. "Why does everyone find those bloodsuckers so attractive? Honestly, I don't see the appeal." He crinkled his nose to emphasize his point.

"It wasn't an arrangement of choice… It sort of just happened."

"Explain. Please." He tacked on the "please" when he saw my resentment towards his direct order.

"Well, it's a long story," I said hesitantly.

"I've got time." His voice was calm and soothing, and I found myself explaining the mystery that had been Sean's and my relationship. It began with me reading the _Twilight _books, which made Jacob sneer.

"That literary garbage? Yeah, can't say I'm a fan. It's not exactly every guy's dream to have the story of how they epically failed at being at all heroic, and lost the girl they loved to a vampire in the process. And to boot, that author had me paired up with Bella's half-breed daughter in the end! As if!"

I laughed. "Sean said that the only way to get a best-seller is to give everyone a happy ending."

He laughed with me. "Yeah, I should be so lucky."

I continued to explain the supernatural event in which I was nearly run over by a black mustang convertible. I was pleased to feel Jacob tighten his embrace when I mentioned my near death experience. This led to my discovery of the family of vampires living in my home town.

"I've never heard of the McNallys," Jacob said pensively.

"They're friends with the Cullens," I added helpfully. "They were on the Gold side of the Red and Gold War."

"They may have been there, but I wasn't," he admitted shamefully. "I had already hit the road with my tail between my legs."

"Why?" I asked, curious.

He struggled to find the right words. "I guess I thought I was heartbroken or something."

"You _thought_?" I asked, giggling at the doubt in his voice.

"Yeah, well, I know better now. But we're not done talking about you. I still need you to explain to me how you can stand being in close quarters with a leech. This sweatshirt, for example-" he lifted the sweatshirt I had hanging of the back of my desk chair and gave it a look of revulsion, "- is quite the mystery to me."

"It's not so much the sweatshirts as what they were hiding," I said delicately, rolling up my sleeves to show him the bruises that covered my limbs. His beautiful, dark eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets. He swore loudly and began to shake with anger. Following my instincts, I placed both my hands around his face and stared into his eyes, finally kissing him gently.

"Don't Jacob; your anger won't help anything. It's something that happened, and I lived through it."

"How?" he whispered, anger still pulsing through him, but at a controllable rate, as he pulled me closer to his chest.

"I was numb. I couldn't feel anything for months. No pain, no warmth, no cold. Actually, this is the first time I've been able to really feel anything since the day Sean McNally moved to Hardgrave." I looked into his eyes and smiled. "You cured me."

He seemed to like the sound of this, as he kissed me again and it was several minutes before he realized that my story was still unfinished.

"Don't let me do that again, ok?" he said, pulling me off his lap and putting a couple feet between us. He grabbed my hand in his as an afterthought, for which I was very grateful.

"You weren't the only one who was worried about my blasé attitude toward my bruises," I told him reassuringly. "My best friends Carly and Lisa did everything they could to get me away from Sean. Today was the first day I'd seen him since my graduation in June."

"Wait," Jacob said, "let me get this straight. You left him, but he still came back into your life? Why didn't he just move on? That's what most vampires would do."

"It's complicated…" I said, knowing that there was one thing that kept him at my heels, something I regretted not resolving long ago when I had the chance. "I owed him a promise… something that he wouldn't leave hanging forever. You see, he loves me."

"He does?" Jacob repeated, incredulously.

"Yes, he does."

"I find that a little hard to believe, all things considered."

"And what are you considering?" I asked.

"The way I feel about you."

I let my stomach do a happy summersault before I continued, trying to keep the serious tone that this subject required.

"Jacob, you don't understand. That promise I had to keep? I promised I would make a choice-" My voice broke off as I realized just how big a fix I had gotten myself into.

Jacob sensed my fear and tensed up as my breathing staggered. "What? What choice? Tessa, what did you tell him?"

"He wanted me to become one of them!" I cried. "And I told him yes!"

Jacob stood up in the middle of my tiny room, taking up more space than the bed did, shaking with rage. It was the first time since I had laid eyes on him that I had felt any real fear. If what I had read about in the books was true, then there was a real danger of him turning into some kind of wolf while he was standing there, trembling. The hairs were standing up on my neck, and I pleaded softly, "No, Jake, don't do it. Control yourself. Please?"

"No!" He yelled, his hands clenched into fists. "Can't you just try to see this from my point of view?" He paced across the four foot space of the room frantically. "I don't even know you, alright? I only just met you, and the one thing I _do _know for certain, wrapped up in the middle of all these crazy emotions that hit me like a bus the second I laid eyes on you, is that I want you to be safe. I want to keep you safe from all harm, I want you to always be happy. But even before all this psychotic shit happened, you've somehow gotten yourself tangled up in a battle for life and death with a vampire I don't even know!" He let out a howl and wrapped his hands around his head in frustration.

My heart had all but stopped as he went on this rampage. I was fighting back tears that were all too willing to fall now, shocked as I was that he was so upset by this.

"So? What are we going to do then?" I asked, my voice heavy with resentment.

"What are we going to do?" He yelled angrily, "I'm going to fix it! That's what!" He stopped pacing in the center of my room, no longer shaking, and was breathing heavily, but calmly.

He walked over to me, and took my hands in his. The warmth pulsed through me like a new heart beat that was not my own, but belonged all the same.

He sighed, and said softly, "I should have known. I think I knew all along, actually. I mean, how couldn't I? I knew seventy years ago, what would be so different now?"

"Are you talking about Bella?" I asked.

"No," he said bitterly. "I'm not talking about Bella. I'm talking about the stupid prophecy that has been following me around since the day I was born and is cursing me still."

I gave him an inquisitive look, and he explained.

"My father was the last chief of the Quileute tribe. I was supposed to be the next in line. A long, long time ago, a prophet predicted the fates of all the chiefs that were yet to come, and mine was the very last one. I was supposed to save the tribe from fading away into the past. I guess that much is true, seeing as it's almost 75 years since the last of our elders died, and I'm still around. But there was more to the prophecy."

I wracked my brain, searching for something that Sean had told me months ago.

"Someone you would save from a fate worse than death… becoming a vampire… the person you were supposed to imprint-" the words rolled out of my mouth like marbles, not making any sense.

"Tess," he said urgently, stopping my ramblings with a heavy, passionate kiss that swept me of my feet. The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the bed with Jacob's body hunched over me, my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms curling up around his muscular shoulders-

No. He pulled away and looked into my eyes, waiting for me to come to the right conclusions.

"Imprinting," I said, pondering the word. "The prophecy…"

"Yes," he said very seriously. "It's you. You are the one I've been looking for, for almost eighty years. You're the one the prophecy was talking about, the one who was destined for a fate worse than death, and I'm here to save you from that fate. You see, my world is _nothing _without you anymore. You are the force that's holding me to earth, and I have no intentions of _ever_ letting you go."

I was hit by another wave of heat and desire, and _I_ had no intention of stopping them, despite what I promised Jacob. I was rejoicing that I could feel again; I was thrilled that it was _his_ body I was feeling, and I was overcome by the love that was so natural between us, like it was meant to be.

It _was _meant to be.

Eventually, when we were calm once again, gasping for air on opposite ends of my bed, I was able to start the questions that had been forming in my mind since I had met this beautiful creature.

"How did this happen? How could I be so lucky? What could have brought us together?"

"I'm almost as clueless as you are. All I know is that I was traveling through the woods, working my way south, when I smelled a vampire, not far away. My instincts brought me to the trail, and next thing I knew, you were running into me and my world was turning upside down. I guess it could only have been fate. I mean, we were made for each other, right? We had to meet eventually."

"What were you doing traveling south? Where have you been living all these years?"

"With the Cullens. I know, it's ridiculous, sticking around with the girl who rejected me, decades later, but I don't know anyone else alive. I haven't been home in years. I don't even know if there _is_ a home for me any more. All my family is dead, and most of the old wolves have even passed on, deciding to live a life with their imprints, rather than remain in the time capsule I've been in. The only family I have left is Seth, and he's tied himself to the Cullens, obviously. So, when I'm not roaming the Canadian wilderness, I'm with the vampires who ruined whatever hope I had at a life. It's a pathetic existence. Finding you was the only light I've had in my dark life in seventy years."

"You were with the Cullens last; what made you leave?"

Jacob looked confused, then answered, "Alice, actually. She came to me one day and told me than she had seen I wouldn't be with her family for much longer. I hadn't made any decision to leave, so it was odd that she had foreseen it, but perhaps it was a decision that was made for me, so set in stone that I didn't really have a choice."

"There's always a choice," I said automatically, but realized that if ever there were a situation where there was no choice, now would be it. I knew there was no way I could ever choose not to be with Jacob now. My wrists were tied and I was attached by steel cables to his existence.

"In the life of a werewolf, choice is a privilege, not a possession. We never have a choice."

"Can you really turn into a wolf?" I asked, intrigued.

"Absolutely. I'll show you sometime."

"When?" I asked eagerly.

"Soon. Like when I'm not inside a tiny dorm room." He smiled at me, and stroked my cheek with his wonderfully warm thumb.

"What's wrong with my dorm room?" I asked defensively.

He smiled at me and laughed. "_This_ is what's wrong with your dorm room." He reached his arms straight out from his sides like a big T, and yes, he was able to reach across to both sides of the room standing in the very center.

"Wow," I laughed, "That's really embarrassing."

"Yup. It certainly is." I leaped off my bed and charged him in the stomach. He jumped in surprise, but wrapped his arms around me, and we stood in the middle of my cell, holding one another, perfectly content.

"I don't know how I fell in love with you so easily," I said into his chest, "But I'm glad that I did. You've already saved me once, as small a thing it may seem, and I'm always going to be grateful that you found me."

"No," he whispered, "You saved me. Believe me, you saved me."

We stood there, in each others arms for an immeasurable amount of time, during which he said the most meaningful and life-changing words I would ever hear.

"Tessa Calder, I love you."

"I know."

Darkness fell, and the moon rose, and the halls around us started to become quieter as more and more students left for their late night parties, or went to sleep.

Finally, Jacob whispered the words I had been dreading he'd say. "Tessa, I have to leave. I'll be back before you know it, I promise, but there are some things I have to take care of, and night would be the best time for it."

"Where are you going to go?" I asked, trying to keep my selfish sadness in check.

"I'm going to pass on a message to Seth and the Cullens, and I can really only do that in my wolf form. I want to find out as much as I can about Sean McNally, see if he really is someone I should be worried about. Though I honestly doubt that he would be. After all, he's only a vampire."

"Never underestimate a vampire who's humored himself into believing he's in love." The voice that spoke these words was not mine. Jacob instinctively hid me behind him and crouched in a menacing position, growling at the girl who was standing in my doorway. I peered around his arms and saw someone I had almost expected never to see again.

**Bum Bum Baaaaahhhhhh! Yeah, that's right, I did _another _cliff hanger, heeheehee... they're much too fun. Oh? You don't like them? Ok, well then let me know! How? REVIEW!!!!!!!**


	23. Chapter 23 Fire Meets Ice

**A/N: Hello Everyone! I got so many wonderful reviews yesterday, you all make me sooooo happy! This next chapter is pretty dramatic, as most of them will be from here on out. I hope you all enjoy it. This isn't a very long note, my mind is elsewhere... I have another big concert tonight, and I'm a little nervous... so wish me luck! And KEEP REVIEWING!!!!!! :) AND DON'T FOREGT TO VOTE IN MY POLL!!!! We need to pick a new name for this story! And check out the playlist as well!**

**Chapter 23**

**Fire Meets Ice and Together They Flee**

Darkness fell, and the moon rose, and the halls around us started to become quieter as more and more students left for their late night parties, or went to sleep.

Finally, Jacob whispered the words I had been dreading he'd say. "Tessa, I have to leave. I'll be back before you know it, I promise, but there are some things I have to take care of, and night would be the best time for it."

"Where are you going to go?" I asked, trying to keep my selfish sadness in check.

"I'm going to pass on a message to Seth and the Cullens, and I can really only do that in my wolf form. I want to find out as much as I can about Sean McNally, see if he really is someone I should be worried about. Though I honestly doubt that he would be. After all, he's only a vampire."

"Never underestimate a vampire who's humored himself into believing he's in love." The voice that spoke these words was not mine. Jacob instinctively hid me behind him and crouched in a menacing position, growling at the girl who was standing in my doorway. I peered around his arms and saw someone I had almost expected never to see again.

"Lisa!" I screamed, pushing my way past Jacob and crushing Lisa in a sisterly hug.

"Ew, get off of me, you smell like a dog!" She said with disdain, pushing me a safe distance back and crinkling her nose from the smell.

Jacob was still in his defensive stance, the hairs on his arms standing on end. Lisa was also tensed and nervous, though not quite as much as Jacob was. She hadn't been caught off guard. I could feel the electricity between them, the natural repelling forces at work.

"Tessa," Jacob said with a falsely sugared tone through gritted teeth, "Would you mind explaining _why _you're hugging a vampire?"

"This is Lisa!" I exclaimed with delight. "I told you about her! She's the one who helped me get away from Sean this summer!"

"Yeah, you mentioned _that_, but you didn't mention that she was a vampire!"

"Oops, sorry," I smiled sheepishly.

"Calm down dog," Lisa said in her usual irritated tone, "I'm here to help. Which you are going to need more of than you are anticipating. My brother Sean honestly thinks he is head over heels for this girl, and no amount of persuasion will convince him other wise. And thanks to your stupid move earlier today," She looked pointedly at me with every angle of her sharp frown intact, "We will have a hard time convincing him that you don't want to be with him either. Honestly Tess, after all the work I did, you _had _to go and say yes! What were you thinking? The same rule for drugs applies with lovesick vampires: Just say no!"

"Okay, okay! I get it," I said, exasperated. "I screwed up, okay? How was I to know that there was another option waiting for me in the woods? You could have given me a hint about that, you know."

"Um, how much of a hint do you need? Because I'm pretty sure I took every precaution ALL YEAR to keep you from away from him, not to mention you should have listened to your instincts when they were screaming, 'No, Tessa! Don't do it!' And don't tell me you didn't hear them, because I know damn well-"

I groaned loudly to get her to stop rambling. "Alright! I said I get it? I _seriously_ screwed up, we get the idea, but really? What good is arguing about it now? We have a problem, and we'll just have to wait it out."

"Oh no we're not. You aren't waiting around for anything to come and bite you in the neck, I'm getting you out of here now, and you're just going to have to deal with it."

Jacob growled. "She's not going anywhere without me."

Lisa looked at him incredulously. "No offense dog, but I don't see why she needs you to tag along with her like a golden retriever. I am perfectly capable of hiding her by myself, and you kind of smell."

I backed up and grabbed Jacob's arm that instinctively wrapped around me. "I don't want to leave without him." My wide eyes held the fear of being torn away from the man I loved. Lisa, however, did not get this subtle message.

"Tessa, there's no way that Sean would ever find you. It's not like you will leave any kind of trail, so you won't need anyone to protect you. Now pack your stuff. We're going."

I stayed in the same place, pulling Jacobs arms tighter around me. Lisa looked back and forth between our twin faces or adoration when the light finally dawned on her.

"Oh my-" She stuttered as her eyes became wider with cognition. "You _imprinted!_ Oh my goodness, no wonder my vision said you had to come to Dartmouth! Wow, this is _way _more complicated than I originally thought!"

"Vision?" Jacob asked, looking at me. "What's the bloodsucking twit talking about?"

"Lisa has visions of the future," I explained quickly, "Like Alice Cullen, only a little differently."

"I see what must happen for one to be happy," Lisa said in a mockingly airy voice while rolling her eyes. "But obviously I wouldn't be able to see that you'd meet a werewolf and imprint, because there was no way to determine that he would be here unless you were. It all makes sense now!" She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad! I thought I was going crazy!"

"Yeah, cause seeing visions of the future isn't crazy at all," Jacob mumbled.

Lisa just glared at him. "Alright, _dog_, what do you suggest we do then? Because let me tell you, the head on confrontation you're anticipating _won't _work. Sean is crafty, and he is certainly dangerous, and he's delusional enough to fight for what he wants."

"The name is Jacob, if you don't mind," Jake said sardonically, "And I am not opposed to hiding her like you said. I'm just pointing out that Tessa is not going anywhere without me. That is nonnegotiable."

"We're going on the run?" I asked fearfully. "What about college? What about my classes, and my friends? I can't just leave."

"You can and you will," Lisa told me firmly while she went around my room packing up my clothes that I had so recently put away. I had just started feeling at home here, and already I was being asked to leave?

"But really, what would be so bad about just explaining to Sean that I just changed mind?" I glanced warily between both Jacob's and Lisa's expressions, both which struck me as appalled at the mere suggestion. Simultaneously, I was being attacked by the unleashed verbal onslaught of both.

"Do you really expect me to let you near my brother-"

"I just found you and now you want to put yourself in danger-"

"After all the work I put in, all the precautions-"

"One bite! That's all it takes!"

"What does _dangerous _mean to you? Cause I don't think you know!"

"He's delusional! He doesn't know what he's doing-"

"I've dealt with psychotic vampires before, but I'm not taking theses stakes-"

"What could you possibly say that could make him understand?" Lisa spat at me, positively fuming.

I didn't think that my innocence was tainting my thought process. "Look, he _loves_ me. He wouldn't purposely do anything that would hurt me! I'm not stupid, I know that he'll probably be upset when he hears what I have to say. I'm not expecting that he'll take the news well. But I refuse to believe that he would react so badly that I would be in any danger! What's the worst he could do?"

Resentment welled up inside of me and I grabbed my cell-phone, taking it to the corner of the room, dialing the number that I had long memorized.

"What are you doing?" Lisa asked in her high pitched voice, betraying her calm and disdainful attitude.

"I am going to call him and explain to him what happened, something you two seem to think is so utterly impossible."

"You're going to breakup with your vampire boyfriend on the phone?" Jacob asked incredulously.

I raised my eyebrows. "Would you prefer to have me talk to him in person? Really, make up your mind, 'cause you're kind of limiting me."

Jacob raised his hands in defense. "Hey, I was just surprised. Didn't think you were an 'on-the-phone' kind of person. Don't start putting ideas in my mouth."

Lisa looked like she was about to protest again, but I gave her a look that silenced her, and she closed her eyes in deep focus instead.

The phone was ringing. Sean picked up on the second pulse.

"Babe! How are you? I didn't expect to hear from you so soon! Not that I'm upset."

Hearing his voice now, it was like knives jabbing in my ears. How had I not noticed the sickeningly sweet tone to his tenor before? It was like my ears were open for the first time; everything sounded different. I repressed the urge to vomit when I heard him call me "Babe," and I got straight to the point.

"Sean," I said, my voice laced with the sympathy that I honestly felt. "I need to tell you something very important. Right after you left, something happened-"

"What?" he asked jokingly. "You thought you forgot to kiss me goodbye? 'Cause I promise, we did that." I could hear the smile in his voice. I, however, was grimacing at the gray memory.

"No, Sean, I'm not joking around. This is serious, and you're not going to like what I have to say, but I have to ask that you listen, and that you believe me."

"Alright, shoot. Tell me what's on your mind." He urged me on with the same happy tone as before, but he was taking this seriously as I had requested.

"I… I haven't been honest with you," I began uncertainly. "I've been keeping a pretty big secret these past few months, and I think you need to know the truth." He didn't say anything so I continued. "I've been… numb. Ever since the day I met you really, it's just been a part of my life that I had grown used to."

"You mean the thing with the bruises?" he asked, concerned.

"Yes, but it's more than that. I didn't really feel… anything. No pain, no warmth, no cold. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, no frustration, no love. Every emotion you thought I felt in our relationship was a lie. I was acting. I didn't know how I really felt, so I pretended to feel what I should. It's been the same since the day we went to Peacock Hill, until today."

He caught my dramatic climax. His hesitation told me that he was paying attention.

"Sean, after you left today, I met someone. Someone… incredible. And I'm not numb anymore. I know how I feel, and I have to let you know, I don't love you. Not in the way that you love me, at least. No more than a friend. I can't pretend anymore, because it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to the person that I met, and it's not what I want. I don't want to become a vampire, or to be part of your family. I don't want to be with you anymore."

The silence on the other end of the phone confirmed that I had stunned him sufficiently. "Sean, say something," I laughed nervously.

"W-what…" he stuttered, "What are you saying? You're joking, right? You met some random person, and now you're convinced that you don't love me anymore? I'm having trouble comprehending this."

"He's not some random guy!" I replied automatically. I regretted it immediately, my eyes wide with fear, since I hadn't wanted to bring Jacob into this fragile situation. He saw my concern and reached over to hold my hand. The warmth gave me the comfort and support I needed. "Sean, this is someone who means a lot to me, and he really opened up my eyes. I can't lie or pretend, or go back to the way things were before. It's just not the direction my life is supposed to go."

"Says the girl who doesn't believe in fate!" He spat. I could hear the anger in his voice now, as he moved to defend himself. "You're not telling me something! How is this guy, whoever he is, different? How can he change the way you feel about me?"

"The way I feel about you hasn't changed!" I cried. "I still love you! I just can't be with you! I can't live the kind of life you want for me! I never wanted it, you did! I told you from the very beginning that my love for you was different from the way you loved me. It had restrictions, limitations. One of them is that I'm not giving up my life for you!"

"You still didn't answer my question! What is different about this man? What happened?"

I sighed. "He made me change my mind. He gave me another option."

"Options? What options could a human give? I'm offering you immortality!"

My breath caught as he inadvertently stumbled over the most important detail in my story. I looked at Jacob's loving eyes, and I knew that my lies wouldn't protect him anymore.

"Sean, he isn't a human. He's a werewolf. His name is Jacob Black, and I'm his imprint." Jacob's eyes were fearful when I said his name, but not accusatory. He was only worried about me.

"Jacob Black?" Sean repeated slowly and carefully, like the name was poison on his tongue. "As in, the idiot who tried to ruin the lives of the Cullens? As in the crazy werewolf that has spent half a century moping about a teenage heartbreak? As in the pathetic loser who has let some stupid prophecy rule his life?"

Something inside me snapped, and I was suddenly yelling. "Jacob is not an idiot, he's not crazy, and he's not a pathetic loser! He's the most amazing person I have ever met, or will ever meet. And for your information, he loves me!"

Jacob's eyes sparkled when I came to his defense, but I wasn't able to enjoy properly it as Sean was yelling denials in my ear.

"Don't you see what he's doing? He's deluding you! He's followed that ludicrous prophecy all his life, and now he has you believing it too! It's nonsense! Don't listen to him, that's the lie! You love me Tessa, you'll come back to me! We had a plan, we were happy! Jacob Black has convinced himself that he was in love with an innocent girl before, don't let it happen again!"

"You may be right in thinking that this has happened before, but there is one significant difference this time around, and that is that I love him."

Both the silence on the other end of the phone, and the unrivaled joy in Jacob's eyes sent me reeling as I let my own words sink in. I love him, I love him. I was in love with Jacob Black.

I heard Sean's breathing increase at the other end of the phone, and I wasn't surprise when impenetrable anger erupted in my ear.

"I don't believe you!" He yelled, just before the line went dead. Lisa's eyes snapped open, wide with fear.

"Well that was pretty rude," Jacob said, commenting on the abrupt end to my phone conversation, while Lisa took my wrist and pulled me toward my closet.

"That's it," she said. "We're getting you out of here." She grabbed a handful of clothes and stuffed them in a backpack.

"Wait!" I yelled as she dragged me around the room, picking up various necessities. "What do you mean? Why are we leaving now?"

"Look," Lisa said sharply. "What do you want me to say? 'Ok, we gave it our best effort, maybe the seriously pissed off vampire that just screamed and hung up on you isn't anything to worry about, we'll just stick around and find out?' 'Cause that wouldn't change the fact that he is on his way here right now."

I froze in place as her words sunk in. "You think he's dangerous?" I whispered, my own fears too meek to want a louder recognition.

"I would say he's bordering homicidal. It didn't help that you added in the bit about falling in love with a werewolf, considering that most vampires are pretty prejudiced when it comes to dealing with our age-old enemies."

"I can't say we're too fond of you either," Jacob retorted, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

"That I can deal with; what I can't deal with is any resistance in what we're about to do. Now, I want to get her as far away from here as possible, but where can we go?"

An idea popped into my head. "Duh, the last place he'd look!" Jacob and Lisa both looked at me expectantly. "Home! My house! He'd never look there! He's expecting us to run away, right?"

Lisa paused pensively. "It's stupid enough that it just might work."

"Hey!" I snapped defensively. "It's no stupid-"

"There's no time," She cut me off, grabbing my arm and dragging me out the door. "We have to leave. Now."

Without a second to lose, we were running down the hallway, leaving all traces of my college life behind.

There were only feet between the front door of my dorm and the dark parking lot where Lisa's car was waiting for us, but still in this stretch of space, we ran into someone. Someone I knew, no less.

"Hey Tessa- Whoa, what's going on?" Lindsey was obviously returning from one of her late night practice sessions, and the Whoa had been intended for Jacob, who was really too good-looking for his own good.

"Hey Lindsey! I can't really explain, but I'll see you soon, alright?" I said hurriedly as Lisa motioned for me to follow her.

"Wait!" Lindsey called, confusion obvious in her concern. "You'll be at rehearsal Monday, right?"

I groaned then quickly ran back over to her, Jacob at my side with a protective hand on my shoulder.

"Look, Lindsey," I said calmly and quietly, but still in a rush. "I really can't tell you what is going on, but I have to leave, and you can't tell anyone, understand? Can I trust you?"

Confusion was still written in her eyes. "Yes, but why-"

"Just promise me," I urged, "You won't tell anyone?" She nodded warily in agreement. "And one more thing," I added. "If you see a boy around here asking for me, one who's very pale and very attractive, stay away from him, okay? Especially don't say anything to him!"

Lisa was yelling for me to hurry up, and Jacob was gently pulling me towards the car, but Lindsey was still nodding, "I promise! I won't say anything!"

"Thank-you!" I called as the car pulled away into the night.

**Review! And vote in my poll! PLEASE! Love you guys!**


	24. Chapter 24 Home

**A/N: Hello everyone! HUGE thankyou to all of you who reviewed my story yesterday, I seriously can't tell you how much I like hearing from you and reading reviews! Good or bad, they're all helping me towards becoming a better writer! So thanks!**

**This may not seem like it, but it's a pretty important chapter. It lays down all the reasons why Tessa/Sean NEVER would have worked (for those of you who were wondering), and it may seem like silly reasons, but they make sense in my mind... but anyway, let me know what you think!**

**P.S. VOTE IN MY POLL!!!!!! TODAY'S THE LAST DAY!!!!! GET YOUR VOTE IN, WHAT SHOULD I RENAME THIS STORY????**

**Chapter 24**

**Home**

Somewhere on the dark freeway, we must have passed Sean, heading in the opposite direction, but Lisa had been right about one thing. With no scent to my blood, there was no way that he would be able to track me, so the only clues we left behind were the words with Lindsey, and I trusted her. Sean didn't even know that I was friends with her, so she would be safe, or at least I hoped as much.

It was a long drive, and a long night. Lisa drove with a lead foot, and Jacob and I rested in the back seat of her shiny black sports car. Surprisingly, the leather seats weren't nearly as comfortable as they looked, but I guess comfort isn't a high priority for vampires. Anyhow, I was comfortable enough in Jacob's arms. We were both exhausted, and fell asleep sharing the heat that radiated off his body.

The new emotions I was feeling were still a mystery to me. How could I, of all people, fall in love so easily, so instantaneously? I was the one who didn't like sharing myself with someone else, who didn't want to rise to the expectations of someone else. I ran from love every chance I had. Yet here I was, feeling more at home in the arms of a complete stranger than I had with boys I had known for years. It was like he was already a part of me; I wasn't changing, or sharing myself, I was already his. And he was mine. We were made for each other. Being with him was easier than breathing. We fit together perfectly.

Of all the truths that I held to be self evident, this was the most obvious. I was in love with Jacob Black, and nothing would ever change that.

I was only mildly aware of Lisa's grim solitude during the drive. She didn't talk to us, which I took to mean that she was being considerate that we were both sleeping, but it occurred to me that she was missing her own loved one whom she had lost. Not only that, but she was turning her back on the only people who did love her. What must she be feeling, so alone in the world?

"Lisa?" I whispered, careful not to wake Jacob as I regrettably pried myself away from his body to talk to her. "Are you alright? With doing this, I mean?"

"Of course!" She said lightly, as if there had been no reservations in her decision to help me. "Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

"I just meant that, you know, you're intentionally going against your family, and I know it's because of me. So… I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Please!" She laughed bitterly. "I'm _helping _my family by taking you out of our lives. You were the stake that was driven into our heart, and I'm the only one who has the sense to remove it!"

I wasn't terribly fond of being referred to as a "stake," considering the vampire reference that implied, but I understood what she meant.

"But you're really okay with what you're doing? To Sean? I mean, call me self-centered, but I don't exactly expect him to be very forgiving when he finds out you helped me escape."

Lisa sighed. "No, he's not going to be happy with me. But that's because he doesn't know what's best for him. There's something out there, I'm sure, that he's meant for, and all I know is that it isn't you. I knew from the first day he met you, and I'm just as certain now. I can't see what it is, the thing that has a hold on him, but I know there's _something_, I can feel it…" Her voice drowned out in frustration. I could tell that this was something that had been troubling her for sometime, not being able to see what was lying beyond the horizon. For someone who relied on her foresight so much, it must be horrible to be running so blindly, and I admired her for doing so anyway.

"Thank-you," I whispered, though it by no means encompassed the gratitude I felt.

"Yeah, you better be grateful," she said with her signature cynical tone. "Considering my usual opinions of the human race, what I am doing for you is HUGE. You should be happy I even deign to speak to you."

A smile crept onto my face as I combated her irritability. "You know, I think you secretly like having me around. That's why you're so concerned with keeping me alive."

"Ha!" She laughed, "More likely I just don't want to put up with you for the rest of eternity!"

"Well you won't have to!" I chuckled indignantly. Jacob was stirring in the backseat from all our laughter.

"What's so funny?" he mumbled sleepily, instinctively reaching for me, even with his eyes closed.

I smiled at him. "Lisa's just jealous because I'm going to die eventually and she isn't."

"What's the rush?" he asked while yawning wide in a way that reminded me of my dog. It was just another thing that twanged the strings of my heart.

"No rush," I said happily. "Just pointing out the obvious."

"Good," he said, blinking the last of sleep out of his beautiful, dark eyes. "'Cause I was just starting to like this 'living' thing, I'd hate to end it so soon."

I giggled and hugged him closer. The sun was starting to rise, and I recognized the familiar stretch of highway right before the Hardgrave exit. My parents would be awake soon, getting ready to go to church on Sunday morning…

"Just so you know," Lisa said quickly, "I won't be able to stay with you two at the Calders'. I have to go home, make up a story, pretend nothing happened… you know, the usual."

"Alright," I said, already missing the safety that came with her company, "But you will call us if anything comes up, right?"

"Of course! I'll be back before you know it. I just have to play normal for a little while, cover our tracks. Then we can figure out a better plan."

"What's wrong with my plan?" I asked lips pouted. "You said it might work!"

"Yeah, for the limited amount of time it takes Sean to get to Dartmouth, figure out you're not there, and come home to regroup. Were you planning on never leaving your house again?"

"No, I guess not…" I mumbled, seeing the obvious whole in my "ingenious plan."

"It's okay," Jacob whispered in my ear, pulling me even closer, "I'll still be with you, no matter where we go. The cranky vamp will have to pry you out of my dead hands to split us up."

Lisa frowned at his playful banter, but my mood seriously brightened, knowing that I could keep Jacob with me.

We arrived at my house early enough that my parents were still in pajamas. My mother was ecstatic that I had come down to visit, even if we had scared her nearly half to death by showing up when she was out getting the Sunday morning paper in her bath robe. It wasn't so much me that startled her, but rather the tall, husky, and terribly attractive man that was with me. Jacob had at least been conscious enough to put on a shirt that Lisa had bought for him at the one pit-stop we made during the trip home, but that didn't ease his shocking appearance. He did look like the kind of kid who was most likely to lead good girls like me astray, rob a bank, and make a getaway on some slick motorcycle… As it was, only the last bit was true (so he told me).

As soon as we rounded the corner of my driveway to walk up the steps toward the back door, my mother, in her fluffy green bathrobe, saw us, screamed, and threw the newspaper up in the air, where it landed on the roof of our mudroom.

"Hi Mom!" I said quickly, running to hug her, on the off chance that the shock would cause her to collapse. "I came home to visit for the weekend! And I brought my _friend_, Jake!" I carefully introduced Jacob, who was admittedly doing his best to look as unintimidating as possible, but still, not the kind of guy you want your daughter to bring home after her first week of college. At least my mother hadn't passed out from fear.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Calder," Jacob said awkwardly, while reaching up to get retrieve the newspaper from its perch on the roof. Yup, he was just that tall.

"It's n-nice to meet you t-too…" My mother stuttered, realizing that she was still standing outside in her bathrobe, while this young, incredibly tall, and incredibly strong man was waiting, embarrassed, to be invited in. "I didn't realize you made new friends so quickly!" She said, surprised, looking at me. "It's always nice to meet Tessa's friends, though some warning would have been nice…"

"Uh, we wanted to surprise you!" I said uneasily, faking enthusiasm. "Mission accomplished!"

My mom laughed nervously and invited us in.

"Don't be startled," I said to Jacob as we walked into the house, "But my dog, Hugo, is very shy of strangers, especially men, and he'll probably bark a lot…" but I didn't finish my sentence because as soon as we had closed the door, Hugo had leapt off his bed and ran towards us, tail wagging, tongue lolling, as he raced up to Jacob's feet, begging to be petted. My mouth dropped wide open as the dog who had become famous in the neighborhood for being the single most unfriendly canine rolled over for the boy I had brought home, licking his face and hands like he was a long lost friend.

Jacob laughed and bent down to pet Hugo who behaving like the worst watch dog on the planet. "He doesn't seem so vicious!"

I was still in awe. "I've never seen him act like this before! You are the first stranger he's ever not barked at! He doesn't even give that kind of a welcome to my _mom_! I don't believe this!"

Jacob smiled a wolfy grin at me. "I think I know why."

We entered the kitchen where my dad was cooking breakfast, also wearing a bathrobe. I was sufficiently embarrassed by this, but my mortification was eclipsed by the ensuing discussion.

My mom had warned him that I had brought home a boy from school, but I guess he hadn't made the obvious connection.

"Already bringing home boys, after just one week of college?" He chuckled lightly. "What will Sean think?"

My face turned bright red, but Jacob was surprisingly calm at the mention of his rival's name.

"Dad!" I said through gritted teeth. "I broke up with Sean!"

"And already moved on, I see," he said, increasing the redness in my cheeks, if that was at all possible. "Don't get me wrong, Jacob, you seem like a nice fellow. Hugo is obviously head over heels for you, if that's anything to judge by. I'm just surprised Tessa found someone so soon. She's always been rather picky when it comes to guys she likes." Hmm, best not to tell him Jake and I only met last night.

"Well, Sir," Jacob said in a strangely formal voice, "Your daughter is really special. We hit it off from the start." Okay, enough awkward situations for one morning.

"Right, well Dad, this has been nice," I said, grabbing Jacob's hand and pulling him towards the staircase, "But Jake and I have been up all night driving, and we're really exhausted. I know you guys are planning on going to church, but you wouldn't mind if we just collapsed for a couple of hours while you're gone, and then catch up this afternoon? Okay-" and I was running up the stairs with Jacob in tow.

We burst into my room, laughing hysterically.

"Hey," Jacob said playfully, "Why'd you drag me away? Your old man and I were just getting acquainted."

"Yeah, I'm sure he'll be putty in your hands in no time."

"Of course! I am, after all, quite the charmer."

"Why do you think that is? The instinct to be man's best friend?"

"No, it's my doggone persistence." We laughed again, and he pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. He then looked up and started gazing around my room.

It looked just as bare as it had when I left in the spring, though my mother had at least put a blanket on the bed so it didn't look so naked. All that was left of things that really screamed "TESSA" were the four purple walls, and some music notes I had tacked onto my wall as decoration.

"It looks pretty empty," He said sadly, absentmindedly playing with my hair.

"Well, yeah," I agreed. "I packed up all my things to bring to college. I didn't really want to leave anything behind." I realized that these words had a double entendre, and Jacob heard it.

"He really scarred you, didn't he?" He asked softly, holding me close to him so that I was at least comforted by his body, if not by his words.

"Yes," I said, "Though I didn't know it at the time. It was really Carly that forced me to clear out. She knew it was the right thing for me, even if I didn't."

"Thank god for good friends," he said. "I had my moments too, back in the day. If it wasn't for my pack brothers, I probably would have killed myself off in all the stupid fixes I got myself into."

"I would have liked to meet them," I said wistfully.

"You could! Some of them, anyway. Seth is still around, and his sister, Leah. She's been hiding out for quite some time, taking college classes, doing yoga, trying to live a normal life. My friend Embry is also sticking around. He's a bit older than the rest of us, he found his imprint a few years ago, a lovely girl named Eliza. I went to their wedding, but I haven't really kept in touch. It was… too difficult for me."

"You mean, to be around someone that happy?" I asked, enjoying a moment of looking in his eyes, my new favorite past time.

"Exactly. How did you know?"

"I used to feel the same way when I saw Carly and her boyfriend Mike together. The only way I could stand to be around them was by convincing myself that I didn't want what they had, that I was happier alone. It wasn't a very healthy route, but it was effective."

"And then you met Sean," he said, the dislike apparent in his voice, even when he was trying to be calm.

"No," I said firmly, glad that after all the struggle, my opinion was finally resolved. "Then Sean met me. He picked me, stole me from my semi-happy life and sent me down a spiral I had never intended to go. I don't even know how I thought I liked him!" I yelled, my voice cracking. "Everything about him repulsed me! He was always so cold, and I hate the cold! He always had to have his way. He would speak for me even if I had my own words to say. I never felt comfortable, or _safe_ when I was with him. If something was bothering me, he would always assume it was the complete opposite thing. He laughed at every dream, every aspiration I had, telling me that it was silly or juvenile. He tried to make me change my mind about where I would go to _college_ for Christ's sake!" I was boiling over, but the word vomit wouldn't stop. "Even now, I can't shake him! I should have known from the first day I brought him home and my dog hated him that he wasn't right for me! And now I'm stuck with these scars! The only good thing that has come from this whole nightmare is that I met you!"

I sobbed into Jacob's chest and he held me, even though he was trembling with anger too.

After a while, we were both still, and the heat from Jacob's body was warming the two of us, drying away my tears. I had been completely honest when I said that the only good thing that had sprung from Sean's and my relationship was meeting Jacob, and that alone was enough not to wish it be undone.

"I swear," Jacob breathed, "If I ever get my hands on that filthy bloodsucker, I could really do some damage-"

His anger cut him short, and I squeezed his hand to try and calm him down again.

"Let's not think about it right now," I said quietly. "We won't have much time with just the two of us. Let's pretend that I don't have an angry vampire on my trail, if that's possible, and just enjoy the time we have right now. What do you say?"

Jacob looked up at me and smiled. "Oh, I could do that. I could _definitely_ do that."

We talked for hours about our lives, our likes and dislikes. He described his old home in Washington, and I told him about my music. He told me stories from when there was a pack of ten wolves, all in each other's minds, and the embarrassing details that couldn't help but be shared. I told him about the day I first got Hugo. It was the most perfect three hours I had ever spent, getting to know him, and vice versa. It couldn't have lasted long enough.

**Awwww, aren't they sweet? Please review!!!! And remember to vote in my poll!**


	25. Chapter 25 In the Moonlight

**A/N: Hello again! So, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! Well, maybe you don't know it yet, but it is. I also have a secret to share: The very last line of this chapter is the the sole reason I wrote this entire story; the words just popped into my head one day (name and all- you'll see when you get there) and I just thought, "Wow, that would be so cool! What if..." And thus this wonderful story was invented :) So, anyway, I hope you like it! Also, don't forget to check out the playlist, and notice that I'M EXTENDING THE VOTING TIME FOR MY POLL!!!! So you can still vote on what to rename Plain As Day! I will make the final call TONIGHT, post the result tomorrow, and change the name on Saturday. Sound good? Great! So make sure you vote! And REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!**

_We talked for hours about our lives, our likes and dislikes. He described his old home in Washington, and I told him about my music. He told me stories from when there was a pack of ten wolves, all in each other's minds, and the embarrassing details that couldn't help but be shared. I told him about the day I first got Hugo. It was the most perfect three hours I had ever spent, getting to know him, and vice versa. It couldn't have lasted long enough._

**Chapter 25**

**In the Moonlight**

"Sorry to break up the love fest," Lisa stated bluntly while slamming open the door to my room and waltzing in, "But the jig is up. We need that new plan, and we need it now."

Both Jacob and I jumped at her entrance, her scent instinctively drawing a growl out of his chest.

"What do you mean?" He said huskily.

Lisa gracefully sat herself in the chair at my desk, swinging her legs to stretch out, and recited with her most blasé attitude, "Well, I went home, did my thing, blah blah blah… and they didn't buy it. They figured it was just a little to much of a coincidence that I mysteriously disappeared the same night that Sean received the heartbreaking news."

"So they figured out you're helping me?" I asked tensely.

"Conversely, they believe that I'm _threatening_ you, forcing you to break up with him. It's quite funny, actually, they conclusions they come to. I only just made it out of the house with my limbs intact, for which you should be very proud." She raised her hands in the air to imply that praise was due.

"Great, but where do we go now?" Jacob asked.

"Well, fortunately for us, my family is under the impression that I have fled the state. I am quite good at leaving false trails. Unfortunately, Sean will be calling me in about twelve seconds, demanding to know why my scent is all over Tessa's dorm room."

Right on schedule, Lisa's phone vibrated and she flipped it open with flair.

"Yes?" she said sweetly.

Sean's response was so livid and loud, even my weak human ears could hear his bellowing through the small speakers.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO TESSA?" He demanded in sharp and hostile tones.

Lisa continued playing off the sweet innocence, "Why, I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Don't lie to me you weasel! I can smell you all over her dorm room, and she's not here! Where is she? What did you do to her?"

"I can't believe you're suggesting I would do _anything_ to my good friend Tessa! After all, you're the one who's creeping around her room when she's not there."

"Stop messing with me, Lisa!" He yelled, sending shivers down my spine. "Where is she?"

"I can't tell you that, Sean," Lisa said calmly, but with determination. I had never been more glad to have her on my side.

"Do you know what she said to me?" He wailed, the pain finally evident in his voice. "She said she didn't love me! She said she didn't want to be with me any more! Why would she say that?" His dry sobs echoed off the bare walls of my room.

"Because she's being honest," Lisa replied unsympathetically.

"No! She can't be! I know she loves me! She has to!"

I whimpered, but Jacob muted my cries with his hand, wrapping his comforting arms around me.

"Sean!" Lisa barked into the phone, "You have to stop deluding yourself! You've been doing it since the day you met Tessa! She never loved you! She never will! She's meant to be with someone else, and she's sincerely happy with _him_, not with you! If you had just listened to me in the first place, none of this would have happened! Give it up!"

For a moment, Sean was silent, then his anger returned. "I knew it! I knew you had a hand in all this! _Tell me where she is Lisa!_"

"Over my pile of ashes!" she yelled, clicking the phone shut forcefully. Her bright amber eyes looked up at us, wild fury alive in them.

But also, fear.

"A p-plan-" I stuttered, trying to regain a stolid expression. However, Lisa was already redialing her phone. "Who are you calling?"

She shook her head with frustration as she held the phone to her ear, waiting for it to ring. "My family is useless, and they'd side with Sean anyway, so I'm bringing in yours."

"My family?" I spat with disbelief. "What good are they against vampires?"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Not _your_ family, don't be ridiculous."

I looked at Jacob, confused, but saw that his eyes weren't baffled like mine were. "She means _my _family," he said in his deep, husky voice, "Or at least the closest thing I have to one. The Cullens."

"Yes," Lisa said briskly, still waiting for the phone to ring. "Not only are they the closest friends we have, but they are also the closest thing to an authority in our world. If anyone can stop Sean, it's them." Her eyes lit up as a light, silvery voice answered the phone.

"Lisa!" It said, without the usual "hello," or pause for introductions. "It's been so long! I hope you are in fact calling to let me know that you're visiting us?"

"Yes, Alice, that's exactly why I'm calling. I'll be there soon!" Her voice was much friendlier talking to her vampire friend than it ever was when she talked to me, but I tried not to take it personally.

"Oooh!" I heard Alice squeal with delight. "I can't wait! Well, I suppose I'll have to, but you know what I mean. Bye!" Lisa hung up the phone with another affirmative _click. _

"That was a little short," I said. "You didn't even tell her we were coming!"

"That's because I wouldn't put it past Sean to bug my phone." She paused, then dropped the shiny pink cell phone in my garbage bin. "Or to use GPS tracking."

Then she tugged my hand and started me pulling me down the hallway in an all-too-familiar scene.

"Whoa whoa," I said, wrenching my hand back before she had pulled me clear out of the house, Jacob at my heels. "I'm not disappearing without a trace again, not when my parents are involved." I quickly scrawled a note on a pad of paper and left it on the kitchen table.

_Mom, Dad-_

_Totally forgot I have rehearsal this afternoon!_

_So sorry our visit got cut short! I promise I'll come home again soon!_

_Love you, Tess _

_P.S. I'll bring Jacob next time too, I think he's a keeper!_

I grinned as Jacob read the last line and laughed. "I'm keeper, huh?" He said, squeezing my shoulder.

"Heck yes!" I laughed, just as Lisa groaned in frustration.

"Hurry _up_, let's go!"

"Gosh, Lisa, you're so impatient!" I said teasingly.

"Yeah, let a guy breathe, why don't you?" Jacob joined in as we paraded out the back door.

"You don't seem to be allowing me that courtesy, dog," Lisa stated bitterly.

"Like you even need to…" Jacob mumbled.

And all too soon, we were on the road again.***

I was dreaming. I had to be, since to the extent of my knowledge, I did not own a fur coat of any kind, yet I was wearing one. I was running across a snow covered field, but it wasn't like my usual dreams. I was running on four feet, or should I say paws, and I was sharply aware of a sweet, painful smell. I was happy though. I was covered in soft, warm fur. Mmmm, warm… so warm…

Yes, I had fallen asleep on top of Jacob again, feeling his heat, his steady breathing giving me the subconscious illusion of running across the snowy tundra. What surprised me was that when I looked out my window, a snowy tundra was almost exactly what I was seeing.

We were the only car driving on the long stretch of highway that was crossing through an empty plane of land, the clear, silver moon casting a brilliant white glow over everything, just like it was covered in snow. Only the rare patches of trees cut across this portion of the road, so I didn't have much to look at, except the glowing orb in the sky.

The pale circle marred the otherwise perfectly midnight blue sky, every contour of the moon's surface visible in the cold air. I saw the lunar craters curve into a shining white smile-

"Oh!" I shivered and forced my eyes shut, clutching to Jacob's chest like a child hiding from something terrifying.

"Tess," he said groggily, shaken from his sleep, putting a protective hand around me, "What is it?"

I looked back at the moon, seeing nothing but its white perfection. "N-nothing. I just woke up."

He quietly chuckled and I felt the rumble starting from deep in his stomach, working its way through his body until I heard the beautiful sound. "Tess," he said, "I may not have known you very long, but I know when you're lying. Now, tell me what's wrong."

I blushed, ashamed at my overreaction. "It's really nothing, I just have an overexcited imagination. I was looking at the moon and, well… I thought I saw Sean's face. It scared me."

He stared at me with an undefined look that I took to mean he was finally realizing I was crazy. "It's silly, I know. It just startled me, is all. Like I said, unchecked imagination-"

"It's not silly," he said very seriously. I looked at him with confused eyes, and he continued. "I- Well, a long time ago, when all I thought about was saving Bella, I would see Edward's face everywhere. And then, after he changed Bella, and I had no more hope, the visions still followed me around, only this time I'd see Bella's face, the pale shadow of the life she once had, following me everywhere. You have no idea how many nights I wished to be alone so badly, but was haunted by her deadly smile."

The melancholy sadness that hid in his voice could only have been a shadow of the pain he had once felt, but it was still enough to tear my heart in sympathy. I put my hand on his face, but he moved it instead to his chest where I felt the strong, steady heartbeat.

"It doesn't last forever," he said simply. "I'm here now. No man, and no vampire, is ever going to hurt you again."

"I can never be so sure," I whispered. "I still see him, there, in the pale moon." He followed my gaze to the circle in the sky.

"It doesn't matter," he said finally. "He's been eclipsed. No one could love you like I do, and no one will fight more for your life than I will."

My attention was torn to the road because we had turned off the highway and onto dirt roads that wound through the woods. The moon still cast a beautiful, eerie light through the boughs of the pine trees.

"Where are we?" I asked loudly to get Lisa's attention.

"Northern Quebec," she said. "On the border of the Inuit reservations, heading towards the Cullen Estate."

"The Cullen _Estate_?" I asked incredulously. "They have an _estate_?"

"Well, you tell me what else _you'd_ call it," Lisa snapped at me, just as a large house came into view.

Large was understatement. A _huge_ understatement. What stood before us was the biggest, and grandest house I had ever seen. Even in the moonlight, I could see that it was beautifully crafted with the most exquisite designs. It rivaled the Newport mansions I had visited with Carly, Buckingham palace, and the Chateaux of France, all in one. My mouth dropped wide open when I first saw the house, and remained that way until we pulled up in front of the massive front door.

Jacob was laughing at my reaction. "Yes, Esme Cullen has a bit of flair when it comes to architectural design."

"I'll say!" I managed to gasp as he helped me out of the car to stretch my tired limbs. A number of people were already gathering to greet us on the front steps of their luxurious wraparound porch, or, if not to greet us, then at least to gawk at the show that was sure to ensue.

Neither the unimaginable beauty, nor the incredible paleness startled me; to the contrary, I had been expecting such things. Rather, it was the immediate feeling of hospitality that threw me off guard. I looked across the faces of the people I had imagined from books, and didn't feel the fear I had been anticipating. I knew I could trust them from the onset, something I had never felt when I was with Sean's family. Yes, I loved Alison and Harper, Scarlett and Roger, but only out of necessity. If we had met in other circumstances, not one of them would have given me a second glance. These people, though; I could tell they lived life with open hearts. Their matching amber eyes had a warmth to them that I had never seen in Sean's. I already knew I was in the right place.

Lisa knew it too, it was obvious. She drifted across the ground to where the Cullens had gathered like it was the most natural thing. Her normally rigid movements were now graceful and she flowed with ease. A smile had also spread across her face, something I had rarely seen in sincerity.

"Alice!" she squealed with delight, flying across the yard into the arms of a pixie-like girl who could easily have been her twin. She was as tiny as Lisa, with cropped black hair that seemed to encompass her enthusiasm that spilled out over the brim of her personality. Alice's movements could have been choreographed, they were so smooth, like a dance, and her voice sounded like shining bells.

"Lisa! I'm so happy to see you! And no, I haven't told them yet who you brought with you. Even Edward doesn't know; I'm _that_ good." She smiled with excitement, turning her gold eyes toward me. I must have still been awestruck, I couldn't say anything.

"Hello, Jacob," A voice called at from the congregation, one that I identified to a girl with long brown hair and a heart shaped face. The girl was holding hands with a man, one who had handsomely nimble features and spiky, copper hair. I made a guess that this was Bella, the heroine of all the stories I had read, and her love, Edward.

"What's the surprise?" One of the other men asked. He was tall and muscular, with dark curly hair and a grin that stretched form ear to ear. "I hate when you keep secrets, Alice!"

"Jacob?" Edward asked in a smooth voice, "Would you care to explain?"

Jacob began to say something, but I held up my hand to stop him, and stepped forward. All the golden eyes were on me now, seeing me as a plain human girl, who maybe didn't have very fragrant blood, but was average nevertheless. I looked into each pair of those eyes, entreating them to hear my story.

"You don't know me," I said, "but I know you, and I need your help to stop Sean McNally."

**Isn't that a cool line? _I _think so, but hey, I'm just the author- _You're _the audience, so you tell me! Review!**


	26. Chapter 26 Larger Than Life

**A/N: Hey Everyone! First off, I would just like to say, Holy Begonias! (that's a flower, in case you were wondering...) We reached over 100 reviews! I NEVER thought we'd come this far! That's pretty darn amazing, I have to say. Heck, it's incredible, cool, spectacular, and face melting, all in one! Yeah... I'm pretty hyped about it all, not going to lie. **

**So anyway, I'm posting this in the AM hours to give you double the time to warn you, Plain As Day is changing its name to... _This is Fact, Not Fiction!!!!!!_ Yay! Three cheers for the power and importance of democracy. You voted for it, that's gonna be the new name. I'm kind of liking it myself, it's got a nice ring to it... Anywho, the name will officially change TOMORROW, so be aware! I hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone's reading experience!**

**Speaking of how many chapters are left, which we weren't but I'm bringing it up anyway, there are FIVE chapters left! That's it! I may be tempted to write an epilogue, but that's something that must be decided after the last chapter is posted, not sooner. I've also started working on a sequel (WHAT? A _SEQUEL?_) which is going to be slow going as I'm pretty bogged down with studying for AP exams an whatnot, but I'll try to hop on it asap! Alright, that's all my news! Enjoy the next chapter!**

**Chapter 26**

**Larger Than Life**

There really wasn't anything that could compare in odd sights to the confused eyes of eight unfamiliar vampires. That fact that I had read so much about them in the books I loved didn't lessen the fact that I was in a strange predicament. I evaluated the faces of the bunch, trying to identify them to the characters I had imagined in my head, picking out certain features that I recognized. I already thought I knew who Bella and Edward were; the couple holding hands, she with wavy brown hair and him with spiky bronze. The large, muscular vampire who had voiced his enthusiasm for "surprises" I thought must be Emmett Cullen, Edward's incredibly strong brother. There was a tall, unbelievably beautiful blonde standing next to him, ten times more gorgeous than even Scarlett. This, I figured, must be Rosalie, though she was different than I had imagined her to be. She looked older, but not in a negative way. More like there was a maternal glow around her. Another couple, more subtle in their affections, were standing in the center of the group. The man looked mush older than the teenage vampires, with hair so light, it could have been white. He must have been at least in his mid twenties, though perhaps not in his thirties yet, and his beautiful wife was standing statuesque by his side. The elegant Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Looking more sullen than the rest of them, a tall and lanky vampire with dark blonde curls was glowering at Alice and Lisa, more with annoyance than contempt, like he was upset he hadn't been in on the secret. Alice turned to him and giggled, "Stop looking so glum, Jasper! You know I couldn't tell you! It was a _surprise_." They were an eclectic bunch, it was obvious, but bonds of love tied them all together.

Suddenly, all the eyes were averted to another couple that were coming into view. The two came sprinting out of the woods, happy smiles on their faces as the met the crowd of vampires. These two, however, were clearly something else. The boy was dark skinned, just like Jacob, though he was a little shorter, and his hair wasn't the deep black that I loved. He was still boyishly handsome, even after eighty years.

The girl had long, flowing blonde hair, just like Rosalie's, and hazel brown eyes. He cheeks were flushed from running, but her pale skin still sparkled in the moonlight. She was slim, but her cheeks were round like Emmett's, giving her smile an irresistible quality. She flew to Rosalie's side, fitting into the natural curve of a mother's caring arms.

"What's going on?" She asked in an angelic voice.

The boy had another reaction. When he saw Jacob, his eyes lit up and he hollered at him in a brotherly manner. "Jacob! Man, where've ya been?" He took a running leap and jumped on Jacob's shoulders, laughing wildly as Jake tossed him off with little struggle. But he bounced back, both of them still chuckling as they pounded each other's backs, a manly gesture.

"I've been lost, and found," Jacob said seriously, but every ounce of happiness still intact. The boy looked over Jacob's tall shoulder to see me standing sheepishly by myself. "Seth, this is Tessa, and Tessa, this is my wolf brother Seth."

"No…" Seth said, dumbstruck, still staring at me, his eyes wide in shock. "You didn't… You did? _You?_" Jacob nodded, a smile creeping up to the corners of his eyes, unable to contain his happiness. "Ah! You did!" Seth yelped in excitement. "Oh man! Leah's gonna be _pissed_, she's like the only one now, right? I swear, she had you pegged as the last lone wolf, or at least that she would imprint _before_ you, but she's gonna flip when she finds out you beat her!"

"Wait," Bella said cautiously. "Jacob, you imprinted? Oh, that's wonderful!" Her pale, beautiful face split into the most astonishing smile, and she stepped forward to take my hand in hers, and speak directly to me. "I know this may seem strange to you, since you probably had no actually part in what happened, but thank you anyway. Thank you for being alive, and for finding him. No one deserves to love more than my-" she stuttered, then restated, "than _your _Jacob."

Emmett's laughter was the first to break the awkward, hesitant silence that had settled over the congregation. "Yeah! No longer the last bachelor!" And suddenly everyone was gathering around us, delivering friendly congratulations and welcomes, and among the proximity of the many frozen limbs of nine (and a half) vampires, Jacob kept me warm in his embrace.

"So," Jasper said very seriously as soon as the jovial mood had settled somewhat. "You still haven't explained to us how Sean McNally is involved in this lovely play of events that you're trying to tie us into. Jacob, I thought your days of tangling with vampires were long over."

"Hey," Jacob said defensively, "This one isn't one me. The problem came with the package." He looked at me and everyone understood. Jasper appraised me with new eyes.

"Aha, well then, how do you know my good friend Sean?" He asked me.

The memories flashed through my mind briefly, and I heard Edward exhale slowly. "Whoa," he said. "That bad, huh?"

"Um," I said nervously, "How did you do that?"

Edward gave me a wily smile and everyone else in the group tried hard not to giggle. "Do what?"

"Read my mind!" I barked. "You can really do that? What did you see? How much of my thoughts do you know?" I could feel myself nearly perspiring from the nervousness this small ability was causing me. My thoughts were _private_, I didn't want some strange vampire reading them!

"I apologize sincerely for the inconvenience and discomfort my talent causes you, that is not my intention at all. And I would not be such a strange vampire if you took the time to know me. After all, as Jacob's imprint, you are one of the family now. Why don't we all go inside, sit down, and Tessa, you can tell us about the predicament you've gotten yourself into. I know I've already heard it once, but it would really be better if everyone else heard if from you."

So we all filed into the magnificent house. I didn't even attempt to hide my awe at the beautiful furnishings. The house could have been a museum with all the artwork and design. Yet there was such a deep feeling of comfort, I couldn't do anything but envy that they _lived_ there. We entered the grand foyer, full of the pieces of artwork, and walked on through to what I suspected would be an elegant parlor, but in fact the room was full of games. There were multiple chess sets, a pool table, a massive TV mounted on the wall that was attached to several complicated electronic gaming systems, a pinball machine, and even a table set up with a puzzle in the works. Clearly the Cullens liked to enjoy themselves in their endless days.

We eventually wound our way through the beautiful maze to a sitting room with several lavish couches that had enough room for everyone who was now waiting to hear what _I _had to say. To say that I was a little nervous was an understatement to the tenth degree.

Everyone was seated, and twelve pairs of ears that possessed exemplary hearing were listening to the accelerated beat of my heart. Just then, I felt a wave of calmness sweep over me. I could do this, I was capable. If I had looked up, I would have seen Edward giving Jasper a knowing look.

"This winter, the McNally clan moved to Hardgrave, my hometown. I met Sean at school, and he basically forced a friendship between us. I didn't know then, that he had intentions for something… more." What followed was the excruciating tale of how I had stumbled through several months as the girlfriend of a self-absorbed, and very determined vampire. Everyone's faces held the most intense looks of concern. Edward flinched when I told about Sean's unchecked strength that had me bruised beyond identification, and he actually broke the arm of the chair he was sitting in when I went on to tell them that Sean had begged to change me into a vampire.

"Edward!" Bella scolded.

"You know I can't help it!" He retorted loudly. "It absolutely _infuriates _me that someone can be so indecent! To try to _force_ this lifestyle onto someone is the worst kind of impropriety I know! It goes against everything we stand for! Our lifestyle is designed to preserve human life, not take it away!"

"And now that Jacob imprinted on me, of all people, it's an even bigger problem than it ever should have been," I said dolefully.

"Don't say that," Carlisle scorned. "Don't say 'me of all people.' Genetically you are the best possible imprint! You're a recessive gene pool, what with the blonde hair and blue eyes. When you and Jacob have children, absolutely every one of them will most likely look identical to him, and they'll all get the wolf gene. It's genetic genius." This all thrilled the doctor, but I didn't have the same enthusiasm.

"Do you hear that?" I said, turning to Jacob. "I won the genetic lottery."

"I already knew that," he replied.

"It's a good thing you're so good looking," I said joked. "I'm going to have to see your face on all our children!"

"That's such a shame," he said in response, kissing the top of my head.

"What I don't understand," Alice interjected in her sweet, quiet voice, "Is _why_ you said yes to Sean? If it wasn't exactly what you wanted?"

"I was scared," I admitted. "I was never raised to be spoiled in any way, or to be rude when given something of great value. In all senses, Sean was offering me what would have been a fine life; you know this, because it's think kind of life you all lead. I couldn't think of a reason not to say yes, and that unknown terrified me."

Alice's expression was still bemused. Edward laughed. "Pardon Alice, she doesn't quite understand the fear that is occasionally intertwined with the future unknown."

"Well of course I don't!" Alice snapped. "Not when I always know the future!"

"Uh, not always," Seth remarked teasingly. Alice gave him a pouting glare.

"That's something interesting," Lisa commented, for the first time since we arrived. "Do you still have difficulty reading the future when werewolves are involved? Because so far I haven't had that problem."

"I've narrowed down the science somewhat," Alice said matter-of-factly. "After wolves imprint, I don't have nearly the same handicap as I did before they find their soul mate. Because, generally speaking, whatever they do will be in direct correlation to their imprint. As of right now, I can see Jacob's future because he is constantly at Tessa's side, and nothing can change that."

This news brightened my day, even if I kind of knew it already.

"Can you see anything in Sean McNally's future?" Bella asked curiously, bringing us all back to the issue at hand.

Alice closed her eyes in deep concentration. "It's complicated… It's like looking in a kaleidoscope. He is completely determined to find Tessa and change her, but at the same time, that's entirely impossible because Jake will never let it happen. There are five hundred different scenes that could play out, and none of them are pretty."

"Well that's reassuring," I said sarcastically.

Jacob pulled me into his embrace and whispered in my ear. "Nothing is going to touch you, not while I'm around."

"Yes, but we'd also like to _keep_ you around," Jasper stated with a tone of complete seriousness. "I know Sean McNally, and he is not one of the run-of-the-mill newborns that you're used to . He's been around for quite some time, and he's smart. He saved my neck more than once in the Red and Gold War. He knows what he's doing, and his willpower is more amplified than the average vampire. I suspect that it is a kind of talent he has."

"Sean doesn't have any talents!" I replied automatically. "He told me he doesn't!"

"Not in the supernatural sense like I do," Lisa agreed. "But he does have a stronger sense of determination than anyone has a right to. It probably comes from his determination to remain alive when everyone around him was dying. These traits possess us in this alternate life."

"There has to be something that we can do though," I persisted, trying to hold back the fear of hopelessness that was seeping over me. I grabbed Jacob's hand, but the warmth wasn't affecting my mood like it usually did. I had too many terrible images of Jacob's limp body lying beneath the towering, shallow-faced figure of Sean, the terror of my existence, Sean's teeth dripping heavy red blood…

"Stop that," Edward said firmly. "Stop thinking such things." He turned and glared at Jasper until I felt the weight of hopelessness lifted off my shoulders…

"You're doing that, aren't you?" I asked in a light voice that reminded me of people under the influence of painkillers. What he was doing to me was certainly as effective as drugs.

Jasper's eyes admitted guilt, but he didn't say anything.

"Look, there's no reason to be panicky," Alice said confidently. "We know more than we think."

"Like…?" Jacob prompted, still holding on to me with an iron grip.

"Well, we know that he's looking for Tessa, that no amount of reason will dissuade him, and that he has difficulty believing what people tell him."

"This is helpful information?" I asked skeptically.

"Of course!" Alice said gleefully. "The fact that he's looking for Tessa helps us determine where he is and what he'll do next. Knowing that we have no hope of convincing him gives us an advantage because we can prepare for a fight, and he can't. And finally, the trust issue makes it easy for us to trick him into going where we want! It's all great information!"

I failed to absorb most of what she said, because I was still caught on the first bit of information. "Wait, can you tell where he is? He isn't headed here, is he?"

Alice closed her eyes for a second, then they flashed open and focused on me. "No, he isn't headed here. Since he doesn't entirely believe the story about Jacob, he hasn't made the connection that you are here with us. I see him leaving home to go search the entire Dartmouth campus and all the surrounding towns. Then his plans are to go back to Hardgrave and make sure you didn't go home. After that fails, he'll go to New England College to see if you are with your friend Carly."

"Oh my God!" I squealed, falling out of my seat. Jacob caught me with his protecting arms, but that didn't settle the fear that had swept over me. "He's going to see Carly! What if he hurts her? We have to stop him! And I don't want him near my family either!" Even Jasper's influence on my emotions couldn't calm the frenzy that I was in. The images I had of dead Jacob were trading off with images of Carly, my Mom, my Dad, John, and even my dog-

"STOP," Edward barked firmly, gripping his head with an almost painful expression. "Stop it right now, or so help me, I will knock you unconscious so I don't have to see it anymore."

"You lay a finger on her and I will rip you in two, leech," Jacob snapped, standing up aggressively, his body trembling.

"I'm not going to touch her!" Edward yelled defensively. "Calm yourself, I won't hurt her. We'll come up with a plan, Tessa, and none of your loved ones will be hurt by Sean McNally. In fact, Jasper has already begun formulating what sounds like a very good strategy."

All eyes turned to Jasper's concentrated face. "I did have a thought," he admitted.

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Well, we should cut him off before he starts his search. Before he leaves Dartmouth, even. What Alice said was true; We have the capabilities to divert him from whatever path he may be on, so there's no reason to put any of your friends in danger. We can easily lure him anywhere by telling him that's where you are-"

"Hold on," Lisa interrupted. "I don't like the idea of using her as bait. Not at all."

"Neither do I!" Jacob yelled.

"Well, it's not like the other option worked so well last time," Jasper chided.

"What 'last time?' " I asked curiously. All eyes were avoiding Bella, who was looking sheepish.

"The time that a vampire was after me," she admitted. "Jasper wanted to use me as bait, but Edward wouldn't allow it, and she found me anyway, in the end." She looked at Edward who was appraising her with the most loving eyes.

"I don't like it," Jacob said again, unrelenting.

"With four strong vampires and a wolf around her, what's going to hurt her?" Jasper retorted, taking a step towards Jacob and I imploringly. Jacob immediately countered his step and growled.

"Wait," I said, breaking the tension that was growing between the two. "What will you do, once he finds me? What would you do to stop him?"

No one said anything. Even friendly Emmett looked hesitant to say anything. I looked to Jacob, begging him to tell me. He opened his mouth to say something, but Edward stopped him.

"No Jacob, she shouldn't hear it from you." That's when I heard Lisa produce an unfamiliar sound. It sounded like a whimper.

"Lisa?" I asked concerned. "What is it?"

She let out a cry of pain and frustration. "You humans! You always get in the way of _everything! _Nothing is safe with you around!" And she ran out of the house at lightening speed. Rosalie let out a surrendering sigh and followed her.

I whipped my head around to face what was left of the group, anger riling up inside me. "Someone better tell me what is going on, right now." Once again, Jacob looked like he was about to tell me, but Emmett beat him to it.

"God, Tessa! There's really only one thing they could do, isn't there? They'd have to kill him!"

My breath caught in my throat. Not nearly as terrible as all the images of Jacob, or Carly dead, but still an awful sight all the same, was Sean's ripped limbs, scattered on the ground, while a large chunk of his corpse burned in red flames, a pale face staring at me with a look of pain from the center of the pyre.

"Your mental images are incredibly graphic," Edward muttered tensely as he massaged his temples, trying to force the pictures out of his mind.

"But they're accurate, aren't they?" I cried out, the sadness breaking through my composure. I filled my mind with more of the ugly scenes, causing Edward to flinch and move away from me.

"I can't take this anymore," he said finally, running out of the room. A slam of a door confirmed that he had left the house.

"Oh dear," Bella said, concerned. "I better go after him." She gave me a sympathetic half-smile and followed her husband.

"Well," Carlisle said lightly, "You've already chased off a third of my family, one measly vampire shouldn't be much of a challenge, should it?" He smiled earnestly at me, then took Esme's hand and led her out of the room. It appeared that the meeting was over for now. Emmett and Halo went into the game room, and from the sound of familiar music, they were apparently playing Halo III, of all things, on their complex gaming system. Alice took Jasper with her upstairs to plan out the details of the elaborate diversion/death trap that they were setting for Sean. Seth came over and struck up a conversation with Jacob, catching up on all brotherly news. At any other time I would have been enraptured listening to them, but I was too caught up in my thoughts to pay attention, even with Jacob's arm wrapped firmly around me.

Sean McNally was going to die, and it was all because of me. No matter how I looked at the situation, this knowledge was no less painful. I loved Sean. Not in the same way I loved Jacob, not even _close_. But that didn't change the fact that I did love him, once in my life, and I didn't wish any harm to him. He didn't deserve to die because of this supernatural change of events. No matter how I presented my point, however, the fact that he would die didn't change in anyone's minds. To them, it was simply the job of protecting life, mine in particular. Sean's life wasn't of the same worth as mine.

It was there, sitting on the Cullens' couch, with Jacob's arm wrapped around me while he chatted amiably with Seth about someone named Quil, only minutes after the decision had been made, I knew that I had to save Sean's life. I would give in, let him change me, and live a life with him as a vampire, if it would save him from his untimely death. It wasn't an easy decision by any means; there would never be a day for all of eternity when I would want anyone's arms but Jacob's resting around my waist, and there would never be a day when the thought and essence of Sean McNally didn't repulse me, but these were nothing when it came down to the consequence of life and death.

As Jacob wiped away the few tears that dripped down my cheeks, he assumed they were tears of fear, rather than tears from the pain of knowing that all too soon, I would have to say goodbye to him.

**Pretty dramatic stuff, huh? Let me know what you think! How did I do characterizing the Cullens? I need to know for future writing, so please REVIEW!**


	27. Chapter 27 Family Matters

**A/N: Ok, so, this is the first chapter posted under the new title (Yay!!!), I hope no one gets confused! This chapter might be seen as fluffly, but I wanted to write more with the Cullens, so there! Please let me know how I did portraying our favorite characters, it's important for future stories. Speaking of, my possible sequel isn't necessarily a continuation of this story, so don't think I'll be leaving you guys with a cliff hanger! (*reader breathes a sigh of relief*). There are only four chapters left after this one, (Noooo!!!!!!), but more stuff should be coming if I can ever get my studying under control. Hope you like the next chapter, review as always!!!**

**Chapter 27**

**Family Matters**

I woke up in a strange room with a familiar pair of arms around me. I looked up and saw that Jacob was still awake, watching over me like a guardian angel.

"Hey," I said quietly, searching for his beautiful eyes in the dark.

"Hey, yourself," He said in his sexy voice, leaning down to kiss me lightly. I didn't want the kiss to end. I tried to shift so that I could squeeze a few seconds more out of it, but he chuckled deeply and pulled away, leaving me to pout.

"Hmph, why are you always so careful?" I asked grumpily.

He laughed again. "I'm not. I didn't used to be, at least, but it didn't seem to get me anywhere, so I'm trying a new method. Besides, we have our whole lives to not be careful, don't we? Why ruin the surprise now?"

Guilt jabbed at my heart, but I couldn't say anything. Instead, I addressed my current surroundings. "Where are we? I don't remember seeing this room."

"You drifted asleep when I was talking with Seth, which was hilarious, by the way. He was so sorry that he had literally bored you to sleep. Anyway, Esme said that I should bring you up to my room so you could get some proper sleep. And no, cars and couches do not count when it comes to proper sleep."

"_Your_ room?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, the Cullens keep a room especially for me since I tend to visit so often. I used to hate it, cause of the smell, but I've since forbidden the entrance of any vampire, so it's almost tolerable."

I looked around the dark room and didn't see much. There were dirty, ripped clothes lying on the floor, and what looked like scattered car parts, as well as a large picture of a car on the wall. Not knowing anything about cars, I had no idea what kind it was.

"It doesn't look very lived in," I commented.

"Well, neither did your room," Jacob said mockingly. "Let's not be judgmental, okay? It's only fair. We both have homes away from home. It used to be that my only home was the earth under my feet."

"And now where's your home?" I asked. He smiled as me and it nearly made my heart stop.

"Wherever you are."

I relished in the moments after he said this, snagging a few more kisses before he felt obligated to get up and move around.

"Where is everyone?" I asked, noticing how quiet the house was when we went downstairs.

"Well, Edward and Bella left to go to Hardgrave," Jacob told me as he rummaged through the cabinets in the Cullens' state-of-the-art kitchen, finding a box of cereal which he poured the entire contents of into a mixing bowl and began to chow down. "They found the McNallys and explained the situation at hand, but the clan decided not to do anything. They were surprisingly undisturbed by the whole ordeal, and the four left Hardgrave without even a second thought."

"What? They just left? They won't try to help Sean?"

"The bonds between the McNallys are not the strong family connection like you know the Cullens to have. They behave differently, using the family portrait as more of a façade than an actual lifestyle."

It pained me somewhat to think that Alison and Harper wouldn't care what happened to their adopted son, or how Roger and Scarlett would feel for that matter. Looking back on my memories of the family with untainted eyes, I saw that all the illusions of family love were just that, illusions. Had I really believed that they loved one another like a real family? They shared the image of a family because it was convenient. It was all fake, a huge lie. They could do just as well without either Lisa or Sean, just as they had moved on after Joseph died without ever mentioning him, and the same when Lisa left before. They wouldn't even muster themselves out of their comfortable life to help their brother, would they? I imagined them somewhere else, a new town, a new house, living happily, as if Sean and Lisa had never existed.

"Those jerks!" I spat with disgust.

"Whoa, kid. Settle down, it's not you they're offending."

"Sure it is! They called me 'part of their family' for a good six months! Now I find out it was all a big pretend!"

Jacob shrugged. "I wouldn't take it too personally. Not all vampires are as good-natured as the Cullens. That's why I don't know any others." He smiled at me, pouring another, smaller bowl or cereal in front of me which I ate without vigor.

"So Bella and Edward are gone," I said, "Where is everyone else?"

"Hunting," Jacob said simply. "Alice, Jasper, and Emmett are all coming with us to catch Sean. We're going back to Dartmouth and end his trail there. It's a very simple plan after that."

Right, so simple. I was at least glad that Edward wouldn't be around, reading my thoughts to run away and save Sean's life. My stomach churned at the thought of leaving Jacob.

"Are you alright?" He asked with concern lacing his voice, eying the hand that was gripping my side. "You look like you're going to be sick."

"Yeah, I guess I'm just worried," I said nervously, concealing what was really bothering me.

"I don't blame you," Jacob said. He had already moved past the mixing bowl of cereal and was now attacking a box of assorted muffins that he had found in another cabinet. "Everything is going to be okay though, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," I lied.

The back door slammed open and in walked Seth and Halo who were holding hands and looking flushed.

"We were out hunting and we raced back," Halo said in her bell tone voice. "I won."

"Sure you did," Seth said slyly.

"Don't even try to convince me that you let me win," Halo retorted, "'Cause I can tell when you're really trying, and you weren't holding back _this_ time."

"Whatever you want to believe, Honey," Seth said, pecking Halo on the cheek as he sat down at the kitchen table and grabbed the empty cereal box. "Really, Jacob? That was _my _breakfast! You're gonna eat me out of house and home!"

"You just went hunting, why are you complaining?" Jacob laughed, breaking out another box of muffins. How much could he eat?

"So what?" Seth whined. "I'm still hungry! What _haven't_ you eaten already?"

"There's a box of dog treats in the cabinet over the refrigerator," Rosalie said sweetly as she glided into the kitchen. "Feel free to help yourself."

"Rose," Seth said dramatically, "It's been almost eighty years and you're _still_ pulling these kinds of jokes? How long are you going to hate me for loving your daughter?"

Rosalie smiled devilishly. "It never gets old."

Jacob swallowed what looked like a whole muffin and pointed at the bread crisper. "I left the box of doughnuts because I know they're your favorite, Seth."

While Seth got up to grab the food, Halo plopped gracefully into the seat next to me. "Hey, Tessa! I heard Seth's story-telling put you to sleep last night. I was surprised, I always thought the old Quileute legends were terribly interesting." Her smile reminded me of her mother's.

Seth laughed from across the room. "Oh sure, you say that now, Honey, but I know how you really feel about the Quileute legends! Don't listen to her, Tess. Halo wouldn't sit through another telling of those stories if I turned wolf and begged her to." Now I understood the smile.

Halo laughed. "Okay, he's right. I don't really blame you. They can get kind of boring after the hundredth time you've heard them."

"It wasn't that," I said. "I was just really tired. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about three days."

"Well, there's no better place to sleep than in the arms of a werewolf," Halo chirped. I distinctly heard Rosalie give a little "Hmph!" before she left the room. Halo's eyes followed her retreating form. "Don't mind my mother, she's never exactly approved of my choice in husband."

"What choice?" I heard Rosalie holler from the other room.

"Aww, Rose. Such a fan," Seth said sarcastically, sitting down with a plate heaping with food. "Deep down she really loves me, I know it."

The gentle banter within the family was so cute, I couldn't help but smile.

Emmett's large profile strode into the kitchen, giving both Seth and Jacob a manly slap on the back and kissing Halo on the cheek in a fatherly way.

"How is everyone this morning? How'd you sleep Tessa?"

"Fine, thanks," I whispered meekly.

"It's so nice to have a human around again," Emmett said cheerfully. "I miss the days when we could laugh at Bella and Rose. Nothing's been quite as fun since they turned vampire."

"Hey!" Halo cried, pouting angelically.

"You know what I mean, sweetie."

"Daddy?" She asked, playing up what I figured was a very persuasive "Daddy's Girl" impression. "Why do you have to go with Alice and Jasper down to Dartmouth? Can't you stay here with mom and me?" Her pleas were accompanied by the most knee-melting pout I had ever seen.

"No way!" Emmett laughed, resulting in further cries from his charming daughter. "This is the most exciting thing that's happened since Halo III came out! I'm not missing a second of it! This is like the time we chased James and when we fought against Victoria put together!" He reveled in the memories of past glories for a few seconds, a goofy smile playing on his face. Halo sighed and resigned, pulling Seth behind her as she headed into the game room.

"Talk to you later, Tessa!" She called behind her sweetly.

Jacob caught my expression and laughed. "Five minutes with Halo is like a sugar rush, on steroids."

"I heard that!" She barked from the other room.

"I expected you to!" He called back. It wasn't possible to say anything in this house and not be heard by the supernatural ears everywhere.

"So, are we almost ready to go?" Emmett asked excitedly. "The sooner the better!"

"We're just waiting for Alice and Jasper," Jacob said, just as the couple waltzed in through the back door.

"You called," Alice said, smiling upon entrance.

"Then let's get going!" Emmett roared enthusiastically, and before I knew it, he had picked me up and swung me over his shoulder, carrying me through the house and out to Lisa's car out front. Lisa was already leaning on the shiny, black hood.

"Put me down Emmett!" I squealed helplessly. Jacob was at my side, entreating Emmett to put me down as well, but not making any physical effort to do so himself. Emmett did finally release me when Carlisle's cool voice called from the front porch.

"Not so fast, adventurers. We never leave without saying goodbye." Carlisle and Esme were waiting with a small backpack for all of us, as some form of parting gifts.

We all gathered around and had goodbye hugs. Esme gave me one of the most maternal embraces I had ever known, and whispered in my ear, "We will see you soon, sweetheart. You're not a stranger here."

Carlisle gave me a gentle pat on the back and said, "Let Jacob take care of you, no one can do that better than him. Everything will be fine, I assure you."

Less than twelve hours from when we arrived, we were back on the road, with Esme calling after us, "Take care of yourselves! Be careful! Come home soon!"

Home. I had another home to add to my growing list, but as Jake had pointed out earlier, home is where the heart is. My home was wherever Jacob was, and soon I would have no home at all.

**Review! (*beautiful and undeniable- except to Emmett- Halo-pouty-face begs you to review*) Please?**


	28. Chapter 28 I've Got A Bad Feeling

**A/N: Yikes!!! Only three chapters left!!! So sad!!! So, as you all know, the story is coming to an end _soon_,which, unfortunately, I really can't prolong. There are THREE chapters after this one, then I might write an epilogue, and then that's it! We're done! I _have _started a sequel, but that won't be coming out for quite some time, seeing as I've only written four pages so far (compared to Fact/Fiction's 148...). I'm also doing another, completely unrelated fanfic that is making quicker progress. I'll post a summary of it on my profile. As soon as I finish posting all of Fact/Fiction, I'm going to take a break because I have a honors band music festival this weekend, and then I'll try to get out whatever's up next next week (epilogue or my other story). Just a heads up if you were wondering.**

**Anyway, back to the drama, suspense, and stupid decisions! Don't forget to review! Ne l'oubliez pas!**

**Chapter 28**

**I've Got A Bad Feeling About This**

After another restless night of driving, we arrived back at Dartmouth. I searched for the comfort that I expected from the familiar trees and road signs, but nothing could ease the anxiety that was roiling inside me. Jasper kept glaring at me, frustrated that his efforts to calm me were foiled by the degree of angst I was suffering. To his credit, it was the calmest state of complete and utter nervousness I had ever experienced.

I don't know how they managed it, but the three Cullens, plus Lisa, all registered as late students at Dartmouth, all of them sharing one of my classes, so I was never alone. Ever. Lisa and Alice also somehow rigged the computer records to say that my closet of a dorm room was actually a triple. And that they were sharing it with me. This notion was ridiculous, obviously, since the only roommate I had room for was Jacob. And that's because we basically slept on top of each other.

Emmett and Jasper were enrolled as foreign language students, while the girls decided to share all my music classes. I learned that Alice was actually a very capable violinist, whereas Lisa could pass as a piano major. Both Alice and Jasper (who was also trying his hand at the violin) accompanied me to Orchestra rehearsal everyday. I was constantly surrounded by the pale figures of all of them during my classes, and I had Jacob glued to my side during the rest of the day.

Jake spent most of the daytime in the woods, prowling for any scent of Sean, and he stayed with me in my dorm room at night. I missed him so much during the day that I would skip my hours previously spent in a practice room to go running in the woods, and a beautiful russet colored wolf would trot merrily at my side.

Seeing him as a wolf for the first time was nothing short of breath taking. I had read the descriptions of the wolves numerous times in the _Twilight _books, but none of them did the real-life vision any justice. The most accurate description was that he looked exactly like the big, beautiful, fluffy dog I had always wanted (my parents had denied me a dog any bigger than Hugo because they were certain it would eat us out of house and home), but there was also the eyes, and smile of the man I loved. Here was my protector, and my friend. He was my everything.

Alice gave us the daily update about where she saw Sean going. He had followed our trail up to Quebec, to the Cullen Estate, where Seth, Halo, and Rosalie's callous welcome had sent him running in the opposite direction. From the account Halo gave me over the phone, Rosalie had put Sean in a headlock, threatening to "bruise every part of _his_ body," before Sean had even said hello. He somehow wormed his way out and fled the premises at a speed even the vampires found impressive. I was shocked, and slightly pleased, that bitter and beautiful Rosalie had come to my defense so naturally, but I also breathed a sigh of relief to hear that Sean made it out alive. Rosalie didn't suffer any damage from his escape, though she was certainly still pissed off when Halo called; I could hear her operatic voice bellowing in anger in the background.

As for those of us at Dartmouth, we were doing exactly what Lisa had wanted to avoid; waiting around for Sean to come along and bite me in the neck. Emmett offered to call him, to speed things up, but my incessant pleas dissuaded him. I knew that the day Sean arrived at Dartmouth would be the last day I got to spend with Jacob, and I dreaded that day with every fiber of my being. I treasured every kiss, every embrace, every time his hand brushed the back of mine. The memories would have to last me an eternity.

It was on Friday that I walked into Orchestra rehearsal with Alice and Jasper, and she had the vision we had all been waiting for, and dreading.

"Oh!" She said in her light airy voice. "Okay! I see now. He's coming tonight."

The blood drained from my face, and my throat went dry. "Tonight?" I asked in a raspy voice, not even capable of hiding my fear.

"Yes, tonight, and stop looking so frightened, people are starting to stare. Jasper, do something, please!" I felt a soothing wave of calm seep over me.

She was right. One person was staring in particular. Lindsey. Since the night I had first fled campus, I had not said a word to her, or any of my other friends. I didn't have time, with my vampire body guards escorting me everywhere. The worried look she was giving me now told me that keeping the secret had not done her any good. She looked slightly green, seeing me with my two new, ridiculously good-looking, pale friends. I had heard that overall, her time at school had not been going well. No matter how many hours she spent in the practice rooms at night, her playing wasn't improving, and she was forced to fill the last chair in the trumpet section. Our first juries were in two weeks. This was when we were supposed to play a selection of pieces for all our teachers to prove we were at the appropriate playing level to continue in the Orchestra. Out of all the freshmen, Lindsey had the most reason to be nervous.

I immediately shamed myself for not being there to help her through the stressful time. We hadn't been the closest of friends, not yet anyway, but she was one of the few people I had really bonded with during my short time at Dartmouth, and I felt like I had let her down. I resolved to go talk to her after rehearsal.

It turned out I didn't need to. No sooner had the conductor put down his baton, than Alice rushed over to me and whispered to me, "That girl over there with the trumpet is going to come over and talk to you, should I let her?"

"Yes, of course!" I said. Perhaps my vampire friends really were taking the "bodyguard" thing a little too seriously. Alice and Jasper took their places a safe distance away and waited for me to finish talking to Lindsey who approached me cautiously.

"Hi, Tessa," she said barely above a whisper. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" She looked sad and strained, and I could see the evidence of many sleepless nights in the dark circles under her eyes.

"Yes," I said in my best attempt of a gentle, comforting voice, "Let's go outside."

We walked around the campus pathways, with Jasper and Alice inconspicuously following at a distance. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lisa meet up with them and they all casually took a seat on one of the stone walls that were decorating the campus. Lindsey and I did the same, several feet away.

"What's on your mind?" I asked, although I already had an idea.

"Oh, I don't know," Lindsey said sarcastically. "How about the disappearing act you pulled last week? And this new group of friends that materialized out of no where? And, oh yeah! The fact that you distinctly warned me not to talk to some 'pale attractive' boy, which is really descriptive, by the way, and that's the only person you hang out with now! It's a little contradictory, don't you think?"

I realized a second later that the "person" she was referring to was Jasper, who did easily qualify as pale, and _very _attractive. She must have seen him with me during rehearsals and assumed that he was the one I had mentioned. She was still talking.

"Look, I know we aren't exactly 'best friends' or anything, seeing as I've only known you for, like, a week, but you are the closest I have to a best friend here! Or, at least, you were…" She trailed off, looking at me to judge my expression.

"Lindsey! Of course we're friends!" I exclaimed, pulling her into a friendly hug. It seemed to shock her a little, but she didn't push me away, at least.

"Then why haven't you talked to me for so long?" She asked pleadingly. "If something bad is going on, you can tell me! I kept your other secret, didn't I? I'm just worried about you, you know? I don't want anything bad to happen to you, and I don't want you to go through a hard time alone."

"_I'm _going through a hard time?" I laughed, "Lindsey, how many nights have you slept in the practice room? Be honest."

She blushed, and grief spread over her face. "Yeah… I'm not doing so well either. It stinks, you know? I practice so much! And I'm _still_ not improving. I don't think I'm cut out to be a music major."

"Maybe not," I said, "but that doesn't mean that you don't have options. It's only your first year! You still have plenty of time!"

"No, but you don't understand. I'm not good at _anything_. This isn't my first year of college, it's my third! Yes, it's my first year here, but I've transferred four times because I can't ever figure out what I want to do! I always think I'm on the right track, but everything falls out from underneath me."

"Have you talked to your family about it? See what they think?" I asked.

"I'm a foster child. I don't really have a family anymore. The day I turned eighteen, I was on my own."

Wow, I hadn't known any of this about Lindsey before. She really was in a rough spot. So why was she worried about me?

"Honey," I said, "You've got all this on your plate, _and _you're worried about me? You're incredible!" I gave her another hug, it was unavoidable, and we both laughed a little.

"I can't help it," she said smiling. "I'm compassionate. I worry. It's what I do."

"It's good to have a caring friend like you," I said, commending her.

"Well, if you don't feel like sharing the complexities of your life with me, do you think we could hang out anyway? Sometime soon?"

Before I knew it, Alice was at our side. "Hi guys! Did I hear you say we should plan a time to hang out? Because I was thinking we should to movie night in Tessa's room tonight!"

She had completely thrown me off guard. "Movie night? What brought this on?" _I thought we were going to plan a stakeout for Sean tonight_…

Alice smiled. "I thought some girl-time would be nice. Plus, my Netflix just sent me _John Tucker Must Die_, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to think up some pranks to play on my brother, Emmett."

"Well, that would be hard since Emmett would know about it, wouldn't he?"

"No, Emmett's gone home for the weekend." Um, excuse me, WHAT?

"Really?" I tried to stay casual. "I thought Emmett's friend _Sean_ was visiting this weekend?" I gave Alice my most prying glance.

"Sean changed his mind, and Emmett's girlfriend really missed him, so he went home. He'll be back on Monday." So Sean changed his mind? Maybe this would work to my benefit? Maybe I could get him to unchange his mind quick enough to keep him off Alice's radar, thus making a clean getaway?

My stomach churned with pain.

Lindsey was obviously oblivious to the underlying conversation we'd been having. "Movie night sounds like fun! It'll be nice to get out of the practice rooms for once!"

"Yes, it'll be a good time," Alice agreed. "I'll even invite Jacob! Won't that be great, Tess?"

She had to mention him. Now my heart was literally ripping in two. "Yes, I'd love to spend some time with him."

"Jacob? Who's Jacob?" Lindsey asked curiously.

It was my turn to blush. "He's my… boyfriend, I guess. He works in town," I lied. "I don't get to see him as often as I'd like." That was true enough.

"Well, I can't wait to meet him!" Lindsey said enthusiastically. She was so blissfully oblivious of the turmoil that was going on around her. I was envious. I wish my life could be that simple.

Lindsey suddenly looked at her watch. "Oh shoot, I have to get to my lesson, but I'll see you tonight!" She started heading towards the school buildings waving behind her.

"Seven o'clock!" Alice called after her retreating form. Within seconds, both Jasper and Lisa were standing next to us.

"Movie night, huh?" Lisa said exasperated. "I suppose if I have to…"

"I can patrol the woods so Jacob can join you," Jasper told me. That was sweet of him. Though, I figured that his generosity probably was also influenced by his desire to not have to sit through a chick flick with four girls and a lovesick werewolf.

"It'll be fun, I promise!" Alice said, practically jumping up and down with excitement. She really did resemble a pixie when she bounced around like that…

"Hello? Earth to Tessa?" Lisa waved a hand in front of my face, recalling me out of my reverie. "What is on your mind, huh? You look totally stressed out."

"What made Sean change his mind? Where's he going now?" I asked the straight forward question, hoping to get a straight forward answer.

"I don't know why he changed his mind, but he's decided to peruse the surrounding towns before he searches the actual campus," Alice informed me. "Maybe it's because this seems like the most obvious place. He probably thinks we're still playing hide-and-seek, you know? Whatever the reason, he's not going to come here until Monday, and by that time Emmett will be back."

"Did Rosalie really miss him that much?" I asked.

"Yes," Alice answered. "But that's not why he left. Halo begged him to come home because Rose has been tormenting Seth to the extent of kicking him out of the house for extended periods of time."

"Without trial or bail," Jasper commented, stifling a smirk.

"Emmett is a little more relaxed about Halo's relationship with Seth. At the very least, he can distract Rose so that she's not on her son-in-law's heels all the time." Alice giggled at the trifles that went on under the Cullen roof.

The girls headed to my dorm room, while Jasper directed himself towards the woods, but I noticed Lisa was still keeping an eye on me, as if she suspected something. I didn't know what this could be, since I hadn't even made any plans of my own.

I slammed the door of my room open, and there was the russet wolf lying on my bed, wagging his tail with happiness.

"Hello, Jacob," I smiled and bent down to run my fingers through his silky fur. He licked my face, which made me laugh, and he smile my favorite canine smile. "There you go, lacing your arrow through my heart again," I said dreamily. I flopped onto the bed, and Jake curled up around my feet.

My room was messy as usual, but within seconds Alice had it sparkling clean, thanks to vampire speed. There were still three hours before our "movie night," so I kicked back on my bed and took a nap while Alice and Lisa argued about designer shoes.

I woke up with a start not much later when I felt two ice cold hands gripping my head.

"Tessa, please wake up. I need to talk to you."

I sat up with a jerk and the vampire who had been kneeling next to me flew backwards to the other side of the room, not that it was a very far distance.

"Lisa!" I yelled. "Don't scare me like that! I'm gonna have the shivers for months!"

"Unlikely. Now, please tell me very honestly, are you harboring any secret desires to overthrow our carefully laid plans to stop Sean McNally?"

"Where's Jacob? And Alice?" I asked groggily.

"Alice went to the campus store to buy snacks, and I sent Jacob on an errand because I needed to talk to you. Now answer the question."

"If your question was 'Do I plan on saving Sean McNally's life,' then yes, I do."

"Tessa-" She started what I was sure was going to be a ferocious rendition of ripping me a new one, but I cut her off.

"No! Lisa, listen! How can you be like this? How can you _not_ even consider what I'm going to do? He's your brother! You went entirely out of your way to make sure he wouldn't make the mistake of changing me so that he wouldn't be stuck with that regret for the rest of his life, and now you've done a one-eighty! You're ready to _kill_ him! You're ready to throw his life away as punishment for the small infraction that he _loved_ me-"

Lisa was shaking, but it didn't remind me of the heated fury Jacob sometimes got himself into. It was distinctly icy, like a spiral of snow that blows up off the ground during a snowstorm. Her golden eyes were sharp as knives.

"You listen to me, Tessa Calder. I did everything I could. I turned my back on my entire family, to try and save your life! _That_ was the one-eighty, 'cause you know what? I don't care about humans! It's because of people like you that I lost the one person in the world that meant the most to me! I'm _never _going to get him back! I had every right to kill you the moment that you found out what we were! I should have killed you!"

"So why didn't you?" I cried, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Because it's not what Joseph would have wanted!" She screamed the words and I felt the pain rip the air in the room in two halves. She was caving in on herself, falling back on the wall for support. In all the time I had spent with vampires, all the books I had read, I had never witnessed something for painful for them that their supernatural balanced failed them. I did what felt natural. I took my friend in my arms and held her until the shaking stopped.

"So what do we do now?" I whispered.

'I don't know," Lisa said through trembling lips. "I keep looking, trying to see something that could solve this, but I don't see anything! I don't see anyway for anyone to be happy! It's like there's an opportunity, but you'd have to walk through fire to reach it! Or it's something that no one could conceivably ever think would turn out alright. I don't know, Tess. I can't see anything, and… it scares me."

I deliberated, then made my decision. "Well, you may not know what's going to happen, but that doesn't mean I can't take a chance." I stood up, pulled on my running shoes, and headed for the door. I heard her call my name, but she didn't stop me.

Neither did Jacob when I passed him on my way out. Jacob- Oh Jacob, how could I say goodbye to him?

"Whoa! Tess, where're you going?" He asked, as I nearly collided with him on my way out.

"Running. I think I'll do a lap 'round the school before we start the movie."

"Okay, do you want me to come with you?" Want? Yes. Need? Probably. Is it possible? Absolutely not.

"No, I think I just want some alone time." He looked sad when I said this, and it broke my heart all over again. "I'll be back soon, though. Fifteen minutes, tops."

"Alright…" He said, giving me a strange look. Then he pulled me into him and kissed me passionately, like I never would have expected in a mere passing through the halls. It warmed me all the way to the tips of my toes until I couldn't feel the floor anymore. "Come back really soon." He smiled at me, and I watched him walk away.

A tear slid down my cheek as I started running, and I pulled my cell-phone out of my coat pocket, dialing the number I knew so well.

He picked up on the first ring. "Sean? It's Tessa."

**Yeah, that's right, I did it again... CLIFF HANGER!!!! Stay tuned tomorrow for what happens! Who will Tessa choose? Will blood be spilt? Will a _new _vampire be born into this world? You'll have to read to find out! Mwahahahaha!**


	29. Chapter 29 Ten Minutes

**A/N: Haha! The chapter you've all been waiting for! This is it, my friends, the climax, the big hurrah! Okay, it's actually kind of short, but my hopes are you'll forgive me for that cause it's so good, right? ...right? Anyway, I really hope you like it. I've been sick for the past couple days, so I started writing a oneshot about Bella getting a cold and the Cullens completely overreacting. It's really just me trying to be silly and pass the time, but if I finish it I might as well publish it and see what comes of it. So keep your eyes open for THAT. Enough of my jabbering, check out this next chapter! Allons y! Oh, and review too!**

_A tear slid down my cheek as I started running, and I pulled my cell-phone out of my coat pocket, dialing the number I knew so well._

_He picked up on the first ring. "Sean? It's Tessa."_

**Chapter 29**

**Ten Minutes**

I had done the right thing. I hoped I had. What else could I have done? I had always believed in making a choice, rather than waiting for choices to be made for me. Now, here I was, choice made. It was the only way I could save his life, and I knew I wouldn't be able to live with his death on my shoulders. This was my only choice.

I kept telling myself this as I paced the edge of the woods, waiting for him to show. He had been in the town, just off campus. Logistically speaking, he could be here in less that ten minutes, if he didn't worry about drawing attention to himself. I knew they were going to be the longest ten minutes of my life, the last ten minutes I would be free, the last ten minutes I could breathe the fresh air, feel the warmth from the setting sun, feel the pinch of my sneakers when I was running.

Yes, I had made my decision, but that didn't change the heart breaking sadness that filled my entire being.

In that ten minute period I must have played the short, pivotal phone conversation in my head fifty times.

"Sean? It's Tessa." My voice was shaking, but the hand that held my cell-phone was steady, and that was all that mattered.

"Tessa? Tessa!" Sean screamed into the phone. "I'm so glad you called! Please tell me what is going on, please tell me that I imagined the past week and that you still love me. Please-" He was already begging, and I had barely spoken a full sentence.

"Yes, Sean, I changed my mind. I want to be with you."

"Thank God!" He hollered into the phone. "I knew it! I knew no crazy vampire sister of mine could make you change your mind-"

"Sean, you need to come get me now. _Right_ now. I can't explain, but we don't have much time. Alice Cullen is here, and she'll know soon-"

"I'm coming," he said firmly. "Where are you? I'll be there in ten minutes."

"I'm at the college, but Sean- there's something more." It killed me to say what I said next. "The only way for us to be together is if you change me. Tonight."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." The line went dead.

Now that I was stuck waiting, my senses were ultra aware. I felt every direction the wind took as it blew past me. My heart beat was so loud, I swore I could hear it echoing of the trees in the woods that surrounded me. How many heartbeats did I have left? My breathing increased.

A crunching leaf behind me made me whip around. My eyes were prepared to see almost anyone. Sean, finding me at last, or Jasper, hearing my thundering heartbeats; Lisa, hot on my trail, or Jacob sensing that something was wrong and rushing to my side. What I was not prepared for was Lindsey, standing there looking like a ravishing image of life, with blood and air pulsing through her.

For the first time, I was really scared.

"Lindsey! What are you doing here?" I couldn't hide my fear. All I could think was that I had a hungry, stressed vampire heading towards me at hat very moment, and here was a beautiful, young, vibrant girl, who would probably smell delicious…

She was surprised to see me so out of sorts. "I was walking back to the dorm and I saw you out here, I thought I'd see if you'd like a jogging buddy…" She trailed off in confusion as my face blanched and I nearly screamed.

"No! Lindsey, you have to get out of here, now! I can't explain, but you have to get back to the dorms where you'll be safe-" The sounds of the distant road made me reconsider sending her to the dorms and I pulled her by the wrist into the woods instead, behind a large tree, pushing her onto the ground so that she was somewhat sheltered.

"What are you doing?" She cried out, trying to stand back up under my forceful hands. "What are you talking about, Tess? You're not making sense-"

"Not now, you have to stay still-" A whistling wind caught my attention. For that second I had the ears of a vampire and a wolf combined. I heard a solid body moving towards us. I raced out of the woods to see the ghostly vision of Sean McNally, and my life was over.

No, _Lindsey's _life was over.

"Tessa," Sean sighed, wrapping his arms around me. "I've missed you so much. How could you break my heart like that?" There was that familiar pained look in his now black eyes. "It's no matter, we're safe now. We can be together, just like we always wanted."

He was such a liar. I _never_ wanted this. Not for one second. But desire wasn't what guided my actions now. I _needed_ to save his life, and that's all that mattered.

"Let's go," I said hurriedly. "We don't have a lot of time."

Sean laughed. He actually _laughed_. "Tessa, we have all the time in the world! You're with me now, nothing bad is going to happen!" Yeah, like I haven't heard that before.

"You don't understand, Sean. If they find you, they're going to KILL you!"

"Like they could! Darling, I've been around for a while, I know how to take care of myself."

"Stop being so damn cocky!" I barked at him, hysteria ringing in my voice. "Any second now, Alice will realize what has happened, and she and Jacob and Lisa will come rushing out here, ready to do whatever it takes to stop you! I risked everything to save your life and you're _laughing!_"

"The only life that's in danger right now is yours, and I'm going to put and end to that danger soon enough-"

I slapped him. My hand was freezing from the pain, but it was necessary. "Do you understand what I'm giving up to save your life right now? I left the one man I will ever truly love to be with you! Because the only options were that I choose a life with you, or your death! Everyone agreed that was the only way! Even your sister! I have never seen pain like I saw in her today when she told me that even she couldn't save you! Now, I have always believed that every life is worth something, even someone like you who repulses me to the very core, so I gave up every piece of happiness I had to come here tonight, to _save your life_. Please, don't make me regret this more than I already do, which is exponentially higher than any regret you have ever known!"

He stared at me with his blank, black eyes. "Are you saying you don't love me?"

"No! I don't love you!" I cried, spitting my words at him with every stretch of human venom I could muster.

Anger started to pulse through him, and I took a safe step back. "You don't love me!" He repeated, this time like an accusation. "After everything we've been through, you don't love me!" He threw the words at me like daggers, hoping they would stab me in the heart like I had done him, but my own anger was so much that nothing could hurt me now.

"I told you, Sean. I told you from the start."

He laughed, but this time with disgust. "I don't understand why you didn't let them kill me. I repulse you! Certainly, since that's the case, my life can't be worth that much!"

"Stop it! You know that's not true! You're right for someone! I just know that's it's not me!"

"Who then?" He screamed, waving his hands to the sky. "Who?" He fell to his knees, like a man begging with God.

My tears continued pouring down my cheeks, but I walked over to him and helped him up. He stared at me with the pained eyes of a burning man.

"Look, I already made my choice," I said calmly, trying not to see the image of Jacob that was fighting the my words in my mind. "I'm going to spend the rest of eternity with you, and you can deal with that, or you can leave."

He held his breathe, staring at me with his black eyes, and whispered, "I'm going to stay with you."

That was the plan. But if you look anywhere in history, in the myths and folk tales, you will find that even the best laid plans come to naught in the end. Achilles had that heel of his, and goodness knows that ruined just about everything. In _Beauty and the Beast_, it was when Belle saw her dying father in the magic mirror. We all have our moments when we know for sure, no matter how hard we tried, it was all for nothing. For me, it was that moment when Lindsey came charging out of the woods, and came into Sean's line of vision, his black eyes pulsing with hunger. In that moment, even I could sense how delicious her blood smelled.

The world seemed to freeze, just like in stories. I was just suddenly aware of several things at once. The first was that Sean was staring at Lindsey with a look I couldn't identify. It was a sort of lost gaze, like he had been looking for something, and here it was! It reminded me of one thing only, and that was the first time I saw Jacob's eyes, poring into mine.

The second thing I was aware of was that Sean had split away from me and was running at Lindsey at vampire speed, teeth bared instinctively, the hunger consuming his control.

Lastly, Jacob, Alice, and Lisa were all running towards us, Jacob screaming my name.

I saw Sean reach Lindsey, whose eyes didn't hold the appropriate fear- they didn't have time for that reaction.

I saw his pale, claw-like hand wrap around hers, immobilizing her.

I saw the shining white teeth bend over her crystal neck in a perfect arc, crushing down on her soft skin, red blood dripping down the collar of her pink sweatshirt.

I closed my eyes. I screamed. I fell to my knees. Jacob caught me in his limber arms.

And… Nothing, I heard nothing except a soft whimpering. It was Sean's voice, no longer hard like ice, or painful like knives. It sounded like the saddest remorse I had ever heard, softly whimpering, "No… no… oh, no… What have I done?"

**Okay, this may be me in my author's world ivory tower, but how can you _not _review after an edinging like that? Come on, really? Review it!**


	30. Chapter 30 Into the Dark

**A/N: This is the second to last chapter!!!! Noooo!!!!! Trust me, no one is more upset than I am that this is coming to end (yes, I've heard tat saying that all good things come to an end, and no, it doesn't make me feel any better! Hmph!). This chapter isn't very long, but the next one is, and after that I may be persuaded to write an epilogue, and then I'm going full force into my next story (see summary on profile). If you're hungry for some more reading, last night I posted a oneshot about Bella getting a cold (since I've been home for four days with one), and it's pretty funny, so check it! I love you guys, so keeping reading and reviewing! We're almost done! Oh! And check out the playlist for this chapter, it's kindof obvious if you know the songs but... they're good songs! So there!**

**:)**

_The world seemed to freeze, just like in stories. I was just suddenly aware of several things at once. The first was that Sean was staring at Lindsey with a look I couldn't identify. It was a sort of lost gaze, like he had been looking for something, and here it was! It reminded me of one thing only, and that was the first time I saw Jacob's eyes, poring into mine._

_The second thing I was aware of was that Sean had split away from me and was running at Lindsey at vampire speed, teeth bared instinctively, the hunger consuming his control._

_Lastly, Jacob, Alice, and Lisa were all running towards us, Jacob screaming my name._

_I saw Sean reach Lindsey, whose eyes didn't hold the appropriate fear- they didn't have time for that reaction. _

_I saw his pale, claw-like hand wrap around hers, immobilizing her._

_I saw the shining white teeth bend over her crystal neck in a perfect arc, crushing down on her soft skin, red blood dripping down the collar of her pink sweatshirt._

_I closed my eyes. I screamed. I fell to my knees. Jacob caught me in his limber arms._

_And… Nothing, I heard nothing except a soft whimpering. It was Sean's voice, no longer hard like ice, or painful like knives. It sounded like the saddest remorse I had ever heard, softly whimpering, "No… no… oh, no… What have I done?"_

**Chapter 30**

**Into the Dark**

Lisa had been right. The path towards happiness, though none of us had seen it coming, went right through fire. And poor Lindsey, the unsuspecting heroine, got the worst of it. She spent three days in fire, screaming and crying, with one pair of ice cold hands wrapped around her burning fingers the whole time.

Sean never left her side. He didn't blink once for the entire three days, afraid he would lose one second with the girl in his hands. He had bitten her, yes, and had been on the verge of taking away her life entirely, but for just long enough, his heart had broken through his instincts and broke the spell her blood had over him. Long enough for Lisa and Alice to pounce on him and hold him down. By that time, Sean had realized what had happened.

He had nearly killed an innocent girl, but he had also fallen madly in love with her. From the first moment he saw her, he was attached. She had bitten him just as powerfully as he had bitten her, and now both of them were walking through fire to reach the eternal paradise where they could be together. She, literally, and he vicariously. The vampire venom was searing through her veins, changing her molecular structure, and Sean was watching every second of it.

Shortly after the disaster at the edge of the woods, Edward and Bella arrived practically breathless at the scene. Alice had frantically called them on her way there, and within seconds there were in the road in Edward's car which could reach speeds that the United States Air Force called fast. They helped us get Lindsey's pale and trembling body into the spacious backseat and we were back on the road headed straight for the Cullen estate. I stayed with Lindsey the entire time, though I knew it was dangerous, being human and all, and also painful to watch. She shook violently, and screamed at pitches only dogs could hear.

We arrived at the Cullen Estate in six hours, a record time. We were able to explain the situation before Rosalie brutally attacked Sean. Doctor Cullen set up a comfortable room to keep Lindsey during her painful transformation. And still, Sean never left her side.

I understood how he felt. From the second that Jacob caught me falling to the ground while I witnessed the worst horror I would ever see in my life, I didn't let him leave me, not once. He joined me during my hours watching over Lindsey, and he held me when I drifted to sleep at night. I vowed sincerely to never even consider leaving him again. Ever. Not even gravity would pull me away from him anymore. He was my sun, and I was his planet. I wasn't going anywhere.

Of course, he thought I had the analogy backwards, but I loved him too much to fight about it. Let him think what he wants to.

We waited three days and three nights watching the miraculous transformation in front of our eyes. Her plain, simple features that I knew and recognized bloomed into the most astonishingly beautiful girl I would have ever seen, had I not been familiar with Lisa, Scarlett, Alice, Bella, and Rosalie. Her pain raged, until her heartbeat was louder than her screams. We all held our breath, and then… the wait was over. The screaming died down, until all that was left was her heavy breathing.

Suddenly, eyes as red as roses flew open, staring at the collective around her. She didn't say anything, she just looked around the room, processing the air and the people. She saw me, with Jacob holding a protective arm around me, shadowed by Carlisle, who was standing next to Edward. Then she saw Alice, Lisa, Jasper, and Bella, and finally… Her blood red eyes fell on Sean.

"You," she said in a voice that I had never heard before. A sweet, melodic voice that rang like church bells. "You are my angel, aren't you?"

Sean smiled involuntarily. "I'm no angel, but I have been watching over you, waiting for this moment. Do you recognize me?"

She shook her head. "Only as the angel that held my hand while I walked through the fire. But you say you aren't my guardian angel, so… no, I don't know who you are."

"My name is Sean, Sean McNally."

"I'm Lindsey," she said.

I wanted to say something, but Jacob was too worried that Lindsey would pounce on me, considering my flavorless blood was most likely the most appetizing thing in the room to a newborn vampire, suffering from obscene thirst. I persisted anyway.

"Do you recognize me? I asked gently.

Lindsey flipped her head around to face me in a split second, a blurry image from the speed. Her red eyes appraised me, a confused look drifting across her beautiful face. "No… I don't. Should I?"

I sighed. "We were friends, before… before you changed."

"I don't understand," she said. "Where am I? What has happened to me? Who are all of you?"

"There is a lot of explaining we will have to do," Carlisle said in his calmest voice. "But first, could you tell us what the last thing you remember is?"

She thought for a long moment, then said. "A pair of beautiful black eyes. My memory seems cloudy now, but… I remember these eyes, like they were the first thing I ever saw. They were… Yours!" She exclaimed in surprise as she turned to Sean once again and out of her faded memory made the connection. "They were your eyes!"

In that moment, Sean looked like the happiest man on the planet. Correction, he _was_ the happiest man on the planet. He didn't wait a second before he took Lindsey's face in his two hands and kissed her. She didn't try to stop him. When they broke apart, she had the most brilliant smile on her face.

"Today is the first day of my life, isn't it?" She asked.

"Of this life," Sean answered.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't die before I met you." And her red eyes sparkled with eternal bliss.

*******

While Carlisle, Edward, and Sean explained to Lindsey all the amazing events that had taken place, Jacob and I excused ourselves to go for a walk. We held hands, and didn't say much, but there was something bothering him that I could feel between us. It sat there like a cloud hanging over our heads. Finally, he spoke.

"Tessa, there is something I have to ask you, and I would like you to be honest with me." He looked at me with his beautiful eyes full of some emotion I couldn't name at the moment, and I nodded. "Back there, back at the school, when you left… were you really in love with Sean?"

I stopped dead in my tracks with my mouth hanging wide open. I had expected almost any question but that. I thought the answer was just so obvious.

"No! Of course not! Absolutely, positively, _never!_" I spat the words out with such vigor that Jacob actually jumped. "How could you possibly think such a thing?"

He frowned at me. "What do you mean, how could I? You ran off! To him! To be with him! What am I supposed to think?"

"That I was doing what I had to do to keep him alive!" I laughed incredulously.

Jacob blinked. "Really? That was why?"

"Of course!" I shrieked. "I would never leave you unless it was a life or death situation, which obviously it was!" Jacob still looked confused. "Look, you were going to kill him because of me, and I know you don't put much credit to his life, but I wasn't going to let anyone value my life over someone else's. He's a person, Jacob, with his own hopes and dreams, and I didn't want you to have murder on your hands."

Jacob looked uncomfortable. "I don't really consider getting rid of vampires murder-"

"Well I do!" I snapped. I took a deep breath and took his hands in mine. "And as long as I'm around, I want you to do the same. A life is a life, worth every breath we take."

"You're not the first person who's told me that," he said sheepishly. He ran his hand nervously through his silky hair and spoke again. "Please, just try to understand this. I thought I was going to lose you. Truly and seriously, forever. And that scared the shit out of me." He retained his serious gaze on my intent face. "My life is _nothing_ without you, Tessa. You are the reason I am here, the reason I waited so long. If I lose you, I have nothing left to live for."

My heart ached at the thought of Jacob dying. If he ceased to exist, I wouldn't want to live another second, to take another breath of fresh air. I always wanted to be where he was. I would follow him into the dark.

I leaped up and threw my arms around him. He complied by holding me up close to him, and kissed me until I was warm down to my damp socks.

I breathed in his wonderfully sensuous scent. "I am forever, truly, uncompromisingly yours. As you are mine."

"As I am yours," he whispered, pulling me into another mind blowing kiss that I never wanted to end. And until the sun set, we pretended that it didn't.

**Review if you want to find out how it all ends... hehehehe.... Would I really be that evil? I don't know, but I wouldn't take the chance, would you? Mwahahahaha....**


	31. Chapter 31 Making Ends Meet

**A/N: Wow, this is it guys! The last chapter! I won't say too much 'cause I'm a little emotional and all... *sniff sniff, wipe away tear* It's been so great having all of you reading and reviewing, and I can't thank you enough for sticking through 'till the very end! It's been a great ride! I did say I'd consider doing an epilogue, but only if you think it needs more closure. Let me know! If enough people ask for one, I'll probably write it and post it next week. **

**Thanks again, I love you guys!**

**Chapter 31**

**Making Ends Meet**

In fairytale land, this was the part where we were all supposed to get our happily-ever-afters. In the real world, I had to go through the tricky business of explaining to Dartmouth that my good friend Lindsey had suffered some form of mental breakdown, had fled campus by foot, and was taken to a hospital where they take care of "nice people" like her. It helped that Carlisle was a doctor and was able to forge some convincing paperwork. I also had to deal with the fact that I had missed a few crucial rehearsals and was failing some of my classes from missing so many whilst I was at the Cullen Estate. Oops. I was pretty sure my parents weren't going to be too happy about that one.

Not to mention, in the real world you get to deal with awkward situations like trying to say goodbye to the vampire who threatened your life and freewill in the name of love, and leave on good terms. Yeah, that was weird.

Jacob and I eventually made our way back to the house at twilight, just as Sean and Lindsey were coming back from their first hunting trip. I tried to ignore the blood stains that were on Lindsey's jacket. _At least it's not yours_, I kept telling myself. Convincing words.

Sean and Lindsey looked completely perfect together. They fit, like the two halves of a heart-shaped locket. It helped that they were both supernaturally beautiful, but there was also a loving glow about them that added to the ambiance.

"Hi," I said, trying to be cordial. "Erm, good hunting trip? Find any good… mountain lions?"

"We got a bear or two," Lindsey said casually, like it was nothing at all. She fit into this life so well.

"Did you have a nice walk?" Sean said stiffly.

"It was pleasant," Jacob answered with the same amount of tension in his voice. We were all silent for quite some time, looking around for something to say.

"Okay then…" Lindsey said, feeling the awkwardness of the situation. "I'm gonna go inside now…" She gave Sean a meaningful glance and stepped indoors.

Sean looked like he expected Jacob to do the same, but Jake stood firmly behind me. Sean waited nervously, then decided to say what he had to say anyway.

"Tessa, I just wanted to say… I'm sorry. For everything. I was… a jerk. A _complete _jerk. Actually, you know what? There aren't even words that can describe how awful I was, I just… I'm so ashamed of everything that happened, I wish I could say that I wished none of it did."

His last statement confused me. "You _wish _you could say that you _wished _none of it ever happened? You're saying you _wouldn't_ take it back?"

"No," he said, surprised, like thought that his reasoning was obvious. "Then I never would have met Lindsey! And transversely, you never would have met Jacob." He did say Jacob's name with a mild tone of disgust, but I let it slide.

"Then… I guess I'd have to say the same."

Sean smiled and held out his hand to me. "No regrets? Friends?"

"Friends," I agreed, and firmly shook his cold hand.

"Great," he said, pulling his hand back rather quickly and bolting inside. I took my shivering hand and thrust it against Jacob's warm palm. Ahhh, so much better. Ice was nice, but I would always favor the flavor of fire.

"No regrets," Jacob said cheerfully, tossing his arm over my shoulders as we headed inside. "Then what was that look I saw you giving him and Lindsey when we walked up to the house?" His tone was skeptical.

I grinned. "That was me appreciating the beauty of what must be one of the most perfect matches ever made."

"I beg to differ," Jacob teased. "Lindsey has nothing on you when it comes to beauty."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," I said playfully.

"Okay," he said, "But if you're going to go off and 'behold' beauty for the other team, I'd like a little warning." He smiled devilishly.

"Jacob Black!" I laughed, aghast. "What are you insinuating?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He laughed as he ran away, me hot on his heels.

*******

We spent two more days in the hospitality of the Cullens, but most of us were ready to hit the road. Jacob and I were going back to Dartmouth to finish up what was left of my first pitiful term, and Sean and Lindsey were going off to find a home of their own in Boston, Sean's hometown. Lisa made the decision to stay with the Cullens, which Alice was very excited about. The rest of us were a little incredulous.

"_What?_ You're staying?" Emmett asked, his tone almost fearful. In the past two days he had learned that despite her pixie appearances, Lisa was not a force to be reckoned with. She had beaten him several times in mock wrestling matches, her foresight being a significant aid, and she had even pulled one of the best pranks in the history of the house that left Emmett looking very, very silly.

"Well, Emmett," Lisa said with false sweetness, "I understand that you may feel a little… _threatened_ by my staying, but are you really surprised? Where else do I have to go? My _family_ has fled without notice or care. I don't have another home to go to! Would you really hate having me as a sister?" She flashed him a teasing smile that unnerved him enough to make him rush out of the room very suddenly. The rest of us were in giggles. Alice in particular was thrilled that Lisa would be her new sister.

As Alice was occupying herself with bouncing around in excitement, I whispered to Lisa, "Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, it's a very different life from what you had. They're really… happy. And all paired up. Call me crazy, but that just doesn't strike me as territory you want to be a part of."

"You'd be surprised," Lisa said sweetly. "Alice and I, past all the trivial arguing and craziness, are very close. We have an understanding that I don't get with most people. And Jasper is very kind when it comes to making me feel better when I'm down. He _literally _makes me feel better! It's a pretty good place to be, for someone like me. I don't have to be around humans too much, and there isn't a lot here to bug me. I just want to find some peace, you know? These people, they've seen almost everything. They're already living the peaceful life. I think I'll be happy here."

"You'd be the one to know," I laughed.

"That's right!" she agreed.

It was hard to say goodbye to all my friends, after everything we'd been through, but I knew it wasn't really goodbye. I had a feeling I would get a lot of unexpected visitors throughout my time at college. And after that, who knew? Maybe Jake and I would get a small house in Quebec, or near Boston? I had a future, and even though it was still blurry, I wasn't afraid of it. That's how real life is supposed to be. A surprise. Yes, as Jake pulled us out of the driveway in his Volkswagen Rabbit, I was pretty happy that I had a life ahead of me.

I looked behind us to wave to our friends, just as the sun burst through the rainy clouds in three separate rays, lighting up their sparkling faces.

**One Month Later**

"Jake! Hurry up! I only have a half hour before my class starts!"

"I'm coming, Tess, don't be so pushy!"

"Well, I shouldn't have to tell a werewolf to hurry up, now, should I? What could possibly be taking you so long?"

"Do I have to remind you again how small your dorm room is? I really have a hard time moving in here. Can you get a double next semester, and we'll scare your roommate out so we have more room? I can't help but trip over my own feet in this tiny room."

"In that case, I'd think you'd be eager to get outside and into the open air! Can't you hear the morning breeze, _calling_ our names! You hear it? It's saying _Jake_, _Tessa, Come outside, come on, NOW!_"

I giggled as Jake came racing out into the hallway tackling me, hugging me around the waist, pulling me down the stairs and outside.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining for once, and the fall air still retained some of its summer warmth. Jake and I picked up our pace and began jogging on our now well-worn path. He stayed human during our jogs now, since I wanted his conversation as much as companionship. Not only that, but I technically wasn't allowed to have a dog living in my dorm room… and what the administration didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

We worked our way into the woods, laughing as always, when suddenly a cool breeze chilled the back of my bare calves, and Jacob stopped in the middle of the trail, gagging on the breath of air he had just sucked in.

"Phew! Do you _smell_ that? That has got to be the worst smelling thing on the planet!"

"Thanks, dog breath. You don't smell so hot yourself." The silvery voice startled me and I spun around to see where it had come from.

"Lisa!" I exclaimed, jumping for joy to see her. Lisa, Alice, and Jasper were all standing in the middle of the trail just behind us, safe in shadow, looking as brilliantly beautiful as the last time I saw them. "Man, you guys are a sight for sore eyes."

"Oh yeah, they're an eyesore all right," Jake teased, but he gave Alice a hug anyway, and threw Jasper a manly pat on the back.

"We were just passing through," Alice said in her tinker-bell voice. "We thought we'd say hi!"

"I'm so glad you did!" I said happily, my eyes alight with joy.

"You really miss us that much?" Lisa said sarcastically. "Wow, get a life girl."

"Hey! I'm doing my best! I'll have you know I'm basically failing three classes because of the disappearing acts you made me pull last month. My parents are furious."

"They'll forgive you," Alice said confidently. She would know.

"How are your parents?" Lisa asked with an interest I had never seen in her before.

"They're good. I talked to my mom last night, trying to convince her not to go visit the McNally's and congratulate them on Sean's early acceptance to Harvard."

"That would be good, considering they moved three weeks ago," Jasper laughed. "Some friends of mine saw Alison's clan passing through St. Louis last week, and Sean and Lindsey are already settled in Boston."

"Have you talked to them lately?" I asked.

"We're actually on our way there now!" Alice said excitedly. "It's a surprise, they have no idea!"

"Oh, then I won't tell them," I agreed, smiling. "Especially since I feel like you're about to tell me they'll call this weekend."

Alice frowned. "How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," I laughed. "We won't be here this weekend anyway. Jake and I are going back to Hardgrave for a visit."

"That's right, it's your birthday, isn't it?" Lisa asked.

I groaned, but Jake laughed over me. "Yes! We're throwing a great big party, one she'll never forget!"

Alice pouted, clearly upset that she wasn't invited. "He's lying, Alice, there's no big party. Who throws a party for their nineteenth birthday anyway? No, that's not why we're visiting. I just want to see my parents, talk to them, have them get to know Jake. He is a pretty big part of my life, so… they should get used to the idea, I guess."

Alice still looked miffed. "What's wrong with a party?"

"Nothing," I sighed, shaking my head. "Absolutely nothing."

"Well," Lisa said, cutting off the pout session, "believe it or not, I actually did remember it's your birthday, and I brought you a present."

"You mean this isn't my present?" I said looking around. "I thought the visit was the surprise!"

"No, we really were just passing through," Jasper said. "But my family got something together we thought you would enjoy." Each of them presented me with one of the three finely wrapped packages that Alice had hiding in her purse. I quickly tore the paper and looked to see what was inside.

"The _Twilight _books! All four of them!" I squealed with delight, laughing out loud.

"A very special edition," Alice said smoothly. "With commentaries by Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Bella, Alice, and Emmett Cullen, as well as Jasper, Rosalie, and Halo Hale."

Jacob coughed behind me, and suddenly revealed the a fourth package. It was the last book of the series. "As well as special notes from Seth Clearwater and Jacob Black."

"You planned all of this!" I laughed, poking him in the stomach as he gave me the last gift. I smiled in complete joy. "Wow, this is wonderful. Thank you so much, guys! You'll thank the rest of the family for me, won't you?"

"Of course we will," Alice said sweetly, still smiling at my happiness.

"Wow, I have to get these back to my room! Wait, what time is it?" I asked, reaching for a watch that I didn't own. Alice checked the clock on her cell-phone. "It's five minutes before nine."

I screamed and almost dropped my books. "No! I'm gonna be late! _Again!_" And I ran off as fast as I could, laden with books, calling behind me, "Thank you! I love you guys! I'll talk to you soon! Thank you!"

I couldn't see them, but I had the distinct feeling that they were laughing at me as I raced my human butt over to my dorm room. Hey, not everyone can live in the world of the supernatural.


	32. Author's Note and Official Playlist

**A/N: Hello everyone! Long time no see! (heh heh... umm, yeah...). So anyway, I have good news! And that news is that I have officially started the sequel to This Is Fact, Not Ficiton! (Yay....). I have high hopes for this next story, and I really think you guys will like it too. I'm posting the first chapter at the end of this story so you guys can get a sneak peek, but it's all that I've written so far, so you'll have to be _really _patient (sorry!). I think the first chapter is fabulous though, so I hope you guys like it. I'm also posting my official playlist for Fact/Fiction so I can take it off my profile and not feel like it's a total waste. Alright, that's all for now, happy reading and listening (check out the songs on this playlist, legit! Some of these songs are brilliant!)**

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This Is Fact, Not Fiction Playlist

_Lack of Color- _Death Cab For Cutie

Preface. _I Light My Own Fires Now_- Dashboard Confessional

1. _Losing a Whole Year_- Third Eye Blind

2a. _These Bones- _Dashboard Confessional

2b. _I Was Meant For the Stage_- The Decemberists

3. _The Gymnast, High Above the Ground_ - The Decemberists

4. _The Good Fight_ - Dashboard Confessional

5. _Ordinary Day_ - Dolores O' Riordan

6a. _Together_- Avril Lavigne

6b. _Decode_- Paramore

7a. _Hero/Heroine_- Boys Like Girls

7b. _The Reason_- Houbastank

8a. _Railway_- Dispatch

8b. _Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop- _Landon Pigg (--Thanks JoanneD!!)

9. _She's Electric_- Oasis

10a. _Figure.09_- Linkin Park

10b. _Colorbind_- Counting Crows

11a. _Numb_- Linkin Park

11b._ Today_- Roark

11c. _Clumsy_- Our Lady Peace

12. _Riot Girl_- Good Charlotte (Extra Chapter)

13. _She Changes Your Mind_- Copeland

14. _Pretty People Never Lie, Vampires Really Never Die_- I am Ghost (I know!! I don't think I could have found a more perfect song, do you?)

15. _Breaking the Habit_- Linkin Park

16a. _Built This Way_- Samantha Ronson

16b. _My Immortal_- Evanessence

17a. _In My Place_- Coldplay

17b. _Acoustic #3_- Goo Goo Dolls

17c. _Existentialism On Prom Night- _Straylight Run

18a. _Somewhere I Belong_- Linkin Park

18b. _Slow Decay_- Dashboard Confessional

19. _So Long, So Long_- Dashboard Confessional

20a. _Sunset Soon Forgotten_- Iron and Wine

20b. _Valley Winter Song_- Fountains of Wayne

21a. _Bruised_- Jack's Manequin

21b. _Black Balloon_- Goo Goo Dolls

21c. _All Around Me_- Flyleaf

21d. _Broken_- Lifehouse

22a. _You Found Me_- Kelly Clarkson

22b. _Blower's Daughter_- Damien Rice

22c. _Rush_- Dashboard Confessional

23. _Magnolia_- The Hush Sound

24a. _Razor_- Foo Fighters

24b. _You Remind Me of Home_- Benjamin Gibbard

25. _Here With Me_- Dido

26. _Magic Pie_- Oasis

27. _Hide and Seek_- Imogen Heap

28a. _A Decade Under the Influence_- Taking Back Sunday

28b. _Only One-_ Yellowcard

29. _I Caught Myself_- Paramore

30a. _First Day of My Life_- Bright Eyes

30b. _I Will Follow You Into The Dark_- Death Cab For Cutie

31. _Six Feet Under the Stars_- All Time Low


	33. Sneak Peek of the Sequel!

**A/N: Here it is, the much anticipted sneak peek of the sequel to Fact/Ficiton! Some important things to know: It's in Carly's POV, and this is where her adventure begins. It starts exactly where Fact/Fiction ended. I guess that'sall you need to know for now, but I have yet to write most of this story (I have an outline- that's it!), so if you have any ideas, advice, or just good lines you want to toss out there, be sure to let me know! I'm really excited about this story, and I hope you are too! **

**Oh, and just one more THANKS to EVERYONE who's read my story. If you made it this far, you are one of the most amazing people on the planet and I can't thank you enough! I love you guys! Peace out!**

**_Sneak Peek of the Sequel to This Is Fact, Not Fiction_**

Talk about paranoid. Those freaks who sit in their houses all day, mumbling about the creepy people who are out to get them? Yeah, they know nothing. I'm one of the fortunate few who have actually been introduced to the world where you always have to watch your back.

Yeah, I'm talking about the friggin' vampires. Of all the mythological creatures, _they _had to be real. And my best friend had to date one of them, thus dragging me into the cheesy horror flick that I now call my life. Great, just great.

Yeah, I suppose you could say I brought it on myself. I _did_ sort of convince her to date him in the first place… but in my defense, how was I to know that he was actually one of the elite, immortal, bloodsucking undead? He just looked like a normal guy to me. Okay that's a lie, there was _nothing_ normal about Sean McNally; everything about him screamed FABULOUS!

God damn my freaking hormones. It was totally my fault that Tessa got involved with him. I forced my own best friend to date a deadly, obsessive, teenage vampire, and only barely got her out of the fix with the help of _more_ vampires. VAMPIRES! Why did my life have to crash into some sick fantasy that involved VAMPIRES?

But all that was behind us now. Tessa met Jacob Black, amazing Quileute Indian chief / gorgeous werewolf, and somehow magically fell in love with him (something I still don't quite understand), forcing her to break up with the vampire, who, after a crazy hunt down of my best friend and an extended cat-and-mouse chase, actually found his _own_ soul mate, and my best friend finally got her "happily ever after," if you believe those things exist, which I suppose they could, seeing as vampires and werewolves are real, why not, right?

Right. So, here we are in happily-ever-after-land, and everyone's happy. Then WHY do I still get the heebie-jeebies whenever I leave my apartment?

I'll tell you why: Because everywhere I go, I still see them. Every pale face is the face of a vampire. Every cold hand I bump against is the hand of a killer. I've turned into a paranoid maniac!

It doesn't help that my vampire cohort, Lisa, keeps showing up to say hi. Honestly, I thought she had her own friends now? Our days of conspiring teamwork are _way _over. I just wish that I could forget any of it happened. I just want to go back to being normal.

Do things go back to normal? No, of course not. I have Lisa, Jacob, and of course, Tessa, to remind me, it all happened. Goodbye normal, solid, believable world, hello vampires, werewolves, and nightmares, oh my!

I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep since the day I found out the McNallys were all vampires, and the whole waking-up-screaming-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing isn't doing so well for my popularity, especially at college, and _especially _with my boyfriend, Mike.

To be honest, I don't give Mike the amount of credit he really deserves. After all, it's been months that I've been keeping this huge secret from him, and he _still_ wants to be with me. If our places were switched, I probably would have accused of an affair ages ago. I can't believe that this is what my life has come to; I never leave my apartment unless I have to, I'm keeping secrets from my boyfriend whom I am madly in love with, and my completely unromantic-best friend is closer to getting married than me. Can you say _jealous_?

It's just not fair! She got into this whole supernatural mess, dragged me with her, and yet she gets to be happy and lovey-dovey until death-do-us-part before me, and I'm stuck with creepy nightmares that resemble badly made horror-flicks from the 1950's!

But, oh wait, I forgot. It was all my fault, remember? Right. _That's _why my life sucks.

* * *

It was Tessa's surprise birthday party, and I was making myself comfortable at her house, per usual, while her family bounced around in anticipation of her and Jacob's arrival. I knew for a fact that she had _no idea _about the party; I made the tactful cell-phone call from my "dorm" to throw her off our trail myself. I hadn't seen my favorite girl since the weekend she made it home from the Cullen Estate, an adventure I was more than happy to have been excluded from, but I found her a changed girl from the one I had known before.

When I left Tessa at Dartmouth in August, she was still a scared, timid girl, stuck in a limbo of indecision. But when she came back… What a difference. Not only did she radiate happiness and good health, but the _life _was back in her, color returned to her pale cheeks, like she had thawed from some frozen state of being. And I thanked Jacob for that. I had never seen anyone who made her that happy, but the attachment went beyond mere chemistry. He was _perfect _for her. He reacted to her every movement apparently unconsciously, giving her the exact right amount of space. There were no strange silences between them; they always had something to say to one another, and if not, their eyes did all the talking. She _was _different, but in a good way.

I was yanked out of my reverie by Mrs. Calder's obsessive preparations for her daughter's arrival. Actually, the woman was probably more nervous about the _boyfriend _that would be coming with her. I didn't blame her at all; I had been scared silly when I first saw the massive hunk of man that was wrapped so innocently around the tiny shape of my best friend. Apparently Tessa has some kind of complex for mythological creatures. First vampires, now werewolves…

At least the latter didn't claim blood as their first form of sustenance. I could deal with that.

"Should I cut the cake before she gets here? I mean, it would save the time later, and we'd be sure to have equal sized pieces. But then, maybe some people want larger pieces? Or maybe we won't eat the whole thing and freeze the rest for later, in which case I shouldn't cut it. And we want Tessa to see the decorations on it, don't we? But it's just sitting there right now, and I don't just want to leave it-"

Tessa's brother, John, rolled his eyes and he motioned to his friend Eric to follow him upstairs. They weren't the most patient of our group.

"Mrs. Calder," I interrupted the woman's flustered monologue. "You aren't really going to try to deprive Tessa of cutting her own birthday cake, are you? Just calm down, we'll have plenty of time after she gets here! Why don't you sit down?"

"Oh no, I couldn't sit down…" she said distractedly while ringing her hands and staring out the front window, eyes scouting for any vehicle that looked like it had even the slightest inclination to pull into the driveway. "I don't know why I'm so nervous, it just seems like every time I have Tessa anywhere near me, she's going to disappear within seconds. You heard what happened the last time she came home, didn't you?"

"Yes, Tessa told me all about it. But really, could you blame her for the blunder? She's possibly one of the most forgetful people I know."

Mrs. Calder was of course referring to the time when Tessa and Jake had used the house to hide out during the days when Sean McNally was on the hunt for Tessa's mortality. They had gone speeding off almost as soon as they had arrived, barely getting the time to socialize with Tessa's family, and leaving with the poor excuse that Tessa had orchestra rehearsal at her college and had entirely forgotten about it. Which, all things considered, wasn't entirely unbelievable. Just inconvenient.

"I suppose she is a little forgetful…" Mrs. Calder mused while pacing around the kitchen. "Well, she gets that from my side of the family. I probably shouldn't be so accusing. You know, I really can't stay still. I'm going to take Hugo out for a walk."

"Brilliant idea, Mrs. Calder, I'm sure she'll show up while you're gone."

"Really?"

"Of course! Like waiting for food at a restaurant; as soon as you leave, the food arrives!"

"I suppose you're right," she sighed, the nerves no better for wear, leading a happy Hugo out the back door.

"Wow, what is the big deal around here?" my boyfriend, Mike, asked while scooting closer to me on the Calder's couch. Now that Tessa's mom was out of the room, he was a little more at ease. "They're acting like the president is coming, or something."

"Worse," I laughed. "Tess is bringing her boyfriend."

"You mean that Sean guy?" he asked, putting his arm around me casually.

"No, they broke up a few weeks ago. Tess met someone knew, and he's… a little intimidating." I didn't know why I hadn't filled Mike in on the details in Tessa's life, other than that I didn't particularly want to reflect on them myself.

"Intimidating how?" Mike asked. "Like, tattoos and dread locks? Or is he the motorcycle-riding, beer-chugging kind of guy?" He laughed at his own little joke, but I couldn't managed to laugh with him.

"It's kind of hard to explain. You'll see him when he gets here."

Mike shrugged a silent "okay," and turned his focus out the window towards the driveway where all our eyes had been fixed all morning. Almost as if on cue, the black Volkswagen Rabbit slowed and turned into the Calder's driveway.

"She's here!" I squealed, jumping off the couch and running to the window where I crouched down just out of sight. I watched Tessa and Jacob get out of the car, Jacob hurrying over to her side to close her door and wrap his arm around her waist, a motion so smooth it looked natural. Mrs. Calder and Tess's big, fluffy dog Hugo were walking in the front lawn and Hugo ran over to Tess and Jacob, leaping with joy as he shamefully threw himself at Jacob's feet, tail wagging furiously.

"Hey, Hugo never acts like that when I come over," I heard Mike mutter behind me. I turned to see him standing right behind me, peering over my head trying to see Tessa's "intimidating" boyfriend clearly.

"You idiot, get down!" I said sharply, pulling the hem of his polo shirt so that he was crouching behind me. "God, you're so nosey! You'll see them soon enough, this is supposed to be a surprise, remember?"

"Says the girl who's face is glued to the window," he chuckled sweetly, kissing my cheek. Hmm, I would love to pull his mouth on top of my lips and keep it there for a while, but at that moment I was on a mission, I could not be distracted…

The sound of the back door opening startled both of us and we tore apart, ducking behind the couch where Tess would see us when she walked into the room. Mrs. Calder was nervously spewing random bits of information to try and distract Tessa, but this was normal behavior for her, so Tess wasn't suspicious.

"…And John's been doing very well at school this year, he made it on the honor roll for first term, and his science teacher nominated him for student of the month!" She said brightly, placing Tessa's bag on the kitchen table. Hugo followed her, his nails clicking on the kitchen's brick floor. The shuffle of bodies told me that Tessa and Jacob were both standing just on the other side of the couch. My heart was racing from the excitement.

"That's great," Tessa said. "Where is John? I haven't talked to the little bugger in ages."

"SURPRISE!" Mike and I jumped up from behind the couch just as John and Eric leaped down the stairs, forcing a very surprised Tessa to scream and fall backward, where Jacob fortunately caught her. John and Eric were laughing so hard you could hear another word said in the room.

"Oh! We _so _got you, we got you good!" Eric squealed while jumping up and down. I raced forward and grabbed my best friend in a hug around the shoulders.

"Oh my God, I've missed you so much!" I cried out, laughing along with everyone else.

"You scared the _heck _out of me!" Tessa screamed, though her face was breaking into the smile I knew and loved. She turned against Jacob, taking out the rest of her anger.

"You were in on this weren't you? I can't believe you!" She smacked him playfully and his grin was wide enough to knock the walls down. He just chuckled and kissed her on top of the head.

This kiss did the trick; She was calm, all smiles. "I should have known," she laughed. "He did say something that made me suspect…"

"All part of my clever plot," Jacob laughed. "I am the master at surprises."

"Well, it was a great help having you in on our little plan," Mrs. Calder agreed. "Happy Birthday, Baby Girl," She said affectionately, squeezing Tessa's arm. "My goodness, I can't believe you're nineteen. So grown up! I remember the day you were born, it was sunny, and warm, and I was walking all over the hospital because you were so stubborn-"

"I've heard the story, Mom," Tessa said quickly to end the monologue before it got underway. "Alright, if this is a party, where's my cake?"

Tessa's mom lead her around the kitchen while I was faced with the uncomfortable job of introducing my boyfriend to Jacob Black.

"Mike, this is Jacob," I said, waving my hand in front of the large Native American. Jacob smiled and extended a hand of greeting.

"It's nice to meet you, Tessa's told me a lot about you," he said in his deep husky voice. I was still a little awed every time I saw Jacob, and now was no exception. Mike was looking at him apprehensively, clearly comprehending the intimidating quality the Quileute werewolf possessed. If anything, he was sizing him up, like competition.

"Can't say I've heard much about you," Mike said a little less warmly than Jake's greeting had been. "But then, I haven't seen Tess in a while. Spending too much time with my girlfriend, I suppose," he said meaningfully, putting a forceful arm around my waist, like he was claiming his territory. He was acting very odd.

Jacob seemed to understand better than I did because he politely excused himself and joined Tessa who was catching up with her parents while she and Mrs. Calder cut the beautiful birthday cake we had ordered for her.

As soon as Jacob was gone I pulled Mike's arm off me and faced him. "What was that about?" I said, a little more sharply than I intended.

Mike looked startled for a second then mumbled, "Nothing…"

We celebrated, we ate cake, and we enjoyed ourselves for the majority of the afternoon. Tessa and Jacob were nearly inseparable, Mrs. Calder was happy as ever, John and Eric had ditched the party as soon as the cake was gone, and Mr. Calder was grilling Jacob with questions about power tools. And Mike was slightly more removed than usual. I couldn't figure out why he was acting so strangely.

After dinner, everyone went outside to join in on a game of Frisbee, the favorite sport of all the Calders. Everything seemed to be going fine until Tessa got so warmed up that she tossed off her sweatshirt, revealing a large purple bruise on her arm.

The air in my lungs froze as I saw that bruise. Bruises weren't anything new for Tess. She was very familiar with them, in fact, thanks to a certain vampire…

"My goodness, Tessa!" Mrs. Calder exclaimed. "How'd you get that bruise?"

"Ugh," Tessa moaned. "Don't remind me, it's so embarrassing!"

Jacob was laughing. "That's just Tessa being Tessa. She thought it would be a good idea to try to carry all her books and her French Horn down the stairs at once, without even turning the hall light on-"

"-And I tripped, fell, tossed all my stuff on the floor, and voila! Big purple bruise to remind me not to be an idiot next time," Tessa finished, showing off the masterpiece that covered her bicep. "Jake hasn't let me hear the end of it since! I'm officially not allowed to carry _any _of my own books because Casanova here has to be gallant all the time!"

"I'm just looking out for your best interest, love," Jacob said sweetly, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Of course, there was no way any vampire could be hurting Tessa now. Watching Jacob holding her with so much care, I knew that he wouldn't let any danger near her. She would always have him to look out for her.

I watched the two tenderly, my eyes full of what must have been some form of longing. Sure, Tessa had a werewolf to protect her from the scary vampires, but who would protect me? I had no one on my side to keep me safe. I was utterly alone.

I noticed Mike watching me and realized I wasn't alone. I had Mike, but what use was he against vampires? I loved him more than anything, but he was in as great a danger as I was against the threat of the immortal creatures.

The sun was setting and it was becoming too dark to continue our game of Frisbee, so everyone headed inside where Mrs. Calder poured us all glasses of lemonade and Mr. Calder turned on a CD of classical piano music.

"So, Jacob," Tessa's dad said while he fixed his own slightly stronger drink, "Any plans for Christmas yet? Going to spend it with your family you think?"

"Actually, Dad," Tessa said suggestively, a knowing look passing between her and Jacob, "I was wondering if he could spend Christmas with us? You see, we have something kind of important coming up…"

My eyes grew wide as I anticipated what they were about to announce. Mrs. Calder looked as unaware as a fawn, and Mr. Calder's grip on his glass tightened.

Jacob cleared his throat and said with no hesitation, "We're going to get married."

I nearly fainted. Mrs. Calder screamed. John yelled a shocked, "No way!" and Mr. Calder took a very large sip from his drink.

Tessa beamed with excitement, while she continued explaining. "We wanted to tell you today. We're not going to have the wedding for a while, but I want Jacob to spend Christmas with us so we'll have more time to plan and to tell the rest of the family.

"Well," Mrs. Calder said, once she got over the initial surprise, "That's lovely! We're so happy to welcome you to the family!"

Mr. Calder's comment of "Isn't it a little soon?" was ignored.

Tessa launched into discussing plans with her mother while I zoned out for the most part, until she said my name, bringing me back to reality.

"You're going to be my maid of honor, you _have _to be! I want Lisa and Alice to be my bridesmaids. Oh, I can't wait for you to meet Alice, the two of you will get along so well!"

There was no end to it, was there? Vampires were a permanent part of my life now. I smiled, and congratulated Tessa, and excused myself, claiming that Mike and I had to get home.

As I silently drove back to my apartment, my mind continued mulling over the information the day had provided me.

My best friend was getting married; it was official. Not that I was one of those hopeless romantics who dreamed of their boyfriend getting down on one knee their entire lives, but it still stung a little that my best friend would be tying the knot before me, after dating her now fiancé for only a little more than a month. Mike and I had been dating for two years and that didn't make us any more ready to get married. Tessa's situation, however, put things into perspective a little more.

"Umm," Mike said hesitantly as we were speeding down the expressway, "Are you going to say something? You've been totally silent since we left."

"Sorry," I stammered, "I was just thinking…"

"Yeah, I know, it's a lot to take in." His eyes widened at the thought and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "How long has Tessa been seeing Jacob, anyway?"

"A little more than a month," I answered.

"Seriously? That's it? And they're already making that big of a decision? Shouldn't she wait a little while? Like a year or two?"

"Their relationship is a little different than most," I replied offhandedly. "They are very serious, I'm sure they know exactly what they're getting into." I was entirely confident that they would _never _have a reason to break up.

"What are you saying?" Mike asked, more offended than I expected. "That our relationship isn't as serious as theirs? That we aren't as in love as they are?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Where is this coming from?"

"Never mind," Mike muttered, turning to stare out the window. "Forget I said anything."

The rest of the drive home was quiet. The radio was the only one doing the talking. Mike wouldn't look at me, and when I reached out to hold his hand he pulled his back, leaving mine hanging above the gear shift.

I just couldn't understand where this coldness was coming from, but I knew that when we got home I would find out.

When I parked at the apartment building, Mike got out and marched with purpose up the three flights of stairs to our apartment and I hurried to keep up. The whole event reminded me of the opening scene in my favorite movie, _P.S. I Love You_, and I knew there was more truth to it than just the motions. He was waiting till we were behind closed doors to let me know what was bothering him.

I walked into our small two room apartment, seeing that Mike was pacing between the nonexistent barrier of the living room and the kitchen, anger pulsing off him with every step.

"Okay!" I exclaimed, tossing my bag on the floor and throwing my arms up in the air. "I give up! What on earth has been bothering you today? Ever since this afternoon, you have been in one of the sourest moods I've ever seen! You barely talked to Tessa all day, when it was _her _party, and you haven't even said much to me! And then that stupid argument on the way home? What is going on?"

Mike stopped pacing and looked at me. "What's going on with me? What's going on with _you?_ How can you blame me for acting weird? Your best friend announced that she's getting married to someone she's known for a month and you aren't the least bit worried? That doesn't strike you as odd at all? I know you, and you love Tessa like a sister, so call me crazy for being surprised that you aren't jumping up and down trying to stop her from making such a big mistake!"

"Hey!" I shouted back defensively. "What makes you think she's making a mistake? You don't know Jacob from Adam, you don't know anything about their relationship-"

"That's another thing," Mike continued. "You go off claiming that they have some kind of _special_ relationship- What could be so different between them than what's between us?"

"Don't you go comparing our relationship to theirs-"

"Ha!" He yelled, pointing his finger at me. "So you do think that they are more serious than we are! You just admitted it!"

"No! I didn't say that!" I objected, becoming more furious by the second. "I'm _not _comparing us to them, that's stupid and infantile! I told you, it's different-"

"I don't see how!" Mike exclaimed. "Other than the fact that we're clearly more responsible than they are."

"What is so irresponsible about getting married? You keep bring it up, like it's the worst thing they could do-"

"It is!" He yelled, exasperated. "It's stupid! They're acting like complete idiots! Who gets married after knowing each other for a month?"

"People who are in love, obviously!" I said pointedly.

Mike took a step back, like I had hit him in the gut. "You're saying that I don't love you?" he asked quietly.

"No!" I said, shocked. "That's not what I'm saying at all-"

"Then you don't love me?" he continued, hurt forming on his brow as kept moving backward, putting more space between us.

"No!" I pleaded. "I do love you! I do-"

"Yeah right," he spat at me, his face gray with anger and pain. He headed toward our bedroom with a bag in hand, grabbing random things out of drawers and stuffing them in. "You know, I may not be the most observant person in the world, but I can pick up on social cues, and I saw the way you were staring at Jacob today."

I was stunned. "W-wha- _what_?" I stammered. "Are you suggesting that I have a thing for _Jacob_?"

"Yeah, I am," he said roughly, glaring at me harshly as he worked his way through the bathroom, grabbing more items that disappeared into his bag.

"As if!" I laughed. "I would never, _never_, do that to my best friend!"

"Well then how do you explain the way you were looking at them this afternoon? When we were all outside? They have a word for that look, and it's called ENVY."

I was almost speechless. "I- I… I was admiring _them_, like, together, as a couple! I don't like Jacob! Not at all! I love _you_-"

"Yeah, well, that only confirms my other suspicion. You want to get married. You're jealous of Tessa, you want a more serious relationship, and I'm sorry! I love you, but I'm _not _ready to get married, and if you want something more serious than this, than you'll have to find it elsewhere."

He was at the door of our apartment, bag in one hand, keys to his car in the other. My eyes opened for what felt like the first time as I realized what he was about to do.

"No… You're not- No!" I screamed as his hand reached for the door, my tongue tasting the first of the salty tears that had landed on my lips.

The door closed behind him and I fell to the floor, tears and screams issuing from me without my being aware of them. I waited for him to come back through the door so we could kiss and make up, just like in _P.S. I Love You._ He would come back in, and I would jump into his arms, and then he would do a sexy strip dance in boxers and suspenders…

He didn't come back. I waited another minute, counting seconds under my breath. Finally, I ripped the door open and ran up the last flight of stairs to the roof of our apartment. I ran as close to the edge as I dared, just catching a glimpse of the red taillights as Mike drove away.

My breath was coming in in gasps, and I wrap my arms around my middle, pulling on my sweater to cling to my arms in the cool night air. I screamed. I ran over and kicked a random unidentifiable object that was sitting on the roof. My cell-phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked it up and answered it. It was Lisa. I cried while she talked me down off the roof, already on her way to my apartment.

I was alone in a world full of vampires.


End file.
